Orbital Problems

A Saturday evening of games kicked off with Andrew and I watching the tail end of the FA Cup. Once upon a time the cup final would have felt like a seismic event to us, but in these days of country-financed football clubs and billionaire playthings, the sheen has worn off and rather than watch the post-match trophy-lifting and back-patting, we played Kingdomino. I forgot to take any photos, but Adam arrived as we hit the home straight and I took a reasonably convincing win. We set up Caldera Park and Ian arrived to join us, kicking off the night proper with a quartet of gamers, surrounded by washing. 

I don't actually remember who won Caldera Park. I think it was Andrew by a hair, as Ian fell foul of particularly bad weather and I of misplaced confidence. It was something like 

Andrew 183

Adam 182

Sam 135

Ian 120

There followed a flurry of game propositions where we finally alighted on Hansa Teutonica. And what an epic this was, as we serially irked each other via the medium of desk enhancements, like competitive IKEAing. 

Adam looked to be building a decent network as again Ian lagged. Andrew was stuck on two actions for long enough that I stopped worrying about him. A dreadful mistake, as misplaced confidence© once again bit me on the arse. Andrew's network plus his east-west connections sent him soaring to a convincing win. Ian staged a good recovery too, whilst Adam was probably over-targeted, his reputation preceding him:

Andrew 46

Sam 40

Ian 39

Adam 37

Great to play this again, I really think it merits more table-time on a Tuesday. But if we thought we had tamed Adam, oh boy did we have another think coming. After chips - which Adam charitably went to get - we set up Orbit: The International Space Race. This hasn't been seen in a while but the rules are hardly complex. What makes the game tricky is the constant planet movement and the forward-planning aspect that tacticians like Ian and dice-chucking fuckwits like me do not shine at. 

Perversely though, I got off to a good start. Whilst Adam complained that we were all doing his achievements, and thus depriving him of points, I pulled off all of mine and had some security and time to pick up missions. Weirdly, Adam was doing this too - despite having rockets that moved incredibly slowly, he seemed to spend a prodigious amount of turns picking up cards and making quietly and worryingly approving noises at them. Meantime my cards said things like Return from Neptune, Ride a Comet, or Make A Rocket From Twigs. Worse, Andrew and Ian started barreling up the track too, eating into my early lead, as Adam's murmurs of appreciation continued.

Suddenly Adam started scoring. While his rockets were still ponderous in the extreme, his planning department was pissing all over ours and in three turns he scored 21 points. I picked up another Mission card I couldn't do and then the game ended. Ian and Andrew had a couple of Missions each, I had about 6. Adam flipped over something in the region of 20, and most of them scored (when they don't score, they cost you points instead). 

Adam 62
Andrew 40
Sam 39
Ian 18

"I'm never playing this with you again!" I cried accusingly.
"That's what you said last time" said Adam. 

Andrew had to leave, and approaching 10pm, we'd been playing for five hours so the three of us wrapped up with So Clover. After a good start with Ian's clover (a six) things fell apart with mine and Adam's. I couldn't think of a clue for black/frame and ended up writing Van Gogh. One of Adam's clues was Trump, and Ian and I found numerous things that could have gone there, including capital/medusa. We were half-right. A paltry 12/18 in the end, and an underwhelming finale in points terms but, as always, a nice closer. 

Getting back into orbit

 I arrived at Sam’s to find Ian, Sam, Martin and Adam H having just finished their second game of Strike! This dice rolling arena game has been a firm favourite for the past few weeks, but I’ve yet to have a single game.

Joe also arrived shortly after me and, with all six expected participants, we began a game of Swat. This was new to Adam, and he was given a rules refresher. Five of us sat around with one hand face down on the table like a nervous seance while the sixth one dealt out the cards. When we were happy with what we’d seen, we’d slap the cardboard rectangle and make our claim. At one point me, Joe and Martin swatted just as a negative card was revealed and suddenly we were all very gentlemanly in our insistence that we can’t have been the quickest. I got zero in round one and never recovered. Joe was in the lead from round one and never looked back.

Joe 73

Martin 59

Ian 53

Adam 48

Sam 45

Andrew 31

Then Katy texted to say she’d be here at nine o’clock, which meant we had enough time for a game of So Clover. But what a vexatious game it was. After Joe went clear, we failed on Sam’s with a difficult decoy. Martin went clear despite using “formicarium” as a clue and then I failed miserably with a difficult clover, unwittingly two of my clues, “stink” and “fishy” overlapped, and on top of that a third clue “Pi” was a reference to Life of Pi (Circus/Raft) but only made sense if you’d got the other three clues first. Katy arrived mid-game and she was the first to mention the film. Ian and Adam also failed, despite Adam’s lovely clue of “Tarot” for “essence/forecast”.

24 out of 36

Then Katy arrived and we split into two groups. Ian, Adam and I went for Orbit while Martin, Joe, Sam and Katy played Gambler x Gamble! It seemed to go by very fast, with Joe reaching 14 coins in double quick time. Then the next time I looked, they were all in a position to come first, with Joe winning thanks to his instant win 4 gambler paying out.

Then they played Tiger & Dragon.

Martin 10

Joe 6

Katy 3

Sam 0

And Trendy

Sam 38

Katy 36

Joe 35

Martin 35

And finished off with three more games of Strike, with Katy, Joe and Martin winning one game each.

As for Orbit, I was Japan, Ian was China and Adam chose Russia (although he rejected their black pieces for his usual yellow). I was a bit rusty (like my spaceships, lol) on the rules but it was fine once we got going. 

As always, start with the planets in the astronomically correct place

I stayed entirely inside the asteroid belt for the whole game while Ian and Adam zipped around the solar system willy nilly. Adam quickly levelled up his feul and points statistics to great effect, while Ian slipped back to third after some drawing unlucky mission cards.

Adam 47

Andrew 23

Ian 21

And then, we were done. For once, with no work tomorrow, I stayed until the end. Orbit might have been a brave choice at nine in the evening, but I was in the mood for something more Euro-y so I was happy. Maybe one day I’ll play Strike.

Shear Heart Attack

On a mild February evening, I rang on Sam’s doorbell a couple of times and then, seeing that his son Stan was sitting down to watch Netflix, I knocked on the door and he let me in.

I walked into the kitchen to find Sam, Joe, Ian and Laura finishing a game of So Clover. There then followed a discussion about what to play with five, when Laura decided she wanted to play Orbit. We were setting up when Adam H called, saying his prior appointment had been cancelled and could he join. We said yes and, deciding that six-player Orbit would be too long, split into two groups. Laura, Sam and Ian continued to recreate the space race while Joe and I set up Sheepy Time in expectation of Adam’s imminent arrival.

Both groups started perilously. Ian said he’d regretted his decision, even after his first turn. We in Sheepy land discovered that the last people to play the game hadn’t separated the nightmare cards from the pack. We spent almost a minute getting the cards in order. How upsetting.

The game itself was very tense. Joe decided his strategy was to get scared as soon as possible in order to exploit some scared-reliant tiles for points. In round two he placed his sheep firmly in front of the nightmare and waited impatiently for it to move and scare him. My strategy was to pile up Zees on one tile which, if I landed on it, I could cash in for two points each. I triggered this bonus and put myself in a winning position. All I had to do was pass the fence and I had exactly the card to do it. Alas, now was the time when the nightmare hitched up its skirts and sped around the track, jumping the fence and waking us all up. My point-scoring zees were all gone and I was not confident of a win.

In the next round Joe passed his pillow by a decent ten-point margin and ended his game. Adam and I had to keep going and I was pleased with my final score of thirteen points past my pillow, but Adam won decisively. Despite having a pillow furthest along, he used a series of tiles to spin him around the track several times, ending up as the eventual winner.

Adam 15 spaces past his pillow

Andrew 13

Joe 10

At this moment, with uncanny synchronicity, Orbit was also finishing. Whatever Ian’s initial doubts were, they must have been overcome as he won a close game.

Ian 26 + tiebreaker

Laura 26

Sam 23

There was then a pretty extensive conversation about being sick while Ian and Sam perused the games wall. Since Laura had decided to go home, they were looking for a five-player option, and they selected Texas Showdown.

And what game it is. Each hand rich with betrayal and self-destruction, almost in equal measure. Adam was faced with a choice of making Sam take the trick or Joe and both of them had played the highest card in the hand, meaning they'd chose who would lead next. Adam said that since Sam would probably chose him to lead, then he’d make Joe pick up the trick. Unimpressed, Joe immediately nominated Adam to lead the next hand anyway.

Sam and Ian started with clear rounds and Ian was last to pick up any trick at all, and he did so with a bemused “what’s going on?” It was close and we entered round four with Joe leading 6, 7, 7, 8, 8. It’s a shame that you don’t get points for accurately evaluating your hand, because Sam perfectly predicted his own downfall. Joe, meanwhile, went clear just when it mattered.

Joe 6

Ian 7

Andrew 10

Adam 11

Sam 13

And with that, I left. The others stayed for a round or two of So Clover, scoring 12 and 14.

Thanks all, see you next Tuesday.

When Alcatraz escaped from me

Seven gamers, one table, countless craft ales. It was Tuesday night at Joe's and he was joined by Adam H, Sam, Martin, Ian, Katy and me. We began with a big communal game of Just One, this time with a twist - a bonus point if the guesser can guess what (if any) clues got rejected through duplication. Adam successfully did it when he worked out that the rejected clues for "bar" were "cheers".

I feel we should apologise for the clues in Sam's first round, which expected him to deduce "market" from a disparate bunch, including words like "Marrakesh", "bear", "dominion" and "albion." I should also apologise for blurting out the word as I tried to cajole Adam into writing something. "Come on, it's Alcatraz!" I exclaimed in frustration. Oops.

Finally, hats off to Katy for perhaps the least helpful clue possible. She tried to guide Adam towards the word "guard" with the clue "the". Apparently The Guard is the name of a film.

We scored 11, including the bonus point.

Then we split into two groups. Katy had brought her new purchase (from Sam) Hit Z Road and Joe, Ian and Martin were happy to join her. Adam, Sam and I chose Orbit. We set up using a genuine (I suppose. No way I could've checked it) map of the solar system at that moment, and we were off. It had been a while since we last played so I was glad of the player aid. Sam forgot to hand one to Ian, perhaps under the assumption that if he did, then Adam would win.

Most frustrating were the frequent occasions when Earth was in entirely the wrong part of the board for launching to any planet. Frustrating because I couldn't blame anyone's random set-up for this. Except maybe God.

Sam sped into an early lead while Adam languished in a distant last. We still thought he'd win, though. After all, he was India which was the space agency he had said he preferred. But Sam would not be caught. He picked up mission cards several times and when the final tally was counted, he laid out one successful mission after another for a fine victory.

Sam 50
Andrew 31 (wins tie breaker)
Adam 31

In Hit Z Road, it was its usual entertaining self and I actually made more notes for that game than for the one I was playing. The craziness began with Katy saying the game was a co-op, which wasn't a universally accepted opinion. Then the bidding went crazy cakes in the first round, with Martin putting in a full bid of ten for the right to go first.

At the end of round two Joe had to face off against some zombies. His two survivors against their six undead. Amazingly, he did it. Alas, neither he nor Martin make it to the end of the third round. Ian and Katy do, although they had no resources at all. They did have lots of survivors though and both made it through to the end, Ian had five survivors and Katy, who at one point had seven in her gang, ended with three.

Ian 19
Katy 7
Joe and Martin dead

Then they filled the time with a game of L. A. M. A. And it ended with a clean sweep for Ian.

Ian 0
Katy 27
Martin 33
Joe 50

At this point Ian left for home and the remaining six of us joined together for two more games. First was For Sale. After the bidding round, Sam declared he had a “right dog shit pile of cards,” although it can’t have been that bad. I got stung with a zero cheque having played a 17 card in that round.

Adam 60
Sam 46
Andrew 44
Katy 39
Joe 39
Martin 35

Finally we ended with 6nimmt, about which Katy said “usually I do well at this game.” But not this time and after round three she was in last. Luckily (for her, that is) I fell into a massive death spiral which lead to me picking up 42 points in round four and dropping from second place to last, crashing through the 66 point barrier and ending the game. Martin won by miles.

Martin 22
Adam 50
Joe 51
Sam 53
Jaty 64
Andrew 71

And that was it. Thanks for the evening, everyone. See you all soon!

When you don't know your Mars from Uranus

Friday, and after a month pretty much out the GNN loop I (Sam) was looking to squeeze in a game or two, despite tonight's Time Of Crisis looming. Luckily for me, Chris and Adam were also keen, and after some debate over which space-themed game we'd play (Quantum and Sol were also under consideration) we settled on Orbit: The International Space Race. Three space agencies - Japan, USA and Russia, head for the stars to try and claim achievements of fly-bys, orbits, landings, and even the hard-to-do return to Earth. It was new to Chris, but the rules are pretty surmountable.

What wasn't surmountable - for me, as the CCCP - was distinguishing Jupiter from Venus, and I set off into the outer solar system towards one thinking I would reach the other. Adam and Chris graciously allowed me a do-over, but the Russians struggled for the rest of the game, unable to shake off their status as laughing stock of the international astronomy community.

Chris left Earth and headed for Mars, only to find by the time he reached it Earth had appeared again and Japan (Adam) launched to reach Mars before him. "Sorry" said Adam, but he didn't sound sorry.

I, as the Russians, found myself lagging and so picked up Mission cards. All of them pointed to doing things with the inner planets, something Adam was already busy with. "Adam, you're doing all my achievements!" I wailed. "Sorry" said Adam.

Meanwhile Chris as the firmament-newbie was actually playing a rather canny game. I realised when I was giving him some advice that I was probably, having mistaken Jupiter for Venus,  not qualified to help and left him to it. I think Adam gave a couple of pointers, but Chris ran away with the game and it was mostly his own work. I spent most of the time focused on an 11 point mission card, and realised three turns from the end I'd need an extra turn to complete it. Bah!

Chris 41
Adam 28
Sam 18

I do love Orbit. Even when it goes wrong.

Next up, after some discussion, was Villagers. Here everyone is drafting and 'building' their own village, with the eponymous villagers represented by cards; the catch being that, just like life, craftspeople need materials to craft with, so you can't have a cooper without a carpenter, or a glassblower without a miner. Stan has repeatedly rinsed me at this, but at least those experiences stood me in good stead here, as Chris and Adam were both new to it.

something like
Sam 61
Adam 51
Chris 50

Both seemed to like it and I think it may be seen again.

We ended our trio of trios with a couple of cracks at NMBR9. I can't remember what happened now, but I think Chris won the second game, and Adam said he had finished second in every game of the evening.

Adam left for home with the clock chiming eleven, but Chris and I had one last game in us, which was Yokai. This is part-memory, part-Mind as you co-operatively try and move four randomly-dealt 'tribes' of face-down cards to orthogonal adjacence in a 4x4 grid: every turn you can look at two cards, you must move one card (any card, it doesn't have to be what you looked at) and then either place a clue card on top of a tribe card (hinting at its colour) or flip a new clue card.

The clue cards though mostly tell you what colour the tribe card underneath it isn't, rather than what it is, so you need to watch your fellow player/s carefully and remember what you've seen. Run out of clues and the game ends - or you can declare earlier if you think you've achieved a victory.

It's quite easy to get wrong but we ended the night on a triumphant victory. I didn't take photos, but here's me and Little Joe playing it in France...

And with that, we were done! Thanks chaps. 

Too many rules

Is it even possible to have too many rules? We at GNN gave it our best shot this Tuesday at Sam's with a couple of AP-inducing semi-epics. Adam T, Adam H, Martin, Ian and myself joined our host around his kitchen table for our first Tuesday evening together in a few weeks. Martin, Sam and Adam T chose Pax Pamir while the rest of us chose Orbit.

In Pax Pamir, the game recreates an Afghanistan riven by divisions and subterfuge caused by the British and Russian forces. Sam had recently bought the second edition, with its charming textile map and large tactile pieces. There was a bit of setting up and rule learning/refreshing to be done and it all looked very complicated.

Not like Orbit, the game that we insist is like Ticket to Ride in space except it isn't really, which is far simpler. In terms of rules, that is. This time we avoided the familiar and newbie-friendly space agencies of NASA or ESA and set ourselves a real challenge. Adam was India (no feul) and I chose Japan (no points) while Ian had the Soviets. Then we put the planets in their astronomically correct positions and we were off. I was a little rusty, but Adam kept things moving. We needed a pause or two to check the rules. I forgot that on returning to Earth, a ship goes back to the docks, and Adam questioned my move of landing on a planet with a different rocket to the one that put me into orbit. It was a challenging game. Ian had only one feul for the whole game since it would've taken so long to put it up to two that he always had something better to do with his turn. This became a real weight around his neck in the latter stages of the game.

Adam looked smart in his three-feul three-speed ships and our only hope was that he'd pick up unfortunate mission cards. I got lucky with mine, getting two cards that I'd already done to offset the one that I couldn't. Ian kept reaching for cards like a madman who'd recently come to regret his lack of investment in fuel.

Adam 49 (including +15 in mission cards)
Andrew 24 (including +1)
Ian 23 (including - 9)

Pax Pamir was still in full swing. If "full swing" is the right way to describe a game in which no one scored any points at all in the first hour. After two hours, Martin had fallen behind 3-3-0 but then a costly mis-step from Sam gave him the win. I don't know what the details were but suddenly he had ten points and they were packing up saying how much they'd enjoyed it.

Martin 10
Sam 3
Adam T 3

In the space between end of Orbit and end of Pax, we three had a few jolly rounds of Love Letter to fill the time until Ian had to go and get a bus.

Andrew 2
Adam H 1
Ian 0

At this point, Adam T also left and the remaining four of us played Two Many Cooks or, as Adam dubbed it, Too Many Rules. After our collective brains had been frazzled by two heavy games, we found ourselves struggling with some of the finer nuances. Such as having to follow suit, except when you don't have to. And how some zero cards are actually tens unless you play them first in which case they are zeroes.

But we battled through yet another trick taker with a twist. Adam said it was all random and then Martin wins, which I think is possibly a game category on Board Game Geek. It was fun. No Texas Showdown, but fun. And Martin didn't win.

Sam 26
Andrew 22
Martin 21
Adam 16

And with that, the evening was over. Only four games played. Whatever happened to our stamina? Our verve? Our giddy reckless stumbling through one game after another? Nevertheless, a good evening and I'd like to get another game of Orbit in soon: I was surprised how rusty I was at it.  Thanks to all. Let's do this again soon.

Yoko splits the band

Tuesday! You know what that means. But with no Andrew and no Martin, who would provide the acerbic commentary and euro-related disdain? As it happens, Katy stepped up to do both.

Hannah was our initial host, with Adam upstairs trying to lull Arthur to sleep. Joining her at the table were Adam T, Ian, Katy, Joe and myself. Before we knew what was happening we'd been talking for a full five minutes and realised we should probably play a game. Owing in part to Hannah's recent experience with five-player Root, Just One was chosen. I didn't take many pictures, but I recall three people clueing Girls for calendar, but Ian getting it anyway thanks to Gregorian and Advent. Everyone was thrown by Katy's clue for glasses (Hearing Aids) but again, no damage was done. In fact two turns later Joe clued "Hearing Aid (singular)" for glass. Strictly speaking that's three words, but we weren't counting. Except for our points - we ended on a shabby 8 ("average") when I encouraged Joe to guess on his final turn and he got it wrong. "I should be good at this game" he ruminated. "I like words"

With Arthur still circulating somewhere above us, Adam and Hannah swapped over and a debate broke out over Yokohama, which Katy asserted was her favourite game ever, but didn't want to play it because of the time it took. Joe and Adam T were keen, though, and eventually she was reluctantly persuaded, prophesising a late finish as she sat down. Joe said they'd be done by half ten and started explaining the rules to Adam T.

On the other table, our little band turned our faces to the stars. I talked Ian (NASA) through the rules to Orbit as we (I was Russia) prepared for our imminent defeat to Adam H (China). While I was concerned with the movement of the planets, Adam - perhaps inhabiting his China role a little seriously - became distracted by the feng shui of the room, eventually getting the denizens of Yokohama to rotate their table 180 degrees for the better to see Adam T's face with.

Back on our board, I made an error right at the start, calculating that I couldn't realise my Pioneer card (flyby of Mercury) as both Adam and Ian had already set off toward it. However my calculations were incorrect, as when Mercury came around I was the starting player and could have grabbed an early three points and an upgrade. That would come back to haunt me - much as failures at basic maths would haunt a real rocket scientist, I like to think.

Adam completely ignored point-scoring early on, focusing on getting his fuel, speed and build capacities up while Ian and I pottered around getting single points here and there and establishing a lead that looked, to us, disturbingly surmountable. I picked up Missions. So did Adam. So, eventually, did Ian. He looked at the cards like they had just shat in his astronaut suit.

On the other table, things had started moving around the city about a quarter-way through our game, but they were now picking up speed. Katy moved pieces around with the confidence of someone who was playing their favourite game, and expected to win it. At this point, everyone seemed happy.

Except back on the Orbit board Adam was, as we anticipated, moving up through the gears. He was even picking up more missions and not making any annoyed noises about them, which was doubly concerning. Ian said he was losing anyway, so picking up more missions couldn't hurt. But it did. When I took the same risk, the only plausible (I thought) mission was landing on the inner planets, but as it turned out I needed one more round to get to Venus, and when we counted up the 3 point failure was critical:

Adam 44
Sam 42
Ian 27

Yokohama was still going strong, so we had a quick game of Flotsam Fight. It's a very Oinky Oink game: a numbers-propelled mechanic enabling plenty of oh shit moments and paltry scoring of 2pts, 1pt,  and -1pt for first, second and third. The story is you are entitled rich folk loading your trinkets onto a series of lifeboats as the ship sinks - seems kinda topical - and the person who loads all of their goods first wins the round. In a bizarrely surreal twist, however, each lifeboat - there are eight - can only carry certain goods, and may brusquely refuse your Persian rug to keep space for someone else's Ming vase.

It's weird. We couldn't figure out exactly how much control there was, reminding me of my first couple of plays of Maskmen. "But Maskmen is better" Ian pointed out. I don't know; I do think Flotsam Fight is less random than it first appears, and that suspicion is backed up by the fact Adam came back from second place to win on the final round...

Adam 4
Sam 3
Ian -1

As we packed that away to mutterings of various moods, Yokohama finished only a little way past Joe's predicted end time with Katy upset that she hadn't won. "They cock-blocked me - twice!" she cried, and rejected suggestions she might have enjoyed playing anyway with a firm "No." Are her euro-playing days done? Joe seemed happy, and I think Adam was enamoured enough to try it again... but when? Yokohama has a habit of disappearing for a year at a time, so who knows. We didn't note down the scores, but it was a triumph for Joe, who later added happily "I didn't even get the rules sweats". That's some Yokohama-ing.

Joe
Adam
Katy

Ian and I were getting drowsy and Adam has a five-year-old, so with 11pm looming we called it a night. There was just enough time for Joe's smutty riff on Caylus - the game your wife won't play with you - on the way home to endanger our lives as I nearly lost control of the car. Fortunately, we live to play again!

Shouting "llama, llama, llama"

Our weekly games night arrived through the cold June drizzle at Sam's house. It began with Sam, Martin, Ian and Adam T playing L.A.M.A. for a couple of rounds until Katy and I arrived ten minutes late. The game was reset and all six were dealt in but before we could play a single card, Joe arrived.

We split into two groups and played two new (to GNN) games. Martin persuaded myself, Katy and Ian to try Situation 4, a team-based, simultaneous play jigsaw war game from the sixties.

Joe, Sam and Adam T played Xanadu. I know little about it except for someone saying something about tea. Adam T's post game summary of "Honestly, sometimes it's fun" didn't inspire confidence.

Adam T 41
Sam 33
Joe 29

If a jigsaw war game free-for-all sounds like crazy knockabout fun, then prepare to have your assumptions overturned. There's a strange frustration in not being able to find the right piece you need in ordinary jigsaws and this is doubled by the presence of other people trying to find the same piece.

This is war

It was fast moving in my head but often slow moving on the board, as certain pieces eluded everyone at times. It was so new and unfamiliar that we didn't deploy our tanks efficiently, and didn't deploy our paratroopers at all. Perhaps it was only right that it ended in a draw because, as Ian pointed out, there are no winners in war.

Brown land with orange pieces, me and Martin, Green with yellow pieces were Katy and Ian.

Martin and Andrew 1250
Ian and Katy 1250

Adam H arrived at this point and joined us to make a cosy fivesome at one end of the table. We got out Beowulf, the fun game of Viking epic poetry. It was Adam H's first go, but the rules are pretty straightforward. We set forth on our journey, spending a lot of time with Sea Hags, and enjoying Katy and Martin's bad luck. Adam, though, kept winning auctions and before long, he looked like the one to beat. Adam didn't seem to be enjoying it, though, and when he saw that Xanadu had been replaced by Orbit, he asked if he could swap games. I'm sure he only said that to shock us.

Beowulf in the near distance, Xanadu in the far.

Katy kept picking up wounds and Ian used his special cards to good effect. I was very good at being the starting player on rounds where we get to choose new cards, but that didn't help much. Adam remained bemused: "I don't know what I'm doing," he insisted. You're winning, Adam. You should recognise it by now.

Adam H 24
Martin 19
Ian 18
Andrew 12
Katy 7

Orbit was still unfinished and Ian was looking pensively at his watch, so we had another game of L.A.M.A. Once again, Adam H won while Ian ended the game on purpose so he could go and catch his bus, but not before he spouted the line that became this blog post's title. Thanks Ian.

Adam H 6
Katy 19
Martin 24
Andrew 25
Ian 42

Orbit had ended too. There must have been a fair amount of AP since I remember Sam asking "would it help if I move the planets now?"

Sam 41
Adam T 35
Joe 24

While they were just finishing up, the other four of us played a single round of Kariba.

Martin 17
Katy 13
Andrew 11
Adam 10

Now Adam T bade his farewells and left us to our final two games. First was Zogen, a Dobble-esque game of playing similar cards and calling out the name of the item that has changed. Its a crazy game of lightning reactions and I stopped playing halfway through, not finding it much fun. Martin had an early lead but was challenged on an illegal move and had to pick up all his cards again. He started to steam-roll his way back into contention, but too late since Sam put down his final card.

After this, showing little concern for the late hour, we played Just One. We started brilliantly, and started to believe that this was the time: a clear round. But duplicates crept in and when I was left to guess "Cinderella" with only "charming" as a clue (I guessed "Prince") our dreams were sunk.

And so, having failed to crack the Just One code, we set off in the night in Joe's car. Thanks for the lift, Joe and thanks to all for the fun.

I had a funny title, but I didn’t write it down

This week's games night was staged around Joe's kitchen table with Joe, Sam, Martin, Adam, Katy and me seated expectantly around it.

Our first game (after an unsuccessful attempt at a conversation to keep us occupied until Katy arrived) was L. A. M. A. A clever card game, not dissimilar to what The Mind might become should it get shitfaced and go out looking for trouble. Like the aforementioned genial co-op game, L.A.M.A involves putting cards down in steadily increasing values (one to six and then the llama card resets things back to one). But this time, there is a real delight in screwing over your opponents. Holding on to a card of a value that has otherwise been exhausted causes wails of anguish from your opponents as they have to pick up card after card, stuck behind the logjam you created. It was a lot of fun.

Katy 11
Adam 12
Sam 14
Joe 29
Martin 30
Andrew 41

The group split into two at this point. Adam, Sam and I played Orbit, the new slightly sol-esque game of space exploration. Basically, we send our three ships to fly-by, orbit, land and/or return from the eight planets while they slowly move around the circular board.

Sam got into an early lead with a quickly accomplished Pioneer card getting him three points. Adam managed to fly-by Jupiter and Saturn at the same time! As the game went on, Adam moved further and further into the lead such that Sam and I were reduced to picking up Mission Cards, hoping that it'd work like Ticket To Ride and give you a set of criteria that you've already achieved. Turns out it doesn't work that way at all.

Adam 31
Andrew 18
Sam 13

We all enjoyed it and we were confident that Ian and Other Adam would like it too. Then we speculated about the players sitting across the table from us. Right in front of them. Joe, probably, but as for the others... Who knows what floats their boat?

They didn't respond to our musings (that I recall) since they were still finishing the second of the two games they'd played.

The first was Res Arcana, a game I haven't played simply because it would be too embarrassing. The names of the different cards are so absurd they must be deliberate parody. And while Martin sounded suitably portentous when he told them he was destroying his Corrupt Altar, when Joe said he'd got a Hypnotic Basin he sounded more like a disappointed ebay customer. Nevertheless, Joe grabbed first placed thanks to some clever tactics that generated lots of gold that everyone seemed impressed by but I didn't understand it at all.

Joe 13
Martin 11
Katy 8

After this, they banged out a three handed game of L.A.M.A. with Joe victorious again.

Joe 16
Martin 20
Katy 41

Now we were all together again and Martin floated the idea of Decrypto. Adam wasn't keen but when we found out that Katy hadn't played, our decision was set. Decrypto it was. Martin, Katy and I faced Sam, Adam and Joe.

It went to the seventh round and that makes it sound very close but in retrospect, Team M.K.A. were struggling. Thanks to one word, Barracks (spelt without a 'c' on the card) which caused us no end of trouble. Both me and Katy gavs clues for it that equally applied to another word we had: Sword. I put "wooden" for Barracks because they are but Martin and Katy immediately focused on "wooden sword". Miscommunication one. Then Katy used "fence" for Barracks (because they have fences) but Martin and I were convinced by the sword/fencing link. Miscommunication two and defeat.

But that's not to take anything away from team S.J.A. (I forgot to note the actual team names) who cleverly gave a clue to a word that we knew we'd deciphered, but we failed to see the connection. The word was "wedding" and the clue was "Idol" which kind of linked to our suspicion that they also had "heaven" as a word so we chose that instead. But, of course the link was Billy Idol - White Wedding. Well done Joe for fooling us so late in the game.

Joe, Sam, Adam: James Bond
Katy, Martin, Andrew: James Bay

Finally, in a frisky mood, we played Dead Man's Chest. And what a game it was. Joe, in his pomp after two victories, made short work of Martin with some audacious bids that Martin failed to read, including a bid of 2-2 when he'd rolled 5-2

But his run of form couldn't unsettle Katy who saw through Joe's bids and he was out next. I followed thanks to Katy rolling Dead Man. Sam went out to Adam, leaving the final two: Katy versus Adam. Adam won the first round, bringing the score to one life left for each. But then Katy rolled Dead Man again, and Adam could only challenge. No hope.

Katy wins!
Adam
Sam
Andrew
Joe
Martin

And we were done for the night. A sterling night's entertainment, with a promising newcomer (Orbit) and a game we wondered why we don’t play every week (DMC). Thanks to Joe and to all who attended. It was special.