This is beef shit

As is usual, I arrive late for our now-normal virtual games night and I'm into a six player game of For Sale (against Martin, Adam T, Katy, Ian and Sam) before I've even worked out how to get the chat working in Discord.

You would think that playing the first game mute and deaf would be an advantage since I'd have fewer distractions, but no. I came last.

Katy 59
Martin 55
Sam 51
Ian 40
Adam 38
Andrew 37

We were waiting for Joe to arrive and, as I manage to get things working my end, we decide to play For Sale again. Adam managed to get invited into someone else's game which he then had to leave, while regretting that this would probably spoil his "good" rating.

This time most of us that Katy was winning during the game since she picked up two, maybe three, high cards in the bidding phase but instead we had the closest result I think we've ever seen on For Sale, with both first and last being decided by tie breakers.

Ian 44 (more cash)
Martin 44 (no cash)
Katy 43
Andrew 41
Sam 40 (more cash)
Adam 40 (less cash)

Then Joe arrived and we decided to play Codenames. At this point Andy B (otherwise distracted by an online gig) was seen on Discord and our Google Hangouts but, although he could see the Codenames board, he couldn't hear us or speak to us, which is kind of vital. As it was, he went back to his gig (or to his riverside beer, if his avatar was anything to go by) and the rest of us carried on with our uneven teams.

Adam, Ian and I were in a comfortable 4-2 lead when we passed, thinking that they'd never get four clues in one go. Upsettingly, Martin's clue of "playground, three” got them across the line.

Martin, Joe, Katy, Sam, win
Adam, Ian, Andrew, don't


Then the seven of us played good old 7 Wonders. Katy had only played it once before and got a lightning fast rules refresher that left her with only twenty seconds left on the clock to make her first move.

Joe remarked in round three that he had fewest points and no money. A tricky situation. Plus, he was in a long and bloody war against Sam. Other noteworthy tactics were Ian's love of science and Adam's fondness for bricks. I went down the pacifist route until round three but it was Martin's recourse-light approach the won the day.

Martin 69
Andrew 54
Adam 54
Ian 50
Sam 46
Katy 45
Joe 45

After 7 Wonders we took it down a notch and played 6nimmt. We remarked that the negative points you pick up during the game actually have names: beef heads. Or, to be exact, beef head(s). Adam was particularly peeved by this short cut, pointing out that it only needed one extra line of code to differentiate between one beef head and multiple beef heads. The game clearly took offence at this as he received plenty much beef head(s).

But never mind beef head(s), “this is beef shit,” Joe cursed as another pile of head(s) rolled into his lap and Ian must have felt the same as he picked up 21 in one go. Martin ended up a winner with Katy appalled that she didn’t even manage second, despite leading for so long.

Martin 47 points remaining
Andrew 34
Katy 33
Sam 21
Ian 10
Joe 7
Adam -10

Then Katy, Joe and Sam left. The remaining four of us considered Quantum, but decided it was too late. Instead we went for a 500 point game of Tichu. I was teamed with Martin while approx newbie Adam was paired up with Ian. As we began Martin made the observation that in the last two games he’d played online, one the the two teams ended up with minus points.

Adam’s mix of innocence and bravado caused him to call Tichu on his first hand, only to discover the trick he wanted to start with was illegal. He immediately began to voice second thoughts. I, on the other hand, had a dream hand: a high full house, three tens, a straight flush bomb, and a two. I also called Tichu and went out easily.

In round two, Ian failed his Tichu and Martin succeeded on his, meaning the scores were 470 to -170. With only thirty points separating Martin and I from victory, Adam decided it was time to make some bold moves. He called Grand Tichu. He failed, but Martin and I only scored twenty points that round and the game extended into one final (surely) round. Ian called Grand Tichu and failed, with his team mate Adam actually going out first when it was clear that Ian wasn’t going to do it.

Martin and Andrew 565
Ian and Adam -465

What a remarkable way to end another remarkable evening. Thanks all.