Stone me

The country remains in lockdown so we do our bit by not leaving the house and looking at heavily pixelated versions of ourselves via the internet.

I arrived at 8 at about the same time as Steve and Anja. We three joined Sam, Martin, Katy, Ian and Adam T who had already played 7 Wonders. Don't know the score.

We started a game of 6nimmt, and although Sam went clear in round one, it was Katy who won. She pointed out, in the face of our general disapproval, that it was her turn to win since Martin had won last time.

Katy 64
Martin 61
Sam 54
Andrew 43
Steve 32
Ian 22
Adam 7
Anja -3

Next up was Incan Gold, which Katy struggled with because she couldn’t see on her screen how many of us were still in the temple. Not that it made much difference since her determination to stay on until the rich pickings that were surely only a card turn away was to be her undoing. And Martin’s too, as they played out an identical game, both only clicking on the “keep exploring” option until they were dead. Sam, however, was far more light on his feet. Has his need for early nights in real life seeped into his Incan Gold strategy? Wasn’t enough to beat Ian in game one and then, in game two, Martin tried the “swift exit” tactics with less success.

Ian 28
Sam 24
Anja 18
Andrew 15
Adam 15
Steve 7
Martin 0
Katy 0

Sam 23
Steve 17
Adam 15
Andrew 13
Anja 9
Martin 8
Ian 7
Katy 5

Katy may have come last twice, but at least she cheered us all up by singing “Zombie Lady” to the tune of “La Cucaracha”.

Then Joe arrived to we split into two groups. Katy was keen to see people's faces so she and her merry band of Anja, Steve, Ian and Joe set off for Google Hangouts and two games of Coloretto.

Anja wins game one
Ian wins game two.

Martin, Adam, Sam and I played Palaces of Carrara for the first time in years for most of us. Sam got a rules refresher/explanation but I’ve noticed that online is not a great place to learn a game. He, by the end, admitted he had no idea what he was doing. Adam complained if people bought without moving the wheel and Martin sighed heavily at how badly he was doing before choosing a move that got him lots of points. It ended as you might imagine, and thanks to Martin for charitably describing the score as “close”.

Martin 95
Andrew 50
Sam 47
Adam 44

Keen to play again, though.

Finally, with all of us on Google Hangouts (except for Sam and Steve who left at this point) we played Just One. Our brilliant showing in this game is becoming more and more of a distant memory as we struggled.

Even with our “Guess the duplicate” rule, we did badly. Ian looked sleepier with each guess and at one point he logged out and didn’t come back in so we thought he’d finally nodded off. But it was his battery that had died, not him.

GNN super charitable scoring method: 10 points
Official rules scoring method: 4 points

And so we were done for another evening. Thanks all! Must do it again some time.

This is beef shit

As is usual, I arrive late for our now-normal virtual games night and I'm into a six player game of For Sale (against Martin, Adam T, Katy, Ian and Sam) before I've even worked out how to get the chat working in Discord.

You would think that playing the first game mute and deaf would be an advantage since I'd have fewer distractions, but no. I came last.

Katy 59
Martin 55
Sam 51
Ian 40
Adam 38
Andrew 37

We were waiting for Joe to arrive and, as I manage to get things working my end, we decide to play For Sale again. Adam managed to get invited into someone else's game which he then had to leave, while regretting that this would probably spoil his "good" rating.

This time most of us that Katy was winning during the game since she picked up two, maybe three, high cards in the bidding phase but instead we had the closest result I think we've ever seen on For Sale, with both first and last being decided by tie breakers.

Ian 44 (more cash)
Martin 44 (no cash)
Katy 43
Andrew 41
Sam 40 (more cash)
Adam 40 (less cash)

Then Joe arrived and we decided to play Codenames. At this point Andy B (otherwise distracted by an online gig) was seen on Discord and our Google Hangouts but, although he could see the Codenames board, he couldn't hear us or speak to us, which is kind of vital. As it was, he went back to his gig (or to his riverside beer, if his avatar was anything to go by) and the rest of us carried on with our uneven teams.

Adam, Ian and I were in a comfortable 4-2 lead when we passed, thinking that they'd never get four clues in one go. Upsettingly, Martin's clue of "playground, three” got them across the line.

Martin, Joe, Katy, Sam, win
Adam, Ian, Andrew, don't


Then the seven of us played good old 7 Wonders. Katy had only played it once before and got a lightning fast rules refresher that left her with only twenty seconds left on the clock to make her first move.

Joe remarked in round three that he had fewest points and no money. A tricky situation. Plus, he was in a long and bloody war against Sam. Other noteworthy tactics were Ian's love of science and Adam's fondness for bricks. I went down the pacifist route until round three but it was Martin's recourse-light approach the won the day.

Martin 69
Andrew 54
Adam 54
Ian 50
Sam 46
Katy 45
Joe 45

After 7 Wonders we took it down a notch and played 6nimmt. We remarked that the negative points you pick up during the game actually have names: beef heads. Or, to be exact, beef head(s). Adam was particularly peeved by this short cut, pointing out that it only needed one extra line of code to differentiate between one beef head and multiple beef heads. The game clearly took offence at this as he received plenty much beef head(s).

But never mind beef head(s), “this is beef shit,” Joe cursed as another pile of head(s) rolled into his lap and Ian must have felt the same as he picked up 21 in one go. Martin ended up a winner with Katy appalled that she didn’t even manage second, despite leading for so long.

Martin 47 points remaining
Andrew 34
Katy 33
Sam 21
Ian 10
Joe 7
Adam -10

Then Katy, Joe and Sam left. The remaining four of us considered Quantum, but decided it was too late. Instead we went for a 500 point game of Tichu. I was teamed with Martin while approx newbie Adam was paired up with Ian. As we began Martin made the observation that in the last two games he’d played online, one the the two teams ended up with minus points.

Adam’s mix of innocence and bravado caused him to call Tichu on his first hand, only to discover the trick he wanted to start with was illegal. He immediately began to voice second thoughts. I, on the other hand, had a dream hand: a high full house, three tens, a straight flush bomb, and a two. I also called Tichu and went out easily.

In round two, Ian failed his Tichu and Martin succeeded on his, meaning the scores were 470 to -170. With only thirty points separating Martin and I from victory, Adam decided it was time to make some bold moves. He called Grand Tichu. He failed, but Martin and I only scored twenty points that round and the game extended into one final (surely) round. Ian called Grand Tichu and failed, with his team mate Adam actually going out first when it was clear that Ian wasn’t going to do it.

Martin and Andrew 565
Ian and Adam -465

What a remarkable way to end another remarkable evening. Thanks all.

Future Gamers II

The Old London Chapter of GNN - Andrew, Paul J, Chris and myself - gathered online last night for a long-mooted gaming session. I'd not seen Paul in over a year so it was nice to catch up, and see his penchant for impulse purchases was still intact with a spaceship-type lighting system. This effect added to the sense that our cottage-in-the-country weekends were from a different time, and we were now in the Future.

Chris was in Chippenham, and had dyed his hair - as an experiment, he insisted. Whether this was true or not, or how much he was lying to himself, he did look remarkably younger and we discussed the merits of spraying my bald patch, a la Bob Mortimer. Paul mentioned he'd cut his own hair so didn't know what the back looked like.

Andrew was conspicuously on the fence. He began mysteriously uncamera-ed later added a camera, but remained invisible to me throughout the evening, as Zoom refused to show me how much he'd changed. Is he pumping iron every morning and downing protein shakes? Enquiring minds, etc.

After comparing lockdown notes we kicked things off with 7 Wonders. I was surprised to see I hadn't played it in well over a year, but for Paul it was possibly longer. Some things never change though - sandwiched between Paul and Chris, both Andrew and I found ourselves militarily bullied, as he discovered lots of peaceful science and I concentrated on gentle culture. The entire undertaking took about 15 minutes! With a computer around to not-forget which way to pass your cards, 7 Wonders was exceedingly brief. And Paul's absenteeism did him no harm, it turned out:

Paul 60
Chris 56
Sam 47
Andrew 46

We moved on to another speedy undertaking in Love Letter. Again Paul's rustiness did him no harm here either, as he sailed to a 3-1-1-0 lead, at one point ousting Chris with a Priest in the Hole.

But as Andrew and I serially imploded, Chris came back from the dead to claim an improbable victory!

Chris 4
Paul 3
Andrew 1
Sam 1

We stuck with the sillier end of the gaming spectrum with Perudo. Having played this on Tuesday I was already familiar with the foibles of boardgamearena's particular version of the rules, but it didn't help me at all. Dudos kept blowing up in my face as, once again, Paul began to look the dominant stag amongst a bunch of stick-legged deer-children*. The evening does begin to get hazy here though, with various people going off for a wee or simply vanishing for a moment or two. I also realised I'd downed three glasses of wine already at it was barely 9pm. At this point, driven mad by smallish children, Sally came in to confiscate aforementioned wine but before leaving poured me a very large fourth. So my recall - never the best anyway - starts to go on the fritz. I thought I took photos, but I didn't. I do remember Stanley coming in and confusing me by not speaking - it turns out he'd taken a vow of silence that continues this morning - and I also remember, I think, though, that Chris was first out, then Andrew, then it was my two dice versus Paul's five. Twice I tried to bluff him and twice he read me like a book: it was a very convincing win for the man from Croydon:

Paul
Sam
Andrew
Chris

Mine and Andrew's last game of the evening was Carcassonne. This hasn't been seen for years in our house, but the rules are burned into our memories.  Paul was the big points-scorer early on, but as he said himself, he was doing no farming. Andrew and I got into a passive-aggressive farmer battle where I managed to actually connect his fourth Farmer to the main 'board' with a absent-minded placement. D'oh! Chris trod a path between these extremes, getting a couple of Farmers down too but also focusing his efforts on some city expansion. As is often the case with this game, the farming paid off:

Sam 69
Andrew 64
Paul 62
Chris 53

I was fading fast and Andrew had to go to work, so we bowed out, leaving Chris and Paul to crack out a finale in the classic two-player, Jaipur.

1 Chris
2 Paul

They'll have to tell that dramatic tale themselves, as I was probably asleep before it finished. A nice confection of gaming, thanks chaps....

*fawns

Future Gamers

Another Isolation Tuesday was never going to stop GNN, although we did have unfortunate absentees with Andrew and Adam T late drop-outs. But there was still six of us - Katy, Ian, Martin, and myself kicked things off with a game of For Sale, which Adam H and Joe joined as spectators towards the finale.

For Sale was a strange beast. Several times people didn't bother bidding at all, which led to some inevitable over-bidding when everyone realised they still had loads of cash and the 29 and 30 came out. We entered the game's second stage with a sense of mystery over who was doing well that was, for me anyway, more pronounced than when you're in the room together. As it turned out though Ian and I were best real estate agents on this particular occasion. I won on a tie-breaker that I now forget.

Sam
Ian
Martin
Katy

With Joe and Adam now present, we moved swiftly on to Codenames. This was a real thriller - or as much of a thriller as Codenames can ever be. Joe was spymaster to his agents Adam and Ian, whereas I gave clues to Martin and Katy. Both teams made solid starts, successfully getting two clues each. Then things got a bit wonky, with Joe and I getting a little ambitious with our clueing as we tried to build up a lead. I linked port and pole with Amundsen, but Martin and Katy (after getting pole) not unreasonably picked hood and Canada. Joe's team had me abandon my clue of Queen for London and crown when they picked our London for something. I forget what.

It looked like our goose was cooked when we had four words left to get for the other team's two, but when Joe clued hops for field and Czech, he dramatically broke Codenames etiquette by making it clear that they shouldn't choose plane when Adam started talking about 'city hops'. Consumed by guilt, Joe then insisted they should choose plane, and - as plane was a bystander - we were handed an extremely tenuous lifeline. I clued prince for crown, and then Katy and Martin figured out back and contract for shingles, and wrapped things up by getting the missing Amundsen word - port! It was a back-from-the-dead victory.

Whew. After that we needed something a bit sillier and plumped for Incan Gold, replete with zombie ladies. This turned out to be even more dramatic, as Katy died twice but then came back from the dead by not dying after everyone else had bailed, picking up a huge haul of gems. But it wasn't enough to catch Martin, who after gathering a big haul early on, kept leaving at the optimum moment to build on his lead:

Adam ('OldHarry') was about to lurch from last to first though, with our next undertaking of Perudo. This was the game that brought home to Stan - lurking at my end - exactly how foul-mouthed everyone at GNN is. Particularly Katy and Martin. It is the type of game where saying "You bunch of cocks" barely gets noticed, to be fair. I was first out, followed swiftly by Joe - at one point dice leader with Martin - and then Katy and Martin went as well, leaving Ian to mull over Adam's bid of one five. "Dudo him!" I cried. "He hasn't got a single five!" Ian dudo-ed. Adam had a five and an ace.

The final game of the night - for me - was Wavelength. After our strong early showings with this game, we've been increasingly erratic, and last night was no different. Maybe we didn't help ourselves by being slightly peckish at this point - everyone wandered off to get a snack, apart from Joe, who said 10.30pm was too early for cereal. There was much debate, particularly between Martin and Joe, or Martin and Adam, and much chagrin from Adam when he felt we should have done better with 'HS2' on the local/global spectrum. He reminded us he'd won perudo. Martin invoked Michael Gove again, and again it didn't work. We kept missing the target entirely - in fairness, often not by much - and scored some measly 6 points or something. I didn't write it down. At this point I was flagging, in fact, and had to retire to bed. Everyone else was staying up for one more game, but I don't know what it was. Please say in the comments!

I hear you knocking

Another week of social distancing means another week of logging into Discord and taking advantage of the internet's ability to entertain.

There were nine of us. Ian, Katy, Martin, Joe (trying to download Discord to his Mac because his phone was dying), Steve, Anja, Sam, Adam H, and me. With such high numbers, we decided to play 6nimmt. It was available on Board Game Arena, but one of us needed to be a premium member in order to set up a game and invite the rest of us to join.

Ian was impressed enough by the site to put his hand into his pocket and he invited us all to join him as we registered one by one. Whenever someone accepted the invitation, it was accompanied by a knocking noise that Joe found unsettlingly creepy and it did indeed sound like something you’d hear coming from the next room while exploring an abandoned log cabin.

The set up was all going pretty smoothly until Anja joined. Suddenly the site threw up a warning that two players had the same IP address. This is not allowed, due to the risks of cheating. Unless you're a subscriber, in which case it's fine. Anja dutifully paid the membership fee and suddenly the site went from sneering accusations to complimenting her moral integrity. Money talks.

The game played out as you’d expect. Death spirals, hopeless situations (such as the only available space being the one after the highest card 104) and impossibly lucky escapes. Katy bemoaned her bad luck but that was mostly because she couldn’t work out if she’d actually picked up cards or not. Turns out she did okay.

Katy 47 (points left out of 66)
Steve 45
Ian 35
Martin 30
Sam 18
Anja 8
Adam 8
Andrew 2
Joe -1

Then we split into groups, after Steve vetoed the idea of him and Anja playing as a team in Incan Gold. Katy, Martin, Joe and I chose Tichu, at Katy’s suggestion while the others played… Incan Gold. Of course.

Since they stayed on Discord and we decamped to Google Hangouts, I have no idea what happened on the other “table” but here are the scores:

Sam 31
Adam 22 (least thinky, according to the website)
Ian 19
Anja 15 (most thinky)
Steve 13

They also played Codenames, but I know nothing about that.

As for Tichu, Katy needed a rules refresher, so it was very good that Martin made sure to turn the timer off. Joe and I took full advantage of Katy’s cautiousness and ran into a 250-50 lead after round two. Then Katy called Tichu and handed the Dragon card to Martin, causing him to erupt with bafflement (if such a thing is possible). But after a tricky start, they came back into it and actually got within one card of winning (Martin had completed his Tichu and Katy just had one card to put down for a 1-2 finish) but Joe and I just got across the line.

J & A 490
M & K 410

Then Sam, Joe and Steve all left so the remaining gamers all gathered on Google Hangouts and played Just One.

We didn’t do nearly as well as last time, and it’s probably best if we skip over any details, but I will mention Katy correctly guessing “Revolution” and crediting Anja’s “Televised” as being the key clue (as opposed to my “Beatles” and Adam’s “Vodka”)

Score: 4 (try again and again…)

And with that we were done. Time to shut down and go straight to bed.

Duplicating pansies

Covid 19 continues to dog the land and so z for the third time, we met up virtually again for our weekly fix. Ian, Katy, Sam, Martin, Joe and myself used the full force of technology to simulate leaving the house.

We began with Codenames using a basic but functional website and it worked pretty well. The teams were Blue (Martin, Sam and me) against Red (Joe, Katy and Ian).

I was called away for the first round to try and fix my girlfriend's monitor and by the time I got back, I discovered Katy and Ian pondering Joe’s clue of “masturbation, two” (the two answers were “hand” and “pants”).

Katy got the yips over clicking on squares to advance the game after she accidentally revealed an opposing team’s clue and all of us had reason to pause over who was clicking what and was it okay to go on. This caused Joe to go into a lengthy reverie about how similar it must be for those manning the button for nuclear missiles. "Shall I do it?" "Now? Is that okay?"

In the last round when I was spymaster, I managed to overlook that fact that “fly” is an insect whereas my intended target “spider” wasn’t. Happily, I managed to recover with clues like “Halo” for “Angel” and “Crown.”

Blue 2
Red 1

After this Sam left for an early night and the remaining five of us eschewed specialised websites and instead played Just One on Google Hangouts. We all got our own stationary and Martin noted that his pen didn’t work properly “which is par for the course in this game.” I duplicated often, which at least gave us two bonus points for correctly guessing the eliminated words. Joe managed to guess (somehow) that, for the clue “flower”, Katy and I both wrote “pansy”. It was suprising enough when I saw Katy had read my mind, but pretty astonishing when Joe did it too.

We did very well. It would’ve been perfect but Katy wasn’t able to match Martin’s clue “greased” with the target word “lightning”. When it was explained that it was a song in the musical Grease, she said she’d always thought it was “Grease Lightning”. How we laughed.

Score: GNN bonus point method: 14. Off the scorechart! Official method: 12. “Incredible!”

Then Katy wanted one more game to play before she went off to watch her gig in twenty minutes. After that, she said, the four of us could go and play Tichu. The silence that followed told her that, actually, she may as well go now. Taking the hint, she departed to spend some quality time with her favourite band.

The remaining four of us upped sticks and set off for a website where we can play Tichu. Early on we ran into an issue: every move was restricted by a timer. Martin didn’t notice and immediately got a “slow play 1/3” warning. This rather strict aspect meant that going to the toilet had to be carefully timed. Next we found another slight issue: Auto-fold meant that the site automatically made a player pass if they didn’t have a hand strong enough to compete.This meant that bluffing was almost impossible. So we turned it off until Joe needed to go to the toilet and he turned it back on again.

But we put these down as minor teething troubles. That was until Ian picked up his third Slow Play warning and the game suddenly ended. And that was that. Nothing we could do - we had just angered the Tichu Gods and there was no button to click to make it all right.

I’m pretty sure that Joe and Martin were winning when the game ended. We then acquainted ourselves with how judgmental the site can be by looking over the list of “cheaters” and “leavers” that are available to peruse on the site. How odd.

But the best thing for me was that I have Tichu on my phone and I changed the names of the AI opponents to Martin, Ian and Joe and here I was in exactly the same situation. They were ever sitting in the same place! Living the dream, baby!

And that was the end of the evening. We turned off our cams and went to bed. Thanks all. Let’s try it all again soon.