Fire in the Hole

Whilst civilisations rose and fell at Martin's house, Chris, Adam and I were occupied with the rather less epic business of wood-cutting in Lignum.

As previously explained, over two years we spend spring summer and fall gathering equipment and hiring workers, before cutting, bearing, milling and selling or drying. Or putting aside for burning in winter - wherever Lignum takes place, clearly the winters are harsh and unforgiving.

Much like the spinning wheels of Lignum itself, where each season is a miniature puzzle of cog-joining. Chris said a flow chart of how the system works at the end of each season would be really helpful. So I did a Star Wars themed one over breakfast today:

Feel free to print it out, Chris.

As well as Lignum's how-far-should-I-go dilemma of travelling the path along the forest, there's also the dilemma of where to go cutting in the forest. As players simultaneously reveal their decisions, there's always the possibility that you'll double up with someone else, as Chris did with both Adam and I on separate occasions. Adam said it was the one part of the game he didn't like.

As the seasons turned, we hatched schemes for the future with the catchily-titled Planned Work, took Tasks to complete and were regaled with Chris' seemingly endless supply of dad jokes. "I'm a dad" he told Stan. "It's allowed".

When winter came we were all able to eat and keep warm. Nobody did much logging though - we didn't have any sleds. All of us completed two tasks each, and I thought Chris might have nabbed a win when thanks to his planned work he milled up no less than six tree trunks on the final round and sold the lot. But his tasks were less valuable than mine, monetarily speaking, and Adam had only completed one- wait a minute! There's Adam, completing his second task on the last turn of the game. Adam!!!

Adam 66
Sam 60
Chris 48

Whew! It was over, and hadn't taken an age. But had we enjoyed it? Adam seemed to still be making up his mind. Chris said it scratched a similar itch as many other games, without outshining them. So far it's only me who seems to really like Lignum. Maybe I can convince someone else to give it a whirl...

At Adam's suggestion we followed up with an old favourite in Tsuro.

It's been ages since this game of confused dragons hit the table, and it was nice to revisit it. But it didn't last long - Chris and I (with some help from Adam) expired at the same time as we reeled off the board. Adam still had tiles to spend and space to spend them in...

Adam wins
Sam/Chris die simultaneously

And we finished with another game of agonising decisions in NMBR9, which has also been lesser-seen albeit for a shorter expanse of time. As with previous plays, the agonising was audible. I placed too much emphasis on getting a four, and waited too long to change plans. Adam stared at the table accusingly, like an angry owl. Chris sailed to victory.

Chris 99
Adam 79
Sam 75

It was so breezy after all the wood-carrying and pattern-forming that we breezed through again, and this time the agonising was mostly coming from Chris' direction, as he had a hole on level zero that compromised everything he built above it. I was hoping for a victory, but my much-improved score wasn't as much-improved as Adams:

Adam 99
Sam 97
Chris 71

And with that, we were done!

Tales from the Tepidarium

After a week in which Bristol staggered along, confused and angry, under a relentless sun like a deserter from the Foreign Legion fleeing across the Sahara, the regular Time Of Crisis cohort gathered this Friday (a year and a week since our first ever game!) with the promise of storms in the offing. If not in the sky, then surely on the table.

We began swiftly and almost silently, with Martin’s daughter still stirring upstairs. Joe started in his beloved Pannonia, me in Gallia, Martin in Macedonia and Ian in Africa.

Everyone except me (with three blue, two yellow) went for the classic opening of three blue, two red. Joe expanded into Thracia, me into Hispania, Martin into Asia and Ian leapt across the board and arrived in Britannia.

After this, Joe reinforced Thracia and built a Limes. I boosted support in Hispania (“Tapas for everyone!”) and built an army in Gallia. Martin and Ian both built a Basilica and hired a general.

A nomad wandered into Egypt, and Joe – with a hand of cards that was “somewhat blue-heavy,” as he put it – hired a governor, got voted into Egypt and paid tribute the nomad there. I boosted support in Gallia and hired a governor. I did not try to take another neutral province, deciding that would weaken the neutral Emperor in Rome and I’d just be leaving the door to the Senate open for someone else. This turned out to be a good move.

Martin was also blue-heavy, but was unsure of his chances against the neutral Emperor. He didn’t want to take a neutral province for the same reasons I didn’t, so he got himself voted into Joe’s Egypt instead. In all the excitement about Martin’s attack, we completely overlooked his decision to build an army there: the Legio XXII Primigenia. In many ways, this minor event was the defining move of Martin’s game, as shall become clear later.

Ian also postponed his attempt at becoming Emperor, instead he bought a new governor and got himself voted into neutral Galatia. The Emperor was now weakened! Could Joe capitalise?

But Joe had no blues in his hand. Martin was slightly incredulous. “Those are the cards you picked? Interesting,” he said in a tone of voice usually reserved for people who’ve decided to wear a suit with the jacket sleeves rolled up. Instead, Joe went to war. He built a brand new army and sent it into battle against a lone Frank. Alas, they (ie, Martin) rolled 6-6-3, rendering his Flanking Manoeuvre useless since his centurions were all dead anyway. We remarked that this must be the shortest lived army in Time Of Crisis history. Not so much “Veni, vedi, vici,” more “built, fought, died.”

I, however, did have some blues. I reinforced my spare army in Gallia, moved it into Rome and easily got voted in. I was the first Emperor at 8.43pm!

The heat of the kitchen was enough that Martin had had to go and get a fan from another room, which was enough to circulate the sticky air and give us a little respite. Which was more than the game was doing.

Martin had 6 blue and 3 red cards, but still looked doubtful about his chances in Rome. He was distracted by the potential points salad in Syria, currently home to three Sassanid hordes. And if that wasn’t enough, there was my very popular but undefended Hispania. He moved his XXIInd Legion across the Mediterranean and put them in Madrid. He needed four votes to unseat me and he used three blues. He failed, luckily for me.

Three more Sassanid hordes piled into Egypt, from where Martin had just moved his army. How we chuckled.

Ian beat Nomads in Egypt and built an army in Galatia before the next Crisis Roll brought yet more Sassanids into the game. “We’re going to run out at this rate,” exclaimed Martin.

Joe unseated Martin in Egypt and built an army there, tributing the Sassanids in the process.

I got a stroke of luck: I’d been dreading a rival leader being drawn from the event deck, and one happened right now. But it was Postumus who appeared rather foolishly in my heartland, Gallia. I killed him easily and then boosted support in Hispania up to 4, even though it fell right back down to 3 again thanks to the presence of Martin’s XXIInd Legion there. I figured it would still be strong enough to win an election. Martin insisted to Ian and Joe that I had to be stopped.

Now a Priest King arrived in Syria, along with its three Sassanid hordes and lone remaining neutral governor. This meant no one could chalk up any Emperor Turns on the scoretrack, which I wasn’t hugely bothered about since I already had two while everyone else had none.

Martin had two blue, two red and one yellow. He sent his XXIInd from Hispania into Gallia to attack me, but we drew with one hit each, so he failed. Ian, meanwhile, had three red and three blue. He had kind of an unproductive move and ended his turn with the complaint that he had “governors coming out of my arse.”

Joe beat the Sassanids in Egpyt, and hovered indecisively over whether or not to use a Flanking Manouevre to win by a greater margin for more points. “Are you going to bottle it?” Martin taunted. Joe would not be goaded and played safe. Then he tried to get voted into my very popular Hispania, but failed.

I foederatied a Frank and popped over the Channel to beat Ian’s army there and become governor too. Ian entered a slough of despond at this, but it was the right thing to do. I now had four provinces and was still Emperor. Martin insisted that I really needed to be stopped, like, right now.

He did his bit by taking his XXIInd Legion from Gallia, sending them South to Africa, picking up a Nomad, going back to Hispania and, using five dice, he successfully got four votes to become governor there.

More Sassanid hordes flooded into Egypt, obviously looking for their friends who’d gone there earlier.

Ian, in an understandable act of spite, put a mob in Britannia and boosted support and put a militia in Galatia.

Martin insisted I must be attacked, but Joe had troubles of his own. He attacked those newly arrived Sassanids, but lost 1-3. “Martin! I didn’t ask you to roll the dice!” he exclaimed, since this was now the second time he’d been on the wrong end of Martin’s capricious luck.

I cleared the mob in Britannia, hired a new general and, with nothing better to do with a spare blue point, I tried to get voted into Asia. I failed.

Martin and Joe bickered over whether I should be attacked in Britannia or Gallia. In the end, Martin chose Britannia and the XXIInd Legion had to move out again and head to new lands. They couldn’t defeat me (another 1-1 draw), though, and they were getting a bit of a reputation as a much-travelled but largely-useless band of soldiers. Martin got voted into Britannia, even though he lost it immediately, just to weaken me.

Despite the presence of the Priest King in (the still untouched) Syria, Ian had his eyes on the prize! He sent his army from Africa into Rome and defeated me, 3 hits to nil. He then just scraped into Rome, needing to avoid a double one, he rolled 5-1. A new emperor!

Martin was delighted at this result as I finally fell from grace, although he almost immediately expressed regret that I hadn’t done at least some damage to Ian’s army: A remarkably swift change in his loyalties.

Joe took Hispania from me and built an army there. He then beat the Sassanids in Egpyt 3-0. A good move, only slightly spoilt by the next Crisis Roll putting Zenobia into Egypt, clearly looking for the two previous bands of Sassanids who’d last been seen going this way and hadn’t been heard from since.

I got voted into Britannia but couldn’t win an election in Hispania. Then I repaired my armies and left Italia, retreating back into Gallia.

Martin looked fretful, with everywhere well defended. He decided to take on that rogue state, Syria. He moved his army from Asia, got voted in, and then killed the Priest King for a support boost there.

Now that Asia was undefended Emperor Ian got himself voted in. He killed a Goth horde in Galatia and then built an army in Africa and moved it into Egypt to attack Zenobia. But she hit back with a bunch of sixes while Ian couldn’t land a single hit. He didn’t care about the fate of his army, he just wanted her dead for the Emperor Turn on the scoretrack. She’s made of sterner stuff and we all remarked how she was our favourite rival leader in the game.

Ian pondered his next hand for a while, maintaining an anguished monologue while Joe discussed his next move. At this point the scores were Ian 44, Andrew 41, Joe 35, Martin 30.

Joe abandoned Egypt, not wanting to kill Zenobia since that would only help Ian. Instead he invaded Africa and beat Ian’s army there 3-2. Finally he boosted support in Egypt on the off chance it’d still be his when it was his next turn.

I reinforced an army on Gallia with it’s third legion and then foederatied another Frank before moving and attacking Ian in Rome. I lost 3-2. So I took the blue points that I was saving for the election in Rome and used them to get a governor into Asia. Not a happy move.

Martin took his XXIInd legion and sent them to Rome, picking up a Frank along the way. He attacked Ian and finally they came good! Thanks to me weakening them, I expect.

Martin became the evening’s third Emperor at 10.47pm. He was then voted into Egypt and moved an army from Syria into Egypt to attack Zenobia. Like Ian, he just needed her dead, just one hit: he rolled a one. He flinched visibly. He blamed the fold in the board for changing what was certainly going to be a three. However, instead of a glorious new Empire, he immediately lost Egpyt and got no Emperor Turn.

Ian attacked Sassanids in Syria, and then got voted in there. He also won an election in Asia, a region that seemed to change hands pretty frequently.

The scores were Ian 51, Andrew 45, Joe 42, Martin 38 when Joe went on a rampage. He beat Franks in Pannonia (four points!) and Nomads in Africa (three points!) and deposed Ian in Africa. He was on 55 points and took a long time choosing his next hand.

If I could score fifteen points, though, all that deliberation would be for nought, since the game would end with Ian and Joe wouldn’t get another turn. I attacked and killed Franks in Gallia, then killed Martin’s (by now) beloved XXIInd legion in Rome, although it was close. A noble end to a remarkable story. I become Emperor, and was voted into Asia, too.

However, the presence of Zenobia on the board knocked one point off my score for the round and I could only get fourteen points! I stalled at 59. Joe would have his chance. I looked at him and he took a sip of beer like someone already toasting his victory.

At this point, both Ian and Martin had three governors off the board. Martin only had Macedonia to his name and an army in Egypt. With 4 red, 3 blue and 1 useless yellow, he got voted into Egypt, and then into Asia (obviously). He simply had to kill Zenobia and finally did so, although she got in three hits as she fell, leaving Martin with just one legion in Egpyt.

Ian had been mumbling about his shit hand since he’d picked them and revealed 3 blue and 3 yellow. He got voted into Asia, because why not, and then boosted support in Syria. Now it was Joe’s turn.

Joe, who’d been suspiciously silent since I’d failed to end the game, now showed his hand of 8 red and 8 blue, including a Damnatio Memoriae and two (two!) Pretorian Guards. He moved his army from Pannonia into Rome and beat me 5-2. He became Emperor with a support level of five, so he damned my memory to the tune of five points. And that was just the start. He fought Nomads and Allamani and, all the while, sixes fell from his hands like pine needles from an aging Christmas tree. It was a move that, in total, got him 28 points, triggering the end of the game.

I had but little hope. I reinforced my army in Gallia with two more legions and then fought Joe in Rome. I won 5-1, but I still needed 7 votes with 5 blue points to become Emperor. I failed. I’m on 58, actually one point worse than I had when I ended my previous turn.

Martin, in distant last, had 6 red, 6 blue and another useless single yellow. “What can I do that’s fun,” he pondered. He took his previously immobile army from Macedonia, picked up a couple of barbarians along the way, and beat me in Rome. He then beat Joe in Egypt. With a Basilica, he had seven dice for seven votes to become Emperor. He did it! Finally, he got his Emperor Turn.

Ian had a formidable 11 red, 4 blue and 3 yellow selection of cards to end with. He was voted into Africa for the basilica there and we started to wonder if there was a way he could actually overtake Joe. Ian thought about his options and, in the end, went for the lass-safe but more-rewarding path. “Go big or go home,” said Martin. Considering the late hour, Ian replied that he’d go big and then go home.

He beat Sassanids for five points, but lost to Goths in Galatia. He did become Emperor for that all important Emperor Turn, putting him joint second with Martin and Joe. And, as a last delightful touch, he damned ex-Emperor Martin’s memory, knocking him even further back into last.

Joe 85
Ian 76
Andrew 68
Martin 52

Another astonishing game. My early promise dissipated, while Ian dug himself out of a hole mid-game. Joe’s quiet planning culminated in two blistering final turns that got him 43 points and a record high score. Only Martin never got a grip on the game, but at least he has the tale of the XXIInd legion to tell his grandchildren.

No thunderstorms outside, but inside we had a tempest big enough to tear a continent into four. Thanks all. It was special, as always.

Don't blame it on the sunshine

This week's GNN was a sparse affair, with neither the two planet system of Joe and Andrew present nor the orbiting moons of other, lesser-spotted gamers. It was so sparse we moved it to Wednesday to avoid it not happening at all, and come 7.30 there was just Martin, Ian and myself (Sam) sat at the table. Martin asked Stan if he was joining us, but he was happy wrestling a cushion by himself in the front room. I blame Fortnite.

After some brief rumination, and some scathing disdain from Martin over Lignum, we paradoxically started the evening with another tree-related game: Photosynthesis.

Rules-wise it's rather simple. Plant your seeds, grow them into saplings, then mature trees, then grand old redwood-style giants, before completing the cycle of life by degrading them into points. Each tree on the board potentially gets you light points, which are your currency to be spent doing the botanical doings you want to do. But there are a couple of catches - the first being that all your green-fingered activity doesn't actually get you any points - only ending a tree's life does, and doing so sacrifices your biggest light-earner. The other catch is that each tree casts shade - depending on what other trees are around you, and the position of the sun, even the biggest tree may collect no light points at all - something we all found to our chagrin at one point or another: no light points, no photosynthesis.

So whilst the rules are light, the implementation gave plenty of pause for thought, and Martin regularly cajoled Ian into taking his turn. I also cajoled Martin, but then it transpired it was my turn, so I had to cajole myself instead. Martin realised he'd spread his seed too much, and Ian and I managed to keep relatively straight faces.

After three cycles of the sun moving around the board, the game is over. My decision to recycle my big trees faster, but in the lower-return outside edges of the forest, worked out nicely. Martin blamed his defeat on buying "too many fucking seeds" and "this stupid tree".

Sam 80
Ian 70
Martin 69

The verdict was broadly positive, though we all agreed a second play would hopefully bring the play-time down, as we had sailed a little past 90 minutes.

Next up was the Shipwreck Arcana, the co-operative game of working out how to play the rules best so as to give out the most information. Andrew explained it better than I ever could here.

We began by forgetting some rules and restarted, but then sailed to victory in a reasonable degree of time, mostly thanks to Martin's unflappable cognitive power - for every card Ian and I scrutinised, he was computing at least three. In fact in the final round Martin did everything to identify Ian's fate, whilst I tried to figure out how to quieten the incessant buzzing of my fridge, which was becoming more interactive than Dirk. Turning it off and on again only worked for five minutes.

Shipwreck Arcana - we win! Mostly thanks to Martin.

My shipwreck arcana tiles, thematically scavenged from elsewhere

What next? The night was comparatively late, but not so late that we couldn't agree on a 45-minuter before finishing off with The Mind. With little debate, we settled on Azul, reasoning that we should mark its Spiel Des Jahres success with a play.

I began terribly, deciding to go for a twin strategy of columns and all-chewits. Neither worked - despite not being sat to the left of Martin, he still found ways to screw me over, and trying to fill the tricky bottom row early on in the rounds quickly proved a misguided notion. Martin and I both made a column quickly, but Martin had done it scoring more points, and placing two extra tiles. Ian bemoaned his "lack of a column" but was scoring more than me on the board, and held something of an ace up his sleeve.

In what proved to be the final round, both Martin and I were going for the black Axminster tiles and Ian picked two of them up, meaning not only did he trigger the end of the game, he'd also filled all his black tile spaces. Oh, and he got columns as well. Could he catch up with Martin? It couldn't have been closer!

Martin/Ian 69
Sam 46

A quick check of the rules left Martin appalled, as Ian won on the tie-breaker. I can't remember what it was now.

Ian 69
Martin 69
Sam 46

It could have been closer!

Ian's outrageous tile grab, round five

So, onto The Mind. By now the whisky and gin were flowing, and we were scattergun enough to crash on burn on level 2. Level two!! Pathetic. We dealt the cards again, and focused. This time things improved dramatically, with all of us seemingly reaching a point of near-telepathic communication. Ian seemed to be living two lives at the same time, staring intently at his cards with his id whilst his more trivial consciousness said aloud, apropos nothing, "Mmmmmmmm.... Thursday tomorrow" He remarked at one point that the buzzing of the fridge seemed to add to the tension. It did sound like some Aronofsky soundtrack.

We hit level 12 with two lives remaining. We lost a life on level 12. We completed level 12!

With a single life remaining, we turned to the Dark Mind - could we take our synchronicity and turn it into something bigger, greater as a sum than its component parts? No we could not. We crashed and burned on level one. Then we cheated and started again. Failed again. Then we cheated and started again. We did it! Then we failed on level 2, and by now even The Mind's greatest champions and most blatant cheaters had to take the hint.

Light Mind Level 12 - passed!
Dark Mind Level 1 - Failed!

A great night. Ian and Martin made their way home as I returned my attention to the fridge. Until next week!

Logging a Play

Monday. Unable to cajole any gamers to the house, and with Stan off to pastures new (music? pah) I decided to play through Lignum - the game of wood-drying!

Okay it's not just drying wood. There's loads of other stuff going on too, like chopping wood, carrying wood, selling wood, and finding a saw in the forest, with which you can saw wood.

The rather complex game was complexified still further by the fact the woodcarriers in the rulebook are green and the ones in the box were purple. The purple was very similar to the brown woodcutters, meaning it was easy to confuse them - especially in a forest as dark as this.

Your objective is to be the richest logger at the end of the game, and there are only two ways to make money - selling wood from your shop, and completing tasks, which could be thought of as orders from a remote customer. You can sell any wood you like, but you'll make more money off hardwood and you'll make more money if you hire a sawyer to mill it. And of course, you'll make more money if your wood is dry - the dryer the better.

The game plays rather like Wallenstein, only without the fighting/card reveals/cube tower. Over two years you head out into the forest and have three seasons to maximise your returns, before the onset of winter. When the snows arrive, not only are wood returns minimal at best, you also need to burn wood to stay warm (and eat food. But you don't worry about food in the other seasons, when I guess you're grazing the shrubs as you make your way through the forest)

In the forest then there's a path that all players make their way along. There are specific locations where you can hire the aforementioned cutters, carriers, and sawyers, and also places to claim a task for yourself, or do planned work, which will give you a juicy benefit in the future.

The reason you might skip over the planned work (and other spots) however is that you can go as far as you like along the path, and you might want to grab something further ahead. Taking your time can work, hoovering up what others have left behind, but it's less likely to prove successful than the 'strolling' tactic in Heaven and Ale, where you feel the pressure lift as everyone races off ahead of you and abandon the point-scoring opportunities in favour of triggering shed rewards. Why? Because Lignum is all about the planning. After everyone reaches the end of the path, all the woody stuff you collected can be activated - cutters cut, carriers carry, sawyers saw and your millworker - you only have one! - can do any one of these things, but only one. Your strolling along picking up leftovers might well blow up in your face at this point, as you find you have sawyers with no saws, carriers with no mode of transport (they can still carry, but far less effectively) or even cutters with nothing to cut!

The cutting is where Lignum gets a bit feisty. The forest that the path snakes around contains six cutting areas which grow a little more foresty over each season. At the start of each season players choose secretly which cutting area they're taking their woodcutters to, and if players choose the same area then turn order decides who cuts first - and that's another reason why strolling up the path could backfire, as if you're last to a cutting area you might find all that's left is some crappy pine.

You can pay a dollar to move your cutters to another area, but money in Lignum is exceedingly tight - as well as being the victory condition it's also - inevitably - required to hire workers and buy equipment during the game. And if winter comes and you're short of food or firewood, there are rather debilitating punishments as you're forced to pay top dollar to make up the shortfall.

The potential saviour in such a tight economy is the existence of crafts. In what is a bit of a thematic stretch, developing three crafts allows you to turn them into huts, which can function, essentially, as extra workers or speedy drying techniques. Because crafts are free to develop and workers are paid, this can be a boon - but on the other hand while you're casually picking up craft tokens in the forest, others might be grabbing other stuff you need!

I liked Lignum. It's maybe not a Tuesday night game - Martin would rather have needles in his eyes - but I'd be keen to revisit it some other night, perhaps with all of us wearing plaid. Outside of one or two thematic idiosyncrasies, it all makes sense and I found it less complicated to learn and play than its BGG rating. An initially dry-Euro impression gave way to a tension on the board that I can imagine would only increase with more players - watching wood dry was more fun than it sounded.

Pyramid Schemes

"Sam's at seven thirty" was the call heeded by six over-excitable board gamers this week. Apart from Sam, there were Joe, Martin, Ian, Andy M, and me. Andy hadn't arrived when we were all around the table, so we avoided any awkward silences (or even more awkward conversations) with one round of Texas Showdown. It couldn't have been closer.

Sam 2
Andrew 2
Joe 2
Ian 3
Martin 3

With Andy's arrival, we split into two groups of three. Joe, Sam and Ian chose a new game, Welcome To Centerville. It is by GMT, the same company that gave us Time Of Crisis but, Joe assured everybody, not nearly as complicated.

Martin, Andy and I chose Azul. It was new to Andy but he'd seen it being played before and was intrigued. And so the kitchen hummed to the sound of two simultaneous rules explanations. One was somewhat shorter than the other and before to long, we'd made a start on Azul.

I got off to a flier because, being the starting player, I picked up a set of four with my first turn. A nice way to begin and one that Andy referenced whenever he played a spoiling move against me, saying he couldn't really forgive me for it.

We ploughed on amiably, and reached round three just as the other half of the table were beginning their game. I found Welcome To Centerville impenetrable, and couldn't follow their talk of benches and rivers. I was, however, very appreciative of the pitta crisps that Ian had brought.

Azul ended in the fifth round, and you can imagine my delight at the final scores.

Andrew 62
Martin 61
Andy 54

And well done to Andy on his debut. Last, but a decent haul of points.

When asked about their progress, Joe stated that they were about a third of the way through. In that case we chose a medium game, with Ra being the preferred option.

Another new game for Andy and he admitted little experience with auction games. In round one, Andy went big on monuments, I went for rivers and Martin had a little bit of everything thanks to a very lucky final auction when he was the only one left.

If that weren't enough, he began round two with tiles of 2-11-12-13. A fortunate situation. I broke out the wasabi crisps that Sam kept eating, just for the experience. There was also a moment of discomfort when Ian's and my hands touched as we both reached for crisps. We reacted like grown ups, though: swiftly retracting and saying "urgh!"

Ra ended with a bit of a trouncing. Much as I want to put it all down to luck, it probably isn't.

Martin 68
Andrew 40
Andy 31

Since Welcome To Centerville was only just entering the end-game (or "just-screw-me-over time," according to Ian) , we filled the time with a game of The Mind. We reached round five and my only notes about the game read "a very fraught experience."

Centerville finished...

Sam 105
Joe 57
Ian 55

What was Sam's secret? Hopefully he'll tell all in the comments.

Next, as a six, we went for Decrypto. Martin, Joe and Sam (team name: Prasynki (approx)) versus Ian, Andy and I (Up Yer Bum). Sam failed to tell an anecdote about his son since it involved a complicated four way conversation that he couldn't remember properly.

Round one, all clear. In round two our guesses were of an entirely speculative nature. 'Just throwing maggots in the river, " I said.

But then we made a mistake. Ian and I thought Andy's clue of "BMX" referred to "joy" when in fact it was "Extra Terrestrial" the film. You see.

But then they made a mistake! But then they got an interception. It was very close and required some deep thinking. Clue-giver Martin assured Joe that he had enough time to poo before the clues would be ready.

In round six, Up Yer Bum were finally discovered thanks to another interception and so our trans Europe network of spies was ruined. To make things worse Prasynki pretty much got each of our words while we were largely clueless about theirs. A sound beating.

Joe, Ian and Martin left but I was persuaded to stay for one more: Bandu. A typically tense affair with lots of "Bandu Breathing" (turning your head up and away to exhale after placing a particularly difficult piece).

I was just out first and then it was a ding-dong battle between Sam and Andy, involving extensive use of coins. Finally, Andy's edifice was the first to crumble.

1. Sam
2. Andy
3. Andrew

Finally, at 11.45pm, I left, but Sam and Andy had one more game in them. It was Avenue. I got a text the next day from Sam with the scores and the news that it ended at half past midnight. Amazing scenes.

Andy 52
Sam 33

Thanks all for another night of adventure.

Ages and Ages

A Friday evening had been pre-arranged to give three hardy gamers: Sam, Joe and myself, a decent chance to try Through The Ages, an epic of a game taking in the entire sweep of human history.

I got to Joe’s at 7.30 and the game was already set up. Sam talked us through the rules, due to a handy six-page crib sheet of all the salient points of the game. It’s a bit of a monster, and it involves expanding your population (yellow cubes) and your resources (blue cubes) in tandem so that your society never runs out or has too many of either. In order to do this, you can expand/upgrade your buildings which give you boosts in science or culture which, in turn, allows you to upgrade to more buildings. This happens across four stages: the short Antiquity stage followed by the main meat of the game: Ages 1, 2 and 3.

We began by weighing up our options with leaders (“Homer looks nice.”) which would give us special abilities. Sam and I made a pact, allowing Sam to turn one resource in a food and me to turn a food into a resource. Joe discovered iron early on, but fell behind on sciences.

I came up with a tactic, in which I worked out that two soldiers were better than one. Then Sam thought of a better tactic that had three soldiers in it.

As we moved through the first age, I fell behind in military so I invented knights. Couldn’t come up with a tactic that involved them, though. I guess they just went into battle willy-nilly. Joe came up with the scientific method while Sam’s population were very happy with their Hanging Gardens and Great Wall.

Time was ticking on, though, and as the second age dawned it was almost ten o’clock. We decided to finish at half past, since the game hadn’t grabbed us and show no signs of picking up speed the more we went on. Luckily for me, my leader was Christopher Columbus who allowed me to discover an island I had in my hand of cards. This “Historic Island” (with electric lighting, if the illustration was anything to go by) got me 11 culture points, putting me in an unassailable lead. The final two rounds played out in a perfunctory manner, with the charms of the game never quite justifying it’s slow progress. Sam thought that Historia scratched a similar itch in half the time while Joe thought it had made the historical events a little too abstract for his liking. I think that’s what he meant, anyway.

We packed the game away, keen for something silly to finish off with. We chose Castle Crush as it’s a game that rarely gets the attention it deserves. It satisfies the desires to create and destroy. We built our little castles for our king and general.

Mine did so well in round one that I more or less kept the same design for the next two rounds, too. Almost worked, except one decisive blow at the end sent my king flying.

Sam’s third round edifice was his strongest, keeping his two meeples safely ensconced.

Meanwhile, Joe managed to put a level three block in his building for six bonus points at the end.

Nice to revisit this game after so long.

Joe 75
Andrew 66
Sam 63

Finally, we introduced Sam to the game of Wordsy. With Sam’s fondness for Boggle, we were expecting it to be a hit, but instead Sam found it rather stressful. Perhaps it was the late hour and he was too fatigued after Through The Ages. He still did well, though.

Andrew 116 (best word “Friendship,” 25 points)
Sam 109 (“Requesting,” 23 points)
Joe 105 (“Masquerading,” 23 points)

And so, we were done. What an experience. It’s hard to see when we’ll find the time for a full game of Through The Ages, but it was nice to give it a try. Thanks all.

It's a bunny old game

The unstoppable influence of football was felt once again here at GNN. England's game tomorrow meant Martin couldn't attend since he can't be out two evenings in a week. Then Laura's other half was out playing football so she was able to host. Finally, the TV in the kitchen showed the France-Belgium game for those who were interested.

There were only four of us (Laura, Sam, Ian and me), and Laura had requested something a bit longer and more substantial than she'd previously played. Out of the selection that Sam had brought, she was immediately drawn to Bunny Kingdom. Well, she was eating carrots at the time so how could she resist?

Sam gave a rules explanation to her (and a rules refresher for Ian and I) and we were off. Before long we realised a couple of things had been placed in the wrong sort of terrain. Even in this early stage, it was too much to start again so we carried on, ignoring the rule about placement and location. This gave rise to such rare items as mountain fish and forest pearls, but it didn't exactly break the game.

Ian started off by building a very long, thin fief with only one empty square between the two halves of this kingdom. Laura stayed mostly in one part of the board and got mine and Sam's approval when she blocked Ian's thin kingdoms from unifying. Sam dotted his rabbits all over the place and, near the end, he spent some time trying to work out if joining two fiefs would get him more points or less. I got lucky with my cards, and built a large fief in one corner, connecting to my other rabbits by use of two sky towers.

As it came to the final count, Ian was very pessimistic about his chances after he'd added on his bonus scores. Laura had a boat load of treasures among her scrolls and went past him. I used my collection of wood to maximise two parchment cards and squeezed past both of them. Then Sam revealed one low scoring (or no-scoring) bonus card after another and ended up going from first to last. Ian expressed considerable surprise. Was it because Sam was in the chair with the best view of the TV? Who knows.

Andrew 121
Laura 117
Ian 108
Sam 85

After this, we split into two teams for a game of Decrypto. Sam had forgotten his glasses and one of the cards had to be replaced since he couldn't read it.

We gave ourselves proper pub quiz team names: Sam and Laura were The Lager Louts and Ian and I were Dead On Arrival. Ian and I got an early stroke of luck with a successful interception and, for the most part, we were on the front foot. Sam and Laura couldn't fathom our clues and in one tricky instance, nor could I.

I made a bit of a guess that Ian's clue "Captain" referred to "Planet" since it really didn't fit anything else. It wasn't until afterwards that Ian explained that Captain Planet was an eighties cartoon series. Blank looks all round. All I can say is if I ever get Thundercat as a word in Decrypto, I know who I want on my team.

Lucy came back from football (a total thrashing, apparently, but she enjoyed it) and watched us with interest. Before too long Ian and I got our second interception and the Cold War was won!

After this, having seen the enormous amount of fun we were having, Lucy was persuaded to join us in a game of The Mind.

We began in total silence. And stillness. It was as if some statues had decided to play The Mind to while away the decades. In the end, Lucy said she didn't like awkward silences and played her card. Thanks to her, we successfully navigated through 62-67-70-100.

In round two, we had the opposite, with Lucy swiftly putting a 65 on a 36, amazingly to no ill effect. We ended on 83-85-87, just to prove that round one wasn't a fluke.

Or maybe it was, as we lost two lives in round three, misplacing 45-46 and 61-62. We squeezed past round four using our shurikens and another life. We finally fell in round five to a misjudged 71-72-73. Amazing scenes.

After that, we felt there was still time for one more game so we chose Movable Type. Lucy stayed, despite her misgivings about the wordy nature of the game. She got a rules explanation, with the rules regarding slang and proper nouns described thusly: Sam said you can say "Shit" but, as Laura interjected, not "Mr Shit". "Also because that would be two words," added Sam in the finest example of tag team rules explanationism that you're ever likely to see.

We kept it simple, and didn't use the Author Cards. In round three Lucy's word of "woosh" was allowed after a check on the Internet. I was stymied one round by ending up with a hand of cards identical to the common cards on the table.

I'm having a hard time reading my notes, but I think it ended...

Ian 19 (Killers) (won on tie breaker of highest scoring card)
Sam 19 (Chapped, or chipped or something)
Laura 16 (cobbs)
Lucy 14 (swatted)
Andrew 14 (messier)

And with that we were away. We set off out through the back garden, with Sam taking the super special route that only locals know.

Thanks to all for a great night.

Little messages

This week's games event was postponed by two days after an England football match, a wife's birthday and my visiting brother all combined to make Tuesday a non starter.

In the initial stages, there were six of us: the host, Sam, his kids, Stanley and Joe, Ian, Martin and me. We began with something quick and simple, Destination X. A game of deduction and geographical knowledge. Eight cards, each representing a country, are dealt out face up. Each non-spy gets three Question Cards, with a question on it (how high is the highest peak? What's the first letter of your capital city? etc) The spy, in this case Joe, secretly chooses a location and answers our questions on the subject using a handy guide book. We, his pursuers, MUST eliminate one country each round. The idea is to identify the correct country without accidentally eliminating it.

We played this lightning fast game twice. In game one we caught Joe in Thailand and in game two we tracked down Stanley in Suriname.

After this, gamer Joe was expected shortly so we bashed out a game of Doodle Rush. Each player has the same number of little wipe clean boards that they can draw on. Their target words are on the back of two randomly drawn cards. There are alternating periods of quiet, intense drawing followed by a raucous bout of guessing, with every one shouting their guesses while at the same time trying to hear what people are saying about their drawings. Get it right and you keep that board.

The scoring system is Number Of Other Players' Boards You Collected minus Number Of Your Own Boards Left In Front Of You. I didn't everyone's score but Martin won it with 7 points. I guessed most of his including a minimalist Napoleon and a very naive art version of the Mona Lisa.

Once that game was done, one Joe left us and another one arrived. How poetic. Stanley stayed with us for one more game, though. That game was Orongo, against Sam and Martin, which was something about building those statues on Easter Island, mixed with bidding sea shells for some reason. I didn't follow it too closely but I remember Sam telling his son that it would be over soon, such was the lead that Martin had.

Martin all statues built
Sam two statues left
Stanley four statues left

Ian, Joe and I played Wordsy, the game that looked enough like a book that Sam's wife picked it up, interested, before realising and putting it back down again.

The game was new to me and Ian, but there aren't a great deal of rules to remember. It basically concerns making the longest or highest scoring word from a group of eight consonants.

During the game, I pointed out Joe's habit of saying "Nice" to every word (although possibly not Ian's "ham", which Ian later blamed for his poor showing). Once I had done this, he stopped doing it which I now feel a little regretful about. Anyway, in the final reckoning, he was the nicest.

Joe 107 (best word, Swivelled)
Andrew 104 (Underwhelming)
Ian 88 (Savagely)

At this point Orongo was in the final stages so we cracked out a game of Kribbeln. In this lightning fast version (practically a speed run) Joe scored 35 with his first round attempt but didn't fulfil the criteria. How cruel.

Both Joe and I completed all four of our kribs, but a strong mid game was enough to keep me out in front.

Andrew 16
Joe 14
Ian 11

Now we were all together we went for Decrypto. Sam and I were a team, while Ian, Martin and Joe hoped that numbers would be enough to balance out our lengthy friendship.

It was, frankly, intense. Four rounds passed with no interceptions and no mistakes. Sam and I hit upon the tactic of making our three clues read like a sentence. Thus "If / a man in health / travels abroad," "Track down / Napoleon / living as a caretaker," and "I taught / the blues / to Gareth" all seemed to frustrate the other team.

We got the first interception on round five, leaving them on a knife edge. They squeezed past thanks to some clever play. Hats off especially to Joe whose clue of Cat Poo threw us off the trail. It referred to the word "message" and, indeed, Sam did mention that as a possibility while we pondered but we chose another option instead.

Then in round seven, they got a successful interception. Now it was the Decrypto equivalent of a penalty shoot out. One last round. They also had a mistake among one of their guesses, giving us the upper hand, but there was still work to do.

In the end, we made a mistake. But in a gentlemanly fashion. While Joe discussed my clues, Sam realised he'd misunderstood my clue. He went to change it, but then stopped, saying it wouldn't be right. Joe did point out that, according to the rules, getting help from your opponents is fine and, if anything, he should have been more careful. But Sam's resolve wouldn't be changed. And he was right: he was wrong. And the other team successfully intercepted our message.

This meant, after eight rounds, we were tied. The tie breaker was how many words we had worked out, but that was two a piece. There were no more tie breakers and we were forced to enjoy our shared victory.

Then we played a three round game of Voodoo Prince, with Martin giving Joe a very quick rules refresher. But it’s a game that easy to learn but a nightmare to understand. I squeaked a first round victory thanks to winning a trick with a 7 blue, giving me two tricks. But then in the next two rounds I was out first both times. Pretty high-scoring “first outs” but still a little galling. There was a brief discussion if my expression of “I’m getting wanked,” was actually part of the rules and decided perhaps not. Trick-taker king, Martin, was in first at the end of round two and then just did enough in round three to win the game. There was an impressive comeback from Sam who had a lowly two points after round one.

Martin 27
Andrew 24
Sam 21
Joe 17
Ian 16

Then we ended with The Mind. If this game shows how well you know each other,t hen we must be pretty well acquainted. In round one we successfully navigated 13, 14, 16! Rounds two and three both ended with Martin and Joe. There uncanny empathy meant they were able to play 88-89 in the right order.

We lost our first life (I think) in round four during a sequence containing 43-44-45-46. Then another went in round five. Round six ended with Martin and Joe again and they successfully played 98-99!

Now we were into the Dark Mind. Round one was clear, as we managed to navigate a 19-21 pair of cards. We then battle through round two, losing two lives, before falling during round three. Just out of curiosity, we decided to see how well we’d do at round four. It was pretty hopeless.

But nothing can take away our achievement. Round two cleared on the Dark Mind, maybe thanks to Sam’s offer of whiskey mid-game. We left with the warm feeling of having our friendships reaffirmed. By board games.