Friday, 30 October 2015

The Cursed Island

It’s Hallowe’en tomorrow and so to celebrate this macabre twin of St Valentine’s Day I thought I’d play the spookiest scenario on Robinson Crusoe: The Cursed Island.

Day One

I, the ship’s cook, am the only survivor from our expedition of exorcists to lift the curse on a distant island. A storm took our ship and smashed it to pieces. Thankfully, by the grace of God, I survived. But why God chose to save the cook, I cannot guess. My mission is to built five crosses on this island, which will surely drive the demons out.

On my first day I befriend a native (who I shall call Friday) and his dog. Lovely people. Clearly an exception since this is a cursed island, after all.

I explore some hills to the east and find an old map which, for some reason, cheers me up. I also find another native willing to help me build things. Two exceptions in one day! How fortunate!

Day Two

We all stayed in and built things. Friday and I built a pot which we then immediately broke. At least the shovel we also made stayed in one piece.

A simple day spent in the company of genuine, honest folk. I have to keep reminding myself that they are possessed and need saving.

Day Three

I took the dog exploring in some mountains and severely wounded myself when I found the Altar Of Death. They shouldn’t make the corners so sharp.

We succeeded in making a pot that lasts. Mysterious fog shrouded the rolling hills to the east. It had an air of foreboding...

Day Four

I could hear movement in the undergrowth, and had to prepare myself for a fight. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it sounded very loud. I get the feeling it will attack first thing tomorrow morning.

I made a knife. Let it do its worst.

Day Five

It was a wild tapir! I killed it easily.

Invigorated by my slaughter, I set out to build my first cross. I put it in the mountains. Ha! Take that, Altar Of Death!

I also found a sacrificial dagger. As a pagan artifact, I should throw it away, but it’ll come in handy for whittling, etc.

Day Six

Like yesterday, I explored and built. The weather took a turn for the worse and I was unprepared, unless you count an unwavering faith in the Lord as “prepared”.

In some foggy hills I found a cultist hideout. How disgraceful. Although one did offer to help me build something tomorrow. Nice chap.

I built another cross. Two down, three to go.

The weather tonight could not have been worse. I burnt all my wood just to keep warm during this unseasonable snowstorm.

Day Seven

Friday was looking very ill. He drew me a map of the island and it almost killed him! I wondered if he’ll last much longer. If he does die, though, this map is a lovely parting gesture.

I built a fire and fireplace with help from the natives. I kept asking them about the curse, but they didn’t seem to know what I was talking about.

Day Eight

I woke up despondant. There’s no way I could get both wood for another cross and enough food in one day. My plan was surely doomed.

Then I remembered I have a pipe and tobacco and a flask of rum and suddenly I felt much better about things. Still no actual food or wood, though.

I discovered wide open plains and another native who was willing to help me. What lovely people. You’d hardly guess they were all possessed by the devil.

Day Nine

Attacked by a wild fox! Killed it easily. Ha!

Friday went out alone looking for wood and, to my surprise, he came back alive! Judging by his ill health, I had expected to never see him again.

I attempted to build a cross, but fail. This surely spelt the end of my plan to lift the curse on this beautiful island full of generous people.

The weather tonight was driving rain and snow, and I finished the rest of my wood keeping a fire going. It wasn’t possible for me to complete my plan, so I have decided to close this diary here.

I am cursed to live among these helpful, humorous people who know nothing of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Except... this idyllic place seems awfully close to my idea of heaven...

Oh my. Perhaps I didn’t survive the shipwreck after all!

1 comment:

  1. Lovely Andrew. Particularly the ending which brought to mind the Incredible Shrinking Man.