Five Get Over-tired

Originally, there were going to be ten hardy GNNers around the table last night, but something happened in the firmament and one by one, people dropped out. It were Ian who begun it, followed swiftly by Andrew, then Andy Bate, on whose hot heels came Steve, and finally Laura. Looking at each other in shock and dismay were Joe, Katy, Adam T, Martin and myself. Still expecting Laura to arrive as the curtains rose, we'd begun with Gold Fever. Martin said it was a terrible game. I said what made it so great is that when people turn up at the door halfway through, nobody minds packing it away.

Joe began badly, twice pulling out matching gravel. Adam did the same and said "this is why I hate this game". Martin was tickled no end, and reversed his opinion on it based solely on Adam's discomfort. However he was less enamoured of Katy's decision to repeatedly throw her gravel in his bag. I made my way to three gold as the pair engaged in a battle of grits, but surprisingly the winner was actually Adam, who reversed his opinion of the game just as Martin decided it was shit after all. Either way, it packed a lot of drama into ten minutes.

Adam: Gold!

At this point we discovered we'd lost Laura, and all Joe and Martin's carefully packed bags for six people went up in metaphorical smoke. Instead we debated what to play from the Alcove, with Katy pooh-poohing Tulip Bubble and Martin ignoring my suggestion of Orbit, even as Adam murmured approvingly at the idea. We finally settled on Taj Mahal, the classic Knizia of yore!

It's been so long since we last played it (it seems to appear once every 30 months) we needed a refresher from Martin. The essence is simple - play cards containing various suits; if when your turn arrives you are leading in any particular suit you can choose to drop out (-you can also drop out in misery as well) and gain the rewards. Four suits allow you to place palaces on the board (points) potentially scoring more (points!) if you link to previously-placed palaces in other regions. One suit allows a 'Ghost' palace that can share foundations with an otherwise solitary palace of another player. And one suit (elephants) allows you to collect the goods from that region - more goods of the same previously-collected type will score collectively, and repeatedly, and it was this route that Adam took...

But the early leader was Joe, with such dizzying speed and economical frugality that everyone was reeling with alarm, Martin in particular. Katy started badly, getting into a 'pissing contest' that she lost. "Beowulf is more fun than this" she pointed out.
"Yes, this is more cerebral" Martin conceded.

I tried to play a kind of guerrilla tactic, picking up what I could when I could whilst building a reasonably strong hand... the problem with that approach is that dropping out early hands easy picking to the other players - oh Reiner! Joe meanwhile was claiming palaces all over the shop and chaining them together like a bunch of point-scoring brick-built daisies. Adam was shrewdly building his goods collection, whilst me, Katy and Martin were mostly complaining about Joe, who in turn was complaining about having a card that scored him 2 points every time he played it, which invited even more scathing from the other side of the table. Joe defended his observations by reminding us how cerebral the game was, and in his position we might understand.

Suddenly Adam surged past him and into a six-point lead. Katy and I got into an expensive pissing match that I lost, and it cost me seven points. "Katy!" I wailed. "What about me?!" Katy shrieked back, pointing at her score marker. At this point my sympathy wasn't overwhelming, though. We were like the kids playing with the adults, who were now clearly going to finish way ahead of us.

Another pissing contest between Adam and Martin went the latter's way and Adam suffered a devastating fate - not only did Joe surge past him again, but Martin had kept an enormous chain of cards of the same colour (points!) for the end game scoring, and barrelled by him as well for a sneaky second!

Joe 46
Martin 39
Adam 38
Sam 33
Katy 28

Adam had time for just one more game, so we let him choose, and the choice was the thematically appropriate Just One. We've played this so much now we're getting a little bit familiar with the words, and sailed to an impressive score even despite our final word not providing a single clue for Katy: Joe and I wrote 'fiddle' Martin and Adam wrote 'Stradavarius'. With nothing to go on at all, Katy guessed water, completely ignoring my charades-style violin-playing on the other side of the table. Maybe she thought I was being sarcastic.

Martin then started canvassing for The Crew before Adam had even got his coat on, and by the time he reached the front door we were already laughing about the rulebook's "gazing at Uranus". We started with a new mission - it didn't matter who won what cards, as long as no player had two tricks more than another player at any one time. It proved very tough, taking us four attempts to pass. In between the tense space-ship repair and anus-related laughs, there was also time for Martin and Katy to continue calling each other c**ts in inventive new ways.

We played two more missions after that, before ending the game with co-operative Wavelength, where Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina still proves to be a surprisingly apt clue for so many cards, as Katy pointed out. Maybe a bit embarrassed about our Uranus behaviour though, we resisted. It was as fun as it always is, but we did very badly, gaining zero bonus cards and finishing on nine points. Lowlights were Joe's "late afternoon" being dramatically light, and Martin's "Michael Gove" being unexpectedly acceptable. "I'd forgotten how reactionary you all are!" Martin complained, when we practically aligned Govey with the Nazis by twisting the dial all the way to Least likeable living person. "I mean, I don't like him" he quickly added.

I also clued Doctors as a fairly bad TV show, only to have the others decide it was pretty much the worst TV show ever even though they'd just been discussing Naked Attraction! Where everyone picks partners based on the appearance of their shaved nobs.

Everyone: 9 - dismal failure!

And that was that. Thanks all, a miniature classic. Hopefully everyone else got a good night's kip and we'll see you soon!