Merry Christmouse

Christmas comes round earlier each year, they say, and this year it came round at two o’clock in the afternoon. I arrived only a little late and found Laura (masked, overcautious, due to being a contact of a contact of a covid case, but asymptomatic (something like that, anyway)), Katy and host Sam. The first game was the Lateral Flow Test Game which has some pretty harsh player elimination rules for those who fail, but both Sam and I won so that was okay.

Our first real game was Whirling Witchcraft, a game I’d watched last week but couldn’t quite work out. It’s pretty simple: you have to keep using ingredients in your cauldron to make more ingredients, but the stuff you make ends up in your neighbour’s cauldron. If they can’t fit it in, then it comes back to you as points. There’s more to it than that but that’s the jist. 

We were mid-way through the first turn when Adam H arrived so we paused the game while he was given a rules explanation from Sam. Katy took the opportunity to indulge in some snack demolition, cleverly combining two separate snacks into a soft cheese and Japanese cracker sandwich.

Once Adam was up to speed, the game commenced and we swapped cubes with cheese-feulled abandon. Katy was first to reach four points, just one off the game winning total, but then she stalled and, two rounds later she found herself very disappointed with the final result, complaining that “all that cheese has gone to my head.”

Adam 8

Andrew 7

Sam 6

Katy 4

Laura 4

Next we played a co-op game: Siege Runedar, in which four players (Katy and Laura teamed up) try to escape from a castle that is under constant attack from orcs.

Before long we remembered why we rarely play co-op games, as failed dice rolls were greeted with sarcastic comments regarding the rollers suitably at orc-repelling. Adam was first to kill, but after that his luck ran out. Given his lack of fondness for dice rolling and co-op games we should have cut him a little slack. But we didn’t.

Mid-game Laura had to go somewhere and while she was away Katy kept the orcs at bay by herself, stating “Laura would be proud” after a particularly successful roll. Then we thought the game had ended, killed by a catapult while Katy was answering the front door, but we checked the rules and found that we’d been far too hard on ourselves: a quick reset and we recommenced.

We lasted long enough for Laura to return (in a new mask) but were soon in a hopeless situation, as we were only one mistake away from triggering any one of four of the game’s criteria for losing. In the end, the monster deck was exhausted, which did us in. Still, lots of fun.

I had to dash off at this point, promising to be back later. In my absence, more games hit the table...

They played Wavelength and got a world record [citation needed] 23 points. Ian won Tsuro, beating (in order of bestness) Adam, Katy, Sam and Laura. Sam won Heck Meck: Sam 7, Laura 6, Adam 4, Ian 1, Katy 0. Finally, Adam won Avenue: Adam 66, Katy 44, Ian 26.

By the time I get back it was 7.30 and Laura had gone, replaced by Martin and the aforementioned Ian. The next game had already been decided for me: Tinners' Trail, and I was up against Ian and Adam. Martin, Katy and Sam played Brian Boru, the game of medieval Irish matchmaking, or something.

In Cornwall, it had been so long since we last played that we had to reference the rule book several times. I started in audacious fashion by selling a pastie. Not sure if that’s a good move. Anyway, Adam bossed round one while Ian was king of the hill in round two. I was in dead last, worried that I might not even hit 54 points – the score you’d get if you only sold pasties all game. But I did have four mines on the board, compared to Adam and Ian’s two each.

Brian Boru was ticking along nicely. “It really builds up,” commented Martin. “Yeah,” agreed Sam, “as the board fills up, those high numbers become really important.” And then Martin said he was referring to the spicy crisps. Sam clarified he was merely externalizing his internal monologue rather than replying but, still, that’s one for the sitcom.

Back in Tinners' Trail I made a comeback of sorts (even getting past the 100 point on the money track), and I scored more in round four but by then the gap was too big to bridge. In the closing stages, Adam was convinced Ian had nabbed the win and he was surprised at his comfortable margin.

I am the Elon Musk of Cornish tin mining

Adam 148

Ian 135

Andrew 120

But if he was surprised by his win, then that was nothing compared to the surprise when cries for help emanated from the front room. Sam leapt into action and Adam followed. The rest of us stayed seated, not wanting to intrude, and soon found out that Sally had seen a mouse. Charlie the house cat, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen so Sam had to catch it. Which, amazingly, he did and he took it, in a cereal box, outside to the end of the garden.

What an exciting episode. And after that, he sat down and finished of Brian Boru. By now, Martin had married twice (Niall and Connell) while Sam bagged himself Estrid, Princess of Denmark but it didn’t seem to help him.

Martin 45

Katy 41

Sam 28

Getting ready for the quiz

Finally, with mice ejected and everyone calmed down, it was time for the annual Christmas quiz. With five of us, it didn’t make sense to split into teams so we sort answered as a co-op team. Round one was “Spot the fake BGG comment” which we did well at, detecting 7 out of 8. Sam simply doesn’t have the sort self-righteous stupidity that the true internet hermit possesses. Then we did a GNN round, based on the post-online meetings. I was surprised how much I couldn’t remember but it was nice to be reminded that “cock-flavoured sand” was once used in Wavelength as the Worst Thing To Put In Your Mouth.

With the quiz done, we played a couple of six-player games. First was So Clover. We got 32 and we could’ve done better with a little more thinking. Ian’s clue of “Webber” made us think of Formula One, but we really should have noticed “cat” and “theatre” to make us think of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Adam’s clue of “Fishnet” for “String” and “screen” was well received.

Martin's

Finally we played Texas Showdown. For a long time it looked like either Ian or Katy would be the ones to go past the game-ending score of ten tricks as the game was swiftly rechristened Texas Bullshit. But they both had good fourth rounds and the game went on long enough for Martin’s form to collapse. Meanwhile, Adam and I vied for first place until I got stung in round four meaning the final round was a cakewalk for Adam.

"The sphincter of safety" (c) Sam 2021

Adam 2

Andrew 5

Sam 9

Ian 11

Katy 11

Martin 12

And with that, Katy and I were done. And, after I came back from the toilet, I discovered that so was everyone else. But what a great day. Sorry that so many weren’t able to attend but there’s always next year. Or did I say that last year...?

Thanks Sam for hosting and quizzing. See you all soon.