Wednesday, 13 November 2019

The Luckiest Casino In The World

Our annual mass exodus from family responsibilities in favour of several days of gaming nonsense took place in a familiar cottage near Taunton - the same venue as last year and all our devices recognised the wifi without needing the password. Sam and I arrived first in the crisp air of a Friday morning in November. Technically we were half an hour early, but the cottage was unlocked and ready for us. We got settled and began our weekend by doing surprisingly well at the Guardian cryptic crossword. Joe, Adam, Ian and Katy were next to arrive at 12:20 and after some arranging and storing of food, we began.

Joe does a few reps before getting started

Sam, Katy, Ian and I began with the aptly named Startups. We played for three rounds, two of which involved Ian sighing in incomprehension followed by a third round where he won handsomely, wiping out all his minus points to date. Thanks to Oink Games usual 2pt, 1pt, -1pt for last place scoring system, it ended pretty evenly.


Sam 2
Andrew 2
Katy 2
Ian 0

Joe and Adam chose a two player war game, Undaunted. Joe won after an attritional battle for farmhouse 13B, apparently.

After this, Katy went for a walk - on her own since no one else seemed keen - while Sam and I went to Waitrose to buy our share of beer and nibbles. Once we were back the others were deep into a game of Artemis Project, which looked like a bit of a beast and came complete with a sort of meeple tower that you would pour meeples are random out onto cards. Jon won, beating Adam by a point.


Sam and I filled the time by playing Assembly, a two-player co-op puzzle game in which you have to open a sealed air lock by moving discs onto cards that have the same symbol. It was entertaining and we managed to open the door with the last turn of the game.


Katy returned and the three of us played Cartographers. I didn’t win, but my map - complete with mountain surrounded by a large lake - seemed to describe a land I’d quite like to visit.


Sam 79
Andrew 77
Katy 69

Now, you remember I began this post by talking about leaving responsibilities behind? Well, alas I found I had one that I couldn’t ignore, so I got back into my car and set off back to Bristol for the evening, promising to be back tomorrow morning. I was somewhat sad about this, but I had little choice.

So, until then, I hand over to Sam to talk us through the proceedings...


After Andrew left I took up temporary blogging duties, with the current situation Joe taking on Adam and Ian at Res Arcana ("Because Martin isn't here") and Steve, Jon and I attacking each other in Rise of Tribes. Katy was busy in the kitchen making a vegetable tagine.


Rise of Tribes began relatively peacefully, as humans perhaps once did, before following well-established pattern of descending into war. Steve and I surged ahead of Jon. Jon urged us to attack each other. We were both hesitant though, knowing that to do so would leave us open to Jon's mustering forces gathering on the other half of the map.

Something had to give, and in the end both Jon and I piled in on Steve (points leader at that point) as Jon's blue tribespeople seemed to proliferate all over the land. He made substantial comeback and a tense finale ensued with all of us potentially one move from victory. I couldn't manage it - Jon was poised to score three points at the start of his turn and win, but Steve was before him in turn order... and he wrapped things up:

Steve 15
Sam 14
Jon 12

Res Arcana ended around the same time, with Joe victorious:

Joe
Adam
Ian

I didn't hear much of what happened at the time, but the next day was assured by Adam that "Joe trounced us in three or four rounds" and by Joe that the game was "hilarious".

The early evening also hosted a staccato game of Tumblin' Dice, but it never ended. At least, not on the day.

After Katy's delicious tea, there were more games to be played. Jon coaxed Adam and Steve into his new acquisition Paladins of the West Kingdom, while I had something close to a mental breakdown trying to remember the rules to Treasure Island. I last played it only two months back but the nuances were totally lost on me and the weird layout of the rulebook meant we spent almost as long working out the (relatively simple) rules as we did playing the game.


Joe was Long John Silver, and hid the treasure somewhere on the island. Ian, Katy and I were pirates looking for it, spending the dwindling days searching before Joe Long John escapes captivity and claims it for himself. It was entertaining, but that might have been partly the ongoing purgatory for Steve and Adam in the nearby game of Paladins.

"I said it was chewy" Jon pointed out.
"You said it was simple!" - Adam
"It is simple. Put a wooden guy on the board!"


Steve worried that there would be an inquisition, and it wasn't entirely clear if he meant the game or not.

Meanwhile Katy found the treasure...

Katy: Rich!

...and we began a game of the long-dormant Alhambra. This used to feature almost every week in the the pre/early blog days, so regularly that between us Joe and I recalled every rule. I think. I built a long wall early on, and found - like Joe - that I was stuck with an alhambra that subsequently resisted the idea of expansion. But late-game we both recovered and my epic wall sealed the win:

Sam 108
Joe 98
Ian 89
Katy 76


Katy felt she should get an extra point for having her surname 'Wall' but we resisted this idea, as there was no structural integrity to it.

Paladins of the West Kingdom was continuing, so we played Mamma Mia. The highlight of which was probably Ian's Italian accent. Or Joe's. We all attempted to make pizzas that ended as ghosts of an idea, but come closing time I claimed the title of Chef with Best Memory/Luck..

Sam 6
Katy/Joe 5 each
Ian 4

Then we played Push It, with Katy and I taking on Ian and Joe. Katy said I should prepare myself for defeat, but actually we ran away with it!

Katy and Sam 11
Joe and Ian 3

The Paladins of the West Kingdom ended! It had been a three hour epic and at time of writing it's still unclear what level of PTSD they are currently undergoing.

Jon 53
Adam 44
Steve 39

Before we joined together for a game of Just One that defied the term 'co-operative' - so drunken, tired and post-Paladiny everyone was that the atmosphere was almost like a begrudging intervention, albeit one punctured by laughter. I don't recall what about now, as I was exhausted at this point and couldn't stop yawning. We didn't do very well.


All of us: 7 - must do better.

Adam, Ian and I all retired at this point, but Joe and Katy partook of further debilitating ingestments and initiated a drunken game of Midnight Party, at midnight. Joe was having some kind of psychotic episode and forgot all the rules, being concerned - he confessed the next day - that his heart might stop beating. Steve remembered them. Katy dealt with the psychosis better and pulled off a win:

Katy -18
Jon -33
Steve -36
Joe -57

And that was it for Friday, at least as far as gaming was concerned. There was still some nighttime weeing in the fields and Joe fell over on the way to his pod.


Meanwhile...

I (Andrew) returned to the cottage mid-morning on Saturday and recommenced blogging duties. The table was already straining under a game of Tales of the Arabian Nights (Joe, Katy and Ian) and a two-player Feast For Odin between Adam and Jon at the end. According to Sam’s notes, Katy was worried that she would still be in jail by the time the game was finished, and Joe found himself grief-stricken.

Adam beat Jon at feast For Odin, after which Jon said he had a headache.


Adam 119
Jon 100

Steve and Sam played Cartographers that ended 88-75 to Sam and then I arrived just in time to join the two of them in a game of Villagers which Steve didn't understand at all for the first couple of rounds. Sam had clearly learned a thing or two having been beaten when playing against his son.

Sam 103
Andrew 84
Steve 81

After this, while we paused and considered our options, Jon taught Sam Getaway Driver, a table top equivalent of all those car chases that used to amaze us when we were nine. He won, too.


Next Sam, Joe, Ian and I embarked upon an epic game: Ancient Civilizations Of The Inner Sea, despite us all having to deal with fatigue/hangovers of various strengths. It was Joe's first game and he surged into an early lead. This,of course meant everyone started picking on him. Then Ian made his move and Sam and I had our hands full with trying to pick on both of them.


We had agreed to only play two epochs, and as we were halfway through the second we were almost neck and neck: Sam 61, Joe 59, me 59, Ian 58. Then, in the final round, I clocked up fourteen points, barging into first position and not even the End Of Game Event could unseat me.

Andrew 76
Ian 72
Joe 68
Sam 67

There was guarded praise for the game from Joe while Sam admitted that it wasn't at its best on a drowsy afternoon. As if to demonstrate that point, Ian retreated to his room to try and sleep off his hangover.

Meanwhile, Jon introduced Katy and Steve to Roam.

Steve 26
Katy 25
Jon 21

While people lazed about, a group of gamers decided to try Sol. I was supposed to explain the rules but my memory of them was too unreliable. I stalled for time by setting up until Sam got to the table and he took over.

It was Jon's first game and he found himself cursed by two offset gates that no one wanted to use. As such, he suffered from an acute lack of energy. Steve refused to drink until five o'clock exactly, even going so far as to pour it a couple of minutes beforehand so he could be really precise.


Sam 29
Adam 29
Steve 25
Andrew 19
Jon 11

During this, a revived (perhaps) Ian and Katy played two games of Kribbeln. First, they drew and then Ian won.


Elsewhere,the ever-present Tumbin' Dice board attracted a new group of gamers. Adam entertained us all by flicking three dice in a row that all scored minus points. He was in second place when that happened.

Jon 120
Andrew 100
Adam 91
Sam 74

And then, just before food, Kribbeln had turned into Push It, where Ian beat Katy 12-7. Joe supplied us all with pasta and tomato salad and following that, we split into two groups. One went down the epic path, embarking on a five-player game of Western Legends. The other three took a route past three different games until one of us gave up and went to bed.

Adam is delighted by the shape he made when peeling a satsuma

The three of us were Sam, Adam and me who broke out Orbit: The International Space Race. I failed to get any of my initial missions and, when the final scoring was announced, Sam admitted to an enormous amount of luck in how the missions he picked up during the game went together.


Sam 47
Adam 27
Andrew 17

Western Legends was played by Steve (who made full use of his American accent throughout), Katy, Ian, Joe and Jon. Joe explained the rules and it took so long that we were halfway through Orbit by the time they’d started. It was a rip-roaring event, judging by the amount of times Katy gleefully called out “Go to the cabaret!” The highlight was a game of poker where Katy saw her full house beaten by Jon’s four of a kind. How cruel.


Ian 25
Katy 23
Jon 22
Joe 16
Steve 11

Ian was so exhausted by this, that he went to bed.

On the other end of the table, Orbit was replaced by Kartel which is a simple game of criminal allegiances.


Andrew 12
Sam 9
Adam 9

And we followed that with Movable Type. “Let’s let Sam win a game,” said Adam when we’d agreed on it. But that turned into a cunning double bluff.

Adam 20 (“Lucky”)
Sam 17 (“Doughing”)
Andrew 15 (“Quiz”)

And now Adam, too, retired for the evening. “But what about Midnight Party?” Katy wailed. Sam and I passed the time until Western Legends ended with Passtally, a clever puzzle game of making links.

Andrew 35
Sam 34

But after Passtally and Western Legends finished, it was still nowhere near midnight. Hugo would have to wait. Instead we played A Fake Artist Goes to New York. I explained the rules to a sceptical Jon, and he didn’t really enjoy it - not his kind of game. I had fun, though. My first key word was Orchestra and it remains a bone of contention if Joe’s drawing of an orchestra pit was far too much of a clue or was brilliant in its execution. Sam, the fake artist, got enough of an idea that he was able to blend in (Katy was accused instead) but he wasn’t able to guess the actual word. Then Jon was found out in the second round, when he couldn’t join in with our hamburger picture.

Next, Sam and Steve retired and the remaining four of us finally dug up Hugo and dumped him on the table. Hugo was very fast up the stairs in each of the three rounds which didn’t suit Joe and his ability to roll ones. Katy finally found out that there were two Hugoes on the die, which explained how unlucky we were in rolling so many of them.


Jon -21
Katy -31
Andrew -54
Joe -54

So, with Midnight Party finished, you might think that was the end of it but there was one more game left in our lungs: Memoarrr. This simple memory game feels like it’s as much against yourself as any of your opponents. It was Jon’s first game and, despite a poor start, he came right back into it.


Jon 7
Andrew 4
Joe 3
Katy 1

What a way to end the evening and start the morning. We finally went to bed to catch some sleep.

On Sunday, I was up first at 7.30am. First, that is, unless you count Adam who’d had to leave his sub-Arctic room for the joys of a sofa. I pottered about quietly, read and did my Japanese homework while waiting for people to wake up.

And they did, making breakfast and slowly getting into gear. Katy informed everyone that there was no pain au chocolat, when there was actually one on her plate! The games began where they left off, with another game of Memoarrr.

Joe 6
Andrew 5
Ian 4

Then Jon, Joe and Katy embarked on Yokohama while at the other end of the table (and of the gaming spectrum) Steve and Sam faced off against each other in three games of Flick Fleet. Sam won the first game but then somehow managed to send his ship too close to the Neutron Star and quickly lost the second round. Steve won the decider in a nail biting finale.

Finally, Ian and I gathered up enough enthusiasm for another game, and decided on Tumblin’ Dice. It was pretty close until the last round which either shows how similar we are in terms of skill, or that Tumblin’ Dice is mostly luck. Ian pulled away in the last round, though, clocking up forty points to my feeble fifteen.

Ian 120
Andrew 98

Next, Adam emerged for his first game: Powerships, against Andrew, Steve, Ian and Sam. Adam found the perfect line to the finish and even landed perfectly on a hyperspace square to get him back even faster, with me, Steve and Ian coming in one move later.


Adam
Andrew
Steve
Ian
Sam

Yokohama finished after Katy insisted that she was enjoying herself even if it might look as if she weren’t.


Jon 155
Katy 142 (“I still had a nice time!”)
Joe 133

We broke for lunch and finally those of us who hadn’t had a walk yet actually went outside. Admittedly, only down the road to the farmhouse to pick up some dishwasher tablets but, nevertheless, this counts as a walk.

Back in the cabin, four of us (Adam, Joe, Steve and Katy) loaded up the saddles once more and rode back into Western Legends. The other four (Jon, Ian, Sam and me) portrayed a different side of American history with Neta Tanka, which involves Native American tribes building the tallest totem pole or most teepees or best craft items. It was an interesting game with plenty of opportunities for screwage after a fairly docile beginning. Ian used The Nomad (an extra meeple that you can buy in order to use in the next round) to take all the meat from the board, leaving Sam bereft. But karma came back in a big way for Ian when he found his penultimate turn ruined by a lack of wood to cook meat. This left his plans in tatters and he ended in full “that’s me fucked, then” mode for the final round.


Jon 47
Sam 38
Andrew 37
Ian 34

In Western Legends, Katy managed to rob a bank, only to find she already had too much money and couldn’t take the $80 with her. She didn’t seem too enamoured with the game this time.


Adam 22 (most marshall points)
Joe 22
Steve 21
Katy 18

Then they banged out a quick No Thanks

Adam 32
Katy 52
Joe 59
Steve 76

Katy went to have a nap at this point while some of us rested. Jon, Ian and Adam had a game of Powerships. Jon came first and then Adam overshot the finish, went around the planet and still got back before Ian did.

Jon
Adam
Ian

Joe, Sam and Steve played Arabian Nights. Joe found himself grief-stricken again while Steve was an envious outlaw on a pilgrimage. Envious, perhaps, of Sam who ended the game first, blessed and respected. That was Steve’s last game of the weekend, and we set him off home with (hopefully) lots to talk about.

Katy came out at some point, looked at the clock and went straight back to bed again saying something about thinking it was one hour later.

Then we played Cartographer:

Adam 95
Ian 92
Andrew 81

Next we play Awkward Guests, an ingeniously designed game which allows multiple murder scenarios to be solved by selecting certain cards from a deck. Then it is up to the detectives to trade clues with each other to try and decide who had killed the victim.


Sam was first to guess, and typed it into the app, only to be greeted with the sound of a sad trombone. I was next, and got the same result. Then, after a while when it looked like no one was getting close, we all guessed again and the last person to guess got it right! Well done Adam.

Next, Katy got her wish for a game of Lords of Vegas. It was Jon’s first turn and he got thrown slightly in at the deep end. Katy and Adam quickly built up large casinos. Katy merging with mine and Adam merging with Jon. People sprawled into vacant lots, only to see them reclaimed later in the game.

Perhaps the craziest story is that of Katy’s eight-tile casino. Once it was impregnable: a seemingly seven-tile solid source of points. She was so confident that when she ran out of dice for new developments, she took on from there, despite my three dice lurking. Then a sprawl was discovered, giving Adam a vital entry and then Jon draw a card allowing him a piece of the action too. This eight-tile behemoth was rerolled several times and, amazingly, it usually ended in Adam’s favour. Even after I rolled everything, and went through four tie-breakers, each time with me as a potential winner, it still went to Adam. Then both Katy and I paid money to Jon to reroll it and Adam won again. Amazing scenes.


Of course, Katy still had options elsewhere, and she had no issues with scoring. Then game carried on much longer than usual and she found herself clocking up a record score, with Adam on his tail. The game over card was fourth from the end.

Katy 66
Adam 60
Andrew 49
Jon 26

The other game being played at that time was Rise of Tribes. Shamefully, I was so caught up in Vegas, I don’t know what happened there.

Ian 15
Sam 13
Joe 11

Followed by Memoarrr, this time the advanced version where the cards move around and stuff.


Sam 9
Joe 4
Ian 2

Lastly the three of them played Just One. As a three-player it worked well with the variant where the guesser can guess the clue in the event of both clue-givers writing the same one.

Then, with all of us in various states of over-excitement, we relaxed for a while and played Sausage & Mash to wind down.


Once we’d winded down, it was time to get tense again with Midnight Party. This time with everyone involved! Sam rolled nothing but Hugoes for all of round one, picking up -14 points in the process. He recovered well, though. But Katy won, beating a pretty close chasing pack.

Katy -10
Andrew -12
Joe -15
Sam -20
Jon -21
Adam -22
Ian -28

With that, it was our final trip to bed before Monday morning, which saw only one game being played among the breakfasting and packing: Passtally. Sam taught it to Adam and Jon and they puzzled over each other’s links before Sam realised that it was nowhere near ending and they had to get moving.



Wednesday, 6 November 2019

See you Next Tuesday

It was a night full of the sounds of distant fireworks from many locations and I walked to Joe's wondering if this is what a war zone sounded like.

Joining me at Joe's, apart from the host, were Katy, Ian, Sam, Martin and Adam T. We started with a little conversation where Martin reminded us of Katy's use of the c-word in his birthday card. She insisted that she wrote that he wasn't a c-word and, besides, she had been under a lot of pressure to write something witty. Martin suggested some kind of code like… C U Next Tuesday. On saying that, we realised that we had been saying See you next Tuesday to each other for nine years. What kind of subliminal messages have we been giving out?

Talking of subliminal messages, our first game was Decrypto with the Laser Disc expansion. Martin, Adam, Joe and Katy faced off against Ian, Sam and I.


In this version of the game, a card drawn from a deck will give a category (famous people, cities, etc) to which at least one of the clues must belong. And if you are able to make all three fit, then you get a laser disc. Collect two and you can use them to guess one of your opponents' words.

This new variant was warmly welcomed by Martin who, on his first round, got a laser disc by having all clues relate to a living celebrity. Then Joe also got a laser disc. By now they had two, but no idea of any of our words. Adam was told not to bother trying for a laser disc. "Don't try to be too flash," was Martin's (unintentional?) pun. But Adam is a proud gamer and if they could do it, so could he. And he did. And he supplied chocolate cake as well. Pity you don't get points for generosity in Decrypto.

On our side, we didn't bother trying to get all three and when we did, we got a miscommunication both times. As such the game finished on round five, delicately poised. We had two miscommunications and two interceptions. They had one of each. It was down to the laser discs. If we could guess a word and they couldn't, we would score an unlikely win.

We correctly got our confident guess (Jack Black plus sponge pudding plus recorder equals School) but then they worked out one of our words at the last minute (runny egg plus Venice plus cold equals Water) and they prevailed.

Katy, Joe, Martin, Adam: piece of cake.
Sam, Ian, Andrew: oh, crumbs.

Then we split into two groups. Martin, Joe, Adam and Sam played Die Crew. But that "die" is the German definite article, not the English exhortation that someone end their life. Ian, Katy and I were remarkably quick (by our standards) to choose Senators as our entertainment.


Oddly, the four-player group decamped to the card table while the three-player game had the whole kitchen table to itself. I heard Martin describe Die Crew as "a mission based co-operative trick-taking game" to which one wit replied "What? Another one?" I know little about it except for getting a yellow five to Joe became very important at one point.


After they played for a while, they were faced with a dilemma. When to stop? The game had another 40+ missions. Should they keep going and head for the moon or try something different? Joe was keen to play Sigma File and after some discussion, they did just that. The moon would have to wait.

Meanwhile, in Senators, it was a ding dong battle. I sped off into an early lead by cashing in a 7-8-9 combo and bought several senators. Then Katy made the running, building up an insurmountable lead mid game but then Ian used Consuls to take points from her and, in one move where he gained four senators, overhaul her. The third war had passed and Katy was desperately holding onto an office card before she cashed in, paying off two extortion attempts by selling a senator, putting her temporarily into last place.


But temporary became permanent when she turned over the next card to find the fourth war. No chance to cash in and she finished in last place.

Ian 16
Andrew 12
Katy 11

After this, I suggested No Thanks. Katy insisted she was terrible and I assured her she can't be worse than me. Ian kept quiet, perhaps not wanting to seem over confident. I started off by picking up the 33, hoping for lots more cards in the thirties that I could milk for coins, but none came out. Not one.

Katy 53
Ian 55
Andrew 101

By this time, Sigma File was ending, with Sam the winner (“I went heavy on Bruno,” he explained) but apart from that, I know very little.


Then they began a game of Cartographers, even going so far as to sharpen their pencils first.

We three never saw the end of that game. We played a game of Las Vegas during which Ian mostly texted and I took a call in round two, much to Katy’s disgust.


Andrew $410,000
Katy $260,000
Ian $240,000

After this, Ian had to go and, frankly, after last week’s midnight finish both Katy and I were keen to finish early. Cartographers was still in full swing so we decided to pack up and leave. We set off at a refreshingly early half past ten, looking forward to an early night.


Except, soon after Katy and I parted, I realised my phone was still at Joe’s. I turned around and ran back to Joe’s house and got there just as Adam was leaving. I soon found my phone and turned down their kind offer of another game, so tired and sweaty that I really needed an early night now. But I was there long enough to hear Sam refer to the game Startups as “Breadsticks” just because he was looking at some while he described it to Martin.

Sam texted me the scores later.


Cartographers:
Martin 100
Adam 95
Sam 84
Joe 73

Startups:
Sam 3
Joe 1
Martin 0

But I finally got home at the usual post-games night time. At least I had my phone. Now it’s all downhill to the games weekend! Woo hoo!

Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Camembert!

This week's games began with a little subterfuge and some secret emails as all but one of Tuesday's attendees arrived at Joe's house a few minutes early to sign Martin's birthday card (Joe took the cover for the game Poison, replacing the title with the word Martin) and admire the cake and present we bought him.

We (Joe, Sam, Ian, Katy, Adam T and me) hit upon the jolly wheeze of hiding the cake in the box for Fauna. Our plan was to tell him that we'd decided to play it, and then amaze him when we revealed the cake inside. A brilliant plan, although we did worry that Martin would see through it, since Fauna doesn't actually play seven.


When he arrived we told him our decision, to general disinterest, and then we suggested that he should open the box. This peculiar request and the expectant grins on our faces must have tipped him off but he still had the decency to act a little surprised when he saw the cake.

But enough birthday jollities. We needed to play some games. We started with a big communal game of Just One, using our excellent Bonus Point variant - if the guesser can guess what any duplicate clues might be they score a point. We got a couple bonus points, with Katy guessing that two of us wrote Ogre for Shrek, and Joe guessed that Dummy had been eliminated from the clues for Comforter.

Katy stretched the rules when her clue for Baby was to write the word Human in really small letters. "Human," said Martin as he read it, "really small human..." and this lead him to the correct answer. Effective but not strictly kosher.

Everyone: 11 points

Now we split into groups. Martin had previously mentioned that he would like to play Tigris and Euphrates and Adam had brought T&E: the card game. Martin said he'd never played it and Joe, thinking that might level the playing field against T&E expert Martin, agreed to join them.

Sam, Ian, Katy and I played Rise Of Tribes. This simple but combative game is all about achieving criteria on cards in order to score points. Hit 15 points and it's an instawin.

It was interesting, with quite a bit of downtime between goes, but entertaining to watch other players move sabre toothed tigers around (with sound effects, if you were Katy).


Katy and Sam found themselves stepping on each other's toes in one half of the board, I sprawled leisurely down the middle of the map and Ian built point scoring villages in the west.

It was a ding dong battle, with the lead changing several times and as we neared the end, choices over actions became confounded with the desire to not allow someone else a chance at victory. Sam found himself in such a position where his best move would wipe Katy off the map and, therefore, give me the win. In the end, he went for a more risky, less destructive strategy and drew cards that he hoped might score points (see also, Ticket To Ride and Orbit). It didn't work and I won that turn anyway. All that remained was to put the pieces back in the snugly fitting foam inlay. Which turned out to be quite a challenge.


Andrew 15
Katy 13
Sam 12
Ian 9

As for Tigris and Euphrates The Card Game, Joe got off to a bad start when, during the rules explanation, he pointed to a stack of something and said "Are these catastrophies?" only to be informed that, actually, those were treasures. That's the sort of thing that a Pharaoh should know.

At the end (after a brief pause for cake) Adam insisted it was all luck while Martin commented that it was just like the board game version.


Martin 6
Joe 4
Adam 3

While waiting for us to finish they played 99. I know nothing about this game and the in-game banter was impenetrable, but Martin won again.


Martin 117
Joe 54
Adam 7

Now we were all together, there was a little reshuffling. Martin, Joe, Adam and Katy chose Clash of the Gladiators; a massive punch up in an arena with dice arenas, one of which was particularly bouncy. .

Was Martin really invested in the game when he asked rhetorically "Why do we need to fight?" Katy soon found herself relying on the success of wildlife as she called out "Come on, bear!" Adam was good enough to say that the game was very silly... while he stood over their blood stained corpses.


Adam 17
Joe 15
Martin 13
Katy 8

Ian Sam and I played Cartographers, a roll and write game with cards and occasional opportunities to write on an opponents paper. There was an Isle Of Skye style scoring system, where two different criteria scored each round. Sam got hit by explainer's curse while Ian won after winning from the start.


Ian 56
Andrew 46
Sam 39

It was fun, like a meaner Avenue.

Then Ian left and Sam and I knocked out a quick Flick Fleet in which I (the evil empire) beat Sam.


When 99 ended, Adam left and the five of us banged out a game of Stinker. A game we all know and love, although apparently Katy didn’t know you had to say “Stinker” when you had an answer. Tsk.

Highlights (one from each player) were...

Worst possible gift: God’s rectum (Andrew, but only after Sam said no one deserved it)
How to win a sword fight without a sword: Hide in sofa (Martin)
Best meal to cook when meeting in-laws: Coq au Arse (Joe)
An elevator pitch for a movie: Yes it’s great n stuff (Katy)
Something you don’t want to hear your spouse say: Eating shit later (Sam)

Such was the fun we were having, that we went around the table three times!

Best meal for the in-laws: a noble second place for Martin

Joe 39
Katy 35
Martin 33
Andrew 30
Sam 28

This amount of fun is almost decadent and both Katy and I walked home with our joy tinged with a hint of regret that neither of us would get to our respective beds before midnight. But still, a fun evening. Thanks all.

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Bring Your Own Cestus

Tuesday arrived with yet more drama playing out in Parliament - I mention this because I hope one day we'll look back and laugh, but probably not - and so we grasped preoccupations of our own with which to spend the evening. Rovers having a match on meant Joe and Adam were struggling to find places to park, however, so there was a conversation between myself (Sam), Katy, Ian and Sally that lasted at least five minutes.

"Will you be joining us tonight?" Katy asked, but Sally declined. She had children to wrangle into bed, an event they always resist with increasingly demented strategies.

By the time all the willing gamers were finally sat at the table, it was nearing 8 o'clock, and we kicked off with a six-player Bring Your Own Book. Adam had brought his own (Thomas Pynchon) so from our bookshelves we mixed in Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Carson McCullers, Zadie Smith, Nick Hornby, and the British Gardeners Guide to Insects.

Joe won this with "How much have you drunk?"

Adam grabbed an early lead with his answer to what one might see on a bumper sticker: I'm driving along the freeway looking for Volkswagens to destroy. Ian requested a name for a Battleship and most of us found suitably aggressive-sounding monikers, but Katy took the point with Puddles

Step five in Katy taking over the world was Vibrate, vibrate, and vibrate again (although I still liked my suggestion of several bird calls). My craft beer was called Fuck you, leave me alone and at the end of a good half-hour of Stinker-like nonsense, Adam took the win. 

With the hour closer to 9 than 8, the day's talk of Pax Pamir dissipated with Martin, Adam and Katy trying out Martin's latest Knizian Fix: Clash of the Gladiators. I - along with Joe and Ian - was fixated on our dubiously-motived scramble around Africana, so didn't pick up much about the game aside from the fact there was a lot of swearing going on. When I asked if the game was any good, Martin replied "Yes! Adam just twatted a lion"


Meantime Ian's eerie predictions of his own demise looked like coming true in Africana as we both found ourselves in the northern hemisphere when all the expeditions started in the south - where Joe was. He led the early running, and my optimism aligned aligned to Ian's when I paid no less than eight coins to keep turning the pages of the book (what is the book?) in order to find myself another assistant. 


I love the simplicity of Africana though, even if fate can occasionally crap on you from a height: twice I had a large hand of cards but was unable to use them to any effect. Ian and I thought Joe had the game stitched up, but thanks to my expedition cards I managed an unlikely win. And Ian was closer than we all expected...

Sam 36
Joe 32
Ian 28

At the other end of the table, after some talk about 'fucking the bear' ("Can you fuck it nicely?" Katy asked) Clash of the Gladiators had also finished:

Adam 20
Katy 18
Martin 17

Gladiators: Ready!

The verdict was broadly positive, so hopefully we'll see it again. They'd also squeezed in a game of Hats...

Martin 42
Adam 36
Katy 34

And after Adam retired for the evening, Katy and Martin played a round of Maskmen:

Martin 2
Katy 1

After Africana, Ian elected to depart as well, leaving us as a four. We decided on Polterfass as a nice 10pm game, and began rolling barrels like our livelihoods depended on it. Thank God they actually don't, though, because as always in Polterfass I repeatedly shot myself in the foot, even allowing Katy - 30 points behind me at one stage - to overhaul me. The battle for first was always between Martin and Joe, and Martin's cause was harpooned when we collectively bid for all of his beer. The smirk was wiped from my face when the same thing happened to me moments later - but the round of the night was the final one, where Katy scored a whopping 21 beers and Joe staggered drunkenly over the victory line. Katy caught Martin for joint second.

Joe 84
Martin / Katy 47
Sam 37

I asked if there was a tie-breaker and everyone scathingly cried "What, for second place?" as though I was pedantically foot-noting. I don't know, it's not the same without Andrew here... I forgot to take photos of Polterfass, but here is the box from a funny angle.


The last game of the night was a newbie - Startups, from Oink games - purveyors of interesting decisions and graphically-pleasing bits in small boxes. I wondered if it was a bit late to be learning any rules but Martin batted my feebleness aside, even though he admitted Oink rulebooks were usually "a bit weird".

Point rewards left; Monopoly tokens right

The game is a bit weird too.  A deck of cards represents several startup companies, and during play you're building a tableau of these cards in front of you. At the end of the round what you're aiming for is the most of the company cards you've collected - anyone who has less of that type of card has to pay you, and most money wins the round. It's classic Oink scoring - 2points for first, 1point for second, -1point for last place.


On your turn you pick up a card, and play a card - but inevitably there are catches. The card you pick up can be a free face-up card from the collective dumping ground (the market), or the top card from the deck if you want to pay a coin to any face-up cards in the market. You can then play a card into either the market, or your tableau. Having the most of a type of card gets you the monopoly token - now you don't have to pay to any matching cards in the market - but you're not allowed to pick them up either!


What this makes for is a jostle for positioning on various companies and the desire to avoid having certain cards means you may - as I did, twice - end up spending far too much money avoiding them. A final twist: when the deck runs out the three cards in your hand get added to your tableau, and (unless there are ties) coins are paid to all the monopoly holders before points are scored.

I finished the first two round in third, but collapsed to ignominy in the final round. The others fared a little better - Martin went from a shocking opening round to grabbing the win:

Martin 3
Katy 2
Joe 2
Sam -1

This time there was a decider - Katy won the tie-breaker to claim second. We all liked Startups - very, very Oinky and I think a bit less procedural feeling than Flotsam Fight - closer to Maskmen in how hard it is to get a handle on - in a good way.

But with the hour now 11 o'clock, it was time to head home to bed. Until next time... thank you all, it was special.