Wednesday 14 June 2023

All Run Down by the Hillmann Express

The heat bore down like a big hot thing, so much so that Andrew was lost to us and Laura forgot to come and have fun, because she was having too much fun elsewhere. Keeping up slightly sweaty appearances at Martin's house were Adam H, Joe, Katy, Anja and myself. Anja was last to arrive so the rest of us played The Number, which despite the early hour conjured a number of insults, most notable of which was Adam getting called Dick Brain, who we decided sounded like a CIA operative. To be honest, with Adam it does feel like anything is possible. 


Despite ruminating on alleged mistakes he'd made, he still beat us all in a game that I find foggy to the point of breeze blocks. 

Adam 62
Katy 59
Martin 56
Sam 54
Joe 40

Then it was time for A game of selecting seven cards, speedily searching for synergies. I think this one genuinely takes longer to explain than it does to play, but that's not really a criticism as it was over in 90 seconds. I owe Martin apologies for more than once clinging on to cards as he attempted to take them. 


My dirty ways saw me victorious. 

Sam 18
Joe 15
Adam 10
Martin and Katy: 8 each

As I pondered inwardly how low I might stoop in gaming - especially against Martin (or Adam) - Anja arrived and we broke into two groups. Adam was gently cajoled into Mille Fiori by Joe and Anja as I inadvertently, but happily, signed up for Aristocracy thinking it was a six-player game. 


Andrew has explained the game on here before I think, but it bears repeating that the presentation slightly lets down an otherwise simple undertaking. On your turn you flip three tiles over, then choose one tile of any kind and harvest all matching kinds: this might be a literal harvest of resources, or trigger the placing of buildings, or evoke a kind of huffy harrumphing noise that all of us took turns at when we didn't flip what we wanted. "I'm swimming in fish!" Martin complained at one point. "I need to turn over two queens" I grumbled. 

Katy's pink buildings

Scoring is a bunch of overlapping objectives: sets of resources, sets of buildings both bunched together or widely dispersed, and connections made across the board. It reminded me of Sumatra, only the tile-flipping made it more fun. Martin was one tile away from winning when it ended - I was a little further back:

Katy 50
Martin 46
Sam 40

At the other end of the table it was Adam's turn to do a bit of harrumphing as things didn't go his way in Mille Fiori, and he expressed again his lack of enthusiasm for the game. Joe suggested he keep playing until he likes it.

Adam frowning

Joe's considerable record at Mille Fiori remains a thing, as the final count-up was agonising for Adam:

Joe 180
Anja 163
Adam 162

There was a quick bit of seat-shuffling and then Martin and Katy embarked on Mille Fiori with Anja, who was keen to play again. Adam, Joe and I did a pleasurable bit of game-discussing before Joe made the fatal error of suggesting Ticket to Ride and I the catastrophic mistake of agreeing. A strange, distant gleam came into Adam's eye...

We chose the Switzerland map which is best for three. The rules are the same except the usually-wild locomotives are no longer wild but only used for the (plentiful) tunnels; and as such you can pick up two of them instead of the standard one. I got off to a pitiful start when twice I tried to build a single section tunnel and found the roof caved in on me. 

Discard pile of shattered dreams

I distracted myself by taking photos and getting told by everyone that I always make them look terrible. I've no idea what they're talking about.


Just to show I can also take it, here's me as a chinny potato-head. See Adam scheming in the background? 


Adam didn't have time for such trifles as looking at a camera, as he was plotting a Ticket to Ride coup of such preposterous scale that, for Joe and I, it'll probably be our valedictory game, leaving us with not so much memories as PTSD. Things were looking ominous when he needed both hands to hold his cards, and then, like a carnivorous snake unravelling across a children's campsite, he built an enormous yellow train track from one side of the board to the other as Joe and I looked on in concern. 

moments earlier

The game didn't so much end as explode. Adam placed his last trains with a preternatural calm as Joe whitened. We had one last turn, and Adam already had a considerable lead thanks to his dastardly card-hoarding and thinking about things. I picked up routes, and it was a mistake, knocking back my score by a hefty chunk. I can't remember what Joe did. But he counted up all his routes and announced they were collectively worth minus one point. Adam lapped him.

Adam 146
Sam 93
Joe 43

Mille Fiori finished around the same time, I think, with Martin's incessant rewarding himself extra turns making the difference in the long run:

Martin 218
Katy 181
Anja 175

There was just time for So Clover to finish. We were surprised to find Anja had never actually played it and it was her debut game. As always, the act of playing opens with The Grumbling, wherein we all complain that our words are terrible.


Then we go off in wildly lateral directions before hopefully coming to a productive conceptual compromise. And after an uncertain start where the rest of us weren't quite in tune with Anja's clues, it was a more than decent attempt, scoring 30/36. Mainly though we got to tease Adam about taking ages over his clues. Does it make up for Ticket to Ride? 

Probably not. 

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