Lexicon of Laughs

 Joe was this week’s host and I arrived at his place at 7.30 with Katy following shortly afterwards and Joe and Sam were already there, idly kicking around a game of League of the Lexicon. Adam T arrived soon after too. The game is like Trivial Pursuit but without the board and all the questions are about words. Maybe there are rules involved, but we just rolled a dice and tried to answer a question like “what’s the literal meaning of umbrella.”

Then Martin and Adam H came in, with Steve somewhere outside looking for a parking space. He’d get here after another ten minutes.

We kicked off the evening with Phantom Ink, the supernatural game of communing with the dead (in this case, Katy and Sam) and trying to deduce a word using obscure questions and unfinished answers. We split into teams. Katy was with Martin, Adam T and Steve while Sam was with Adam H, Joe and me.

We  asked questions like “What would happen if you ate it” and Sam wrote down “D” and said the letter outloud, as per the rules, but I think he said “D” with such finality that we were able to guess he was going to write “die” (which is was). The word in question was Mountain (which would certainly kill you if you ate it) which Adam H, Joe and I got on our second guess. The other team were leaning towards “Tent” - something to do with there being a tent in the film Brokeback Mountain.

Then we split into two groups of eight.

Adam T, Martin, Katy and Sam played Maskmen. As they went into the penultimate round, there was a possibility of everyone ending on 2 points, but instead the tie was between three people and Katy was left grasping at straws by asking if tied scores maybe cancelled each other out.

Adam T 3 (wins with most +2 tokens)

Martin 3

Sam 3

Katy -1

Then they played Accuse! which Adam T won and then Misfits with it’s by now gravity defying constructions astonishing everyone. And Adam T won that game as well.

During these three games, Adam H, Joe, Steve and myself had been playing Pass Pass, a trick-taking game that encourages loose informal alliances because players who came first and second in a hand get to pick up cards. Cards are points (and so are diamonds on those cards) but most importantly, if a player picks up at least one of each colour then that is a Pass Pass, and three Pass Passes means you instantly win.

Steve was distracted by phone calls from his son and also kept playing his cards on top of previously played cards, as if he were playing snap, and we had to keep separating them.

Joe was closest to getting his third pass pass but just fell short.

Andrew 34

Steve 32

Joe 28

Adam H 19

At the end of Pass Pass we watched the end of Misfits ...

... and then we all reorganised into new groups. Sam, Adam T, Joe and Steve played Robot Quest Arena while Adam H, Martin and I chose Havalandia. But first we squeezed in a game of Trio with Katy before she went off home for an early night. 

We played as teams and Adam H and I won. I forgot to take a photo until it was over…

Once Katy had gone, we three played Havalandia. I had the rare pleasure of blocking Martin so he couldn’t make his super high scoring launch, but honestly, it turned out that Martin was the least of my troubles. Mid-game, Martin said we should never let him have a corner to himself, and so it turned out to be.

Adam H 105

Andrew 83
Martin 81

RQA sounded like fun. Joe bought some advanced AI but then later he simply attacked Sam with a hammer. Adam T must have had a lot of power-ups because he apologised that his turns took twice as long as everyone else.

Sam 24

Adam T 20

Joe 19

Steve 18

Then Adams T and H and Steve left. Because I had the day off work tomorrow, I was able to stay until the end.

We tried Stinker. Always fun and offensive, but somehow not as much fun with fewer players.

Sam 3

Martin 2

Joe 1

Andrew 1

Finally we played So Clover twice. We scored 22/24, just falling short of perfection due to Joe’s clever clue being too clever. He wrote Gazpacho, which we struggled with. It was not helped with “diet” and “tomato” both being on cards but we should have been looking for “revenge”. Because, as Joe later explained, they are both best served cold.

In the second game we got a perfect score. Again, Joe’s was last to be served and he had another classic clue: he wrote “asswipe” for tail/soap. Poetic.

See you all next week.

Glass is blue

 Joe’s kitchen was the happy venue for this week’s gamers and we began as a five: Joe, Ian, Laura, Adam H and myself. A bowl of unsalted peanuts sat in front of Adam until he asked them to be taken away.

The first game was a new one: The Numbers. It’s a very simple game where you have to write a three-digit number. Then they are arranged in order of value, highest at the top, and starting at the top numbers are eliminated if they use any digits that appear in the numbers below. Any remaining numbers score according to their leftmost digits. 

But then, those players who successfully score have to cross off the numbers they used on their player mat and those numbers can’t be used again.

The rules were simple, but the strategy wasn’t. Adam wrote numbers with all the same digits which seems sensible but rarely worked and Ian scored nothing at all in round two. It seemed like only Laura got a hang of this and she graciously shared her tactics with us after the game, which was something about ending with middling numbers to get the better bonuses in rounds four and five.

Laura 66

Joe 57

Andrew 49

Adam 22

Ian 21

We all voiced our appreciation of the indented player tiles which allowed us to place them face down without fear of the ink smearing off onto Joe’s clean white table top.

Next we dug out an old classic: No Thanks. Another new game for Laura so Adam and Joe shared the rules explanation. We played twice. Ian went for high cards and Adam went low. I ended the first game with no chips, which I thought deserved a bonus point or two. Laura did the same on the second game and then I thought maybe it shouldn’t.

Adam 5

Andrew 10

Joe 10

Ian 49

Laura 49

And then...

Ian 8

Adam 19

Joe 21

Andrew 27

Laura 28

With Sam expected shortly, we banged out a quick Art Robbery. A third new game for Laura this evening! And the unsalted peanuts were poured back into their packet with Laura promising to do something with them: mix in szechuan sauce and roast them a bit. And add salt.

As for the game, Adam seemed curiously attached to the guard dog. Is he hankering after a pet? When Ian had a 5 token and the guard dog, Adam tried to steal from him. To his surprise Ian handed over the 5 token, not the dog. Ian then immediately stole the 5 token back with his next turn. A smooth move.

Joe 24

Adam 21

Andrew 18

Laura 13

Ian – fewest alibis (but had 18 points)

Then we discussed the guard dog token, with Joe assuming it was a severed head and Laura saying it was a complete dog with a disproportionately huge head sitting down. Joe decided that if we ever meet Reiner Knizia, we’d have to ask.

Sam arrived mid game and we split into two groups of three. Joe, Laura and Ian went for the lush opulence of the Pharaoh Edition of Ra. While he unpacked its enormous pieces, including metal money tokens which looked like they might actually be worth something, he gave Laura her fourth rules explanation of the evening.

The game was a sight to behold. They’d certainly overcome the old criticism that the bag for the tiles was too small: this edition had a bag large enough to carry groceries.

Joe 49

Ian 39

Laura 30

Adam, Sam and I played Cat In A Box, the quantum trick-taker. Adam was taught the rules and seemed so confused that he actually asked if it was a good idea to screw over other players. Who was this impostor? I thought.

Sam 13

Andrew 12

Adam 11

Since Ra was still in its second epoch, we played a quick Block Party. I sped off into a quick lead while Sam and Adam provided comedy moments such as:

Adam: Is it an elf?

Sam (sighing): yeah, it does look like an elf, doesn’t it?

(It was Robin Hood)

Sam: Is it France?

Adam: It’s a bottle of hot sauce.

This last one attracted Joe’s attention who asked why the bottle was blue instead of red and I had to remind him that, as every child knows, glass is blue.

Andrew 9

Sam 7

Adam 5

Then Ra ended and the Block Party expanded across the table. Laura got her fifth rules explanation (a probably unique perfect five) of the evening and we began. Adam managed to finish his guessing round getting none at all and Sam forgot to give us a countdown so that a few of us hadn’t finished. My “moustache” was just two rows of cubes. 

Joe tried to do “bottle” but he used green cubes and no one got it. We reminded him that glass is blue. Ian’s “peacock,” in retrospect, was very good but if I hadn’t already used up my guess I was going to say “quad bike.” Sam had a last-second structural collapse in one round, meaning no one could guess his “dice”.

Ian 11

Laura 10

Joe 8

Andrew 7

Sam 6

Adam 6

Then Adam and Laura left but I had no work the next day so I stuck around and the four of us played Stinker. Joe’s answer to “worst thing to say at a job interview” was “I am not a doctor” while Sam invented a new insult when he answered “eat me tits, airbone.” Possibly better in an Australian accent, we decided.

The most interesting aspect was how prophetic Stinker had become. Sam vetoed a number of cards which were once amusing asides but now referred to very real dangers facing us: Putin, climate change and Kim Jong Un were all topics that were swiftly replaced by lighter fare.

Joe 39

Ian 29

Sam 28

Andrew 20

Finally, Joe tempted us to one last game The Fuzzies. Very simple. Draw a card and remove a fuzzy ball of that colour from the tower and place it somewhere higher. Ian, already dressed in high-vis jacket and cycle helmet, looked as if he were taking the risk of the tower collapsing far too seriously.

Joe made the tower fall down.

Was there a scoring system? I’ve no idea.

Then, way past my bedtime I went home and found that my phone was on 3% battery but would no longer change. I transferred tonight’s pictures at a smaller size to make sure they uploaded before it finally died hence the lack of 4K HD style widescreen imagery. 

Thanks all. See you next week.

The Balance Of Trade

I arrived at Joe’s at the tail end of a game of Zero Down. It’s been a while since I’d seen it. So long, in fact, that I didn’t recognise it. I recognised everyone sitting around the table, though. Sam, Martin, Ian, Adam T, and Joe.

Martin 7

Ian 9

Joe 19

Adam 34

Sam 45

After this, Martin and Adam were keen on Impulse and I happily joined in, which Martin was relieved about since Impulse is not an easy game to teach. Adam sped off into an early lead, trading cards for big points. But it was too big a lead and he made himself a target. I happened to have a cruiser in striking distance and so, goaded by Martin and with Adam within easy reach of a win, I set off to vanquish him. I’m not a big fan of player elimination, but I didn’t have a huge amount of choice.

We went into battle and our initial card from our hand totalled up to the same amount. It was all o
n the draw of a card each from the deck. Adam drew a 1, I drew a 2. I won, and Adam rued his decision to hold back a card that would’ve tipped the war in his favour.

But then Martin went from 9 to 18 points in a single move, just two away from victory. I needed ten points, and I was certain of six. I had to rely on lucky draws from the deck for a tradeable card for those extra few points but, unlike Joe, I am not known for my lucky draws and I came up short.

Martin 20

Andrew 16

Adam out

Sheepy Time was coming to an end so we quickly sped through a game of Whale Riders: The Card Game.

Andrew 61

Martin 61

Adam 59

As for Sheepy Time, Ian won. Not bad for someone who, early on, noted that he was twenty points behind everyone else. A check of the rules told us that, officially, there are no second or third places.

Ian won

Sam and Joe lost

Now Adam made sort of going home noises, but was tempted to stay on for a game of So Clover. Adam impressed by writing “Dragula”, leading us to match “Camp” and “Myth”. Joe lowered the tone when he matched Shower with Golden. We were going okay until we slipped up on Ian’s clover, thinking Spartacus clued the word “alliance,” but it was just meant to be “old”

Score 34 out of 36

With Adam still making moves to go home, we tempted him with a rousing finale of Stinker. We all gave ourselves a rule-stretching 23 letter tiles and got cracking. Sam began with six ‘A’s in his pile of letters. Highlights were:

Real reason for world war two – Goebbels stole a razor (Martin)

Substitute for under pants - toasted gonads (Adam)

First thing to do on Jupiter – Radiate Smugnity (ian)

Title of a new Bond Film – Time to Strangle (Joe)

How to avoid the draft into the army – Run, dig a hole, scream (Sam)

My answer to "The road to Hell is paved with..."

By the end, our misspelling was very creative with Sam using a B on its back as an M and I had an A pointing right as a D.

Ian and Martin won with three cards each.

Adam and I left at this point while the other played High Score (but surely every game could be called High Score) using a collapsible dice arena.

Martin 13

Joe 12

Sam 11

Ian 6

And finally they played Cross Clues and got 19 out of 25.

Thanks all. See you next week.

Choc Rocking Beats

Two weeks ago, late withdrawals lead to us going from ten attendees down to five. This week, we went from seven down to five. Does this make us more popular or less?

The five of us were Martin, Katy, Sam, Joe and me with Joe expected a little late so we began as a four. First we banged out a quick Gold Fever. Its King-of-the-hill type strategy of attacking the leader meant that I ended the game with very few stones in my sack at all since I was never a threat. Sam won it, though, declaring “I’m going for it!” before pulling another gold nugget from his bag.

Sam 4
Martin 3
Katy 3
Andrew 2

Still no Joe, so we played L.A.M.A. Katy went clear in round two but, pivotally, Sam went clear in round four when the rest of us were laden with cards and he was able to put back a ten-point token.

Sam 20
Katy 23
Martin 38
Andrew 50

But still no Joe. Twice now the method of starting a game, expecting it to be interrupted by a knock on the door had failed. We debated what to play and Katy suggested Beowulf again, only to see it rejected again. Instead we went for a new game, King Chocolate. While we set up Joe finally arrived, a little frazzled after his ordeal in trying to find a parking space. He sat down at his allocated space and was introduced to the world of making chocolate.

In this game players place tiles in the shape of two conjoined hexagons that become areas representing different stages of chocolate productions from bean to chocolate via things like "nibs" and "liquor." It was pretty bemusing. With six stages of production but only four workers per player, the game required a certain amount of cooperation. We seemed unwilling to go down that path and did so only begrudgingly, especially if it benefited Martin and his vast liquor fields.

Katy initially gave herself a winning score but among widespread surprise, not least from herself, at her victory, she remembered a potential mistake when changing some currency and then she nobly took five points off her score, giving Sam his third win of the evening.

Sam 49
Katy 48
Joe 47
Martin 36
Andrew 27


Next up, we were in the mood for something silly and knockabout. Stinker was brought back to the table after too long away. I didn’t even remember the rules and I started slowly, scoring nothing for the first five cards. Katy’s new Nike slogan, “Love de shoe” was an early winner, as was her “Go arses” which was her way of telling people to leave. I got back into the groove, though, with my reason for being sent to the headmaster’s office: Tintin cosplay. This was hard for Martin to take since he’d made an answer using all of his tiles. Martin did okay, though, with quality answers like: tips to give a marathon runner - Move more haughtily.

Martin 40
Katy 40
Andrew 30
Sam 30
Joe 26

Next up we played co-operative Wavelength. We did better than before, and the card-winning answers were Dog/Cat name = Rover (from Joe, who admitted it was too easy), Un/hygenic + washing your hands for thirty seconds (Martin’s tweaking of health advice put us on the right track) and Gossip/News = Katie Price’s maternity dress (from me, and I suspect this was blind luck, although they did discuss it a lot).

Harmless or harmful: according to Katy, a pencil is pretty lethal.

Us: 18 points

Then, as we put it away, we marvelled at the best box fart in town.

Katy went back at this stage so the remaining four played Melee: a short war game with some very nice 16-bit graphics. Each player got a castle and then a limited number of moves and money to wage war on your neighbours. War is curious: the attacker reveals how much money they have in total and then they put some (or all) of that in a closed fist. The defender has to guess how much is in there. Get it right and they successfully defend. Get it wrong and they are vanquished.

It was, you know, fun. Joe and I attacked each other. Martin attacked Sam who successfully defended, but then lost to Martin’s knight. Not to be downhearted, he rallied and took the centre area which gave him another win.

Sam 3 provinces
Joe 2
Andrew 2
Martin 1

It was okay. Hard to tell, really, it was over so soon. But we were quite pooped and we bade our farewells for another week. Thanks for hosting Sam, see you all next week which will apparently involve cake.

Camembert!

This week's games began with a little subterfuge and some secret emails as all but one of Tuesday's attendees arrived at Joe's house a few minutes early to sign Martin's birthday card (Joe took the cover for the game Poison, replacing the title with the word Martin) and admire the cake and present we bought him.

We (Joe, Sam, Ian, Katy, Adam T and me) hit upon the jolly wheeze of hiding the cake in the box for Fauna. Our plan was to tell him that we'd decided to play it, and then amaze him when we revealed the cake inside. A brilliant plan, although we did worry that Martin would see through it, since Fauna doesn't actually play seven.

When he arrived we told him our decision, to general disinterest, and then we suggested that he should open the box. This peculiar request and the expectant grins on our faces must have tipped him off but he still had the decency to act a little surprised when he saw the cake.

But enough birthday jollities. We needed to play some games. We started with a big communal game of Just One, using our excellent Bonus Point variant - if the guesser can guess what any duplicate clues might be they score a point. We got a couple bonus points, with Katy guessing that two of us wrote Ogre for Shrek, and Joe guessed that Dummy had been eliminated from the clues for Comforter.

Katy stretched the rules when her clue for Baby was to write the word Human in really small letters. "Human," said Martin as he read it, "really small human..." and this lead him to the correct answer. Effective but not strictly kosher.

Everyone: 11 points

Now we split into groups. Martin had previously mentioned that he would like to play Tigris and Euphrates and Adam had brought T&E: the card game. Martin said he'd never played it and Joe, thinking that might level the playing field against T&E expert Martin, agreed to join them.

Sam, Ian, Katy and I played Rise Of Tribes. This simple but combative game is all about achieving criteria on cards in order to score points. Hit 15 points and it's an instawin.

It was interesting, with quite a bit of downtime between goes, but entertaining to watch other players move sabre toothed tigers around (with sound effects, if you were Katy).

Katy and Sam found themselves stepping on each other's toes in one half of the board, I sprawled leisurely down the middle of the map and Ian built point scoring villages in the west.

It was a ding dong battle, with the lead changing several times and as we neared the end, choices over actions became confounded with the desire to not allow someone else a chance at victory. Sam found himself in such a position where his best move would wipe Katy off the map and, therefore, give me the win. In the end, he went for a more risky, less destructive strategy and drew cards that he hoped might score points (see also, Ticket To Ride and Orbit). It didn't work and I won that turn anyway. All that remained was to put the pieces back in the snugly fitting foam inlay. Which turned out to be quite a challenge.

Andrew 15
Katy 13
Sam 12
Ian 9

As for Tigris and Euphrates The Card Game, Joe got off to a bad start when, during the rules explanation, he pointed to a stack of something and said "Are these catastrophies?" only to be informed that, actually, those were treasures. That's the sort of thing that a Pharaoh should know.

At the end (after a brief pause for cake) Adam insisted it was all luck while Martin commented that it was just like the board game version.

Martin 6
Joe 4
Adam 3

While waiting for us to finish they played 99. I know nothing about this game and the in-game banter was impenetrable, but Martin won again.

Martin 117
Joe 54
Adam 7

Now we were all together, there was a little reshuffling. Martin, Joe, Adam and Katy chose Clash of the Gladiators; a massive punch up in an arena with dice arenas, one of which was particularly bouncy. .

Was Martin really invested in the game when he asked rhetorically "Why do we need to fight?" Katy soon found herself relying on the success of wildlife as she called out "Come on, bear!" Adam was good enough to say that the game was very silly... while he stood over their blood stained corpses.

Adam 17
Joe 15
Martin 13
Katy 8

Ian Sam and I played Cartographers, a roll and write game with cards and occasional opportunities to write on an opponents paper. There was an Isle Of Skye style scoring system, where two different criteria scored each round. Sam got hit by explainer's curse while Ian won after winning from the start.

Ian 56
Andrew 46
Sam 39

It was fun, like a meaner Avenue.

Then Ian left and Sam and I knocked out a quick Flick Fleet in which I (the evil empire) beat Sam.

When 99 ended, Adam left and the five of us banged out a game of Stinker. A game we all know and love, although apparently Katy didn’t know you had to say “Stinker” when you had an answer. Tsk.

Highlights (one from each player) were...

Worst possible gift: God’s rectum (Andrew, but only after Sam said no one deserved it)
How to win a sword fight without a sword: Hide in sofa (Martin)
Best meal to cook when meeting in-laws: Coq au Arse (Joe)
An elevator pitch for a movie: Yes it’s great n stuff (Katy)
Something you don’t want to hear your spouse say: Eating shit later (Sam)

Such was the fun we were having, that we went around the table three times!

Best meal for the in-laws: a noble second place for Martin

Joe 39
Katy 35
Martin 33
Andrew 30
Sam 28

This amount of fun is almost decadent and both Katy and I walked home with our joy tinged with a hint of regret that neither of us would get to our respective beds before midnight. But still, a fun evening. Thanks all.

Rome burned, onions wept

Seven gamers and Joe's kitchen table came together this week in a resounding crash of bonhomie and rivalry. Joe, Sam, Martin, Ian, Adam T, Katy and me were all seated by 7.30 and we began with all of us collaborating in a game of Belratti.

This Dixit-ish game of detecting conscious choices from random chance is a firm favourite but are we getting to good? Since discussing our choices is not allowed, Sam hit upon a method of giving his cards a percentage according to how good a match they were for one of the two targets. This was quickly adopted by all of us except Katy who refused to reduce her art to a mere number.

We did well but, also, we got lucky. We linked wasp to a clapperboard because they had stripes, only for Adam to tell us that the real link was B-Movie. Too smart for us. And despite a lengthy discussion as to what was better matched to mouth: bread or cigarette, we got it wrong. Bread should have gone with the other topic - tiger. Tiger bread, you see. Well done, Martin. Sorry we didn't get it.

Us 21
Belratti 6

Then we split into two groups. The Was Sticht gang (Joe, Ian, Adam and me) regrouped for another attempt at the wily trick taker while Katy, Martin and Sam sat around the card table for a feisty game of Senators.

Was Sticht started hesitantly, with Ian having to have two attempts at explaining who won which trick during the opening matrix stage. Then the game was remarkable for a large number of no trumps, and for round three when I dealt out no green cards at all in the first half of the matrix.

The game was much smoother this time, with Joe cleverly choosing his cards according to one of the criteria ("no tricks", "no green cards," etc) he needed to complete.

But I won again! Is this the game for me? It was close, though.

Andrew 3 plus 16 on the tiebreaker
Joe 3 plus 13
Ian 2
Adam 1

While we finished that, the card table gang finished Senators and two other games too. From what I can gather, Martin was in the lead and then saw a sudden collapse in support, followed by the third war ending the game in dramatic fashion.

Katy 11
Sam 10
Martin 9

They followed this up with Heul Doch Mau Mau. I don't know what variant they were playing but when Martin said "balls!" in frustration, Katy replied "hairy or shaved?" I didn't note Martin's answer but judging by the final score, his frustration can't have lasted long.

Martin 114
Katy 85
Sam 83

They also managed to squeeze in one round of the word game Handsome. Sam won.

Sam 3
Katy 1
Martin 1

Then there was a period of reshuffling, with four crossword wizards (Sam, Adam, Joe and Martin) going head to head over a game of Montage. Although Sam did apologize beforehand that anyone paired with him would lose.

I tried to listen in to make notes but the only clue I heard was "Donkey" and its answer was "Ass". But I'm sure the rest of the clues were brilliant.

Joe and Martin won!
Sam and Adam didn't.

The rest of us played Downfall of Pompeii, which needed a little rule refresher but was otherwise smooth sailing. We were a little surprised when the rules told us that the owner of the game should set everything up but, since Joe was already playing Montage, we struggled on without him.

It was a memorable game Katy who got one Omen card after another, allowing her to throw her opponents into the volcano. She ended with no meeples left to put on the board when, luckily, Vesuvius erupted. I wonder if I got the Relative Rule wrong but it was wrong for all of us, so never mind.

It was enormous fun pushing lava into the path of our opponents so they died a fiery death. Kathy's early advantage lead to her victor.

Katy 7
Ian 6
Andrew 5

Around this time Adam left and the remaining three bashed out a quick game of Eggs Of Ostrich to fill the time until Pompeii was covered in lava.

Martin 11
Joe 6
Sam 3

Then the six of us played Stinker. Winning entries that I managed to write down were...

Why is a good man hard to find? Polio Death (Ian)
What's under the Pope's hat? Courgettes (Joe)
The name of a fairy tale? Alana and the Bum (Martin)
How to tell someone they have bad breath? Smell toilet to compare. (Katy)

Don't recall the category for this one.

Martin 32
Joe 27
Katy 25
Sam 24
Andrew 11
Ian 9

Then Sam and Ian left, while the final four played on past the eleventh hour with a rousing game of Krass Kariert, the card game of no winners, just losers. We all lost one life in the four rounds that we played and so we called it a draw and went home rejoicing in our shared non-defeat.

Old Blue Eyes is Back!

An onslaught of spouse's birthdays, tiredness and general unavailability reduced our number to four last night: Katy, Martin and Ian came to my (Joe's) house, to pay our weekly tithes to the lords of gaming.


Speaking of lords, Katy was barely through the door before she suggested Lords of Vegas, and was met with a general murmur of approval. But Martin deftly produced Hats, and suggested we try out the 4 player team variant as an evening starter.

Martin read the blurb in a faintly terrifying manner (apparently Sam stopped him doing this mid-flow last week, and I can see why - very disturbing); something to do with the mad hatters tea-party, and nothing whatsoever to do with the gameplay, as far as I could see. Ian and I were new to the game, and we took Katy and Martin as our partners respectively. The team rules simply add that during your turn you can swap a card with your partner. On a first game it was quite perplexing to know what to swap or whether to bother at all, and despite the simple rules it's quite difficult to see the strategy as the round progresses.

Just look at trompe l'ouil effect of the cookie on the hanky. That's art!

In the end, both teams tied on 63 points, with the second tie-breaker going to Martin and me because I had the cookie. So I won!

Martin & Joe 63 (chocolate chippers)
Katy & Ian 63 (big dippers)

Certainly a game I'd like to try again.

 So Lords it was! Katy almost, but not quite, thought she might need a rules refresher, and we all laughed at the very idea. But as we were setting up, Martin quietly asked for player aid - perhaps it has been longer than we thought - Katy may not even have played since returning from her big trip, can that be right?

Martin got off to a swinging start, getting to 3 points before the rest of us had scored at all. I seemed to be completely devoted to back lots, and though I was able to build three casinos on my first turn, none of them paid out during the next round and I began my second turn with a paltry $2. But at least Frank was there for me - as I built what Martin described as a brothel (I think) on Frank Sinatra Way, he piped up quite unexpectedly on the stereo, hence the blog title.

Ian and Martin certainly did a lot of the early running, but as we entered the mid-game, Katy came storming back to own all three mega casinos on her side of the strip. Though they continued to fight shy of paying out, much to her chagrin, we could all see that they would eventually be the making of her. From then on, Martin and Katy tussled over ownership of a mega 8 point green casino, and the game was probably going to belong to whomever ran it when the final card came out. This made for some interesting offers of help - Ian and Katy bankrolled me reorganising the whole thing on my turn (I had a single die stake), much to Martin's horror. That worked out for Katy.

Note Katy's extremely neat card-stacking.

On a subsequent turn, spotting my plan to takeover Ian's casino, Martin offered to simply lend me $2 - vaguely adding that I might repay it with a hefty vig at some point in the future. It was an offer that felt in-keeping with the 50s Vegas theme, as there was undeniably an air of unspoken threat - I graciously declined the offer, not wanting to end up in a shallow grave in Red Rock West.

The game was also notable for Ian's poor book-keeping, which he blamed convincingly on the level of his beer glass. He inadvertently forgot to pay £24 million for the purchase of two casinos at one point; that's the demon drink for you.

When I drew the Game Over card, it was close for everyone but me. Katy and Martin tied, with the win going to Katy for more cash in hand. Martin was suitably enraged. Ian spotted that he would have won himself, had his takeover bid on the last turn succeeded. It was a game filled with highs, lows and stand up dice rolls (isn't it always?) - an unmitigated pleasure, even from the viewing angle of a distant fourth place.

Katy 44 (won on more cash-in-hand)
Martin 44
Ian 40
Joe 20

Half the board. I confess I was still more interested in Katy's ultra-neat card-arranging.

It was only 9.40, but it felt later - we decided on firm favourite Stinker as a warm down. I can't remember much about it, apart from being able to make the words marzipan and beetroot without using any stinkers in one round - if only it had been relevant to the prompt.

Not that we set much store by such things, but the final score after 8 rounds was close, and we'd each won two rounds. Except that Katy's second win was by judging her own to be the best (with our blessing - she was right).

Katy 27
Martin/Joe 25
Ian 23

After that, Katy and Ian made their farewells, and Martin convinced me that what I really needed was a whupping at 2-player Res Arcana. It wasn't too much of a rout, but I had mentally resigned the moment he began cranking out gold nuggets from his Dragon's Lair on turn one.

Martin 10
Joe 8

A fine evening, thanks all.

No shreddies

This week, five fifths of our most regular players arrived at Joe's house for our weekly battle of wits and cunning. The missing one sixth was Katy, but she had recently impressed us all with an email showing her playing Isle Of Skye while actually on the Isle Of Skye.

Meanwhile, we happy five (Joe, Ian, Martin, Sam and me) began with a new game called Irish Gauge that had quickly convinced us with its pretty illustrations and promise of a rule book with only two pages.

Thematically correct alcohol!

Since it was a hex based train game, I was more than keen to give it a shot, but slowly it dawned upon us that something was missing. Martin wondered if we were playing it wrong, not in terms of rules but in terms of strategy. And he had a point: we were approaching it in a very Railways Of The World manner, building up our networks and getting everything in place before triggering a scoring round. Should we have been quicker to get dividends, or more generous with our bids for shares?

Who knows. In this game, Sam wrestled for an almost exclusive ownership of the blue network, but it cost him dearly. Martin kept sole control of his network of orange, possibly because it was the worst on the board. Joe, though, was rolling in money. His yellow network paid out well and he bought an early share into my purple network, and seemed to do very well out of that too. His regretful sigh of "I don't think I understand share games," was met with little sympathy since he was the clear leader at the time.

Joe 133
Martin 111
Andrew 110
Sam 84
Ian 80

We ended with a feeling of disappointment, and we were unable to tell if it was us or the game that was at fault. Lots of mumbling about needing to give it one more try.

We followed this with a rousing game of Stinker. Three whole rounds! I made more notes this time and, assuming that the random nature of the game somehow gives it oujia board type abilities to see the future, I can safely say that...

A cure for insomnia is... Oddbins sale (Ian)
The app missing from your smartphone is... Nob Measurer (Joe).
A greeting you don't want your robot to give you is... Hi pedo (Martin)
The next big thing is... Slappy Bags (Sam)
Your mama is... A real hottie (Joe)
And the eventual undoing of man will be... Christmas Toffee (me)

Ian 53
Martin 28
Sam 25
Joe 22
Andrew 21

After this giddy encounter with over excitement, we kept up the pressure with Voodoo Prince. Ian started badly, winning a hand with a five, effectively giving him two tricks (remember, three tricks in a round and you're out) but he hung on long enough to pick up a decent score that round.

Then, in round two of three, Ian was then second to last to pick up his third trick, giving him maximum points. He was, by now, the man to beat. "We need to fuck Ian up," said Martin while yawning, sounding like a decadent dictator idly requesting the assassination of an enemy.

But it was all for naught. Ian got maximum points in round three as well.

Ian 31
Martin 21
Sam 19
Andrew 18
Joe 14

Next up was Zero Down, a game that simply eludes me. I assume there's a strategy, but I am entirely unaware of what it is. Joe, however, has a better grasp of the matter.

Apart from Joe's serene stroll to victory, the rest of us spent our time cursing the player who'd just picked up the card we needed.

Joe 5
Ian 13
Sam 24
Andrew 34
Martin 46

During this game, someone described their luck as being a car crash which we misheard (for comedy purposes) as "cock rash."

And also, between games, Joe informed us of some adverts he'd seen for a new product: fart filtering pants. The testimonials from apparently happy users made it very difficult for us to tell if the product was genuine or not. But these adverts gave rise to the phrase "no shreddies" which now adorns this blog post.

Ian left after Zero Down, but we remaining four had one more game in us: Memoarrr. It is a simple memory game that demonstrates with such clarity your lack of short term memory that you may start to suspect oncoming dementia.

It's so simple, 25 cards, in an array of 5 by 5 with one removed (the scoring cards go in its space) and all you have to do is remember what is where. And you have seven rounds to do it! Couldn't be simpler, but I struggled massively. Great fun and I was slightly amazed how quickly my memory vanished once the cards had all been turned face down again.

But it was great fun, despite my complete inability to get anywhere with it.

One round went all the way until the end... Didn't help me, though

Joe 6
Sam 5
Martin 4
Andrew 0

And with that, we were done. Time for us all to stumble home, full of the thrill of battle and alcohol.