When you don't know your Mars from Uranus

Friday, and after a month pretty much out the GNN loop I (Sam) was looking to squeeze in a game or two, despite tonight's Time Of Crisis looming. Luckily for me, Chris and Adam were also keen, and after some debate over which space-themed game we'd play (Quantum and Sol were also under consideration) we settled on Orbit: The International Space Race. Three space agencies - Japan, USA and Russia, head for the stars to try and claim achievements of fly-bys, orbits, landings, and even the hard-to-do return to Earth. It was new to Chris, but the rules are pretty surmountable.

What wasn't surmountable - for me, as the CCCP - was distinguishing Jupiter from Venus, and I set off into the outer solar system towards one thinking I would reach the other. Adam and Chris graciously allowed me a do-over, but the Russians struggled for the rest of the game, unable to shake off their status as laughing stock of the international astronomy community.

Chris left Earth and headed for Mars, only to find by the time he reached it Earth had appeared again and Japan (Adam) launched to reach Mars before him. "Sorry" said Adam, but he didn't sound sorry.

I, as the Russians, found myself lagging and so picked up Mission cards. All of them pointed to doing things with the inner planets, something Adam was already busy with. "Adam, you're doing all my achievements!" I wailed. "Sorry" said Adam.

Meanwhile Chris as the firmament-newbie was actually playing a rather canny game. I realised when I was giving him some advice that I was probably, having mistaken Jupiter for Venus,  not qualified to help and left him to it. I think Adam gave a couple of pointers, but Chris ran away with the game and it was mostly his own work. I spent most of the time focused on an 11 point mission card, and realised three turns from the end I'd need an extra turn to complete it. Bah!

Chris 41
Adam 28
Sam 18

I do love Orbit. Even when it goes wrong.

Next up, after some discussion, was Villagers. Here everyone is drafting and 'building' their own village, with the eponymous villagers represented by cards; the catch being that, just like life, craftspeople need materials to craft with, so you can't have a cooper without a carpenter, or a glassblower without a miner. Stan has repeatedly rinsed me at this, but at least those experiences stood me in good stead here, as Chris and Adam were both new to it.

something like
Sam 61
Adam 51
Chris 50

Both seemed to like it and I think it may be seen again.

We ended our trio of trios with a couple of cracks at NMBR9. I can't remember what happened now, but I think Chris won the second game, and Adam said he had finished second in every game of the evening.

Adam left for home with the clock chiming eleven, but Chris and I had one last game in us, which was Yokai. This is part-memory, part-Mind as you co-operatively try and move four randomly-dealt 'tribes' of face-down cards to orthogonal adjacence in a 4x4 grid: every turn you can look at two cards, you must move one card (any card, it doesn't have to be what you looked at) and then either place a clue card on top of a tribe card (hinting at its colour) or flip a new clue card.

The clue cards though mostly tell you what colour the tribe card underneath it isn't, rather than what it is, so you need to watch your fellow player/s carefully and remember what you've seen. Run out of clues and the game ends - or you can declare earlier if you think you've achieved a victory.

It's quite easy to get wrong but we ended the night on a triumphant victory. I didn't take photos, but here's me and Little Joe playing it in France...

And with that, we were done! Thanks chaps. 

Too much fun

You would think that, as seasoned board gamers, we would be familiar with the concept of Fun. After years pursuing this hobby, we may even be a little jaded with it. But apparently not, as we squeezed eleven lightweight games of varying silliness into one evening.

We started as a five: Sam (the host), Ian, Martin, Katy and me. Steve was expected so we banged out a five-player game of L.A.M.A. until he arrived. Sam’s started very well, not picking up a single card until round three. He was so focused that when his phone rang, he picked it up, said “It’s only Greenpeace,” and put it back down. Saving the world can wait, Sam’s got games to play.

Sam 12
Ian 26
Katy 34
Andrew 35
Martin 44

After this, with Steve finally arrived, we played Fool! (or Fou!, since we had the French version) which is a trick taking game where whoever played the worst card in trick is the Fool (or Fou) and has to sit out the next round which is a problem since you’re trying to play all of your cards first.

I got off to a perfect start with two clear rounds giving me ten bonus points each time, while the rest of them had to each negative scores. Ha! At the start of round three, I was thirty points ahead of my nearest rival. But I needed that head start as my score began to be whittled away. Martin was looking very dangerous and in the last round, he managed to play all of his cards. Luckily, his last card was the weakest card in that trick, making him the fool and meaning he couldn’t pick up the ten point bonus. Phew!

Andrew -8
Martin -9
Sam -18
Ian -41
Steve -44
Katy -68

Around this time, Ian informed us that he’d drunk a lot of whisky over the bank holiday because it was his dad’s birthday next weekend. There was a pause afterwards while everyone tried to process that statement, before Ian explained he’d been taste-testing his dad’s birthday present.

Then Sam got out the four-player Rollet, just to show us and then, since it was out, we had a quick game. Sam & Katy beat Ian & Martin 5-4 and then Ian & Martin beat Steve & Andrew 5-4. It was silly, high tension fun, and it looked great. Martin said it looked expensive and Sam mumbled something in agreement.

Then we split into two groups of three. Normally, this indicates a change towards the more thinky, strategic game but not today. It was full steam ahead for more fun. Sam, Ian and Steve chose Men At Work, a stacking game where you have to place girders and builders on each other in order to satisfy certain orders on cards.

Ian wins
Steve 2nd
Sam 3rd

Katy, Martin and I played Maskmen, which is actually quite thinky but still fun. At least it was for Martin and Katy.

Martin 7
Katy 5
Andrew -4

The two groups were out of sync so Sam et al played a few games of Kartel which is notable for being a Reiner Knizia game that Martin hasn’t played.

Sam 11
Steve 9
Ian 7

Steve 7
Ian 7
Sam 6

Ian 15
Steve 12
Sam was upstairs sorting out some kind of dad thing.

And we played Heul Doch Mau Mau, which I thought I was doing okay at and lost only eight points in the final count, but I guess I gave away too many points to my opponents.

Martin 112
Katy 93
Andrew 91

Then Ian went home, but the fun just kept coming as we broke out QE. After all, with the two QE champions (Katy and Sam) around the same table, it would be madness not to. And talking of madness, after Katy’s initial starting price of 5,000 the bids would not go below six figures for most of the rest of the game. I finally got my first purchase for the handsome sum of 250,000 and picked up a second for 200,100 which looks insane but I was sure I wasn’t the one who’d spent most. Actually, I thought it would be Steve, and was surprised when I found out who it was. Sam, though, deliberately came in just below me having spent 249,995. However, his last-round purchase (for eight points) meant he lost the lowest spender 7 point bonus, and it went to Martin instead who finally won a game.

Martin 51
Sam 39
Andrew 26
Steve 23
Katy OUT! (but had 30 points)

It was after eleven, so obviously there was time for one more game. Flotsam Fight: the game of saving treasures by putting them in lifeboats that share the same factors as the number on your cards. While Martin explained the rules, some people had the audacity to laugh at my dealing technique, which I was not impressed with. Mocking a gamer’s dealing method is like telling a boxer he has a glass jaw. Suitably insulted, I gave as good as I got and called Katy “a fucking cunt”. Possibly overdid it, in hindsight. Martin, meanwhile, was still trying to explain the rules.

After that controversy, we played and I came out on top.

Andrew 4
Sam 3
Martin 1
Steve -1
Katy -1

After this we were done and Steve kindly offered us a lift back so that we might get to bed before midnight. Thanks all for the fun.

Five go mad in Butte

Games night without Joe and Sam is bound to be fallow. With Adam H and a string of other apologies this week and doubts about the fitness of my car, there was a time when it might have been just Martin and Katy. Instead we were five in total: the two aforementioned and Ian, Adam T and myself. Katy and I were late, and when we arrived we found a game of Eggs of Ostrich just ending.

Ian 7
Adam 6
Martin 3

Once we were all settled around the table we looked at the stack of games already laid out that would be good with five. We started with Northern Pacific. It was new to Adam but Martin insisted he could teach it in a minute. It began in a feisty mood. Katy began and placed a cube. Martin immediately moved the train past that cube, rendering it useless.

It was all very cagey stuff, apart from the fairly obvious jokes about putting things into Butte. Round three saw a lot of spread betting as everyone tried to put off moving the train for as long as possible. Katy spent a lot of time saying she was just happy being in third, so you can imagine how happy she was when she finished in second.

Ian 28
Katy 26 (wins on tie breaker)
Adam 26
Martin 23
Andrew 21

After this was Mamma Mia, chosen by Katy who was already in a state of high excitation at the possibility of being dealt the Mamma Mia card. She actually got it in round one and then theatrically dealt out the stack of cards in a broad Italianish accent. It was Adam’s first go at this game, too, and halfway through round one he said he’d worked out how you can play well. Ominous words and they preceded an amazing comeback in round three that had us checking the rules for a tie-breaker. I hoped it was “the quietest” who won, but instead it was “most cards left in hand” so Katy squeaked a win on one of her most loved games. Martin, meanwhile, insisted he used to be good at it.

Katy 5 (won on tie breaker)
Adam 5
Martin 3
Ian 3
Andrew 2

Then we played Nakanuki Paradise at my request. This game of guessing the highest value to bid without the total value exceeding the target is such a simple, clever game. Far too clever for me.

Martin 22
Adam 21
Katy 17
Ian 15
Andrew 13

Time was ticking on and for Adam’s last game before he departed, we chose a three-round game of Voodoo Prince. In round one Katy clearly had no trumps and was heading into a last-player-standing showdown with Ian, with only one trick to her name. Ian made things simple by showing her his remaining three cards: all trumps. She was out last and with only one point to her name.

I went out in similar fashion in round two and Adam in round three. But what of the other end of the scale? The winners? It was Ian versus Martin as we went into the last round, with Adam one point off the pace. Katy, buoyed up by her ten point haul in round two, kept asking if it was possible for her to win. Possible, but unlikely. Almost as unlikely as there being no trumps left in the game once there were only three players left. Katy did finish round three with most points, putting her in a respectable second, but Ian was third to last out for ten points while Martin was out first for five.

I had no trumps at all in round two

Ian 28
Katy 22
Martin 22
Adam 17
Andrew 13

After Adam left, we ended on a baffling round of QE. We bid for points, but those bids increased our chances of losing. Oh, the irony. Ian and I struggled to buy anything at first, and then Ian went on a spending spree that would make the Sultan of Brunei blush. He and I both tied for identical winning bids on one round: Katy had set the starting price at 20,000 and we both put in bids of 20,001. In the end, just like last time, Katy won by miles. A game she excels at, but might have difficulty finding people to play against in future.

Katy 37
Martin 29
Andrew 23
Ian OUT (but had 19)

And with that, we were done. All back homewards with more memories than we can plausibly keep except as a general warm glow of recollection.

Creating a Stinker

I arrived late to Joe's for this week's games night and found that the decision as to what game I wanted to play had already been made for me. I was to join Adam T and Martin in a game of Impulse while Katy, Joe and Ian broke out Quest for El Dorado.

It had been a while since I played Impulse but no rules refresher was needed. I did refer to the player aid a couple of times, though. Katy, on the other hand, needed a full rules explanation prompting a couple of us to ask if it was her first game. (She said it wasn't but the last time had been about two years ago.)

Impulse was cagey at first and rather benign, apart from Martin sending a cruiser through Adam's Space Quadrant (possibly not officially terminology) and knocking out a couple of transporters on the way. But Martin's trading strategy started to generate points so when he hit 18, just two from a win, my full compliment of ships leapt into battle, knocking out three of his ships and removing him from the sector core. Then Adam sprang into action, with an extensive move plus plan that got him to 19 points but no further. Martin had the Impulse equivalent of a tap in to take the win.

Martin 20
Adam 19
Andrew 14

In El Dorado, Ian began very slowly but, once he’d scratched his foot (he even needed to take his shoe off) he was back in contention. Joe ploughed through the barriers while Katy sneaked along behind him. In the end, Joe got stuck on the last tile, allowing both Katy and Ian to reach the goal. Katy won the tie-breaker with a single barrier to Ian’s none.

Katy, first!
Ian, second
Joe, last

We ended more or less at the same time, so we dug out Decrypto as our next game. To avoid moving chairs and having to make up a team name, we decided on Team Impusle versus Team Dorado. Team Impulse had a tricky selection of words, all seemed to be thematically linked to food: leg, game, pizza and restaurant. Those last two, especially, looked difficult. I thought about asking if we could swap one out but Martin said he thought we’d be fine and I didn’t push the matter in case I looked like a sissy.

I usually take a photo of the clue sheets to remind me of how clever we were but I forgot. Martin and I misunderstood Adam’s clue of “face” thinking it went with Game when it should have gone with Pizza (or vice versa). Luckily Team Dorado got their second miscommunication in round six and my clues-as-a-story technique got us through that round safely.

Team Impulse, MI5 secret service
Team Dorado, M5 motorway

Next we introduced Ian and Adam to the unique thrills of Stinker. This time, it seemed to take a while for us to get going, so we went around twice. And we kept score, just to see if it was a pointless as it first appeared. I came up with this for “What do humans think most about.”

It was supposed to be “Darleen from Roseanne”, but Neighbours just seemed easier to spell, given my meagre resources. And then, after a whole six rounds of trying to be clever, Katy finally won something with “ooh a oo ah ah” which was something about what you should say to Sigmund Freud.

Andrew 50
Martin 32
Ian 16
Joe 13
Adam 13
Katy 11

What a shame it’s too fast moving for extensive notes because the second round saw a return to the heights of hilarity. I wrote “It is veri wonki” for something that a Pyramid-building slave might say and that's about it.

But with that, we were done.

EDIT: Except for a game of Heul Doch Mau Mau, after Ian and Adam had gone. I don't remember it at all and if it weren't for Martin reminding me in the comments, it may have gone unnoticed by history.

Martin 77
Katy 72
Andrew 69
Joe 44

After more fun than is recommended by the World Health Organisation, we tottered back home and to bed. Next week, though, summer hols finally take their toll. With Sam still away and Joe absent too, who knows where the determined vacation-less few with find themselves?

Lexicon of Laughs

Eight people squeezed around Joe's kitchen table for the weekly games fest, having walked through Bristol’s indecisive weather which veered from wet to dry and then tried to make amends with a lovely rainbow or two.

Joe, sporting a sizeable scab running along his head but otherwise looking pretty chipper, was joined by Martin, Adam H, Adam T, Katy, Ian, Steve and myself. Katy brought Isle of Skye, "just in case anyone wants to play it," and she placed it prominently on the table (in case anyone wanted to look at it, I suppose). Such deft advertising worked and Ian and Adam H were keen for a game and Steve joined in too.

While the rest of us discussed things, someone mentioned Tichu to which Adam T responded "Did someone mention Tichu?" He was keen for a game, since he'd hadn't played in years.

Joe got out his card table, apologising for the cat hairs on the green felt tabletop. The room buzzed with dual rules explanations while Steve and Adam were brought up to speed, and we began with newbie Adam T paired with Martin and Joe teamed up with me.

New tactic: photo your hand to make people think it's amazing

Joe and me got off to a commanding lead, thanks to me fulfilling a call of Tichu despite Martin and Adam both having bombs. Also, Adam failed a couple of early Tichu calls as he made the error of ending the round with low, unplayable cards left in his hand.

But things started to turn around. Adam got the hang of things and Martin had a very bomb-heavy game. We were still looking good for the win, especially when Joe went out with an instant Tichu, but the gap kept getting narrower.

In the end, they ran out easy winners. Joe felt liked he'd been played by a hustler, such was the way the game played out. All that was missing was for one of them to suggest, when they were 700 points behind, "Say, why don't we make this interesting?"

Martin & Adam T 1080
Joe & Andrew 720

Happily, Isle of Skye was ending at almost the same time. I didn't really follow the game, apart from hearing Katy insist she was having fun despite being in last. When the final count came, perennially last Katy and always-leading Steve had a surprise or two.

Katy's tidy island

Ian 175
Katy 174
Steve 170
Adam 159

With all eight together we discussed our options. Captain Sonar for eight was instantly dismissed by Martin despite him being in another room. Instead we split again, with Tichu making a second appearance, this time with Ian, Adam T, Joe and Adam H. Apart from Joe’s midgame suggestion “Let’s all call Grand Tichu,” I don’t know how the game went, but it ended:

Joe and Adam T won
Ian and Adam H lost

Meanwhile, Martin, Katy, Steve and I played QE. Steve was aghast that there was now a game based on quantitative easing, but he seemed keen to give it a go. I also had reservations, especially due to its comparisons with Ponzi Scheme, but I thought I should give it a fair crack of the whip.

It was okay. Certainly a lot quicker than Ponzi Scheme. Steve (China) and Katy (USA) were the early big buyers and they hoovered up tiles. But Steve gave the impression of having spent more than Katy. In fact, in the last round he put out the final tile for tender at 50,000 only to find that he ended up having to buy it himself. He didn’t realise that was a possibility, but when we added up his money spent, he’d already gone far past the rest of us before that had happened, so it made no difference. Martin (EU) and I (Japan) made some last minute bids that, as it turned out, pushed us past Katy’s spending level, giving her a clear win. “Katy crushed it,” Martin said and Katy insisted I wrote it down.

Katy 41
Martin 30
Andrew 18
Steve OUT! (By miles, but he had 42)

Then we had a quick game of Heul Doch Mau Mau which is something to do with onions. You have to build up a pile of onion cards in front of you but they have to match either the suit or value of the one before and it mustn’t match the suit or colour of either of your neighbours. If it does, then your card must go on that pile, which means it counts towards their score.

But, you can “reset” your pile by playing a card face down – a weeping onion. At the end of the round, count up those onions. That value (say, six) means that any cards of that same value don’t count to your score. As it happens, Steve didn’t get hit by that punishment (nor did I, fat load of use it did me) while Martin lost 24 points.

Steve 91
Katy 77
Martin 74
Andrew 63

It was an odd game. Can’t shake the feeling there’s not enough control involved. Still, I pretty sure I laughed at some point.

At this point Adam T and Ian left, although Ian paused – tempted by the sight of a new word game: Stinker. This game involves each player having a set number of tiles with letters on (23 tiles each, which we thought was impossible with six players, but we ended up with three to spare) and a card giving you a topic about which you have to write an answer. Spelling mistakes are prefectly fine (see what I did there?) and each player has two blank tiles to get them out of a tight spot if they need it. There is a scoring system, but it seemed fairly redundant.

The game was a huge success, reducing most of us to puddles of tears of laughter. “How to avoid boredom,” asked the card. “Wank,” wrote Joe succinctly. My answers were too dull, reaching a peak with the prompt “Where would you go in the past” getting this answer from me:

But others did great work. “Another use for a light saber” was either “Massive Dildo” (Steve) or “Frighten Horses” (Joe). Martin tried to get the word “stinker” into as many responses as he could (i.e., “The perfect crime” = “Cheat at Stinker”).

I wish I’d made notes, but I was laughing too much. Only Adam didn’t seem hugely entertained, but you can’t please everyone can you?

Steve won
So did everyone else
Adam came last (sorry, Adam)

And so, wiping the tears from our eyes, we were done for the night. Two games of Tichu and a blistering debut from a new word game. Thanks for hosting, Joe.