All Hail Emperor Monoglodium Sutamate!

Notwithstanding my mispronunciation of everyone’s favourite food additive, tonight was a largely uneventful evening. I don’t mean that nothing happened - quite the opposite. But, for some reason, when rolling our crisis rolls, sevens never came out so the event deck sat largely unused for most of the game.

We planned on using the new Emperor rules, so we began with a brief description of each type of Emperor: Senate (much the same as before), Military (double points for Emperor’s army if victorious in battle) and Populace (double points for support in the region where the Emperor is based). We could’ve printed out and used the new expansion cards, but Joe decided he’d rather wait until their proper release.

We started with Martin in Gallia, Ian in Pannonia, Joe in Thracia and me in Hispania. Then the three of them played the usual 3 blue, 2 red cards. Martin took Macedonia, Ian took Africa and Joe went into Asia. I played 3 blue, 2 yellow, taking Britannia and boosting its support. So far, so normal. The only signs of clouds on the horizon was a lone band of Sassanids that had made an early trip into Syria.

Then in round two, they all bought level two governors and Basilicas while I was distracted by the unexpected sight of two Franks arriving in Britannia. That was supposed to be my ace in the pocket, an overlooked province on the edge of the map that no one bothers with. Instead, it became a hotbed of activity. I built an army there and also built a basilica, but was peeved to see my support in Blighty drop to one.

In round three, Martin (5B 1R) took Egypt while another Sassanid tribe left their borders: this time headed for Galatia. Ian (also 5B 1R) put a governor in the newly barbarianised Galatia while Franks invaded his homeland in Pannonia. He neatly killed off the Franks and paid tribute to the Sassanids in a very successful move.

And next it was Joe's turn. I’ve often thought that Time Of Crisis would lend itself well to puzzles, like Chess, and here we had a situation that could do just that. A brief pause here to look at the state of the board.

what to do... what to do..?

Joe had 3 red and 3 blue points, no governor in reserve (the cheapest was level two) but he did have a general. What was his best chance of becoming Emperor? We didn’t see it at the time but, later, Joe realised that he’d missed an early chance to be Emperor for the second game in a row.

Here’s what he did: he built an army in Thracia (1R), moved onto Macedonia (1R) and fought Martin’s army there (1R) to try and get control of the basilica there. It was a draw, with neither side doing any damage at all, so Martin picked up a couple of points as a victorious defender. Then Joe hired a new governor (2B) and using two dice (1B plus his basilica in Asia) tried to become Emperor. He needed four votes, and he got three.

So close, but what should he have done? Solution is below this picture of the board after round three...

How it ended...

What he should have done was move the army in Thracia the three spaces to Rome (3R) and then hired the governor (2B) and used two dice to try to get three votes to become Emperor. Assuming the same rolls, he would have done it.

Mind you, he’d have been quite a weak Emperor but, hey, it’s only a puzzle.

... and how it could have been.

After this I used 3 blue and 2 yellow to boost support in my increasingly irritating Britannia, hired a level two governor and failed to become Emperor.

The scores at this point were Ian 12, Martin 11, Joe 8, Andrew 8.

In round four, Martin used 6 yellow points to boost support in Gallia, Egypt and Macedonia. He couldn’t do anything with his two blue points, but did pay tribute to the nomads in Egypt. Then he chucked a mob into Ian’s Pannonia.

This proved decisive, since Ian had no yellow points. With four red and four blue he built an army in Galatia, foederatied the Sassanid inn Syria, then hired a governor, got him voted into Syria then used his new army (with Sassanid) to attack the Sassanid in Galatia. Martin was very excited seeing a Sassanid “turn on his brotherman.” And Ian won. It was as good a turn as he could’ve hoped for, except for losing Pannonia to the mob.

Now Joe (4B, 3R) moved the failed army from Macedonia into Rome and became Emperor at 20:57. It was at this moment he realised he could’ve done this on his last turn. Oh well. But what kind of Emperor would he be? Populace, riding in on a wave of anti-barbarian rhetoric? Military, picking up points for bravery in battle? Nope, he chose Senate, and stayed in Rome.

I rolled my best dice of the game with my crisis roll, sending four Sassanids pouring onto the board: three into Ian’s Galatia and one into Joe’s Asia. I was delighted with this and I think I might have giggled. I then used my 4B and 3R to build a new legion in Britannia and beat the Franks there, and then got myself voted into Ian’s Syria.

In round five, Martin used 3R and 3B to put a second legion in Egypt and killed off the Nomad he only just paid tribute to. Then he got himself voted into my Syria.

Ian sent some Franks into Martin’s Gallia with his crisis roll, then used 3B and 3Y to tribute the Sassanids in Galatia, then he got voted back into neutral Pannonia and Martin’s Syria and then pushed his support in Pannonia up to two.

Emperor Joe, with 4Y and 2R put a militia in Rome (2Y) boosted support in Asia to two (2Y) and built an army in Rome (2R). A sensible turn for a sensible Empire. I, by chance, also had 4Y and 2R. I boosted support in Britannia and Hispania (still my only two regions) and built and Army in Hispania, ready to do some shit since I was in real danger of being stuck on the western fringes of the map, doing nothing.

The scores now were Ian 23, Martin 23, Joe 22, Andrew 19

Round six began with two Goths invading Emperor Joe’s Thracia. Martin had 6R, 3Y and 3B. Quite a spread. He foederatied a Frank in Gallia and then killed the other one (1R). Then he used 3B to get himself voted into Syria. He then hired a level four general (4R) and built an army in Syria (1R). With the 3Y he boosted support in Egypt up to three. Then he mobbed Emperor Joe’s Goth-filled Thracia.

Ian’s crisis roll sent three Nomad’s into his own Africa. This meant that two of his three provinces had three barbarians in them. A tricky situation, even with a sizeable hand of 5R 4B 3Y. He foederatied a Sassanid in Galatia, used 2Y to boost support in Africa to a safe level. He reinforced Galatia with a new legion and attacked the Sassanids there, but neither side landed a hit. Unluckily for Ian, the Sassanids stayed put. Then Ian added a second legion in Africa, stuck a mob in Joe’s Asia and used those 4 blues to get voted into Syria even though it would never last. He then lost both Galatia to barbarians and Syria to Martin’s occupying army.

Joe had a hand of 3B 3R and 3Y. He beat the Goths in Thracia, then beat the Sassanid in Asia. I say “beat,” but they actually wiped each other out, but the area was clear of barbarians, which was enough. Then he used 2Y to hold a games and dispersed the mob in Asia, then 1R to forcibly disperse the mob in Thracia. His support fell to zero, but he had 1Y left to boost it back to one. Then he hired a level three governor.

I (3R 3B 1Y) moved my spare army from Hispania into Joe’s armyless Asia (3R), and then got voted in there (3B). My yellow point was useless. I used a tribute to help out Ian in Africa, with a vague promise of goodwill in return.

Round seven began with Martin saying he wanted to avoid a Sassanid invasion. His crisis roll brought another Sassanid onto the board and we waited to see if they would invade. They didn’t, and Martin breathed again. “Oh my God, it could’ve killed me.” With 2B 3Y and 2R he had a quiet turn, taking back Syria (why not?) boosting support in Egypt and then adding a second legion to Syria.

Ian had 4B 3R. He fought again in Galatia and won before getting voted in. He then tried to win an election in Thracia, but failed. He fought the three Nomads in Africa with his two legions, just to thin them out a bit. He did so, ending with one Nomad left and one wounded legion that he healed with his final 1R.

Finally, Joe rolled a seven on a crisis roll! After almost two hours, we would finally have some respite from the constant threat of barbarian invasion.

Well, not really, since the event card was Raiding Parties, which increased the likelihood of barbarian invasion. Great.

Joe had 4R and 4B. He built a brand new army in Italia and then sent his bigger army from Rome into Gallia. He attacks and wins, forcing Martin out of Paris. He then foederatied a Goth into his Thracian army and won an election in his new home in Gallia.

I had 5B and 3Y, so I boosted support in Britannia to three, hired a new governor and then, with nothing better to do, tried to get voted into Thracia. Failed.

Current scores: Joe 41, Martin 36, Ian 33, Andrew 29.

Round eight began with Martin showing a hand of 7Y 3R 2B. He got voted into Thracia and then boosted support there to two. Then he set up a Pretender Empire in Egypt. He added a militia to Syria, added a third legion in Egypt and mobbed Emperor Joe in Gallia.

Ian’s crisis roll, once again, blew up in his face. Those Nomads he’d tried to thin out in his previous turn suddenly returned. Three of them piled into Africa. Ian had 4R 3Y, so he added a new legion (2R) and a militia (2Y) or “human shield” as Ian called it and fought in a last ditch battle. With one hit on each side, he didn’t win and lost Africa to the barbarians.

Joe had 1B 2Y 4R in his next hand. He removed the mob in Gallia, beat Martin’s army that was still in Gallia. He defeated a Goth in Thracia and added a legion in Italia. He tried to get voted into Thracia but needing to avoid a one, he rolled a one.

My next crisis roll sent two Allamani into Pannonia. But that was no concern of mine. I had 2Y and 7R. I put a new legion in Hispania, and then sent that army into Gallia, leaving only militia to defend the capital. I fought and beat Joe in Gallia, but with no blues, had no chance of being voted in. So I added a legion to Britannia and boosted support in Asia to two.

As we headed into round nine at half past ten, the scores stood at Joe 48, Martin 43, Ian 36, Andrew 36.

Martin’s crisis roll sent another Frank into Pannonia and his hand of 10R 7B meant that the Pretender could be in a position to trigger the end of the game. He foederatied a Nomad from Africa into his army in Egypt. Then this army went into Rome. He fought Joe’s army there and won. He then recruited a new governor and became a Populace Emperor, based in Syria. He then added a second legion to Macedonia and moved that into Pannonia and fought the Franks there and won.

He sailed past the sixty-point mark. “A nineteen point turn,” said Martin. “One for every minute,” remarked Ian, pointing out how long he’d taken in his deliberations.

So, the rest of us had one last push. Ian’s last turn had only got him 3 points so he was in no mood to take risks. With 3Y 5B 5R he foederatied one of the five Sassanids from their homeland into Galatia. Then he added a third legion to that Army and piled into the Sassanids. Three legions and two Sassanids against four Sassanids. An epic battle. With use of a flanking manoeuvre, Ian was victorious, winning 4-2. Every Sassanid was wiped out, on both sides. A satisfying end to the tribe that had caused such trouble. Then Ian got himself voted into Africa and paid tribute to the Nomads there, and finally won an election in Gallia, boosting the support there to two.

Joe, with 5B 3Y 5R and four governors in reserve, needed to win three battles to beat Martin. He got himself voted into Thracia and Galatia, built a basilica in Thracia (just for points) and finally foederatied an Allamani into his Gallic army. Now for war: His wounded legion won a remarkable victory against the Allamani in Pannonia. He moved his Legion, with Gothic companion, into Allamani-land and won a battle there. But a third victory wouldn’t happen: His wounded legion and Allamani lost to a two-legion army in Gallia.

In the last turn of the game, I rolled another seven! The second event. And it was one that is usually enthusiastically welcomed, but right now it just seemed to be an absurd mockery of our efforts: Good Augeries. Roman armies hit on a lower dice value. No use to me, since the only army I was going to fight was Roman.

So, with my 3R and 7B I foederatied the last active Allamani from his homeland, moved into Italia and fought Martin’s army, forcing him from the capital. Then, using 9 dice (7B plus two basilicas) I got voted into Rome. I, too, became a Populace Emperor, setting up my home in Britannia. I was Emperor on the stroke of eleven o’clock.

It ended:

Martin 68
Joe 67
Andrew 58
Ian 47

How odd to have so many barbarians and so few events. And it was another game where the longest serving Emperor didn’t win. Looking back, was it Joe’s failed attack on Macedonia that gave Martin two points in round three the pivotal moment?

With that Ian left, and the three of us battled through a game of The Mind. We got to round nine and then gave ourselves an extra life and made it to round two of the Dark Mind. Martin and Joe complained about my habit of keeping the cards on the table rather than in my hand. As if that makes a difference!

And so, we were done. Another crazy night. Thanks all.