Waldorf Bamboo

This Tuesday found four gamers pitched up around Martin's table for their weekly helping of convivial fun. Joining Martin were Ian, Joe and myself: the four Time Of Crisists. But there'd be no Roman intrigue today, instead we began with Montage. Had this game been designed in Japan it would have been called something like Let's Build A Crossword Puzzle! since that is, by and large what you're doing. Each coloured counter represents five letters and clues have to be devised that your partner can guess before both of your opponents can (being ready to guess is signified by knocking on the table).

It was Ian's first game and I'm not sure what he made of it as a lot of the clues revolved around dogs. "Not a dog," was used twice: once for "cat" and once by Ian himself for "feline" (although Joe's guess of "gerbil" also fitted the letters on the board and was funnier). And, Martin's dog-clue trilogy ran like so: A dog with a point. (Spike) Round a dog's neck. (Bandana) And then, just too late for the game but he shared it anyway: A dog's skintight disguise. (Catsuit)

As for the scores, Joe and Martin ran into a swift 3-0 lead before consolidating with a 4-0 victory.

Next up was Blue Lagoon, Knizia's feisty game of area control in a Pacific paradise. In both rounds, Martin managed to build around a piece of bamboo in the corner, effectively allowing him to choose when a round ended. This Walled-Off Bamboo strategy soon morphed into Waldorf Bamboo - a panda's favourite salad, apparently. Hence the blog title.

During the game, Martin sped into an early lead but at the end of round one had only three villages, all in corners. I had four villages, mostly quite central so although I was in third behind Ian, I felt pretty good about my situation. Ian, like Martin, scored big for items while Joe struggled to get started and trailed a distant last.

In round two Martin found it impossible to get anywhere. Being in the corners and having three opponents actively trying to stop him made life very difficult. He did try to sneak inconspicuously along the edge of the board to reach a distant item and Ian was happy to let him do it until he blocked Martin off at the very last minute. Both cruel and funny.

I went for area control and a smattering of items, but this paid off as I bossed the four of the largest islands for big points. Joe picked up four of a kind and a set to give his score some respectability while Ian chained islands together, stopping me from doing so in the process. It was close, but I was very pleased to get my first win on Blue Lagoon.

Andrew 149
Martin 143
Ian 140
Joe 117

Next up was Krass Kariert, a trick taker where the value of the tricks don't matter, just whether or not you can play a legal hand. Also, there are no winners, just one loser and in this game Ian was first to lose all his lives.

Martin and Andrew, both lives intact
Joe, one life lost
Ian no lives left

After that we played a game of Potato Man, the four player only trick-taker based around potatoes of all kinds: evil, super and sexy. In the first low scoring round we sneered at anyone winning a trick with the red suit, deriding their crusty red sacks. In round three, though, suddenly Ian won two gold sacks in a row in a display of masterly control. He had the last super potato man in his hand and so was able to use his evil potato men without fear. His lead after this was so great that we decided to forfeit the fourth round, giving Ian a comfortable win.

Ian 28
Martin 17
Joe 11
Andrew 11

Then we finished with the old favourite, The Mind. Is there another game which so regularly serves up more close shaves and agonising missed opportunities as this one?

Round one was tough (27 was the lowest card, followed by 31, 88 and 90) but we got through to round four before we lost our first life. Martin and I were at cross purposes over 35 and 36. Surprisingly, we got those numbers again in the next round, but this time got them down in the right order.

Joe became curiously fascinated by the way a bottle opener rested perfectly across a bowl. We respectfully listened to his theory that this might be a major breakthrough in bridge building and we tried to not worry.

He was still rock solid in the game, though, and we reached the Dark Mind with no shurikens but two lives. We lasted until round three before luck finally clipped our wings. But none of the mistakes had been huge and we felt pretty good about our achievement.

A fine way to end the evening. We set off home having all won a game and then joined our forces together for a rousing co op finale. Delightful.

Bring your own birthday

This Tuesday saw the leatherette fliptop diary of the modern world crammed with three vital appointments: The meaningful vote in the Commons on Brexit, the weekly GNN meeting and Ian's birthday. Ian celebrated his new orbit of the sun by wearing a dapper brown waistcoat and by promising to drink all his beers this evening.

We began as a six. Sam (hosting), Stanley, Martin, Joe, Ian and me. Steve was expected in around fifteen minutes. Our first game (after a brief attempt at a 'conversation') was Bring Your Own Book. This fun game involves everyone taking a book (luckily, Sam's house is full of them) and looking through them to find a phrase that would suit a theme drawn at random from a deck of cards. The winner of the round is the funniest. Like a genteel Cards Against Humanity, basically.

For example, the first criterion was "The Meaning of Life," which was ironic since Joe was using a Douglas Adams book. Martin (Streets of Loredo) said "wisdom came too late," but Ian (Among the Thugs) had "underpants full of dodge marks."

Sam's other son, Joe, joined us halfway through and, using a Charlie Brown book, he found the perfect response for A Name For A Cat: "stupid dog." Steve also came in halfway and did great things with a book about knots. We ended when it seemed like we were ready for something more substantial, with Ian getting a birthday win.

Ian 2
Sam, Andrew, Martin, Joe, Joe, Stanley, Steve 1

With one Joe departing for bed, the other Joe successfully corralled Steve and Sam into a game of Western Legends. Meanwhile, Martin, Ian, Stanley and I chose Blue Lagoon, another Knizia mind melter. The rules could hardly be simpler: place settlers and villages across a map to get resources, link islands and gain territory. But my brain is not built for such games and I scored fewer points in the whole game than Martin did in round one. Stanley, too, seemed to dawdle across the map and was kicking himself at the end when he misremembered that he had built a link to another island when, in fact, he hadn't. Martin's win came despite only placing three villages and Ian's last minute comeback wasn't enough to stop him.

Martin 169
Ian 161
Stanley 105
Andrew 94

Meanwhile in Darkrock, Sam was vocally regretting his career choice as an outlaw having lost three games of poker. Joe was the only law giver in the game, the role I had failed at last time. I seem to remember him heading off to the doctor to see him "about my hand size."

As for us, Stanley set off to bed and we remaining three went to peruse Sam's games wall. After spending a few minutes trying to find Ra, all of us convinced that Sam owned a copy, we chose Azul instead. Back in the kitchen, we were shocked to discover that Sam didn't have a copy of Ra, despite our conviction that he had. Clearly a glitch in the matrix.

Anyway, we sat down to play Azul. I started slow (one point in round one) but got stronger, with Martin predicting a win for me mid game. But either he spent too much time looking at my board, or I spent not enough time looking at Ian's, because he snuck past us both at the end for another birthday victory.

Ian 72
Martin 69
Andrew 65

But perhaps most amazingly was my phone's predictive text correctly guessing Martin's score in Azul.

By now there were signs that Sam's game was picking up, with Steve referring to him as Billy The Shit, after being on the receiving end of a hold up.

After Azul, we played Ticket To Ride New York. A sort of mini TtR that doesn't take up a whole evening. Trouble is, it's a bit too short. I misjudged when the game would end badly, failing on my big route while Martin successfully completed two of his.

Martin 38
Ian 27
Andrew 13

Then we played an odd little game called "Good Little Tricks." It's hard to describe without the game in front of you, but the basic premise is that as tricks are taken the cards played are laid out according to suit. If someone wins a trick that leads to all of the cards of a suit being on the table, then they take those cards. And cards are bad. However if you pick up all of the cards, then you actually score nothing and your opponents are lumbered with 27 points each.

I had little idea what was going on, despite my best efforts. Strangely, I was dealt the trump suit (just two cards, a 1 and a 2) all three times.

While I did badly in round one (a familiar pattern by now) falling into a 0-6-21 last place, I then managed to Shoot The Moon in the next two rounds, so it ended...

Andrew 21
Ian 54
Martin 60

Western legends had ended now. In fact, it had appeared to be in the closing stages for some time with Sam one point off the game ending 15 point mark, but unable to dig out one more legendary point to trigger the final round.

Instead it was Honest Joe who did that and then gained four legendary points visiting the "theatre" to seal a win.

Joe 25
Sam 21
Steve 19

Now we were all together we had a rousing game of Fuji Flush, the only game I have any kind of form in, despite it being pure luck. In the first game we began with 2, 2, 2, 3, 3. With the table poised so delicately, which team would Ian chose?

He chose neither, and put down his big swinging dick: a seven, clearing the table. But Martin also put down a seven, and then Joe too, calling it "a greasy twenty one" referring to how easily it would slip past. And he was right. It clearly set him off on the right foot.

Joe 0 cards left
Sam, Andrew, Steve, Martin 1 card left
Ian 2 cards left

Since it had been a very quick game of Fuji Flush, with people pushing through almost every round, we played again. This time my 50% success rate* was maintained as my final card, a 12, piggy backed onto Martin and Joe's 12s.

Andrew 0
Martin 1
Joe, Sam, Ian, Steve 2

Then Martin and Steve left but the others stayed for one more game to give Ian a chance to finish off the last of the three whisky miniatures he'd been given for his birthday (the three beers had been finished long ago). I was fortified by Sam reminding me about a bottle of Sake I'd left here before Christmas.

We played Love Letter. I did worry that Sam's aging, threadbare, much-loved copy might not have enough red cubes for four players, but it turns out there were just enough.

In round one, Sam won on Highest Card with only a Baron! Then in round two Ian asked if I was the King. I confidently said "no" but then checked out of habit. I did have the King after all.

But Sam could not be stopped after his audacious Baron win.

Sam 3
Joe 1
Ian 0
Andrew 0

And with that Ian and I gratefully accepted a lift from Joe. We were both quite drunk by now, as illustrated by Ian suddenly veering off towards the flower beds as he walked down the garden path. Happy birthday indeed.


* I should probably check this.

Knizia's Candy Coated Bloodbath

The last two weeks have seen no less than three gaming weekends (two on the same weekend), so I (Joe) wasn't expecting much gaming action this Tuesday. But in the event, four of us convened to keep the flame alive, as I was joined by Martin, then Andy M, and an hour later Ian.

At first it was just Martin and me - and we busted out a couple of games of Circle the Wagons. This is a current lunchtime favourite, and it usually plays out with Martin beating me - but last night bucked that trend, with me winning both games. I didn't take photos, but the second game was a proper pasting, I'm sure Martin won't mind me saying, due to my unerring accuracy with a six-shooter and many lined up beer bottles.

I had little time to bask in the glory of victory, as Andy arrived just as we finished up. We had 20 minutes to kill before Ian was due, and we quickly decided upon another firm favourite, The Mind.
It seemed it was going to be quite a toughie, as we lost a life in round one - but we soon hit our stride. We appeared to be playing a new variation called 'Sexy Mind', where you could augment your card placement with suggestive noises (often in the manner of Stephen Toast).

Whatever the reasoning behind it, it worked, as we rolled through the levels with relative swagger. Ian arrived somewhere around level 7, and got to witness a stonking level 10 - no hiccups and only  one star played.

Heading into level 10 in good shape

We battled on into the Dark Mind, or 'Dark, Sexy Mind' - like black velvet, Andy suggested. The fabric, and the drink. And the song by Alannah Miles? Had we considered that, and put it on in the background, it might have helped. As it was, we had a good couple of rounds but dropped our last life on level 3. Still, a pretty impressive performance. Ian was impressed.

Andy said he probably had one more game in him - and Martin was torn between Blue Lagoon, his new precious, and his even newer precious, a partnership trick-taker that could only be played with four. As Andy was only the second of four cans of Red Stripe we thought he might be cajoled into both, so we started with Blue Lagoon. 

Blue Lagoon, Andy (sans 'camera fingers') and Red Stripe.

My, what a beastly shit-fight! I've heard this billed as a great new gateway/family game, but it's really only fit for families who enjoy clawing each others eyes out. We all thought a sea of blood theme would be more fitting. 

During the first half, having mis-understood a scoring criteria (ahem), I found it a bit too much to handle. But I got my bearings after the first scoring round, and began to see some strategies. It seemed you could ignore the opportunities that weren't immediately threatened by an individual opponent - but as those built up, they risked being swamped by a combination of the other players. I enjoyed this room for emergent play and table-talk, as I co-erced Ian and Andrew into helping distract Martin (clearly on track for the win) so I could carry out my plans. The double-scoring nature of the game helps with this - whoever's in the lead after the first half is, it seems to me, fair game for a bit of coordinated bashing in the second half.

Despite my mid-game epiphany, I wasn't able to finish higher than third - but it was a fun if extremely scratchy (to use Andy's apposite phrase) game. I'd like to play again.

A charming-looking knife fight.

Martin 171

Andy M 152

Joe 150

Ian 117

Andy then surprised us all by sticking to his guns and leaving - paying his way out of the door by offering me his last Red Stripe. If it had been an either/or situation I feel sure I'd have picked the company over the booze, but I sensed steely resolve, so I gratefully drank his beer, and we remaining three tackled another new Knizia reboot - Amun Re the card game.

For the second time in one evening I forgot to take any pictures, but it wasn't much to look at. Still, it was a feisty little auction game, reportedly quite similar to it's big brother Amun Re. There were some shades of Ra in there, for sure, and a little hint of High Society in the restricted bidding cards. A little dry, perhaps, but undeniably blessed with the good Doctor's golden touch - I enjoyed it and would like to play again, despite coming a decisive last.

Martin 22

Ian 18

Joe 13

During the game, Martin suggested we'd need to play something riotous to finish, and as we packed it away, he added 'with dice-rolling' to the recipe. This trail of requirements lead us to the door of Can't Stop, which hasn't been played for too darn long.

Shiny, brittle plastic! But fun nevertheless...

It actually wasn't entirely riotous, as we found ourselves mostly quite able to stop. We all began cautiously - Ian most of all after he went bust on his first or second go. Martin and I were first to top out columns, and Ian struggled to catch up. Martin neglected to notice that I was poised to get my third column if I could manage to roll boxcars - if he'd realised it was probably his last chance he would have pushed his luck; but as it was I made my roll and won.

Joe 3

Martin 2

Ian 1

It wasn't quite the Can't Stop riot we were hoping for - still fun though. Perhaps the bruising beastliness of Blue Lagoon was too fresh in our minds; or perhaps it was the quite unpleasant brittle plastic of the board and bits. Whatever, it's still a deserving classic, and was nice to revisit.

With that we called proceedings to a close, and I waved Martin and Ian off into the night.

It was all lovely; even when it wasn't.

Fünf for all the Family

Tuesday rolled around again and despite the inevitable post-weekend (see Andrew's odysseyian previous post) drop in numbers from the regulars, the lesser-spotted GNNers were out in force, at one point bumping up the numbers to nine around my (Sam's) table!

First to arrive was Joe, and the embryonic hour of 6pm. Sadly he was just dropping off things I'd left at Novocon, so after a chat, he left again.

Then at the allotted hour of 7.30, Laura Izzard was first through the door, followed by Matt, Martin, and Ian. With Anja and Andy Mosse both running late, we cracked into our games. Or to clarify, Martin heaped disdain on me for buying another game (abetted by Stanley, and then even Ian joining in) before getting out the game he'd just bought. Whilst Stanley, Ian and Matt began contesting Love Letter at the other end of the table, he talked Laura and I through the rules.

The game in question was Blue Lagoon, Reiner Knizia's latest offering. Arriving into the eponymous lagoon as settlers, you discover there are eight islands, and over two rounds you score points for having a presence on each one, for making connections between them, for having majority presence and for collecting resources. If it sounds like rote gaming circa-2018 (or earlier) the implementation is very Knizian - on their turn, everyone simply places one piece on the board and watches in agony as all the things you want slip away from you. It's part race, part bunfight, part mental torture.

After one round, all pieces bar your five villages are removed, and a second round begins with placement having to spread from your villages. I won our first game (I didn't note down the scores) but I mentioned that now I knew how it all worked, I wouldn't win next time - which proved to be true.

Meanwhile Stanley had won Love Letter, after successfully outing Ian's hidden cards four times:

Stanley 3
Matt 2
Ian 0

And with Anja now present, they began explaining Heck Meck to her. At our end of the table, meanwhile, Andy had also arrived, and as Blue Lagoon was already on the table, we set it up again for four. Little Joe turned up to watch for a bit, as people briefly outnumbered seats.

With Martin now familiar with the games' overlapping scoring criteria, it was a tougher proposition. He scored the bonus for being on all eight islands in the first round, collected a big resource bonus and then in the second harvested up lots of statues. The game played quite staccato though; lots of rapid turns occasionally broken by a long, cognitive-heavy one. I'd say it was close, but it wasn't:

Martin 192
Laura 127
Sam 126
Andy 124

Martin was flush with new love for another Reinerssance masterpiece, and we all liked it, albeit it hurt my brain. I struggle judging the need to further your own advances (in multiple criteria) with the overlapping/competing need to stop others (also multiple criteria!) is hard. From one angle, it's very very simple, but from another - it's not.

Meanwhile Heck Meck was continuing, with Anja rolling a spectacular set of worms:

Laura made moves to go, but the three dads present showed their paternal understanding by harassing her into playing one more game - Face Cards, the game that needs almost no introduction - make pairs of faces, and hope somebody spots your pair in the melee. Andy took the win despite our failure to see his Coati/Parking Meter combination.

Andy 12
Martin 8
Sam 7
Laura 5

And I forgot to take photos. Laura bid her adieus and disappeared into the night - the next time we see her she'll be with (actual) child, so good luck Laura!

Stanley also disappeared around this time, off to bed, as Heck Meck finally concluded:

Matt 15
Stanley 8
Ian 5
Anja 1

As Ian brought in a collection of games to choose from, he tripped over Andy's growing pile of rubbish on the floor, which he announced he'd left there on purpose. He gazed at the mess with a glow of pride, before I tidied it away. Now a pair of trios. Ian found himself explaining Istanbul to one, whilst Martin explained Kingdoms, my birthday present to him (also a Knizia) to the other.

Kingdoms was not massively dissimilar to Blue Lagoon, only slightly simpler, and slightly screwier. Tiles are played on a 6x6 grid, and you can pick up and place a points tile (there are positive and negative) or place one of your castles, which will score for both the row and column it's on. As soon as someone places a castle, of course, everyone else tries to put negative tiles next to it.

Mix in the mountains (block rows and columns) the gold (doubles everything) and the dragon (cancels the good stuff) and you have a game brimming with evil - so evil that you start with fifty points, just to give everyone the opportunity to lose them all in the first round. Andy made a great start, but Martin overhauled him. I played badly and got what I deserved:

Martin 249
Andy 239
Sam 212

Fun. Whilst that was going on, Matt won Istabul:

Matt 5 gems
Ian and Anja 3 gems each (Ian second on tie-breaker)

And they'd also played NMBR9, which Anja didn't like at all. Ian did, though:

Ian 86
Matt 79
Anja 49

Considering how brief Kingdoms was, I've probably got the timeline of events all muddled up, but whatever had gone on previously, Anja certainly left at this point because we found ourselves a quintet, and began playing Five Cucumbers - or to give it it's German title, Fünf Gurken. Tricks are played (there's only one suit) and you must either match or beat the previous card, or lay your lowest card. The winner of the final trick picks up cucumbers, which are bad - collect five, and you lose the game.

The youngest player starts, but that took some time to establish, as Matt discovered he was younger than he realised, and Ian didn't even know what year we were living in. After that bombshell, Andy took an instant dislike to Fünf Gurken, openly scathing of the choice of vegetable and the fact there was only one. He critiqued the wooden cucumbers, which he claimed didn't resemble a cucumber - more on that later - and mimicked Martin and I throughout the game as we hissed at our cards. If it was a strategy, it paid dividends, as he ended with the fewest cucumbers. But unfortunately for Matt, we all won apart from him:

Matt: Five cucumbers.

or are they?

He actually ended with six cucumbers, which - by now we'd all conceded the cucumbers did have a scrotal quality to them - I said in a way, made him the winner. We speculated as to how much fun (or fünf ) one could have with six ball sacs; needlework, say, or artisan baking. Ian suggesting skiing. Martin and I got the giggles and I'm ashamed to say it was all rather immature. Especially considering we'd just played a game about not wanting five cucumbers.

Anyway, the witching hour was now upon us, so Martin and Ian put on their coats for the walk home. Andy said he wasn't going anywhere though, and Matt was tempted to stay as well, so we played Dice Heist - rob museums, collect artwork, gems and artifacts!

But owing to ancient heist-related traditions, only score paintings if you have the most combined value of them. Also if you have two gems, the second one is worth twice as much as the first! Matt and I celebrated our shared victory:

Matt and Sam - 27
Andy - 15

But we weren't done yet, with Ganz Schon Clever next to hit the table.

To be honest, I don't remember a huge amount about it now, except I recall Matt had to police my crossings off because I was pretty haphazard at this point and kept cheating. But I somehow managed to add up the scores correctly, to my surprise. We checked with a calculator.

Sam 236
Matt 228
Andy 200

With Tuesday now behind us and Wednesday begun, we bade each other good night, the end of a doozy of an evening: the return of Laura and Matt, some very feisty games, and a protracted schoolboy riff on dark green scrotums. What more can one ask of a Tuesday night?