Ribbon Factory

After struggling through a hot humid day, I almost backed out of this week's games night due to fatigue, but couldn't face another missed opportunity to match wits with some of the greatest gamers the world has ever seen.

We began as a five (Joe, Martin, Ian, Matt and me), and had every reason to assume we'd stay that way, with an outside chance of a late arrival in the shape of Andy M.

So we began with High Society, a simple card game that perfectly captures the anguish of the massively wealthy. Joe began by bidding high, picking up a 5 for $12m. Terrible business, we thought, but then Matt got a 3 for $8m, so maybe not. Ian got the 10 for top dollar, but then he used that advantage to soak up the effects of two bad cards while we all spent a fortune to avoid them. It was nearly the end of the game and Martin had spent a great deal of money with only a lonely x2 card to show for it. His tactic seemed to have worked when a six came out and he picked it up. It put him in first, points wise, but it proved to be the last straw for his bank balance.

Matt 11
Joe 10
Andrew 9
Ian 7
Martin out (but had 12)

As an interesting aside, Matt spent less than any of us. A moral in there somewhere, I think.

Martin made the sage observation that you have no chance of winning High Society unless you were in the top two. We looked a bit blank and kind of agreed with him. He elaborated that he meant you only felt you had a chance of winning. This is fair enough. He continued to sigh about High Society for the rest of the evening.

Then we played Powerships, the racing game in space. Martin set it out, flipped bits of the board over, rotated them and eventually got a play area without any gaps in the middle.

It was my first game, but it's not exactly drowning in rules so I felt quietly comfortable as I rounded the first buoy in hot pursuit of Ian and Martin.

Then Matt stormed back into contention with a move that saw him use four dice to move nine spaces for two turns in a row. Similarly, Joe went from distant last to a fairly local last with a similar move.

It was all looking very close around buoy three, but then Ian got trapped behind some space dust allowing Martin and Matt to steal past him in the home straight.

1. Martin
2. Matt
3. Ian
4. Andrew
5 (DNF) Joe

Martin then struggled to put the game away again, with it requiring a few aborted attempts at fitting the modular board back into its box.

Now we began the game we'd been promising ourselves all evening: Texas Showdown. Perhaps at its imperious best with five, we cracked through two rounds. Ian had a clear first round and a cagey second one to take first place.

I, meanwhile, experienced a weird aural illusion during the game. I was pouring my drink into my shot glass at the same time that Joe was pouring his drink into a wine glass. The sound of liquid in a barely empty glass somehow convinced me to keep pouring and it wasn't until my glass was overflowing that I came to my senses and I stopped. How odd.

Ian (0) 2
Andrew (3) 3
Martin (3) 5
Joe (3) 7
Matt (3) 7

During this game, Andy M arrived, keen to dispel the lingering aftereffects of a day of meetings with the medicinal qualities of board games. He was introduced to the world of Texas Showdown for a one round special since Sam had texted and was expected to be here in ten minutes. The second game of Texas Showdown ended

Andrew 0
Ian 1
Martin 1
Matt 2
Andy M 2
Joe 4

Sam arrived and, in stark contrast to our initial expectations, we were now a group of seven. We split into two groups. Joe, Matt, Ian and Andy went outside for a dusky game of Movable Type. Martin, Sam and I stayed inside to give Pikoko another try.

Pikoko was much the same as before. I found myself bamboozled by a couple of calls by my opponents and, in round two, I was confused enough to play the No Confidence card, much to Martin's disgust.

I enjoyed it, but I fear that Martin may already be too much of an expert by now.

Martin (8) (17) 26
Andrew (2) (7) 15
Sam (3) (11) 14

As Movable Type was still continuing under the light from someone's mobile phone, the three of us tried The Mind. "Speed Mind" we called it, given the strict time limit we assumed we were under.

And, indeed, we did play quicker than usual. We made some audacious decisions about when to play what and, mostly, it worked fine. We got past 45-50-100 in round one and 38-41-42 during round three. We cleverly shurikened 50-51-73 in round four but then lost three lives in round six. We cleared round seven, despite it ending 95-96 and shurikened 13-14-15 in round eight. Surely luck was on our side! Nope. We followed that up by losing our final lives before the round was over.

Amazing fun, though.

Movable Type had by now ended and well done to the four of them for ending with final words which all had slightly inappropriate connotations.

Joe 17 (final word: Sleazy)
Matt 16 (Petting)
Ian 14 (Knobs)
Andy 10 (Pillars)

Good work, chaps.

Now, as a group of seven, we chose Word Slam as our last game. It was me, Ian, Matt and Sam against Andy, Martin and Joe. The game was a ding dong battle, with the Joe team streaking into an early lead.

The clues were as clever as they were absurd. Joe got "board game" once he saw the word "play". "Grey Historic Big Old Long" was the Great Wall Of China. I got "Marilyn Monroe" from the clues of "Dead" and "woman". Obvious, really. And "prison" was drawn from the clues of "do" and "time".

Then things started getting really obtuse. The clue "object material woman two" somehow lead someone to "Bra". "Soft material left right up down on many" was Sam's successful attempt at defining the word "wallpaper". Meanwhile, was Joe's guess of "ribbon factory" a genuine attempt or a way to throw his opponents off the track?

Sam's team came back into it. By guessing "Batman" (man night movie) we drew level. The decider was drawn from the black deck, the hardest deck of all. But as it happened, I got lucky. The clue was "poodle" and when Joe guessed "Dog" I pointed at my previous clue of "white animal" and we got it. An amazing comeback. A glorious win. An ideal finale.

A lovely evening. I'm very glad I made the effort to spend time with you all. Same time next week!

History Repeating

Sam’s call for Saturday four o’clock afternoon gaming was heeded by two other hardy gamers, myself and Ian. Sam had recently been indulging in a one-man craze over the game Historia, having played it solo three times since he got it. He was so keen to get started that at three o’clock he texted us to ask what colours we wanted to be before mentioning we could come earlier if we wanted.

The rules are pretty simple, once you’ve worked out what all the iconography means. War is a simple example of might makes right, with the best military always winning. Trade is how low-tech civilisations improve themselves. Expanding increases your presence on the map at the expense of cubes to do actions. Building wonders gives you repeating bonuses for certain actions and Advisors have super-strong one-time-only actions. All of which is guided by a Concordia-style card recycling method: playing a Revolution card gets you three cards currently showing in your tableau back into your hand.

My first leader: the lad who makes the tea

In our game I, perhaps muddled by my experience with Time Of Crisis, expanded my territory quickly. I was in South America, and I wanted to attack the grey civbot in Mexico. Ian was in Russia while Sam sat pretty in Europe. Two other civbots, red and purple, started in India and Southern Africa respectively.

Early days

Purple’s physical remoteness proved vital. These philosophers (since that’s was purple means) built up their military in double quick time without hassle and before we knew it, they commanded four prime territories, having unseated Ian. I was way behind in tech and military and points, with my only hope being that my two territories were so rubbish that no one would bother with them.

Once boats were invented, Sam and Ian swiftly crossed the oceans and wiped out the greys completely, meaning any hope I had of military conquests was now gone. Meanwhile, the purples continued their complete dominance, having now taken Europe from Sam, followed by a successful invasion of Patagonia.

Take that, Purple!

As Purple shot off further into the distance, the rest of us wailed in anguish at the injustice of it all. Not even our ability to choose three cards in one turn could save us. By then, it was all too late.

Purple civbot 148
Ian 103
Red civbot 95
Sam 86
Andrew 69
Grey civbot died on 27 points

Despite the sound thrashing we received, both Ian and I enjoyed it and were even amenable to the suggestion from Sam that, after a few lighter games as a sort of intermission, we could try it again.

After some fish and chips in surprisingly large portions, despite us ordering small, we played The Climbers, a kind of strategic mountaineering game where I think the idea is to be to last one still going up. Or the highest one when no one is able to go upwards. It was good fun and we played twice. In the first game, Ian and I built a sort of spiral staircase, chasing each other up a series of blocks.

Then this game was abandoned when we discovered we were playing a rule wrong (everyone playing the GNN drinking game has to finish their drinks now) in that the blocking piece is a one-use-only thing. In the second game, we were far more tactical, I think. And maybe Sam won. Not sure.

After this, we played The Mind, a game that generates more “you had to be there” anecdotes then any other game. We struggled through the usual absurd freaks of probability to round nine. Well done us.

Back to the main business, though, and Historia was swiftly set up. This time, we included the Event cards, and dialled down the difficulty on the civbots, down the Chieftain level except for Purple who – as current champion – was allowed to remain a Noble.

Of course, the first thing we did was improve military and attack the evil civbots before they could even move. I was far too pleased with myself for getting rid of Purple in the first turn.

I sped into an early lead with my territories and techness while Sam fought against the last standing civbot in the Americas. Ian seemed to think he was playing Risk, as he build a base of operations in the Asia-Pacific region.

Then at nine o’clock, Sam decided it was time for the lava lamp! This entailed moving quite a lot of flooring just so he could swap over the plugs, and it didn’t seem to make a huge difference.

On the board, things could hardly be closer. With red civbot not a threat, we turned our attention towards each other.

When it came to the final round Ian and I had expansion moves to complete. I tried to work out who was in the best position so I’d move into their region, but it was all so level, it was only because I saw that Sam had a Wonder that was about to score him three points that I plonked my cube into his North America. Ian also went after Sam, and those two decisions meant that Sam’s victory was dashed right at the end.

Ian 109
Sam 106
Andrew 101
Red civbot about 55
Grey and Purple civbots both died at 0 points

Then we wound down with some flicking fun. Push It was, for the most part, between me and Sam with Ian stuck on one point for ages. Then he mounted a stirring comeback, which was too late for victory.

Sam 11
Andrew 10
Ian 9

Then we played JamSumo, deciding on one round of each each and then combining the scores. In Jam, Ian was first to sink all his dice (scores Ian 0, Andrew -6, Sam -13) while in Sumo, I delicately nudged my opponents off the board the best (Andrew 13, Sam 6, Ian 0). Combining those scores:

Andrew 7
Ian 0
Sam -7

Then we played Love Letter. This well loved game with tatty cards and now not enough red cubes (we lost another this evening) to hold a proper regulation four-player game, is so familiar to us that I was able to eliminate Ian with the first guess of the game.

A recurring theme of this game was the King/Princess combo, where you are forced to swap the Princess for another player’s card who can then quite easily guess your card if they’re lucky enough to pick up a guard. A terrible situation and we all muttered about how bad a King card is.

Can’t actually remember who won, though. It may have been:

Ian 3
Andrew 2
Sam 2

And that was that. Seven hours of games, packed and done with. Nice to try Historia twice. It is, indeed, an epic spreadsheet. Thanks all.

Written by Losers

I picked up civilisation game Historia in the recent maths trade and, having played it through earlier in the week to suss out the rules, sat down for a proper solo game this evening - taking on the civbots that play as your easy-to-use, but possibly harder to beat opponents.

Each player colour in the game has its own civilisation theme; you can be the ancient Egyptians, the Romans, and so on. This filters through to your advisor cards - more on them in a bit. I chose purple, the philosopher's colour, with advisers on hand such as Descartes, Robespierre and Nostradamus. Fortunately for me, they're around to have a word in my ear even at the start of the game, when all I know is fire: as I develop my technology, I will invent the wheel, travel, gunpowder, and so on, as I travel across the most spreadsheety tech track ever, called the matrix: every move right increases my technological knowledge, whilst every move up increases my military might.

The might bit comes into the map. Almost tucked away at the bottom of the board is the map of the world, where me and three civbots begin the game with a single cube, representing our fledgling people. The bots are placed on the highest numbered (and most valuable) spaces, whereas I can go where I like. Seeing them clustered together across Asia and the Middle East, I chose the coward's route and started in North America. Travel wouldn't be invented for a while, I reasoned, so they could fight amongst themselves whilst I expanded at my leisure.

This was a mistake.

Civbots have three possible levels - King, Noble and Chieftain. There's nothing in the rulebook I could see (yet, probably) that stops you having all the bots as lowly Chieftains, but I wasn't that cowardly - I had one of each. What that meant though, was that without me in Asia to stop him, the King would go on to dominate the other bots, and eventually destroy them...

But meantime I had cards to play. The starting hand is eight, plus one advisor from your advisor deck.   Three of them involved interaction with other players (or bots) so I put them aside for now. I began by pushing up my tech (domesticating wheat!) and increasing my military. You might think that with no enemies in sight, there was no rush for this, but the way the matrix is laid out, even focusing on one aspect doesn't allow you to totally neglect the other.

I also expanded into Central America, as your presence on the map is going to get you points. And I built the Alexandria Library. There were no books to go in it yet, and nobody could read, but at least it was there.

I ended my turn by playing the Revolution card, allowing me to retrieve a card from my discards, before the bots took their turn. Bots work from a single deck, and the stronger bots simply flip and activate more cards. At this stage though, the King's extra cards didn't look too ominous, but his rapid progress across the matrix did make me sit up.

At the end of every turn, all players get to pick up their two earliest played cards in their discards, there's some book-keeping too, but it's all easy to keep track of thanks to this slightly-less-spreadsheety round tracker:

Turn two began, and I decided not to expand more for now. Every expansion costs you an action cube, and these are precious because at least three of your cards require them for activation. If you find yourself running out, all you have to do is play the Exploit the People card, and two will come back to you. Exploitation was never so easy! I focused on increasing my technologies, built the Pyramids of Giza, and invented a cow. I also played my advisors: when one goes, another rocks up to take their place. +++EDIT: no they don't. Only developing your tech can trigger a new advisor+++ But when the bots swung into action, the King and Noble were still setting the pace.

And so the the turns went - after four of them, an era ends and new wonders become available. But the bots kept building them whilst I focused on my tech, reasoning that the most advanced civilisation would surely oust brute force in the end. But the King kept doing both, and by the time I sailed across to India to beat the Chieftain in a bloody war, he was top dog throughout the non-Americas continents. On the score track, me and the chieftain were lagging behind, and the King was pushing on, scoring big for all his territories and inventing the compass. I was first to invent nuclear energy, but my military was so weak, they weren't sure what to do with it.

Back on the map, the King wiped out the Chief and the Noble followed shortly afterwards. I trembled in India, expanded from India, was given a hiding, and sat in India, pining for the good old days of the cow and the wheel.

Bots don't build wonders - they just discard them, and score points - so I took some solace in my wonderful architecture. The Eiffel Tower, the Easter Island statues, the Burj Khalifa. I was all over it. And when I invented Tourism loads of people came to see them all, scoring me plenty of points.

However, the wonders of tourism are no substitute for the wonders of maximum tech allied to maximum military, and it was this position the King ascended to, meaning that although I could expand into his territories - and deny him points - I could never wrestle them from his grasp in order to have the points myself. Not for the first time, I rued my decision to begin the game thousands of miles from the King, who coincidentally played in yellow.

The third era finished with me wishing there was a fourth, as I had great plans to expand and build... but even I knew that the King was uncatchable:

King: 175
Sam: 128
Noble 63 (and extinct)
Chieftain 24 (and extinct)

I am itching to play it again. It reminds me of Concordia because of how the cards work, but also those big civ games like Time of Crisis because of the story being played out before you. I'd thought my focus on tech could succeed - and the way the matrix is laid out suggests it's a workable strategy - but leaving the bots to themselves was self-defeating - free to expand with little interference, the King ran away with it, with me watching from afar with a sense of growing despair.

I was so despairing I didn't even notice I'd invented boats, which could have got me there. Possibly I was distracted by Monet, whispering to me that I should build another wonder. Never mind... the King can have his victory, and I'll have the Louvre and Knossos. And my memories.

Defecto!

A balmy evening at Joe's house, with the back doors flung wide and Sybil visible on the table, watching the horizon for who knows what. Cats? Birds? Or gamers. Surely she knows Tuesdays by now. We began as a four - the host, Ian, Martin and myself (Sam) with Andy Mosse due to join shortly.

First onto the table was Pikoko, Martin's trick-taking game with three-dimensional peacocks®. Like Hanabi, everyone is unable to see their own cards, but can see everyone else's. Like contract whist, you try to predict how many tricks you'll win - but unlike contract whist, you also predict how many tricks everyone else will win too, and play the cards of the player on your left.

It was an interesting juggle of limited knowledge, speculation, and prediction - what other cards will get played and when. As Andy noted, the peacock theme was probably stumbled on when they were figuring out a card display for the players. We played one round, which was enough for Martin  to display his inherent mastery of trick-takers:

Martin 11
Sam 10
Ian 9
Joe 8

By now Andy was here, so Martin proposed a five-player race around the galaxy in the form of Powerships, another game that reminded me of others: specifically Formula D (speed control) and Robo Rally (damage impeding your control). Each player sets off to pass three buoys and then get to the finish line, avoiding obstacles (planets, dust, moving comets, the edge of the board) and utilising moving elements along the way.

Your speed is controlled by three-sided dice: on your turn you can first rotate the single side of a hex and then move: in moving, you may add a die to what you have in order to speed up, discard a die to slow down, and either keep the numbers you have or roll for new ones. If you hit an obstacle, your ship takes damage and movement is compromised!

Around the first buoy and I surged ahead, stretching towards the second one whilst the others negotiated stage one. But in surging ahead, I failed to plan ahead, and bumped catastrophically into a planet, sending me off course. Meanwhile, Joe was taking the long way around the edge of the board, followed by Martin, whilst Ian and Andy negotiated the shorter but busier centre.

The drama ramped up as they made their way to buoy number three, with Martin first around it, but taking a wide berth again. He got a shock to see Joe, in some kind of galactic Nissan Micra, turning gently around the buoy before shooting off toward the finish, which happened to be Earth. It was a close-run thing, with Martin nabbing the win seconds before Joe rolled over the line.

Martin leads the charge, with Joe and Andy in pursuit

Ian and Andy fought it out for third, and Andy took it. I was still way way behind, but did at least get around the third buoy and nearly pulled off a dramatic finish when I almost sailed through the sun. But it would still have left me fifth...

1. Martin
2. Joe
3. Andy
4. Ian
5. Sam

Great game, and considerably preferable to the two it reminded me of.

Now back on Earth we broke out Decrypto and separated into teams, with myself and Martin versus the other three. Last time I'd played Decrypto I'd felt my clues were too obvious, but in this first game things went too far the other way, with both Martin and I bamboozling each other with our clues for detective. I suggested 'panther' (pink panther!) and Martin 'baker' (Baker Street!). We shot ourselves in the foot, with Martin at one point wailing "We're going to lose!"
"Welcome to my world" I replied.

And we did.

Ian, Joe, Andy - don't screw up
Martin and Sam - do

We changed teams with Andy and I now making a pair, and Martin taking the opportunity to be scathing about his former teammate. This time my clues were more flippant, as I search for elusive, delicate balance of what works in this game. As a result, we were twice decrypted and lost - not helped either when Andy and I guessed correctly but had written the wrong numbers in.

Ian, Joe, Martin - Detectives
Andy and Sam - Defective

Like Montage, I am terrible at this game! But it's great fun. If I could clue myself, I might be onto something.

Next up with Mamma Mia, accompanied by the traditional argument over whether - as Martin asserts - it's Uwe Rosenberg's best game or not. Arle-lover Joe wasn't having it, but Martin was unsurprisingly immovable. Meantime Andy was trying to get the game after a brief explanation and reassurances from all of us that, once he'd played a round, he'd understand it. "Or once you've lost a round" I clarified. But we should have taken Andy's pizza-making abilities more seriously, as he concocted a - for Mamma Mia - huge score, mixing recipes with aplomb in every single round.

Conversely, I made a terrible error of not making my fifteen-ingredient Bombastic pizza when I had the chance. Everyone gasped at my audacity/stupidity, but to be honest it would have used up all my cards, and I just wanted to stay involved. As it was, though, all I did was facilitate Martin's pizza-making with a plethora of toppings to choose from. On the other side of the table to me, Ian kept dropping all his ingredients, possibly distracted by his Mamma Mia duties...

Andy 6
Joe 4
Martin 3
Sam 2
Ian 1

Andy's pizzas, after round two

Last game of the night was Kakerlaken Poker, long appreciated but little-seen in recent times. The game had two mini-death spirals, when Andy tried to get out of the spotlight by passing to everyone in turn, and when Joe repeatedly passed his cards to Martin, only for Martin to flip them over with open disdain to reveal the host's fabrications. Best bluff went to Andy, who passed Joe a card saying it's one of those "green aphid things" - looking for all the world like he was passing a card he didn't know the name of. Joe flipped it over, and it wasn't a green aphid thing after all. We nearly applauded.

The game played out like a Sergio Leone western, with the tension mounting as all of us had pairs and Andy hit a triplet of cockroaches. Joe tried to bluff him into a defeat, but Andy flipped the card revealing more fibbery - and as Joe had no more cards to pass, he lost!

Joe - Kakerlaked
Everyone else - wins!

Lots of fun, thanks everybody. Looking forward to doing better on Powerships next time...

Many Alamanni

It is one of the greatest follies of mankind to believe that time respects the lines we draw across the land in our never-ending battle for supremacy. Another folly is the belief that dice understand us, sympathise with us and will help us in our hour of need. Put the two together, and you have Time of Crisis.

This month’s addition to our Time of Crisis canon was held at Martin’s. We began thusly: Joe in Pannonia, Martin in Gallia, Ian in Macedonia, me in Africa. In the first round, we all played the standard opening of 3 blue, 2 red: Joe moved into Thracia, Martin into Hispania, Ian into Asia and me into Egypt.

There was an early barbarian invasion from the Alamanni into Joe’s Pannonia. Luckily for Joe, he rolled a double six on his Crisis Roll, meaning we all picked up an extra card and Joe was able to prepare himself a little better.

Joe killed the barbarians and boosted support in Pannonia. Martin built a Basilica and hired a governor and a general. Then so did Ian! “You’re totally copying me!” exclaimed Martin. I built a basilica and an Army in Africa and hired a governor.

Joe then reinforced his army in Pannonia, hired a governor and, on a whim, he tried to get voted into Britannia, needing two votes on one die. He needed to roll a six. He did! Cries of astonishment and admiration filled the room. Especially from Martin, because now the neutral Emperor was weak enough that he could easily become the first Emperor of the evening, and it was only 8.25pm.

But Ian, since he had the same cards as Martin, also had eyes on the senate. He needed seven votes with six dice, and was reluctant to try. Joe goaded him into it: “There’s only on reason you have all those blues in your hand,” he said. Ian agreed, and went for it. And he got it too! He was Emperor at 8.29pm, turning Martin into a kind of Lady Jane Grey figure in Roman history. The deposed leader remarked “Well, I didn’t expect that.”

While everyone else was making hay, I was losing to Sassanids in Syria and failing in elections in Galatia.

Joe’s Crisis Roll saw a goth suddenly become active. “They never move,” I said. Joe rolled again and it did indeed move: straight into Emperor Ian’s Asia.

Joe boosted support in Britannia, Martin moved a better army into Rome, Ian lost to that Goth in Asia and I won in Syria. During this round, after Ian’s turn, Zenobia arrived in Egypt, draining the support of the emperor. Oh, well. Ian was about to lose it anyway.

Joe won a battle (I didn’t note where) and took Galatia. Then an Event Card was turned over: Ira Deorum. Suddenly new barbarians appeared on every border.

Martin, meanwhile, wanted to attack 4-region Joe but the lure of Rome was too great. He became Emperor again at 9.00pm, promising to sort out Zenobia later. Then he chucked a mob into Joe’s Galatia, the first of many pivotal mobs that we’d see this evening.

Ian took Britannia and then threw a mob into Rome. Shapur I, a Sassanid leader, arrived in his homeland while I repaired my Syrian army and finally cleared the territory of hordes.

The scores were Martin 21, Ian 20, Joe 20, Andrew 18.

By now, there are five Alamanni stationed on the northern border of the Roman Empire, poised to attack.

Joe cleverly predicted that someone would mob him, and the two yellows in his hand clear the mob easily. He then lost an election in Britannia, even though he’d lose it immediately if he’d won. He just wanted to weaken Ian.

Martin had a terrible hand but enough red points to get an army into Egypt and kill of Zenobia. She took him down, too, though.

At this point, we had to tell Joe off for constantly using his phone. Apparently it was a busy night for one of his Instagram accounts. Joe insisted it was fine, “I’m totally engaged,” he said as he checked another message.

Ian finally killed that Goth in Asia, while I killed Shapur I.

Joe became a Pretender Emperor. “It’s my first Pretender Empire,” he said, “I’m quite proud.” Real Emperor Martin sighed heavily and said “It’s hard work getting Emperor Turns in this game.”

Then another rival Emperor appeared in Syria. Now Martin couldn’t get an Emperor turn, even if he toppled Joe’s Seat Of Power in Pannonia. He decided to attack Joe anyway, and after a successful invasion of Pannonia, Joe’s Pretender Empire was over soon after it began, making him a kind of Simon de Montford figure in Roman History.

No matter what Ian did at this point, he was destined to lose Macedonia to a mob, so he got himself voted into Hispania by means of compensation.

He then took so long sorting out his next hand (because, with ten cards left, he was basically making his next two hands) that we decide to do the Crisis Roll before he’s finished, thinking that it won’t make any difference anyway. But I roll a double six, which means “take an extra card” and we have to hide it from Ian lest he use that knowledge to his advantage. And also in case it slowed him down even more.

I took Hispania from Ian. I now controlled all of the southern half of the board. The scores were Martin 36, Joe 32, Ian 31, Andrew 31

Joe sent a two-legion army to beat up Martin’s lone militia in Gallia and was then voted in. That electorate clearly respects bullies.

Martin had to do something special to hang onto his Emperorness. He moved an army from Pannonia into neutral Macedonia where Ian had an army stationed and defeated it in battle, and then won the election there. He tried to win an election in Joe’s Gallia. He needed four votes with three dice. Could he do it?

Not even close. He rolled 1-1-1. Rome became neutral.

Then Ian, with three blue, three red and three yellow, turned in a move of startling efficiency and cruelty. After tributing some Goths that had snuck into Asia, he got voted into Martin’s Pannonia. Martin had control of only one region by now, and so Ian plonked a mob in it. “Possibly overkill,” remarked ex-Emperor Martin. Then Ian moved the wounded army from Macedonia into Pannonia.

With the next Crisis Roll (another eight. So many eights this game) a sixth Alamanni joined his brethren on the borders. But only one invaded: it went into Ian’s Pannonia.

I was going to kill the Priest King, but Martin said that would be a terrible idea, seeing as it would help Joe’s potential four-region Empire. So instead I killed nomads instead, and reinforced armies and boosted support.

Joe did become Emperor, at 10.43pm. He then moved a big army into Italia to fight Martin’s army that had been camped in Rome for about two hours now. Joe lost 1-4. Painful.

More Goths flooded onto the board. Now Asia was so full, that one kept going, ending up in Martin’s sole region: Macedonia. “I didn’t even know they could come round the back,” he said, genuinely surprised.

But Martin is not one to let minor invasions put him off. He got voted back into Rome, killed the Goth in Macedonia (5 hits!), took undefended Gallia and then mobbed me in Hispania.

Ian lost to the three-strong Goth horde in Asia and optimistically used two blue points and a Basilica to get voted into Rome. He needed seven votes, he got three. At this point, Ian has drifted back into last and it looked like his chances of victory were very slim.

I killed the Priest King, but he took my army out too. So I gave up on the mobbed region of Egypt and moved the army there into Syria and successfully killed the remaining Sassanid there. I recalled the Egyptian governor and got successfully voted into Rome! I am Emperor! I damned Martin’s memory, and he lost four points. But then I lost to the Nomads in Africa so badly that my army was wiped out there too. I lost Africa and Hispania to mobs. Syria was safe, though my southern stronghold was effectively wiped out due to some mean dice results.

Joe unseated me in Rome, and then defeated Martin’s army in Italia so he was able to move into the capital. Then he took Africa and built two more buildings in Thracia. A great move, putting him on 58 points. It’s 11.20pm. Finally we’re entering the endgame. Aren’t we?

Martin was unsettled by Joe’s sudden show of strength. He defeated Joe’s army in Italia, got voted into Africa and then moved his army from Macedonia to Africa to have a go at those Nomads. He lost 0-2.

Then, once again, there were six Alamanni on the borders. This time, there was no half-hearted excursion in ones or twos, instead a full-blooded invasion as all six tore into Pannonia and then into Italia.

Ian, with three yellow, three red and nine blues, got voted into Rome. He tributed the Goths in Asia again while he turned his attention elsewhere: He beat the Alamanni in Pannonia and then invaded and won against Joe in Thracia.

I began my turn with lonely Syria as my only presence on the board. But I did okay, all things considered, regaining Hispania and Egypt in elections and then using a Pretorian Guard to become Emperor again. The scores as we approached midnight were Joe 58, Andrew 55, Martin 53, Ian 53. I was amazed to be in second.

Joe took Macedonia and he, too, used a Pretorian Guard to get voted into Rome. This triggered the game end. He then lost against Ian in a battle in Thracia.

Martin had only one region again. This time it was Gallia, where he started all those hours ago. “I’ve got to go big,” he declared. He was voted into Africa for its basilica, and then also did the same in Macedonia for the same reason. He Foederatied (sp?) two Alamanni into his army in Rome, reducing the number of votes needed to beat Emperor Joe. He succeeded, and was strong enough that neither Ian nor I had much chance of unseating him. With all that done, Martin turned his attention to those pesky Nomads in Africa. He had a three-legion army against three Nomads. He rolled a 2-2-4. Just one hit. The Nomads rolled two hits. He was distraught as that meant he lost Africa in the support check. “That could cost me the game,” he muttered.

Ian was voted into Thracia for those precious three buildings, and then he popped over the border and killed an Alamanni for points.

I killed some Nomads and then failed in my optimistic attempt at becoming Emperor and damning Martin’s memory again.

The game was over!

Ian 76
Martin 73
Joe 72
Andrew 66

Well done Ian. Second win in a row and richly deserved. But what a game. So many talking points. So many Emperors and so few Emperor turns on the board.

What were the pivotal moments in the game? Joe’s taking of Britannia with one die early on? Ian mobbing Martin when he was at his weakest? The collapse of my four-region stronghold just as I become Emperor? Martin’s two defeats against those stubborn Nomads? All those Alamanni? I’ll leave all that to future historians to mull over. In the meantime, despite it now being Sunday, we wondered how we could possibly get to sleep after all that.

Thanks all. It was astonishing.