Unlucky thirty

What manner of cruel fates were lined up against us this week? On Monday, it promised to be a bumper crop, with nine of us expected. Then Katy's two friends bailed out before Katy herself decided that exhaustion had got the better of her and she, too, declined. Then Joe, while moving a book case, had it fall on his head and he had to go to hospital to have it checked out. Finally, my neighbour found water dripping down through her ceiling so I stayed until the maintenance guy arrived and sorted everything out meaning that I would be late if I arrived at all .

That's why, at the regular time, only four players sat around Sam's kitchen table, which Sam had pulled away from the wall and put stools around to accommodate far more people. The four in question were Sam, Martin, Ian and Adam (of the T variety).

First they played EQ.

Sam 41
Ian 30
Adam 25
Martin out, but scored 32

Then they played Panic Lab. I arrived just as it was being put away. I don't know the scores but judging by Ian and Sam's air of bamboozlement, I think either Martin or Adam won.

I took my place at the table, exhausted, and waited for the games selection to be brought in by the others.

A sparse games night

Martin and Adam brought in a couple of clever area control/set collecting games while Sam brought in Villagers and his son, Stanley. I went for certain last place by agreeing to Traders Of Osaka (hoping that the method of choosing starting player was Last Player To Visit Japan, but it wasn't) while Ian got involved in a battle between father and son.

Martin gave a rules explanation, prefacing certain aspects with phrases like "the tricky bit is..." "the mean bit is..." And so on. It all seemed typically devious. Simple, yet difficult enough that I struggle to summarise it here.

The main premise of the game is the market - a row of cards. You can buy everything or take only one card and use it as money later. Of course, if you take a card then you make the market cheaper for others. A delicate balance. Buying cards pushes ships of that colour from Osaka to Edo and, once there, those cards will pay out.

There's more to it than that, but I spent most of the time juggling personal needs with communal benefits. There was never any doubt about first place, but Adam's initial reticence to use his reserve token may have cost him second place.

Martin 18
Andrew 11
Adam 10

Villagers is, I believe, about rebuilding a village after the plague has hit and that's all I know. They ended at the same time as we did and although Ian ended with a good score for a debutant, Sam was more concerned waiting for his son to count up his score.

"Thirty eight," said Stanley.

"Really?" remarked Sam, full of hope.

"One hundred and thirty eight." Stanley clarified.

"Go to bed," Sam ordered.

Stanley 138
Sam 133
Ian 66

After this we were a group of five. What to play next? We chose Voodoo Prince and what a tense event it was. We played three rounds and in round two we were all poised for victory/defeat/humiliation with two tricks each. One more trick would see anyone have to bow out and take whatever points were available. In the end it was Ian. But his haul of eight points got him considerably more than the player who never scored that third trick, Sam, who got only two points.

And this is how slow and steady Ian, never last, never first, won the game. Adam must take some of the credit, though. He was in stone cold last as we entered round three and he fell on his sword to spite the current leader Martin; he was the first to get his third trick just to stop Martin from winning. In fact Adam sent Martin from first to fourth.

Ian 25
Sam 24
Andrew 24
Martin 23
Adam 17

Now Adam left, as heroes should, on a high. The remaining four played L.A.M.A. We chuckled as we remarked on those short sighted people on Board Game Geek who seemed to think that the game required no decisions. Then we demonstrated what they meant by playing a round where no one picked up a card and the starting player (Martin) went out.

Martin 12
Sam 17
Andrew 27
Ian 46

Ian left at this point, and the three of us set off on a game of Flotsam Fight. Another gem from Oink Games and with a gossamer-thin theme draped over the game mechanic. Basically, there are eight lifeboats, numbered three to ten. Each player has a hand of cards of numbers between (I assume) 3 and 99. You can only put the cards in lifeboats that are a factor of the card. For example, the card 12 could go in the boats 3, 4 and 6. The factors are listed on the card, so you don't have to work it out yourself.

It was fun and more subtle than I initially thought. Amazingly, the mathematically minded Martin didn't win.

Sam 5
Martin 2
Andrew - 1

And what about a finale? We chose the old favourite, The Mind. Again, Martin regaled us with some of the dumber criticisms of the game from BGG including one reviewer who'd interpreted the silence during the game as being passive aggressive. "It's a co-op game," Sam sighed.

Some people, eh?

The game was amazing. We got through a tough round one (39 - 45 - 51) and in round three Martin managed to slide a 69 under the 70 that Sam was about to put down.

In round eight we lost a life when a 27 got stuck to the back of another card in Sam's hand, only revealing itself far too late. Despite this, we went into round ten with two lives left. We could almost smell the Dark Mind. Alas, we lost those two lives. Both to close calls, as I recall.

And then we were done. Despite my late start, it had been worth it. Keen to give Flotsam Fight another go, and Traders... too. And thanks to all for attending. Commiserations to those who didn't.

Hottest Games Night on record

If Tuesday games nights are the moral boosting night out to help us past the first half of the week, then surely Thursdays are an act of impatience - a demanding that the weekend starts now. And as Ian, Sam and I began at six o'clock this evening with a glass of red wine, we reminded ourselves that we all had work the next day.

Sam's family were away and so he'd arranged an early start with the promise of a chip supper. After a brief text discussion, Scythe was chosen as our opening attraction and it was all set up ready for us to begin when we arrived.

It's been a while since this puzzley strategy game had been seen and there were a few rules to be refreshed but otherwise it was smooth sailing. Sam had a special ability that allowed him to go straight to the factory hex in the middle and he used it frequently. I was first to fight, trying to stop Sam from encroaching on the third of the board that I considered rightfully mine.

We paused at 7 while Ian and I went for chips and Sam phoned his family. Sam and Ian wanted small cod and chips but my order of large chips and a pickled egg seemed to confuse the chippy who slowly repeated "large chips and pickled egg," then turned to Ian to confirm his order of small cod and chips twice before ending on an unsure "... and large chips with a pickled egg." I started to think I had said something wrong but I stuck to my guns and we got there in the end. Before long we were sitting outside on Sam's decking, eating our meals.

Once back inside, Ian planted flags everywhere and quickly got his workers out. He had plenty of territory but few stars. I had little territory but more stars while Sam had both. He needed one last star to end the game and decided to attack me to get it. I managed to survive one onslaught but in doing so, I used up most of my power so it was a formality for him to beat me in battle next turn and finish the game.

Sam 84
Ian 56
Andrew 42

As if that weren't enough fiestiness, our next game was Quantum. My initial roll of 1, 3, 5 was almost perfect for a map of sevens, eights and nines with no ten planets. But Sam got off to a flier, with his Curious ability allowing him one extra action as long as it was a move. I added a fourth ship to my fleet which, because I was Arrogant, gave me an extra action. Despite all of this and Ian's heroics in trying to take down Sam in battle, Sam was able to put down his last cube first.

Sam 0 cubes left
Andrew 1
Ian 2

Another win for Sam. What could stop him? We chose Knit Wit as our next (and, as it turned out, final) game of the evening.

We played twice. In the first round, I cottoned on to the jolly wheeze that a lot of the adjectives could apply to seas, and so my replies were mostly bodies of water. According to me, the Dead Sea is Whimsical and the Irish Sea is Friendly. But I ended up with "a poo in the sea," such was my desire to keep the theme going. Maybe I shouldn't have been so restrictive. But I still won.

Andrew 21
Sam 20
Ian 17

In round two, a bit of earlier banter about "my granddad's cock" came back to haunt us when Sam and I both used it for Secret and Hard. Then Sam clashed again, this time with Ian as they both put Everest for Hard. He still won, though.

Sam 17
Ian 16
Andrew 14

At this point, Ian's bus was looming and rather than wait for the next, he called it a night. Suddenly faced with the prospect of an early night, I took it. We finished up at an all too sensible 9.50pm. But we had done a lot and, besides, the second hottest day on record is enough to take the wind out of anyone's sails. But thanks for hosting, Sam. And for attending, Ian.

Third Dan

The muggy Bristol heat almost made for an eighth player last night, with even Sybil subdued by humidity. But we were seven: Joe hosting, Martin, Adam T, Katy, Ian, myself (Sam) and newbie Dan who has just moved in around the corner from Joe, so - who knows? - may feature regularly for the year he plans on staying.

I was a little late and before I arrived they played Panic Lab. I know nothing about it other than the fact there is a Dobble-esque real-time pressure and therefore probably best I was late. Martin, apparently, was the least panicked when they finished.

Then, with Dan's arrival imminent, we split into two factions of Pax Pamir and Chinatown and set up whilst trying to recall all the Dans who have come and gone in the near-decade existence of GNN. There's been at least two. I thought there was three, but then I remembered one of them wasn't called Dan. Anyway: in Afghanistan it was Adam, Martin and myself. Across the other side of the world Joe, Katy and Ian explained Chinatown to now-present Dan. Or Joe did. "The rules are very simple" he assured him. "I just can't remember them."

We had no such issues in Pamir, having played it only last week. Adam and Martin aligned themselves with the Afghans whilst I went Russian. This gave me a bit of a workout keeping up with the pair of them placing armies and roads on the board - in order to score points I either needed the Russians dominant or nobody at all. The latter was more likely.

Normally when Pamir gets played there's one player who gets stuck in stasis - not having enough cash, or stuck with off-suit cards and taking underwhelming turns whilst waiting for the tide to change. Last night was the first time this seemed to happen to all of us simultaneously though; Adam cash-poor, Martin frustrated by the cards and me having to add cards to my court then instantly discard them several times.

On the other half of the table, there were no in-at-the-deep-end troubles for Dan - he seemed to be in his element, channeling the survival skills of the perpetually self-employed as he haggled for position in Chinatown. But beyond that I didn't pick up much of what was going on, as Pamir's inscrutability took all our attention.

When the first dominance card was activated (by the appearance of the second) nobody was dominant, so Adam and I shared non-dominant points: a massive 2 each with Martin back on zero. I was seconds away from a win as Martin - now aligned with the British - removed an Afghan road instead of a Russian one. But he changed his mind! Then as we inched towards the third dominance scoring, I changed allegiance to the Afghans and so did Martin. Suddenly we were all vying for dominance and I was in pole position. I gave the warlords a second gift, and wrapped the game up with the others unable to prevent me scoring:

Sam 7
Adam/Martin 2

Martin's face suggested he was marginally less enamoured of Pamir than last week, and both he and Adam said Pax Porfiriana is less abstracted. In fact Martin's complaint wasn't about the play but the lack of theme. As the winner, I was less bothered by that but I agreed with Adam's summary: It was too hot to play Pamir.

Chinatown was still in full-construction so we tried our luck, literally, at PUSH; Joe's recent purchase of card collection and implosion. I remembered Andrew's success and decided to bank as soon as my cards went into double figures, and despite some swingy dice-rolling, this tactic worked for me too:

Sam 74
Martin 61
Adam 56

To Martin's disbelief, they were still at it in Chinatown, so we played the (not hugely dissimilar to PUSH) L.A.M.A as well. Martin's evening went from bad to worse:

Sam 8
Adam 13
Martin 43

As we wrapped that up, the final roof tile was placed in Chinatown and the scaffolders left for good. When the dust of negotiation settled, the triumphant wheeler-dealer was Dan:

Dan 11,70000
Katy 11,10000
Joe 10,80000
Ian 10,40000

It had been an epic but everyone seemed happy to have lived through it. But with the time now pressing on somewhat, Ian departed for home and Adam T followed him out the door. We were left as a five and that was the perfect number for Martin's new addition to his games cupboard, QE.

I guess QE, unsnappy though it is, is still more snappy than quantitive easing, which is what it stands for. Players each represent a country (apart from me - I was the EU) trying to become the most profitable by bidding for industries. Over 15 turns (three rounds of five) an industry tile is flipped over that will score between 2-4 points, and represents an industry as well as a country. If you buy your own country tile, it's worth additional points to you. If you have diverse industries, that's good - but you can also score points by specialising. Your industries are gathered together in a bingo-like card in front of you, where your other scores are recorded as well.

One considerable catch with QE is that you can bid absolutely anything you like: from zero to fifty trillion and higher. But the player who has spent the most, like High Society, is an instant loser. This leads to a see-saw battle battle between bidding high enough to win and not so high as to promote yourself to status of most-profligate. And the other considerable catch is all bids are hidden from everyone except the auctioneer: when it's your turn, you start the bidding (everyone sees that) and then you get to see all bids and announce the winner, but without announcing the bid itself. Instead the bid is recorded on the industry tile and kept face-down. Everybody has the option of looking at the winning bid too, which is really helpful, but can only use this special power once in the entire game.

It amounted to a weird mix of group-think and second-guessing. Martin claimed the first two tiles to himself and got them, considering where we ended up, very cheaply. Dan started pushing the bids up as he claimed no less than three housing tiles. Katy also seemed to be doing well early on. I had a strong mid-game, but Joe was stuck on one tile and kept being outbid. Determined to get the final one, he hiked up the price to 10,000 and got the tile - but also shunted himself into last position by virtue of money-spent. Dan and I looked most productive, and I pipped him to the win:

Sam 41
Dan 36
Martin 31
Katy 28
Joe 18 and spent most!

Katy and I now plumped for Dead Man's Chest to finish the evening. Martin was against it, not least because the rules are always so oddly bewildering to us, and when I brought Dan to see Joe's game collection he also vehemently insisted I had "twice as many" games as Joe. We also mentioned the blog to Dan somewhere around this point, which was a real "Let's invite him to the club, Michael" moment: Dan realised that despite the relatively light baptism with Chinatown, perhaps wasn't all quite as it seemed.

Martin returned with some options but found Katy was already explaining the rules of Dead Man's Chest to Dan. We all chipped in with some extra clarifications at this point, none of which helped particularly. I suggested since Dan was to my right I start and he can watch us play, but I'm not sure this helped either. It is such a bizarre game, and Dan was unsurprised to go out first (I think), reflecting that "I should never have looked" after his second challenge on Katy. Martin was next to fall (I think), followed by Katy and leaving Joe and I to face off. I guessed his bluff, and - even more bizarre - picked up my fifth win of the night!

1 Sam
2 Joe
3 Katy
4 Martin
5 Dan

With the distant sound of thunder rumbling in from Clifton but the heat still as stifling as when we arrived, it was finally time to go. Another wonderful GNN evening, and hopefully we'll see Dan again. He seemed to be as coherent when he left as when he arrived.

Just the pax, ma'am

A little note to mark yet another game of Pax Pamir on Thursday, the third in three days for GNN and the fourth in four for Sam if you include his solo walk through. This kind of ardent adoration for a game hasn't been seen since... Well, since Orbit, about a month ago.

But Orbit is a pussy cat compared to Pax's wave of rules, trimmed down from the first edition but still a hefty amount to take on board. As three Afghan war lords, Sam, Martin and I placed armies, built roads and sent spies out so that we could gain influence.

We started all loyal to the Russian forces, but I broke ranks first, cosying up to British before too long. Sam picked up a tableau of purple cards since they increase the size of your tableau and also, since the favoured suit was purple, he had a range of free actions to supplement his two free ones.

The first scoring card came out and, thanks to a little luck, a second one followed it which meant an immediate dominance check before Martin could change things in his favour.

Sam was sitting pretty despite our attempts to change the favoured suit away from purple. Martin decided to swap hands with Sam, only to realise he'd given him a card that'd let Sam switch the favoured suit back to purple. And if that weren't enough, another dominance card came out and cash-rich Sam was able to snap it up and score big. He won by being so far ahead that the end of the game was triggered.

I didn't note the scores, but I had no points at all. I'd spent the evening trying things out and not really obsessing over tactics but even I had moments of AP when the cards available all seemed equally good. Or interesting.

After this we played Metropolys, a game rarely seen but was perfectly suited to end the game. Take control of city regions by bidding for them with incrementally higher tower blocks.

Sam was quick to put down plenty of blocks while Martin held back his most powerful for the big moves. I was pleased with my clever move which allowed me to surround a lamp post (one of my secret criteria - I suppose this is important to civil engineers) by creating a dead end that I could bid for and win immediately. But Martin won even if he was so obvious with his moves that Sam and I worked out both of his secret criteria mid game.

Martin 25 ish
Andrew approx 20
Sam 15 more or less

And we were done! At a reasonable hour, too. An evening of two games I'd like to revisit soon.

Passport-Packing Power-grabber Pax Pamir's Poetry

Pamir's - Pam Ayers? Yes?  No? - No. Fine.

Last night I introduced Adam H to the joys/hell that is Pax Pamir 2 as we faced off, two-player, over the historical future, if I can put it that way, of Afghanistan.

For the uninitiated, three coalition powers are hoping to claim the country - or most of it - for themselves: Afghans, British and Russians. The players are tribal leaders hoping to both manipulate events in their favour, and be sure to either A. be aligned with the strongest coalition when points are scored or B. be the busiest player (most discs in play) if no one coalition is dominant.

Although each turn is simple, it's a game of ifs and buts. You always have two actions, but can get extra ones if your cards match the current favoured suit. You can purchase cards from the market with an action, but you have to pay rupees to take them from anywhere outside of the left-hand column. You can play cards to your court (face-up on the table) but if you're playing a card with a region that another player rules on the map, you have to pay for the privilege. Your court limit is three, but you can make it bigger by playing purple (political) suited cards. Your hand limit is two, but you can make that bigger by having blue suited cards in your court. Red-suited cards break ties, but when the red suit is favoured, cards from the market cost more. And so on. It is all, to be fair, thematically sound, but it's also somewhat inscrutable with a fair bit to remember on a first play. I haven't even mentioned spies, who can sneak around the table and destroy opponent's cards, or how influence is measured come the scoring (patriot cards, gifts, prizes) or how you can change your allegiance at the drop of a hat, or how hard money is to come by.

Just like Martin and I on Tuesday versus Adam T, Adam H found himself cash-poor at times whilst I played taxes cards early and kept a steady trickle of rupees flowing. Adam aligned himself with the Afghans whilst I favoured the British, and my previous experiences helped keep my brain from imploding whilst Adam, in contrast, seemed to be getting a migraine. He wasn't helped by the fact the market was getting clogged up with Russian and British patriot cards that he didn't want, causing him to briefly change allegiance to the Russkies before later changing back to the Afghans. One area he was comfortable on was the map, where the Russians were nowhere to be seen and I had to keep chasing after the Afghans with British pieces to keep Adam from hitting an instant win when a Dominance check (scoring card) was activated. I managed to do so, and after the first Dominance card activated my tribe established a 3-1 lead.

actually from Tuesday, but I forgot to take pics

Adam was still scratching his head, but I sensed a sea change away from confusion and towards percolation. He realised he'd done something wrong - I hadn't spotted it, but then I was busy with my own plans - which was a worrying sign. He nearly won the second Dominance check, but was one rupee short of what he needed to pay for. I glanced down at my one hand card and saw I could play a spy with it, and outnumber Adam on discs in play (-discs are spies or tribes depending on their location) and having done so, I activated the next Dominance check for a sudden 6-2 win: any player four points ahead of other players wins instantly. I only wish I could say I'd planned it.

Adam professed not being enamoured but I hope this was first-play-blues. He did sit and stare at the board with the air of someone thinking next time... and reflect on the experience, so I hope that's the case.

I tried to make up for my indulgences and encouraged Adam to choose the next game. We pondered the alcove for a while before settling on the lesser-seen Tsuro: the tile-laying game of dizzy dragons where the last one standing survives. This is an old favourite of ours and it was a shame Andrew wasn't there to see it hit the table again - but we made up for absences by inventing a Team Tsuro variant: both of us had two dragons and two hands, which gave a potential for teamwork between partners: one could push the other into a convenient place to go 'on the attack' and push your opponents dragons into a corner, say.

It was quite lovely to watch - like two sets of dance partners twirling a ballroom intent on assassination. However Adam's end came first at his own hand, as he sent his white dragon flying into the void with little assistance from me. After that he was outnumbered, and my dragons forced him into a narrow corridor from which there was no escape:

Sam wins
Adam doesn't

We fleetingly discussed a third game to round things off, but with 11o'clock approaching and Sally also returned from her night out, we ended things there.

Too many rules

Is it even possible to have too many rules? We at GNN gave it our best shot this Tuesday at Sam's with a couple of AP-inducing semi-epics. Adam T, Adam H, Martin, Ian and myself joined our host around his kitchen table for our first Tuesday evening together in a few weeks. Martin, Sam and Adam T chose Pax Pamir while the rest of us chose Orbit.

In Pax Pamir, the game recreates an Afghanistan riven by divisions and subterfuge caused by the British and Russian forces. Sam had recently bought the second edition, with its charming textile map and large tactile pieces. There was a bit of setting up and rule learning/refreshing to be done and it all looked very complicated.

Not like Orbit, the game that we insist is like Ticket to Ride in space except it isn't really, which is far simpler. In terms of rules, that is. This time we avoided the familiar and newbie-friendly space agencies of NASA or ESA and set ourselves a real challenge. Adam was India (no feul) and I chose Japan (no points) while Ian had the Soviets. Then we put the planets in their astronomically correct positions and we were off. I was a little rusty, but Adam kept things moving. We needed a pause or two to check the rules. I forgot that on returning to Earth, a ship goes back to the docks, and Adam questioned my move of landing on a planet with a different rocket to the one that put me into orbit. It was a challenging game. Ian had only one feul for the whole game since it would've taken so long to put it up to two that he always had something better to do with his turn. This became a real weight around his neck in the latter stages of the game.

Adam looked smart in his three-feul three-speed ships and our only hope was that he'd pick up unfortunate mission cards. I got lucky with mine, getting two cards that I'd already done to offset the one that I couldn't. Ian kept reaching for cards like a madman who'd recently come to regret his lack of investment in fuel.

Adam 49 (including +15 in mission cards)
Andrew 24 (including +1)
Ian 23 (including - 9)

Pax Pamir was still in full swing. If "full swing" is the right way to describe a game in which no one scored any points at all in the first hour. After two hours, Martin had fallen behind 3-3-0 but then a costly mis-step from Sam gave him the win. I don't know what the details were but suddenly he had ten points and they were packing up saying how much they'd enjoyed it.

Martin 10
Sam 3
Adam T 3

In the space between end of Orbit and end of Pax, we three had a few jolly rounds of Love Letter to fill the time until Ian had to go and get a bus.

Andrew 2
Adam H 1
Ian 0

At this point, Adam T also left and the remaining four of us played Two Many Cooks or, as Adam dubbed it, Too Many Rules. After our collective brains had been frazzled by two heavy games, we found ourselves struggling with some of the finer nuances. Such as having to follow suit, except when you don't have to. And how some zero cards are actually tens unless you play them first in which case they are zeroes.

But we battled through yet another trick taker with a twist. Adam said it was all random and then Martin wins, which I think is possibly a game category on Board Game Geek. It was fun. No Texas Showdown, but fun. And Martin didn't win.

Sam 26
Andrew 22
Martin 21
Adam 16

And with that, the evening was over. Only four games played. Whatever happened to our stamina? Our verve? Our giddy reckless stumbling through one game after another? Nevertheless, a good evening and I'd like to get another game of Orbit in soon: I was surprised how rusty I was at it.  Thanks to all. Let's do this again soon.

Time of Crispies

This month’s jaunt across ancient Europe was remarkable for a number of things. Mostly because of Joe’s choice of crisps: Paprika flavoured and very nice, but in a bag the size of a small pillow with the words “XXL” proudly blazened across the top. While other people’s snacks filled the communal bowl once, Joe’s crisps filled it twice and then still had enough for an encore of about two-thirds.

That’s the important news covered: what about the fates of man?

Well, Joe set himself up in Pannonia, Martin in Gallia, Ian in Hispania and me in Macedonia. Joe put a sassanid in Galatia and then took Britannia in his first move. “Coming round my backside?” Martin noted. Joe made no comment. Martin took Asia. Ian rolled a Pax Deorum and grumbled that they weren’t much use so early on. He took Africa and used the extra red card to hire a slightly more expensive general. I went my usual off-piste path of 3B 2Y but had a 1R thanks to Pax. I took Thracia and hired a general.

In round two Joe’s harrowing past experiences in Pannonia prompted him to build a Limes there, and then he reinforced both of his armies. Martin built a Basilica in Asia and hired governors and generals. Ian built a Limes in Africa, mindful of the Nomads already appearing on his horizon. Then he hired a new general and put him in Hispania. My crisis roll sent two Franks into Martin’s Gallia. Meanwhile I built and army in Thracia, boosted support in Macedonia and hired a governor.

Round three, and a Goth joined my in Thracia. Joe hired a governor and got voted into Syria, despite the Sassanids (so often the bane of our lives) massing on the border. Martin had 3B, 2Y and 1R. He moved his army into Italia and with his Basilica and his vote-giving yellow card (Ambitus) he had five votes and took his seat as an early emperor. It was 8.40 and we hadn’t even opened our first bag of crisps yet. Ian got voted into Egypt, moving his army from Africa to Egypt anf then boosting support in the now army-free Africa. I took a pop at Emperor Martin in Asia but failed, and then got voted into Syria.

Scores so far: Martin 14, Joe 9, Ian 9, Andrew 7

Round four was a quiet one: Joe took his army from Britannia to Gallia and beat Martin’s lone Militia there. Martin boosted his support in Gallia, healed his legion in Asia and attacked me there and won. Ian hired a governor and was voted into Gallia, where he then boosted support. I rolled another Pax Deorum, which helped me deal with those pesky Goths in Thracia. I built an army there and killed them and then boosted support in Syria.

Round five started with Ardashir joining his Sassanid brethren. Joe moved an army from Gallia to Italia and beat Martin. He now only needed one vote to be Emperor and he had 5B points to do it. But surely he didn’t need all five. How many should he use? Just one? Four? In the end he went for two dice, and all he had to do was avoid 1-1. He rolled. The first dice stopped rolling almost immediately on a one. Joe flinched and we held our breath as the second dice continued its journey across the table. Finally it came to rest: a three. Joe had done it! He became a Populace Emperor in Pannonia, cashing in on his level three support there.

Martin was voted into Joe’s Britannia, built an army in Asia, moved it into Galatia and tributed the lone Sassanid there. Then he killed the Sassanid before building an army in Britannia. Ian built an army in Africa and boosted support in Gallia and Hispania. I built an army in Syria and reinforced it before failing to get voted into Galatia.

In round six Joe sent a flood of five Sassanids with two (two!) barbarian leaders onto the board with his crisis roll. But did they go to Martin’s Galatia and Asia which were only defended by one wounded legion each? No, they went south, to my Syria and Ian’s Egypt that were both defended by two fully fit legions each. Foolish Sassanids. Meanwhile, Emperor Joe got voted into Gallia and put an army there. Martin healed his two wounded legions and bought a governor.

Ian (4R 9Y) now became a Pretender Emperor! His first ever! But then power went to his head as he realised he might actually be able to become real Emperor. He killed off the Sassanids in Egypt, used his Vulgus card to turn Joe’s Gallia neutral. Then just needed to get voted into Rome with his Pretorian guard. Unfortunately two ones among his dice meant he failed. It would’ve been a perfect plan. After all that excitement, I added a legion to my Syrian army and then foederatied a Sassanid into my ranks, in preparation for my big battle against two barbarian leaders next turn. And I got voted into Gallia where I boosted my support.

Round seven: Emperor Joe got voted into Gallia, beat the Franks that had been there since the start of the game, and then boosted support in Pannonia to an eye-watering fourth level, perfect for a populace emperor such as him: eight points for being emperor.

Martin went on the warpath. He foederatied a Sassinaid into his Galatian army and then sent it across the map into Italia to fight Joe. He had Flanking Manoeuvre and Force March cards in his hand so surely he had a chance. Alas, Joe was spoiling for a fight and rolled 6-6-6 in the first battle, and then 6-6-6-6-4 in the second. Despite being evenly matched, Martin was wiped out while Joe only lost one barbarian legion. “You utter bastard,” declared Martin while devising a new title for our current Emperor: Cuntus Maximus. Martin tried to get voted into Rome anyway, but failed.

Ian tributed the Nomads in Egypt after failing to kill them and then failed to get voted into Rome, needing 4 votes from 3 dice, rolling 3-1-1. I killed the two leaders in Syria and then got myself voted into Rome! However, Joe’s army and Ian’s pretender empire weakened me immediately and I only got four points for my troubles.

Scores so far: Joe 51, Martin 38, Ian 34, Andrew 28

The start of round eight saw Joe poised just nine points from victory and with ample resources to do it, too. I was worried about getting lapped. Joe rolled a Pax Deorum, which was a stroke of luck for all of us. Then Joe neutralised my Thracia with a Mobile Vulgus and got voted back into Rome. Of course he was a populace emperor in Pannonia for a cool eight point bonus. And he still had 6R points left! He killed Alammani in Pannonia and then reinforced in Italia and Gallia.

Martin, in his last turn, got voted into Rome but couldn’t unseat Ian in Africa to topple his pretender empire. Ian found some Nomads turning up in Egypt and killed them for points. Then did the same in Africa and then got voted into Rome with a very Ian roll: 2-2-1. The very least he could have rolled and succeeded. He became a populace emperor in Hispania and this turn saw him go from 34 points to 56 in one turn.

My turn was bound to be an anticlimax but was pretty fruitful all the same. My Syrian army, with the blood of fallen barbarian leaders still fresh on their faces, went to Hispania and killed Ian there with a Spiculum softening up Ian’s defences beforehand. Then I got voted into Hispania, turning the Emperor neutral on level one so it was a mere formality to become emperor right at the end.

Joe 74
Ian 62
Martin 55
Andrew 47

Another epic saga. Joe rode his luck (or, more exactly, our bad luck) and my last place was never in doubt, despite me being emperor twice. Ian’s second place was well deserved and, with a little more luck, things could’ve been very different. If he’d become Emperor in round six Joe’s victory would've been far less assured.

Then we ended with The Mind. Would we be able to get back in sync after hours of being at loggerheads? No, not really. We failed by round six or seven, constantly treading on each other’s mental toes. Notably, I should've guessed what one of cards was after Joe took a photo of his hand in round two. His first card was a 37 and if I'd stopped to think about it, I might have worked out that his other was 73 - which it was and which is why Joe thought it worth a photo.

Cheers for the evening everyone.

Magenta Devine Reflected in the Back of a Spoon

Despite his monthly Time of Crisis battle looming, Andrew was good enough to join me Friday night and bash out some two-player games on the spotty tablecloth of destiny.

First out of the blocks was Transatlantic. This is the game Mac Gerdts designed using his card system in Concordia but replacing the generic Mediterranean Trading theme with a marginally more specific Age of Steam vibe, as you manufacture steam ships from 1870 onwards (including the Titanic!) until the game ends with the arrival of the combustion engine ship (or something) around 1915.

Just like Concordia, you have a hand of cards to play and each played card is out of your reach until you play the specific card (the Director, in this case) that returns all previously-played cards to you. The cards are used to purchase ships, load them with coal, transport their freight (for cash and points!) and invest in various companies - these investments will define how much you score for your ships when they get too old to be competitive any more, and are bumped from the seas like yesterday's iron-riveted dreams...

We both preferred it to Concordia, because despite the underwhelming appearance - Concordia's ugly sibling, one might say - it plays faster and despite lots of interactive possibilities with ship-bumping and trade-house-building, doesn't stall with Concordia's potential for analysis paralysis. Not for two anyway. Andrew surged into a lead despite doing very little trade, instead focusing on building ships as often as possible and cashing in on his aged fleet when the opportunity arose. But as the game entered its final stages, he found his ships coalless and I sailed past him for a narrow-ish win:

Sam about 170
Andrew about 150

Next up was Wordsy, the rapid fire word game of thinking of words. Andrew again began the stronger as I snatched up the timer, thinking of the word fastest, only to have him outscore me and claim a bonus for doing so. But I came back into contention near the end and just about snatched a win.

goes too fast for photos

Then I introduced Andrew to the two-player delights of Kami. We tried this as a 2v2 a couple of weeks back and were underwhelmed, but the two player version is more engaging. Each player has eight cards and it's a race to be rid of them, scoring the points of your last-played card. Each turn has a defensive play - negating the attack of your opponent by playing a matching card - and an attacking one. With two players the sixteen spare cards become 'mercenaries' - at your disposal to use as defence or attack - the caveat being, of course, that doing so isn't making your hand any smaller.
Andrew took this one:

Andrew: Lord of the Spirit World
Sam: not

Before at Andrew's suggestion we broke out Knit Wit, which has no been played for many a moon. You create a venn diagram of overlapping loops, each representing a word. Inside the loops are spools - maybe in one loop, maybe in two or more.

Then you write a definition for each spool: for instance, a spool might be Electrical, Bitter and Curved or Narrow and Funny. I wasn't sure it would really work with two players, but it was hilarious. We played twice. I can't remember who won - I think it was me but only by dint of being faster. Andrew's definitions were funnier.

Sam: Knit?
Andrew: Wit

We'd drunk our fill of wine, delighted in padron peppers and stuffed our faces with cheap crisps, so it was time to say goodnight. Shortly after Andrew left though Sally arrived home, so we had a quick game of Wordsy too. A fine Friday night.

My other mage is a necromancer

Martin hosted and Joe, Adam H, Katy, Ian and myself guested in this week's games night. Joe and I were late and got there just as Katy lost a game of L.A.M.A. Deliberately so, she assured us, so that Joe and I wouldn't be standing around waiting. How clever of her especially since she managed to lose just as we were walking into the kitchen.

Adam 7
Martin 12
Ian 16
Katy 42

We began with a period of chat, during which, Adam and Katy kept the games torch burning by flicking coasters across the table at each other.

There were six of us and so a 3-3 split seemed sensible. Adam, Joe and Martin chose Res Arcana while, after some struggling with indecision and my implacable refusal to play Discworld, Ian, Katy and I went for Azul.

It was a ding dong battle in Azul between Ian and I, swapping the lead while Katy insisted she was bad at this game. I lead after round four but collapsed in the final round while Ian racked up a major score. A score he took several attempts to calculate properly. "It IS important," he insisted, refusing to be satisfied with a rough approximation of his convincing win.

Ian 66
Katy 52
Andrew 51

Over on Res Arcana, things were still ticking along after Adam was introduced to the rules. Joe announced his intention to "tap my horn of plenty" to childish giggles around the table.

We three tried a game of Divinare, the game of being a Victorian psychic (and which takes up more table space than I remembered). Ian, though, found his energy levels waning and he was unable to get much of a grip on the game. He always seemed to be in the right place just before he was forced to move somewhere wrong. Katy did better, getting the hang of it after the first round, once she knew the rules.

Katy 25
Andrew 20
Ian 3

Res Arcana had ended during Divinare and Joe had managed to finish the game just before Martin could do his mega move.

Joe 11
Adam 7
Martin 5

While explaining his winning strategy, which mostly involved tapping his horn of plenty, Joe uttered those words now adorning the blog title but which would also make an amusing car windscreen sticker.

They squeezed in a quick game of Ticket to Ride London and Joe had the unique opportunity to play a TtR game against two players who hoard cards. "I'll just shuffle the discard pile, shall I?" he said, picking up the few cards lying there, which had mostly been played by himself.

Martin 36
Joe 31
Adam 19

Now we were all together so a rousing game of Team Play was suggested to shake Ian from his torpor. The teams were Adam and Katy, Joe and me, Martin and Ian. J&A went into an early lead while Martin got stuck on his opening mission card (is that what they're called?) of a full house. Katy, likewise, couldn't clear her "pair of ones, pair of sevens" and was not pleased to see Adam use those cards to finish the communal mission card instead of passing them to her.

In fact, that was Adam's tactic, as he focused entirely on the communal cards and never finished the mission he was dealt at the start of the game.

Then Joe finished our eighth mission card by drawing a card blind from the deck. A bit of luck but expertly managed luck, I like to think. Ian and Martin's collection of high scoring missions threatened to unseat us from first, but it was not to be.

Joe and Andrew 26
Ian and Martin 23
Adam and Katy 20

Martin then pushed for Karate Tomate, while Katy pined after 6nimmt. Joe was keen to see if Push was any good with six, so we chose that.

The dice were brutal, and Ian, Joe and I all banked but this time fortune favoured the brave as the non-banking Martin took first place.

Martin 53
Joe 43
Adam 42
Ian 36
Andrew 34
Katy 32

Finally we played the oft suggested Karate Tomate. It was a bit of a damp squib with six. It only took two players to decide they wanted to pick up cards and everyone else would instantly get to pick up trophies. And knives. This made for some very short rounds and a sudden ending when Adam revealed he'd scored twelve trophies. Joe, Katy and myself had not picked up any knives at all,

Adam 12
Martin 8
Ian 5
Joe, Katy, Andrew 0

And then we were done. Time to head home with the heady thrill of victory still coursing through our veins. Thanks all.

Gods and Monsters

The planets were not so much aligned as divided Chukka Umunna style as the latest Tuesday-becomes-Thursday lost players at a rate of knots: no Katy or Joe, and Andrew and Adam T lost late in the day to fatigue and - a first for GNN - annual haircut.

So when 7.30 rolled around it was Martin, Ian, Stanley and myself sat at the table. First out of the blocks was LAMA: familiar to all but Stan. The newbie started badly when he lost the opening round, but with Martin and I also taking heavy losses, Stan recovered ground and went out in round four to return a chip and claim a narrow win:

Stan 12

Ian 14

Sam 30

Martin 41

We then took on the collaborative effort of foiling Belratti (Andrew explained the game here ) but, perhaps suffering from that lack of alignment, found ourselves repeatedly letting the forger through the door and it didn't take long for him to win:

Belratti : 6

Us: 9 (needed 15 to win)

With the lighter fare out of the way Stan went upstairs to read as Martin talked us through the rules of Gheos, the game that Andrew hated. Ian didn't hate it, but had said he'd play it again. So now he could! It was entirely new to me, and it's one of those rules-light decisions-heavy bamboozlers where almost everything you do has the potential to screw someone over, but doing so makes it more likely that they'll behave in kind. Players are Gods, placing tiles on an ever-growing landscape of islands and continents, and 'investing' in the tribes of these lands as they expand, encounter each other, and fail to get on. Everyone has three opportunities to score and Ian took his early, as the yellow tribe offered decent returns with a large continent that Martin and I were blocked out of.

After that, though, he fretted that he'd peaked too early. I fretted that I wouldn't peak at all, as Ian was now on 20-plus points, Martin 7 and I was stuck on zero. It's a hard game to get your head around the multitude of opportunities and each one's knock-on effects, and my habit to play conservatively in luck-pushing games (see: Incan Gold) meant I ended up with an almost identical set of followers to Martin, unable to catch him as a result because if either of us scored, we both scored the same amount. I needed to sabotage him somehow but I couldn't work out how.

Martin meanwhile, was busy sabotaging Ian, and Ian sabotaged right back as the largest continent kept rupturing and repairing itself. As it turned out, Ian had peaked too early, and I'd peaked too late:

Martin 91

Sam 77

Ian 66

"I'd play it again" said Ian, in the manner of someone imagining themselves imprisoned and not allowed in the exercise yard.

Next was Eggs of Ostrich. I confess I don't remember a huge amount about it because at this point - I blame Gheos - I was a bit drunk. I know none of my bags went bust, but none of them got filled either.

Martin 9 

Ian 7 

Sam 5

Ian went home at this point and Martin and I went to choose a game. To my surprise Martin suggested Brave Little Belgium, which I've played a lot recently solo: a 1-2 player endeavour of WWI where the Germans try to cross Belgium to reach France, and the Allies (the Entente) must stop them. We looked at the time, considered my familiarity with it, and dove in. However as we set up I realised how drunk I was as I started trying to explain the rules and couldn't remember any of them.

Luckily Martin's capacity to listen, read, and play all at the same time clarified things as I forgot to mention a couple of crucial points. Mostly though it is rather simple: chits are pulled from a bowl to see which army activates; choosing to sit pat or move. If it encounters an enemy, combat is automatically initiated, and either side can use previously-pulled Event chits that empower or hamper as appropriate: the Germans (me) can use Big Bertha to damage Belgian forts, and Zeppelins to aid in combat. The Entente can sabotage German movement. Either side can Force March troops to get them further down a particular path.

It's unsurprisingly combative from the get-go, with different armies having different strengths, and for the Entente very attritional: the Germans begin strongly and before the first round was over, the fort at Liege (one of three German objectives) was wiped out. The other German objectives are the turn the fort at Namur to dust, and get an infantry unit over the victory line and into France.

At one stage it looked like I might achieve neither, as Martin force-marched the French army of De Cary north to defend Namur, and managed to get in my way enough to prevent me reaching the victory line. I sent wave after wave of men to Namur and eventually beseiged it and overthrew the defenders in a bloody battle. But I still needed to reach the victory line and at this point the British had arrived and were getting in my shit. I headed north to avoid them and looked to be on the verge of victory with an assault on Ghent - only for the Entente to hold out against the odds. They did finally fall - but by this time it was the final round, by which time reaching my three objectives only represents a draw - just like real war, there's no winners.

Fun to revisit, if only to have the unfamiliar sensation of having Martin ask me advice. Feeling unqualified to give it was pretty familiar though. And that rounded off an unusually scarce, but enjoyable GNN night for another week.