The envoys are all glistening with chip fat

 I arrived at Joe’s to see the host, Ian, Katy, Sam, Martin and Adam H in the middle of a game of Cross Clues. I was offered a card to join in, but my mind hadn’t caught up with my body and was still a few minutes from getting here. There were a few mistakes, which I didn’t note, and a nice clue from Martin, using “Vet” to signify “cow/firefighter”. Amazingly, Katy started chatting before the game had concluded.

22 out of 25.

With all attendees present, Katy instantly suggested Lords of Vegas - insisting that the usually dice-phobic Adam was keen. Katy put the box on the table, "just in case anyone was interested" and Joe and Ian joined. No doubt Ian was keen to erase the memory of his last game where he scored only six points.

Martin, Sam and I played Cascadero. I was keen since I hadn’t played it since I’d learnt it, and needed to revisit it before I forgot everything. Apparently, I was up against the two most experienced players in the world, according to game count on Board Game Geek. An awesome achievement.

Early on in the game, Martin professed to being worried by Sam’s lengthy caravan of meeples. “This disquiets me,” he said. But he soon started to chain moves together, storming off into an impressive lead. “We're sitting at the same table but that's as far as it goes,” says Sam as Martin reached the top of his track and opened up a 29-13-12 lead.

I finished the last crisps in a bowl, reaching the point where Ian’s high class posh sea salt and peppercorn crisps mixed with some fake frazzles, and Martin made the observation that now adorns this blog post: “The envoys are all glistening with chip fat.” At first, Sam and I thought he was being poetic and commenting how rich and opulent the envoys would be if they were real but, no, that was the literal state of some of the meeples at this point. An amazing sentence, though, and one that could only be used in the context of board games. Or one of those orgies in Ancient Rome, perhaps.

It ended as a cake walk for Martin. “But you enjoyed yourself?” Katy asked Sam. “No,” he bluntly replied.

Martin 52

Andrew 20

Sam 21, but didn't finish his track 

Vegas was still barely halfway through, with various quotes drifting across the table such as “You can't lose more than you have,” Joe. “That really hurt,” Katy and “Fuck it, it’s Vegas,” Ian - at that point he was once again in a distant last.

Martin, Sam and I played Via Nebula. Before we began Sam told me and Katy that we’d played it before. “It's like being gaslit by Martin Wallace,” I said, as I couldn’t remember anything about it, if I had ever played it.

After the rules explanation, I went first and - not knowing what else to do - I made some resources available. Martin expressed bemusement about what he was actually aiming for. What “the shape of the game should be,” I think he said. He checked the rule-book mid game and found a rule that made the game less of a dickish co-op game and more conventional. Sam admitted to some disappointment.

Martin built buildings and I kept uncovering resources, both of which gained points. Our two very different strategies got us a joint first place.

Martin 22

Andrew 22 tied, and we shook hands as per the rule book's instructions

Sam 15

Then we played seaside, a game of pulling tiles from a bag and deciding which side of the tile you want to action. One side will usually let you have another turn, while putting more resources into the shared area in the middle. Or the other side will let you pick up some of what is available. At the end, we stacked up your tiles to see who’s the tallest!

Sam wins!

I was dimly aware of a lengthy discussion in LoV while Joe asked for donations to reroll a casino, but eventually the game ended with an impressive win for Katy. And an almost-as-impressive comeback for Ian.

Katy 54

Ian 23

Adam and Joe 20

Katy commented that Adam only rolled ones throughout the game. Adam the dice-skeptic didn't seem to want to comment.

And that was it for me. But the others played on and scored a perfect 36 out of 36 in So Clover.

And finally Martin, Joe and Sam played Klink.

Joe 93

Martin 82

Sam 64

Thanks and see you all soon.

Happily Ever Rafter

 In the same way that Sirens drew sailors to their doom on rocky shores in past centuries, so the promise of board games drew us to Sam’s house. Not to our doom, but to jovial banter and salty nibbles.

I arrived at a little before 8 to find Sam, Ian, Martin, Adam H and Joe halfway through a game of The Gang, a cooperative version of Poker. It was the third hand and I noticed that Joe rearranged the cards in the flop in numerical order, like they were playing For Sale. Ian bet low, believing he only had Card High, and had to be told he had a Straight when he revealed his hand. He admitted he still didn’t understand poker and, indeed, at a rare poker night just this past weekend Ian was out first. I was dealt into the last two hands, but extra players only make it more difficult and we ended with two more failed attempts.

The gang's all here

2 successes, 3 failures.

Then we split into two groups of three, choosing games that would easily accommodate four since Katy was on her way.

Adam, Ian and Martin set up Cascadero. I didn’t follow it much, apart from someone saying it was Ian’s “first time with the farmers” which raised some smutty laughter.

Adam 39

Ian 37

Martin OUT (but scored 38)

Meanwhile, Sam, Joe, me and (latterly) Katy played Expiditions. I saw it only from a distance the other week and today was my first play. It involves placing arrows along one of three routes (red, blue or yellow) such that they arrive at secret locations that you have in your hand or are on display as one of the shared locations. It’s simple, but cunning. Use a ticket for an extra action, reach a blue square for another turn and reach a red square for a new ticket. And since this is a Eurogame, all routes begin in Essen, Germany.

Meanwhile, we’re all travelling to these distant locations. Sad to say, I hadn’t actually been to any of them. Not even Stonehenge, although I've seen it from a car window. Each location card has a little text to explain the site's charms. I was curious about Graham Land in the far south, due to its dull name (unless you happen to be called Graham, I suppose).

Sam seemed very adept at chaining blue squares and red stars together to propel himself around the world, ticking off his locations as he went. Joe pondered his next move in an Australian accent which I thought might be a possible tell. Katy surprised us all by asking “Where’s the Sahara?” when its card was drawn from the deck. Near the end, the winner was pretty clear. Joe took several attempts to count up his score and Katy seemed disappointed that she hadn’t enjoyed it as much this time.

Sam 15

Joe 9

Andrew 5

Katy 4

Katy demanded something fun this time, so we played Rafter 5, the game of dexterity and balance in a tiny box. As the planks slowly increase in number, our options become more and more absurd. 

Katy fumbled one of her turns but somehow managed to drop her chest onto the plank she’d just placed, so it was a valid move. I had less luck. I picked up one of the rafters deftly, causing murmurs of approval for my skill, but then I nudged a treasure chest with my plank and the whole thing collapsed.

Andrew lost

Then the groups shifted again. Joe, Martin and Katy played Seaside. You pull beach-themed tiles from a bag and make jokes about getting crabs. At the end of the first game, they just stacked up their tiles and I took a photo in lieu of a numerical result.

Joe on the right, Martin on the left, Katy hidden behind them both

The second game was even closer, and so they relied on numbers.

Joe 19

Katy 19

Martin 17

Then they played Sunrise Lane. I didn’t get the scores, but Martin won with Joe “squeaking second by a point.”

Then they played another game. This one had large cards and a pretty fabric play area thing. It was called Courtisans but I don’t know the scores, because I dashed out before they’d finished.

The reason for my sharp exit was a game of Empire’s End. This is a game of disaster avoidance using a No Thanks style mechanic of bidding to not pick up tiles. You begin with 11 parts of a gleaming civilization and will almost certainly be left with half of it in ashes and ruins. Try to protect the most valuable or take the disaster that will hopefully have enough resources on it to make it worthwhile.

It was fun but a little bit long. Including rules, it took about an hour and a half. As a four-player, with a couple of newbies, it was a little longer than I’d wanted. Ian went big on military but Adam hoarded wheat for two end of game bonuses along with, I think, another one or two bonuses that pushed him from last into a healthy first.

Shiny fire

Adam 179

Sam 153

Andrew 144

Ian 127

After I left, Martin, Ian and Sam played a three-player So Clover, getting a perfect 18 out of 18.

And after Ian left, Sam beat Martin 2-1 at Schipp & Weg

Thanks all. It was special!