The winner who wasn’t there

They came in droves, hunched over under the heavy Summer showers that spread across this Tuesday evening.

We began as a six (host Joe, and guests Katy, Ian, Martin, Andy and me) with a seventh (Adam) expected later. We began with Polterfass, a recent arrival at GNN, which plays six. The game is about supplying beer to your opponents, who need to guess the right amount to maximise their returns, but too much and they walk away with nothing, perhaps even minus points.

Polterfass: kind of lost against the backdrop

of Joe's floral table cloth

The general consensus was that it was not at its best with so many. Perhaps the dim view of the game was prompted by a spate of early rolls that meant the barkeep went bust and everyone simply got what they bid. A bit unexciting. We played a truncated game, with Joe hitting the 50-point target when he was barman and the rest of us got too greedy. Meanwhile, Ian struggled, staying below zero until round six.

Joe 55
Martin 45
Andy 34
Katy 33
Andrew 22
Ian 21

After this, we chose Santo Domingo, another new game with an element of bluff and counter bluff. Each round, everyone plays a card which gains certain benefits, but other players may play cards that gain bigger benefits if you played the one card you wanted to play for those benefits that I mentioned earlier. It's a delicate balance.

During play, each player puts their discarded cards in a pile, face down in front of them. All except Ian who, Raj-like, kept the upper card face up. A style of play that Martin described as "balls out". A typical Martin-esque piquant observation about gaming that involved the male genitalia.

Joe 31
Ian 25
Andy 22
Katy 22
Martin 19
Andrew 18

Next, with the imminent arrival of Adam, we chose For Sale as a nice quick six-player that wasn't Fuji Flush or Pairs. Katy finally followed the strategy that she'd often mentioned in the past but always quickly abandoned. This time she stuck to it. It turned out to be: spend no money in round one. This, at least, gave her fourteen points going into round two.

But it quickly came undone when a zero dollar card was dealt out and everyone went high, leaving Katy's 16 card picking up a very expensive nothing. She didn't help her cause by announcing "but that was my highest card," giving everyone an insight into how to beat Katy. She never recovered and ended the game disavowing her strategy.

Ian 54
Andrew 51
Joe 49
Andy 39
Martin 38
Katy 30

Adam arrived during For Sale, so we split into groups of four and three. Adam suggested Flamme Rogue and Andy and Martin joined him. Katy was keen on Lords of Vegas and the rest of us agreed.

Lords of Vegas is a bit of an attention seeker, so I know little about Flamme Rogue, except for Martin being surprised by the size of the hill before the finish. Whenever I looked over, they all seemed to be bunched together, with Andy commenting that one moment when they were all in single file was exactly what you'd see in a real race.

Adam must've been tired after his late meeting at work, because he manged to bump into both a chest of drawers and the card table on his way to get himself a glass of water. As for the race, it ended:

1. Martin
2. Adam
3. Andy

They then discussed what to play next. Ra was suggested, but it turns out that Adam doesn't like Ra. An astonishing confession, especially since I think he owns a copy. Instead they began a game of Vikings, which was Adam's first. I admit to total ignorance of the rules, plus LoV was reaching its climax, so I know nothing about it other than the result.

Martin 75
Andy 51
Adam 45

Meanwhile, Lords of Vegas offered up the usual thrills and spills. Ian sped off into an early lead with a casino big enough to make it futile for anyone else to build in that city block.

But then I started to catch up. My casinos (casinii?) grew and I had a stroke of luck when I took control of a lot that Ian had sprawled into, which put me in charge of a five-tile casino on the strip, to go with the seven-tile casino I already owned. Ian was stymied by a lack of options. He spent most of the game with no vacant plots on the board, leading me or Katy to remark "Ian's lost the plot" whenever it was mentioned. It never stopped being funny.

Joe and Katy started badly. Joe looked to be in terrible shape in the late stages of the game until he re-rolled two adjacent four-tile casinos, and then remodelled them into a giant eight tile casino. Unfortunately it didn't pay out before Katy's turn when she reorganized and won it "by miles." The game ended soon after that, with Joe's dreams of a last minute surge up the score track in tatters.

A cheap re-roll for Joe (yellow) or Katy (blue)

Andrew 44
Katy 36 plus cash
Ian 36
Joe 10

I don't want to boast, but my win was pretty comprehensive. I ended with more than $100 million in reserve, only one die left, only two tokens left and I did nothing in my last turn, because my position couldn't be improved. After the game ended, Joe commended me for playing like Howard Hughes, since I’d often given people money if they'd reorganize a casino that I had no dice in, just to enjoy the show.

So now we were all back together and decided to end on Fuji Flush, with its usual gratuitous display of dick points, just because people can.

The first game ended in some style with Joe winning without even being in the room. He had to go and answer the phone and while he was away, he pushed through. Since he only had one card left, we played it for him. To wails of anguish (that I hope Joe heard and enjoyed), we saw it was a fourteen, to match the fourteen already played by Martin. Not wanting to be left out, Andy also played a fourteen. After that, it was a formality and by the time Joe came back we had already shuffled and dealt out another hand.

Joe 0 cards left
Andy 2
Katy 2
Martin 3
Ian 5
Andrew 5

The second game was less remarkable except for Ian knocking his tiny shot glass off the table. Luckily it landed on the dog sleeping next to him and rolled onto the floor, undamaged. The dog went and slept somewhere else.

Adam 0 cards left
Ian 0
Andy 1
Martin 1
Joe 1
Andrew 2
Katy 3

As we got ready to leave, Martin remarked how the best way to appreciate Fuji Flush was to "feel your inner dick." And with that image seared across our minds, we left another week of joy in our wake. Thanks everyone. It was an experience.

Made of Orleans

Six gamers, one kitchen table. The gamers were Ian, Katy, Sam, Andy, Martin and me and the table belonged to Sam.

We began with a jolly six-handed game of Fuji Flush. In amongst all of the excitement about dick points (with Martin starting the game with a big swinging dick point, clearing five two-cards with an eleven) I snuck into a winning position and was down to my last card before anyone noticed. But then Martin noticed and after that, people seemed reluctant to join me. Luckily, when Sam got down to his final card, he put down a seven to make a fourteen with another seven already showing, and then I put down my seven. We pushed through together, and rejoiced in our shared victory

Andrew 0
Sam 0
Martin 1
Ian 1
Andy 2
Katy 2

After this, we split into two groups. Sam bundled Ian and I into a game of Orleans. Martin, Andy, and Katy spent a little time before deciding on Vikings.

Ian and I got a run through of the rules which are straightforward if a little fiddly with a lot going on with each turn. As I played, I started to get a feel for how to best manage my luck, while going for the, perhaps simplistic, strategy of Get Stuff.

Sam built Guildhalls as he hopped across the board while Ian ignored the map completely at first, preferring to build up his presence on the range of tracks that gave out little bonuses as you did. At one point, he was in first place in four out of six, and generating large amounts of money while also monopolizing cheese.

On Vikings, Katy was having a difficult time of it. Although she'd played before, it was a long time ago and up against two seasoned professionals like Martin and Andy, she was struggling. Martin reassured her that she was doing fine, but Katy wasn't convinced. And during the final count up, she made sure I noticed when she briefly edged into second place, before Martin and Andy sped off into the distance once more.

Andy 88
Martin 81
Katy 62

Back in Orleans, Ian's initial advantage was slowly being pegged back by Sam. Ian and I started building Guildhalls, and we even began populating the Town Hall.

On the other half of the table, Vikings had been replaced by Karuba. This Take-It-Easy-ish game of pathfinding is usually a big hit but Katy, stymied by Explainer's Curse, didn't seem to enjoy it as much as usual.

Martin 23
Andy 22
Katy 20

As Karuba ended, so we came to the end of Orleans. And what an ending. At first, once the scores had been counted, Ian had won. But, as we were packing away, Ian pointed to a lone citizen (a multiplier for an end-game bonus) on the board and asked what it was there for. Sam then realized that it should have gone to him (as the player with most Guildhalls) which would put him in first.

What to do? Does the original score stand or does Sam take the win? In the end, Sam remembered that he'd not explained this particular rule, and so he couldn't very well invoke it now. The initial tally would stand, with Ian taking first place.

Ian 125
Sam 123
Andrew 95

Now we were all back together so we decided to play 6nimmt as our nightcap. After two games against tough opposition, Katy seemed keen on a familiar game to level the playing field. However, before long, her enthusiasm waned as we embarked on a very tough game of 6nimmt. One impossible situation after another kept cropping up. In desperation, at one point, I went Dirk and was delighted when it came off and Martin had to pick up a row!

In the end, fully fifty percent of the players ended up past the losing score of 66.

Sam 22
Ian 46
Katy 62
Andy 67
Andrew 68
Martin 72

Which leaves us with the Division. This week, I've taken the points score and changed it so that zero points is 1066 and the leader's score is 2017. That way, everyone is represented by an historical event.

House rules rule!

The first Tuesday of a new season, and nine of us converged at Sam’s house for an evening of white hot battle (with drinks and nibbles and a newly fixed light overhead). Attendees were Sam, Joe, Matt, Martin, Ian, Katy, Ben, Andy and myself. Since the front room was in use, we were limited to the kitchen and, even with Sam’s kitchen table at full stretch, it would be snug fit.

We began with a nice friendly game of Continuous Pairs: the version were there’s only one loser. Which was me.

We split into three groups of three. Martin and I were unable to find a third for Impulse, so instead Ben, Matt and Andy took up the middle of the table with Beasty Bar. Martin, Katy and Ian perched at the end nearest the wall, playing Vikings. Finally, Joe, Sam and myself occupied the other end with Manila.

With so many games happening at once, it was hard to keep track of anything. The middle group quickly sped off two games of Beasty Bar:

Ben 6
Andy 3 (and 23)
Matt 3 (and 25)

Followed by

Ben 4
Matt 3
Andy 1 (“a charitable one,” as he described it)

And after that they began a game of Port Royal. At this point, Martin looked up from his board and surveyed the table covered by three games with seas and boats and said “It’s all gone very nautical in here.” A nice thematic moment to the evening.

The next game to end was Vikings:

Martin 74
Katy 43
Ian 38

They began a game of Biblios to fill the time until other games had ended.

In Manila, we placed our bets on the three boats pulling into harbour and our share of the cargo/landing fees. We needed a rule refresher and found the similarity in names of two roles: the pirate and the pilot, rather confusing. But we got going eventually. Joe went big on nutmeg, Sam on blue silk while I was impressed enough by lucky ginseng that I tried a late attempt at buying some.

During the first few rounds Sam or Joe had always put ginseng in the third lane at zero. But it managed to come in once when I was the only one on board and then I landed on it as a pirate, so it seemed especially charmed for me.

Not charmed enough to overcome Sam’s and Joe’s more sensible spread-betting, though.

Joe 112
Sam 97
Andrew 87

By now Port Royal was over and Ben had clocked up another win while Andy blamed Explainer’s Curse.


Ben 13
Matt 8
Andy 7

Since Biblios was still ongoing, the six of us decided on a quick dash through Dragon Run. Even though it’s a five-player game, we thought it could accommodate one more, surely. At first we stuck to previous definitions of Treasure Card mean card with actual treasure on them, but a reading of the rule book indicated that a Treasure Card was any card from the Treasure Deck. Another rule to be challenged was that “You may take another turn” allowed a player to stop without having to hide in the shadows or cry like a girl.

I think the discussion about took up most of the game. It ended with another win for Joe:

Joe 16
Andrew 14
Sam 12
Ben 8
Matt 7
Andy 6

I suppose Andy could blame Explainer’s Curse again, since he was the one explaining the real rules to us while we played.

During Dragon Run, Biblios ended with all five dice on three. Katy just won on the dice-colour tie-breaker (and, technically speaking, the money tie-breaker).

Katy 6 (plus blue die)
Martin 6
Ian 3

And they also managed to squeeze in a game of Port Royal

Katy 12 (plus 9)
Ian 12 (plus 2)
Martin 7

Before we all joined together for a rousing game of 6nimmt. Agony was shared around evenly this time, in this high scoring round. Ben (already in last with 62) had to go before the final round, so Dirk took his final go for him. And for a while it looked like Dirk might do quite well. Only for a while, that is. Martin sealed the win with two clear rounds in a row.

Martin 30
Katy 39
Ian 49
Matt 64
Andy 65
Joe 66
Sam 68
Andrew 69
Ben 94

And that was that. Off back home to bed to dream of Joe’s “largest D20 in the world” (approx).

As for the Division, a bit weird (as early divisions usually are) with Ben's lead on Points Ratio entirely due to the fact that only three players have played enough games to have a points ratio. His lead on the Medal Table is more deserved, and Martin leads on Points.

Return to Persia

This Tuesday heralded the coming together of seven like-minded individuals for an evening of board games.

Our first game was Pairs. I was dealt in as I was still taking off my coat, such is the tight schedule that GNN runs to these days. For the first two rounds, it was Sam and Martin making the running. Then Joe and Ian put some good form together. Before long we had a situation where all four of these players could potentially win next round. It was Ian what won it as Sam, Joe and Martin all went bust in the last round.

Ian 22
Martin 20
Joe 15
Sam 13
Andrew 10
Katy 8
Andy 7

Then we split into two groups. Martin, Joe, Sam and I chose Tigris and Euphrates. Technically speaking, we had all played it before but only Martin and Joe (who had it on his iPad) had any real familiarity with it. Sam and I, having not played it in almost twenty years, needed a quick run through the rules. It was one of the first games of the pre-history of GNN. I could barely remember anything about it, apart from the monuments.

Meanwhile, Ian, Katy and Andy played Vikings, a game I have not seen before. During the evening, as I glanced over at their game, I felt that I knew how it felt to be a total newcomer to games. I couldn't make out the rules at all. A big circular thing was rotated, and bits of islands were take from it. Then some meeples were added. To what end, I had no idea. That game ended:

Andy 67
Katy 59
Ian 52

Meanwhile, on Tigris and Euphrates, Sam was having a bit of a meltdown. He admitted he couldn't get his head round it at all, and often asked for a rule clarification or two. He began in aggressive style, but lost in his first two battles. He then kept trying to catch up by starting more battles, but with similar results. My plan was to hide in the corners and slowly build up points, which I don't think is how the game is meant to be played.

Joe built monuments, giving him points of each colour at the end of each round, and since your final score is your lowest scoring colour, this was a strong tactic. In fact Joe seemed calmness personified, a mirror image of the increasingly despairing Sam across the table from him. The only time his coolness broke was when he picked up the bag to draw new tiles. He accidentally picked up the almost identical bag of meeples from Vikings and he quickly withdrew his hand, shuddering, as he expressed disgust at touching something unexpected.

Martin tried to ruin Joe's plan by pitting him and Sam against each other in a position of great advantage to Sam. But Joe still won the battle, much to Martin's surprise and dismay.

The game ended with Joe saying "The iPad has taught me well."

Joe 11
Martin 9
Andrew 5
Sam 3

After this, we rearranged ourselves. Katy, Martin, Andy and Joe played Texas 42, or The National Game Of Texas, as Martin insisted on calling it even after Sam pointed out that Texas isn't a nation. Ian, Sam and I teamed up to play Vegas. Nice and simple, no white dice to act as spoilers. Noteworthy for the return of Das Exclusive to the table. But since Das is too big too pass around easily, it spent all of the game in front of me.

Sam $550,000
Andrew $390,000
Ian $330,000

The National Game Of Texas was still midway through, so then we played Biblios. And what a remarkable game it was. There aren't many other games that can cause a man to cry out "I've just eaten my own shit!" He got a series of four or five one-gold cards in a row (one-gold = shit in Extreme Biblios). That's enough to make anyone think that they must have done something bad in a former life.

Where were all the three-gold cards? Well, they were in the auction pile, coming out one after the other! I was in a bit of a fix during the auction phase, having spent all of my money and not daring to use any cards to get more money. I was going after the three “lesser” dice, hoping that Ian and Sam would cancel each other out going for the higher valued brown and blue dice. As such, I had my hand already finished early on, and I was just hoping that anything left in the auction pile wouldn't change that. And it didn't! My plan worked perfectly.

Andrew 8
Ian 5
Sam 4

As for The National Game of Texas, it ended around the same time with the score at

Andy & Martin 4
Joe & Katy 1

Since they were playing in pairs (which brought the evening to an end with a nice reference to the first game we played) it's not leaderboard. As for the Division, alas, nobody changed places this week. Here it is anyway.