Maximus Frustratus

Dear reader, I bring you sad news from the war. Not news of lost lives or tragic fate, nor of excitement and derring do, but one of quite stoicism and sparse opportunities. And spicy crisps.

My unconventional opening

Rather than being a time of great turmoil in the history of the Roman Empire, we saw Ian become Emperor in round four and then stay there for almost the rest of the game. It was an uneasy but remarkably persistent reign. First, let's see how he got there.

Ian began in Hispania and with 3 blue and 2 red, he expanded south into Africa (buying a 2-level blue card). Then, with 3 yellow and 2 red he built a Basilica and reinforced his army, both in Africa (bought a 2-red). Then, despite weakening the neutral emperor in Rome for Martin's benefit, Ian decided his next hand of 5 blue, 1 red would be best spent on a new 3-level governor and being voted into Thracia.

As expected, Martin then became emperor using exactly the same sequence of cards (3B 2R, 3Y 2R, 5B 1R) and then I unseated Ian in Thracia, crucially giving him a spare governor to use on his next turn. Joe sportingly sent an army into Italia to weaken Emperor Martin's army there, despite him having no chance of becoming Emperor. Ian capitalised on the moment and with his fourth hand of 3R 5B, he recruited a Nomad in Africa, crossed the sea to Italia and defeated Martin's army (“after I'd loosened the lid,” as Joe pointed out) and was duly voted as Emperor.

In retaliation, Martin took Africa from Emperor Ian and then put a mob in Hispania. Joe retreated from Italy back to Gallia, and built an army in his otherwise defenceless Syria. Previous games had seen the Middle East as a pit of turmoil and he (and I, with my Limes in Galatia) were expecting the worst. Oddly, nothing of the sort happened, and the massed Sassanids didn't cross over into our regions at all.

Ian unseated me in Britannia – the first of many such occasions when this country would change hands – to regain support in Rome while Martin, with only 3 yellow and 2 red, simply reinforced and boosted support in Africa. The score was currently Martin 24, Ian 23, Andrew 20, Joe 18.

The board after round five

Ian had somehow clung on for another Emperor turn, but how long could he hold out? Remarkably long, that's how long. On his turn he was always able to get a third region back, and his three-strong army in Italia made any election prospects very slim.

During the game, Joe pondered thoughtfully over choosing his next hand a couple of times. The first time was long enough for the three of us to finish a bag of wasabi crisps. During the second time, Martin mentioned that everyone has a Joe turn at least once during the game, and Joe refused to believe that “a Joe turn” was actually a thing.

My one chance at glory (when I had 5R, 1Y and 5B and was gearing up to reinforce Pannonia, move into Italia, defeat Ian's army and get voted in on a tide of populism) was actually spent on invading fighting Barbarians and dealing with Ian and Martin both sending mobs into my regions.

First sight of Kniva and the Goths. A pretty average indie band.

Joe's chance was snatched away even more cruelly, as we all forgot that a Pretorian Guard ignores any army units in a region when counting votes to become Emperor. How we forgot that, we cannot say. Perhaps we were too distracted by Martin going online and working out the odds of Joe's plan of splitting his red points to attack Franks in Frankland as well as running for the Senate. Joe did so, and beat the Franks for points before turning his mind to political affairs. He needed 9 votes with 7 dice, but he only rolled 7 votes. A plucky attempt.

Of course, later, when Martin played his own Pretorian Guard, he remembered the rule and we all realised Joe had only needed six votes so should have been Emperor by now. In the final reckoning, it would've been only enough to get him into third on the score track, but the injustice of it all certainly put a dampener on an already pretty damp game.

As the game came to a close, it was only eleven o'clock. Martin was on 49 points and it was his turn with 5 blue and 9 red (including a Pretorian Guard) his prospects were good. “Martin could end the game,” said Ian. “I hope so,” said Joe.

Martin used three blue to get voted into Gallia. Then he recalled his governor from Britannia. How ironic: it had changed hand with almost every turn and now, at the very end, it went back to being neutral. Then his army from Macedonia moved into Pannonia, foederatied an Alamanni and then defeated the other Alamanni there, before using eight dice to try and get six votes. He succeeds! His total at the end of the round is exactly 60 points and after the points for Emperor Turns was added on, it could hardly have been closer.

Pointing!

Martin 66
Ian 65
Andrew 48
Joe 46 (but should be up in the mid-fifties)

It was a shame that the game never really caught fire. The consensus among us was that the expansion cards really can't come soon enough.

Since the night was still young(ish) we played one more game – Lost Cities: The Rivals. This game was described by Martin as Reiner Knizia remixing his greatest hits, as the familiar mechanics of bidding, money recycling and set collecting all seemed to be taken from previous games.

It was okay, although I was quite tired. It's all about managing your luck and somehow knowing when to go big. But, as Joe said, “You don't know it's too late until it's too late.” He did not go on to say “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.”

Joe 44
Andrew 43
Ian 36
Martin 25 “or something”

And so we were done. I drove Joe home in a very different mood from last month. Back then it was the triumphant return of the conquering hero. This time, Joe must've wondered if he'd accidentally angered an ancient god during a recent visit he'd made to some Roman ruins.