Sometimes you get what you ask for

With Ian away giving his dad whiskey for breakfast or something, super-sub Sam stepped in to make up our regular foursome. He wasn’t on top form, however, having recently spent some quality time with the toilet for reasons he couldn’t fathom. Joe drove us to Martin’s house where we set up with the easy familiarity that you might expect after two years. Previous leader Joe omoniously predicted that he was in for “a big loss”. We rolled to see who’d start and three of us rolled nines. I was the only one to roll a nine after that, so I began.

I started in Gallia, Sam in Pannonia, Martin in Macedonia and Joe in Thracia.

In round one we all went two red, three blue and took identical options. But before that, the very first crisis roll sent a Sassanid onto the board, into Galatia. I think that’s the first time that a barbarian made a move before a human did.

I took Hispania, Sam took Britannia, Martin took Africa and Joe (after a second Sassanid went into Syria) took Asia.

In round two I hired a general and built a basilica in Hispania. Sam did the same, putting his building in Britannia. But by now every barbarian had a least one active tribe on our borders. Then Martin sent a Nomad into his own Africa. He had to kill it off, meaning he couldn’t hire a general, but he still built a Basilica in Macedonia. Joe hired a general and built a Limes in Thracia.

In round three I got voted into Syria and tributed the Sassanid there. Sam sent a Nomad into unoccupied Aegyptus and was then voted in there, tributing the Nomad. Martin said “I’m buggered unless I roll Pax Deorum,” at which point he rolled 1-1. The exact opposite of what he needed as new barbarians appeared on our borders.

However, Martin’s pessimism with his 4B 2R hand was unjustified as he moved his army from Africa to Italia, meaning he needed just three votes to unseat the neutral emperor. He hired a governor and still had two blue points left over and a Basilica: three votes! He was the game’s first emperor at 8.27pm.

Joe began his dalliance with bad luck tonight by sending three Alamanni from their homelands into his own Thracia. They were placated by a Limes, but it was still an unwelcome invasion. Meanwhile, he got voted into Emperor Martin’s undefended Africa and then Tributed the Nomad in Sam’s Africa for “unspecified favours” in the future.

The scores now were Martin 15, Andrew 9, Sam 9, Joe 9

In round four I added a legion to Syria and killed the Sassanid there. My plan at the time was to rack up points by building a super army in the east and wander around, killing barbarians, since that seemed to be the way the game was going. And I built a Limes in Gallia.

Sam sent two more Goths into Joe’s already over-populated Thracia. Plus, Sam had a hand of nine blue points which was ample to unseat Martin and become Emperor at 8.39. It was a short lived reign as Martin’s “rainbow hand” (3R 3B 3Y) allowed him straight back into the senate again as the Emperor of a very small empire (Just Italia and Macedonia), and he built a second army in Macedonia. But not before his crisis roll had put a third Goth into Thracia. Joe was not reassured by the fact that it was now impossible for another barbarian to invade because Thracia was full.

Joe, meanwhile, had things to do. With 5R and 2Y he added a legion in Thracia, attacked the Allamani and wiped them out, but got three hits in reply losing his militia and wounding both legions. He healed one legion and used a Forced March to attack the Goths. They won, two hits to Joe’s one but were still inactive thanks to Joe’s Limes. Then he boosted support in Africa.

Martin 20, Joe 18, Andrew 17, Sam 16

Round five saw an Alamanni go into Sam’s Pannonia. I foederatied the Nomad in Aegyptus into my Syrian army and then moved it up to Galatia, beating the Sassanid there for points. I then had enough blue points that I was able to buy my level five governor! And had enough left over to get voted into Galatia. I was feeling good about my position with four territories: Hispania, Gallia, Galatia and the undefended Syria. But I’d been here before and seen it all go wrong so I wasn’t about to get carried away.

Sam then sent three Franks into his own Britannia. This caused a quandry. Which should he save? Britannia or Pannonia? And with only 2Y 3R to do it. HIs response was neat and efficient. He attacked and beat the Alamanni in Pannonia, boosted support in Britannia and added a legion there in preparation for the battle to come.

Emperor Martin finally rolled a seven for the crisis roll. The first of the game! “Posthumus. Fuck.” said Martin as he drew himself a rival emperor. It went into my Gallia which at first was annoying but then I thought it might be useful to keep him alive to stop Martin getting any more Emperor turns. Martin 92R 2B 1Y) moved his army from Macedonia to my Syria and got voted in there.

Joe (4B 3R) took his army from Africa to Italia and fought Martin there, losing 2-1. He then bought a level four governor before ending his “desperately shit turn.”

Martin 28, Andrew 26, Sam 23, Joe 22

Round six began with me rolling another 1-1 crisis roll. Ira Deorum! Barbarians appeared on all borders again. With my 2Y 2B 4R I added legions to Hispania and Gallia, bought a level two governor and boosted support in Gallia which then fell back down thanks to Postumus. A quite round, but deliberately so. I had plans.

Sam’s crisis roll sent four goths onto the board: three into Joe’s Asia and one carried on into Martin’s Macedonia. He (4R 2Y 3B) used his Spiculum to wipe out the remaining Franks in Britannia, and then boosted support in Pannonia. He tried to get voted into Joe’s undefended Africa, needing four votes with three dice, but only got three votes. Then, to fulfil his earlier promise of “unspecified favours,” he tributed the Goths in Joe’s Asia.

Emperor Martin moved his army from Macedonia into Thracia and attacked Joe, wiping him out. He was then voted in there too, and boosted support there for good measure. He was now hosting barbarians in both Macedonia and Thracia. A perilous situation.

And one that instantly got worse as Joe’s crisis roll sent three Alamanni into Martin’s Thracia. Joe moved his army from Asia into Martin’s Macedonia and beat the remaining militia. He used his Forced March to attack the Goth tribe there as well, but failed. His entire military force currently consisted of one wounded legion. Not to be downhearted, he got voted into Macedonia, only to see his Asia go neutral.

Martin 38, Sam 32, Andrew 31, Joe 27

In round seven, I pounced. I figured that everyone had barbarian issues that’ll distract them, so I used my 4R 5B hand to go for Rome. First, my army went from Hispania into Italia and defeated Martin’s wounded legion. Then my army in Gallia beat Postumus. I got myself voted into Asia, tibuting the Goths there, and then finally into Rome as a level five emperor, needing twelve votes if anyone wanted to unseat me! I was even able to buy two level four cards in one go. I had never experienced such riches. It was only 9.40 but Martin was already predicting my certain victory.

Sam (7B 3R) killed some more Franks in Britannia, got voted into my Hispania and added a legion in Pannonia. I later found out that he had been planning on unseating Martin in Rome on that turn. Good job I got there in time.

Martin, with armies in Thracia and Syria, is too far away to do me any real damage and still save himself. He had 3R 3Y 2B so he added a legion in Thracia, beat the Goths there and then got himself voted into Asia after turning it neutral with a Mobile Vulgus. He then boosted support there.

Joe (4R 3B) built an army in Africa, sent it into Italia where it was promptly wiped out by my army stationed there. He then lost an election in Sam’s Hispania. Sadly, only the most recent in a long list of misfortunes to befall him this night.

Andrew 49, Martin 46, Sam 42, Joe 30

At the start of round eight, with my eye on hitting sixty points, I opined out loud that “I’d quite like a Pax Deorum.” I then consequently rolled a 6-6. I added a four red to my hand to make 9R 4B 3Y. I healed and reinforced my army in Italia. I sent my Gallian army into the Franks homeland and beat the barbarian there. Got voted into Hispania and then sent my army from Galatia into Asia, hoping to beat the Goths there, but lost. That last battle was just a flourish since, by then, I’d got past sixty points. Still, it would’ve been nice. I triggered the end of the game at only 10.05pm.

Sam (7B 3R) failed in his attempt to win an election in Hispania but succeeded in Gallia. In a final push for points he sent his three-legion army from Britannia into the Sahara to attack the four barbarians who’d been sitting there doing nothing for most of the game. But the battle ended in a 2-2 draw and he came away empty handed.

The Nomads, once again, massed on the borders seemingly happy to watch

Martin (1Y 3B 6R) rolled an event and drew Bad Augeries from the deck. Roman legions now needed to roll one higher in order to hit. “That’s not what I needed,” he sighed. He charged into Italia with a Spiculum, but it wasn’t as effective as Sam’s was and it does only one hit. In the following battle, I won 2-1. Lastly, my Hispania survived another election, when Martin rolled only 5-1-1.

Lastly Joe, (1B 5R 5Y) healed his legion in Macedonia and killed the Goth there. He built an army in Africa and bravely sent it into Nomadland where it was promptly killed by the remaining two barbarians. Then it was his turn to not get voted into Hispania as my undefended territory seemed to have a charmed life in this final round. Then, just for style, he built an amphitheatre.

Andrew 74
Martin 59
Sam 51
Joe 37

My first win in over two years (and that was a three-player game) and quite a relief. I was kind of lucky in that barbarians mostly didn't attack me but, then again, with a hand full of foederaties and red points, I had initially wanted them too. Plus, Joe had appalling luck with the dice and Martin was screwed by the only two events we had in the whole game. Postumus was especially damaging to him. And that Pax Deorum was absurdly lucky for me.

After this we played Polterfass, a game which Sam mentioned that he’d finished in minus figures last time he’d played. And, mid-game, his pessimism seemed justified as he lay on eight points, thirty-one behind the then leader Joe. He fumed good-naturedly at our choice of rerolling when he was convinced we were about the stick, making a mockery of his low bet.

But halfway through, the tide turned and he began picking up points. Martin, though, was looking set for the win when we luckily bid nine between us when he stuck on nine barrels. Then, once again, luck shone on me. My first roll was a measly Seven barrel. They made their bids but I figured in order to win, I’d have to go big, so I rolled again.

I got this.

I stuck, and ended up scoring twenty-five points that round, pushing me into an unlikely first.

Andrew 77
Martin 75
Sam 45
Joe 45

Thanks everyone. What an evening. I may never see its like again.