Ikea wardrobes and gravestones

When Gary Numan's Tubeway Army sang "Are Friends Electric?" back in 1979 he could well have been singing about the new look GNN that entered its second week of social distancing this Tuesday.

Six of us met up on the Discord server, Ian, Martin, Joe, Katy, Sam and - a few minutes late - me.

When I arrived/logged on they were playing Bring Your Own Book, a game that translates quite easily to remote play. This time there was a little variant where players wouldn't announce their books so they could be guessed by the others at the end of the game.

I came in halfway through but with no attempt at keeping score, this wasn’t a problem. I grabbed my copy of “The women who built Bristol” hoping it would have enough variety for a range of amusing retorts. It didn’t. We only played a few rounds, one of which was “Something you’d be surprised to find in a coat pocket” which Sam won with “Christmas.”

Then we encountered technical difficulties as Martin’s audio kept cutting in and out. His long, weary sigh worthy of a Jane Austen novel came through loud and clear though. We decamped from Discord and set up on Google Hangouts to finish of Bring Your Own Book.

Then we played Wavelength with Katy in charge of the dial and cards. Our first category was “Smelly in a good/bad way” to which Katy clued “Hair.” A baffling choice that kind of lead us towards a middling result and we were lucky enough to hit 3 points!

We then went through a see-saw game, alternating between three points and not scoring at all before collapsing with two fails. Joe’s clue for “Wet/dry” was “banana” and we were hopelessly wrong, putting it far wetter than Joe had. “You don’t get banana juice for a reason,” Joe grumbled afterwards. Another failure was Sam’s clue of “umbrella” for “Fragile/Durable.” Our deliberations involved a lengthy detour concerning an umbrella made of sausages. It didn’t help us get the right answer. By means of explanation, Sam mentioned that at the durable end of his scale were “Ikea wardrobes and gravestones” which was notable enough for me to write it down.

Score: nine points.

Finally we all set up on the slow and juddering website Yucata for another game of Las Vegas. Joe pointed out that his German copy of the game was called Vegas and he wondered if it might be worth something. I mused that, being German, it should’ve been called Das Vegas. Joe may have a copy of his won, but he still needed to be reminded of the rules after he tried to put his four dice in the two casino.

There was a little smutty innuendo regarding sticking things in the golden nugget and me saying “Don’t hold onto your neutrals too long” and Joe replying “they can blow up in your face.”

Joe was in fine form with his wit, rules confusion and, additionally, an inability at scoring at all in the first two rounds. How we laughed (“we” meaning us, not Joe). In round three he finally scored by putting six dice into one casino. He then won round four which, surprisingly, was enough to get him out of last place. I won what was a close game.

Andrew $300,000
Martin $280,000
Ian $250,000
Joe $230,000
Katy $220,000

And with that, we set off home except that we were all home. Thanks all for the entertainment. See you all next week.

End of the evening, all cameras turned off

Viva Las Vegas, Viva GNN

With Covid 19 making its unwelcome way around the world, it made no sense to ignore all medical advice and meet up, especially with our longstanding snack-sharing habits and tendency to high-five or spit insults at each other. Times are worrying, but when worrying times are upon us it does no good to simply wring our hands - and to that end, Ian set up a Discord channel and Adam, Andrew, Martin and I all joined him on the hallowed Tuesday evening... to play a game.

Initially the web wasn't that welcoming - with thousands if not millions around the world having the same idea, two gaming websites were struggling with traffic. Then Martin suggested yucata.de and after a bit of discussion over how much he would hate Castles of Burgundy - one day we'll know - we settled on the mini-classic that is Las Vegas.

vegas

Yucata's gaming interface was pretty straightforward - even a dunce like me could, eventually, work out how to use it. It was intriguing though to hear the others all trying out various buttons whilst we were online. I was relieved I knew how to take my turn, particularly after we discovered that we were all seeing different colours. To me, I was red, but to everyone else I was blue or green or something.

Ian to me

In the game itself Ian and Adam got off to a flier whilst Andrew and I tailed behind. Martin got stiffed in the first round and looked to be out of it after the second he was so far behind. He then had a very strong third to come back into contention, but at this point we were all trying to stop Adam - words that over the last nine and a bit years have so often come with the addendum: in vain.

Round four wrapped the game up as Adam yet again scored big and wrapped up a convincing win:

Adam $280,000

Ian  $260,000

Andrew/Sam $250,000

qwertyMartin $180,000

Martin and I had to then exit, I'm not sure if the others went on to play something else...? I hope so. Although it's not the same as being in the room together, there was something really lovely about hearing everyone still being: Hannah's peals of laughter in the background, Ian's music, Andrew's habit of speaking in a very quiet voice away from the mic, while Stan and Joe came in and out and examined the screen in fascination. All rather lovely.... again next week?

Stay safe all 

x

Choc Rocking Beats

Two weeks ago, late withdrawals lead to us going from ten attendees down to five. This week, we went from seven down to five. Does this make us more popular or less?

The five of us were Martin, Katy, Sam, Joe and me with Joe expected a little late so we began as a four. First we banged out a quick Gold Fever. Its King-of-the-hill type strategy of attacking the leader meant that I ended the game with very few stones in my sack at all since I was never a threat. Sam won it, though, declaring “I’m going for it!” before pulling another gold nugget from his bag.

Sam 4
Martin 3
Katy 3
Andrew 2

Still no Joe, so we played L.A.M.A. Katy went clear in round two but, pivotally, Sam went clear in round four when the rest of us were laden with cards and he was able to put back a ten-point token.

Sam 20
Katy 23
Martin 38
Andrew 50

But still no Joe. Twice now the method of starting a game, expecting it to be interrupted by a knock on the door had failed. We debated what to play and Katy suggested Beowulf again, only to see it rejected again. Instead we went for a new game, King Chocolate. While we set up Joe finally arrived, a little frazzled after his ordeal in trying to find a parking space. He sat down at his allocated space and was introduced to the world of making chocolate.

In this game players place tiles in the shape of two conjoined hexagons that become areas representing different stages of chocolate productions from bean to chocolate via things like "nibs" and "liquor." It was pretty bemusing. With six stages of production but only four workers per player, the game required a certain amount of cooperation. We seemed unwilling to go down that path and did so only begrudgingly, especially if it benefited Martin and his vast liquor fields.

Katy initially gave herself a winning score but among widespread surprise, not least from herself, at her victory, she remembered a potential mistake when changing some currency and then she nobly took five points off her score, giving Sam his third win of the evening.

Sam 49
Katy 48
Joe 47
Martin 36
Andrew 27


Next up, we were in the mood for something silly and knockabout. Stinker was brought back to the table after too long away. I didn’t even remember the rules and I started slowly, scoring nothing for the first five cards. Katy’s new Nike slogan, “Love de shoe” was an early winner, as was her “Go arses” which was her way of telling people to leave. I got back into the groove, though, with my reason for being sent to the headmaster’s office: Tintin cosplay. This was hard for Martin to take since he’d made an answer using all of his tiles. Martin did okay, though, with quality answers like: tips to give a marathon runner - Move more haughtily.

Martin 40
Katy 40
Andrew 30
Sam 30
Joe 26

Next up we played co-operative Wavelength. We did better than before, and the card-winning answers were Dog/Cat name = Rover (from Joe, who admitted it was too easy), Un/hygenic + washing your hands for thirty seconds (Martin’s tweaking of health advice put us on the right track) and Gossip/News = Katie Price’s maternity dress (from me, and I suspect this was blind luck, although they did discuss it a lot).

Harmless or harmful: according to Katy, a pencil is pretty lethal.

Us: 18 points

Then, as we put it away, we marvelled at the best box fart in town.

Katy went back at this stage so the remaining four played Melee: a short war game with some very nice 16-bit graphics. Each player got a castle and then a limited number of moves and money to wage war on your neighbours. War is curious: the attacker reveals how much money they have in total and then they put some (or all) of that in a closed fist. The defender has to guess how much is in there. Get it right and they successfully defend. Get it wrong and they are vanquished.

It was, you know, fun. Joe and I attacked each other. Martin attacked Sam who successfully defended, but then lost to Martin’s knight. Not to be downhearted, he rallied and took the centre area which gave him another win.

Sam 3 provinces
Joe 2
Andrew 2
Martin 1

It was okay. Hard to tell, really, it was over so soon. But we were quite pooped and we bade our farewells for another week. Thanks for hosting Sam, see you all next week which will apparently involve cake.

Have a Knizia. Have a-knother Knizia

I arrived at Joe's studio after seven to find the evening in full swing. Joe, Andy, Sam, Katy and Anja were playing a boisterous game of Money, the first of many Reiner Knizia games to grace the table tonight. Before I’d even got my coat off, Katy told me she’d been winning but wasn’t anymore. I sat down to watch and was so comfortable that I didn't get up to answer the door despite me being the only one not participating. It ended

Katy 1420
Anja 1400
Sam 1380
Joe 1360
Andy 1350

A close game, but I especially enjoyed Joe saying “that’s what I want” when picking up his selection of cards. Money: that’s what I want. Get it?

Never mind. During this game, Martin arrived and introduced us to In Vino Morte. Very simple. Everyone is dealt a card face down which is either wine or poison. The dealer chooses who gets what. Then they can either drink and reveal the card instantly or, if they think the dealer slipped them a mickey, they can swap with someone else who hasn’t revealed yet. Once everyone has made a decision, everyone reveals what they’ve got. Continue until one is left alive.

We played twice. Sam seemed to have struck upon a clever bluff when he dealt to me, Martin and himself by saying “oh no, I fucked up” leaving us wondering how you could fuck it up. Anyway, I won that won by taking Martin’s card in the final round and giving him my poison. Round two, it ended with Katy versus Martin and Katy drank straight away and won.

We split into two. Joe, Katy and Andy played Tajuto. All I know about this was it took a long time for anyone to score any points.

Joe 13
Katy 8
Andy 8

The rest of us played Babylonia for another Kniz fix. I put down five farmers early on and leapt into the lead. Anja swooped in and grabbed farm tiles and then she was in the lead. Sam went big in cities and got the city bonus tile and before long he was in the lead. Martin cursed me for scoring a city that got Sam nine points when he could have completed it without it scoring at all. I was pleased with beating 100 points, but I looked forlornly at my 18 point move which would never be played since the penultimate city was scored and the game ended.

Sam 152
Martin 147
Anja 116
Andrew 110

Then two quick games of In Vino Morte where the final rounds were Martin beating me and then me beating Anja. Four games and I’d been in the final three times. Finally, a game other than Fuji Flush that I seem to be good at.

Anja left for home at this point so two new groups emerged. Tajuto with Joe, Sam and Martin and Downfall of Pompeii with Andy, Katy and me.

Pompeii began with the usual rules check regarding the set up. Then we populated and depopulated the doomed Roman city with abandon. I got what meeples I could to safety pretty early on, but couldn’t draw the necessary lava tiles to stop the other two.

Katy 13
Andy 11
Andrew 10

I didn’t follow Tajuto at all, apart from noting down that Joe’s heavy sigh of “Fucking finally!” at one point of the game.I guess his point scoring came even later than before.

Sam 15
Martin 14
Joe 4

Then they played Letter Press, which is a reworked Moveable Type or something.

Joe 25 (“Wrecking”)
Martin 19 (“Quizzed”)
Sam 17 (“Whites”)

And we played Keltis, the card game. This now means I’ve played all three types of Keltis. I feel like I should have a badge.

Andy 24
Katy 19
Andrew 18

Then, with the eleventh hour approaching and an offer of a lift from Sam, Katy and I jumped ship and everyone else called it a day, too. Thanks everyone. It was a gem.

You only Die Thrice

On Saturday night Andrew, Chris, Joe and I converged for our long-mooted, 50th-birthday-marking game of Xia: Legends of a Drift System. This is a sandbox-in-space: everyone starts off as a lowly nobody, and like their pathetic earth-bound brethren, all they want is to be famous. Points are fame points. How do you get points? Let me count the ways...

In the beginning

You can trade, buying commodities at one planet and delivering to another. You can explore new lands space, collecting Exploration tokens for minor rewards. You can take on Missions - some fair, some foul - and complete them. You can upgrade your ship. You can gain Titles by being the first to do X. You can buy fame, you can stumble into it (roll 20 on a d20) you can even assist each other by donating energy to a stranded player, lost in space. Or you can blow each other up.

Clockwise from yellow: Chris, Andrew (black) Joe (red) and me (blue)

In doing these things however, you're expending energy and often picking up damage. As long as you end your turn on a planet, you can recharge for free. Out in the cosmos, however, such assistance is harder to come by, and your resources slowly drain away. 

There's also quite bit of luck. Each 'outfit' aboard your ship - engines, weapons, shields - represents a number of die rolls. It's possible to simply roll low, and plod along in a very non-Star-Warsy manner. And the other potential spanner in the works is your legal status. Everyone starts out lawful but the game is engineered to tempt you into going Outlaw: it's just so much easier to crash through barriers and sell cargo at Outlaw planets. Being lawful takes a bit more effort. But the less lawful you are, the more the bounty on you grows, and the more tempted everyone is to blow you up and claim it.

We started around 4pm, and agreed to wrap up at 7.45. I began, and realised that in excitedly kitting out my ship to the gills I'd kept no cash back for trading. Instead I nabbed an exploration token and picked up my first mission. Everyone began on a similarly tentative level, as we explored the space around us and the board began to grow.

But this gentle existence didn't last long. Chris flew into Ferrin's Call and was sucked to his death in short order, although at least he explored twice on the way. Then Andrew died too. They were both disappointed that dying wasn't recognised in the point-scoring, and when Andrew died a third time he cried "I must be famous now!"

But no. I also took a risky flight across what looked like murky space but turned out to be a star, and died as well. Fortunately for all of us, dying isn't as problematic in Xia as it is in some other games - or indeed life. But as our knowledge of the galaxy grew, so did the risks, with three non-player-chartacters triggered into action at various times. One hunted down outlaw players, one went after innocent law-abiding citizens, and the other followed a trade route, accruing cash as it did so and becoming more and more tempting to blow up as a result. 

As we gathered money, we also upgraded our ships, with Chris buying Occam's Razor - small hold, but an exceedingly destructive gun on board. "It's only fair to warn you" he pointed out, slightly ominously. 

Andrew meanwhile was having some crappy luck with the dice, and remained behind us on the Fame track, as lowly 'space scum'. Joe and I had already made 'humble skipper' - which Joe confusingly misread as sphincter - as the competition hotted up. Events - triggered by players reaching spots on the fame track - and Titles (same) where starting to pop up and give the game a bit of extra dirt. The Scoundrel caught Joe and dealt him damage before running away ("like a child" - Andrew). I completed two missions and gained a title by being first to deliver cargo to a particular planet. Joe and Andrew started a race to get to various mission points around the galaxy, which I inadvertently won after finding I'd failed a mission. 

Before we knew it, space was explored, pizzas had been consumed, Chris had had three cups of tea and it was 7.45! 

Sam 10

Joe 9

Chris 7

Andrew 2

Chris and I loved it. Joe and Andrew had some understandable caveats regarding the luck-heavy dice-driven engines, but Andrew said he'd like to play it again. Maybe we can tempt Joe too - not sure if this is a Tuesday night game but I think Ian, Matt and Katy would all like it. 

Unfortunately however on the night Joe had to dash, which left Chris, myself, and an imminently-departing Andrew. When we saw that Chris' very generous birthday present to me - Tapestry - only had four pages of rules, we poured ourselves another tea/wine and dove in. 

It calls itself a civilisation game but it's not recognisably so in the sense of something like Civilisation. Tapestry is more abstracted, and... kinda weird. Each player has their own faction (I was the Historians)  and are simply spending resources to move up four different tracks - science, military, exploration and technology. Once you're out of resources, you take an income turn (gather resources) and go again - after everyone's fifth income turn the game ends. 

player board

Apparently the designer wanted a simple civ game where the rulebook would be short and sweet, and although I'd debate the sweetness of the rules, it does succeed on the latter. They're so brief that having read them we weren't entirely sure what to do, so watched a clarifying video and then cracked into it. From what I knew - or thought I knew - of these games, it was worth taking hits early on in order to get yourself to the juicier actions further up the track. I concentrated on Science and Exploration, while Chris' early moves were more military-minded, as he built a big presence on the map. I was of the opinion that the map barely mattered until I realised I couldn't explore any more unless I expanded first...

whoops

Whilst I puzzled that out, Chris was surging up the scoretrack at a rate of knots, hitting 60 as I idled around the high twenties. Some spots on tghe track reward the first player to reach it with landmark buildings, that - like standard buildings - you can use to populate your city. The bigger the city, the more likely you are to get points at the income phase. But I was determined to get into space before the game ended, but I'd neglected two tracks to such an extent that Chris had claimed all the landmark buildings, and I didn't even know how to make a hammer. 

However, I did know how to make a rocket - as I had no metal, possibly out of card? - and I darn well made it into space anyway. Where there's a will, etc. Disappointingly, the epic point-scoring opportunities I hoped to find there were sadly absent, instead the firmament simply applauded me for having markets back home. Thematic nonsense!

The thematic nonsense is in part what civ-building players object to, I think, with Tapestry. I find it quite funny. It doesn't have the lurching silliness and dramatic narrative of Xia - what does? - but puzzly fun all the same, and I think a few GNNer's might enjoy this one - no, not you Martin! Chris rinsed me though:

Chris 115

Sam 90

And with that, the night concluded. Thanks all for coming and making it very special.