I hate you, Martin.

Tuesday, and eight gamers convened at the never-recently-witnessed home of Anja and Steve - as well as the hosts, there were Joe, Ian. Katy, Martin, Adam, and myself (Sam). I thought I'd emailed to say I was coming but apparently not. However Hannah was a late drop-out so numbers-wise my appearance was predestined, fortunately.

We began with a game of Rhino Hero: Super Battle, which is a combo of the fun building game that is Rhino Hero, and some utterly random dice-rolling game from the 1930's.  On your turn you add a floor, supporting it with a set of/combo of large or short walls, and possibly a monkey. Then you try and move your super-hero up the floors, because the highest super-hero (unless they knock the building over themselves) will be the winner.

However the movement is decided by a single dice roll, so the actual building is almost secondary. It was a lot of fun to build, but I think even Steve and Katy would admit their collective victory was down to fortune. Good fun, but ripe for a house variant. Steve did come up with one, but I'm not sure his stepladder will fit in the box.

Our building built (and packed away) we moved on to meatier fare. Martin led the Discworld group on one table, with Katy advertising it as the game that "Martin can lose". This was enough to tempt in Ian and Steve, whilst Adam, Anja and I joined Joe to play Downforce. This was my first visit to the racing game bunfight that's a cross betwixt trying to push your car over the line and trying to back the genuine winner.

I optimistically backed myself, but as the race continued it was a fight for first between Adam and Anja, with Joe nabbing third. I didn't see what everyone else backed, but my betting spread was a disaster, with only one of the three cars I backed placing - and in second, rather than first. Anja, despite spending big on a car that came sixth, grabbed the win:

Anja 21
Joe 18
Adam 14
Sam 11

A lot of fun. Discworld finished around the same time, and Katy's prescient words echoed around the room as Martin protested that he finished last "Because it's random". Outside of taking a picture though, I'm not sure what happened. Hopefully the comments will fill us in...

Steve 83
Ian 68
Katy 60
Martin 47

We'd started playing Kingdomino though; familiar to everyone but Anja. The early game was notable for Anja seeing what Adam was after and taking it, something she openly admitted to relishing "even more" when it's Adam she was preventing from scoring.  I set about building wheat and forest, and to my delight, no-one seemed too concerned about it. I felt pretty confident about the win, but it wasn't as cut and dried as I thought...

Sam 76
Joe 64
Anja 61
Adam 42

Ian and Joe swapped groups and when Martin suggested Flipships there was consternation when Katy said there would be no point playing it with Joe, because of his rubbish flicking would cost the Earth. How Joe must have laughed (possibly inwardly) when his first two flicks hit the mothership! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, for instance.

He was accused of practicing, and merely shrugged. But it was all to no avail, as the penultimate round saw them destroyed by a bunch of kamikaze nutters as Joe said "It wasn't even my fault":

Aliens: win
Joe, Katy, Martin and Steve: Lose

"Maybe they won't destroy the Earth" Steve said optimistically. "Maybe they'll make it a better place". His optimism almost made me feel like perhaps there is hope for humanity. But the evidence against is rather compelling.

Oh well. On our little table Adam, Anja, Ian and I were playing Blueprints, the tactical architect game of dice-building.

In each round you're building to a blueprint, and completing it gets you six points. But you can go off-piste, architecturally speaking, and risk building the tower. I recommended against it, at least in the first round, but come the second round Ian had decided to go for it: building the tower got him the best building and bonuses for both the tower (it was a tower) and the fact it was made with lots of stone. In the final reckoning, it wasn't enough, but if only all architecture was as dramatic as this! (Maybe it is. I don't know)

Adam 28
Ian 27
Sam 24
Anja 19

We ended with some rousing Fuji Flushes, as with Luther away with grandparents there was no chance of waking him with our cries of delight and talk of dicks. Both games were notable for Martin's consistently picking up appallingly bad cards and Katy and I obsessing over the (lack of) clockwise dealing. Beyond that I don't remember much about them now. Luckily, I wrote down the scores:

Fuji #1
Joe wins
Anja 1 card
Sam/Steve/Adam/Katy 2 cards
Ian 3 cards
Martin 5 cards

Fuji #2
Ian wins
Sam/Katy/Joe/Steve 1 card
Anja/Adam/Martin 2 cards

And that was it! I'm not sure about the context of the post title, except I heard Katy yell it during Discworld.

How very a-neue-ing

This evening almost ended before it began for me, as I got into my car and found that the interior rear mirror had fallen off. Quickly I strapped it back in place with some masking tape, just enough to get me to and from Martin’s place for this week’s gaming goodness.

At first there were six of us: Martin, myself, Ben, Katy, Ian and Andy. While we waited for Sam and Chris to arrive, we decided to have a game of Why First? This game rewards coming in second and, as such, we did wonder if it was too unthematic to play it first. But that didn’t stop us.

Andy shot off into an early lead, and then tried very hard to make someone else do better than him. In fact, both Katy and Ben scored more than him, but Ben was just too good at being second and so he lost. We ended with Martin muttering something about stupid random games.

Katy 9
Andy 8
Ben 11
Martin 5
Ian 0
Andrew 0

By now, everyone had arrived and we split into two. Martin, Katy, Ben and Ian quickly decided they would like to try Discworld again. The remaining four debated our options and I mentioned Tigris & Euphrates. This got a certain amount of guarded interest but perhaps it was Martin’s anger at us playing his favourite game without him that helped us decide.

And so it was, four players sat down to a game that they barely remembered. Martin kindly stopped setting up Discworld long enough to explain the rules to us. Once we were going, it was a slow thoughtful process. We vied for territory and struggled to remember the difference between an internal and an external battle.

I played quite badly, never getting anywhere near a temple, and I sealed my defeat near the end of the game by taking on Chris in a hopelessly misjudged battle. He won easily and picked up a load of points in the meantime. Sam was first to get a temple down, which meant he ended the game with 17 points in one particular colour. But it’s your weakest colour that is scored, and in the final tally Chris had the best all round game.

Chris 10
Sam 7
Andrew 6
Andy 5

And with that done, Andy was satisfied that at least he now knew for sure that he didn’t like T&E and he could trade it away.

As it happened, Discworld ended at the same time:

Ian 96
Katy 81
Martin 73
Ben 44

With Martin especially keen that I should note “piss poor” next to Ben’s score.

At this point, the teams shuffled. Sam, Martin, Andy and Ian went for Neue Heimat, an abstract-looking game with coloured blocks and hemispheres. Ben, Katy, Chris and I went for Safranito: the fun game of spice mixing.

There was a distinct lack of garlic throughout the game, which made things difficult to finish those garlicky recipes. Chris went for the secret recipe option twice, but seemingly had little luck. I was the first to complete three recipes, thus winning the game. The final places were decided by a money tie-breaker.

Andrew 3 recipes
Chris 1 recipe and $220
Katy 1 and $160
Ben 1 and $70

And also at this time, Neue Heimat ended. Martin worked out the scores and they sounded more like something you’d get at the end of an episode of QI.

Martin 9
Ian 0
Andy –17
Sam –79

I’ll leave it up to them to explain what went wrong or, indeed, if this is a normal spread of scores.

And with that, the evening was done. At the last minute, Katy said we’d forgotten to play a game in Joe’s honour (since it was his birthday, hence his absence). So, as a last minute substitute, we put Martin’s table back the way it was in honour of Joe. Hope he appreciates the gesture.

And this is the Division

Colt Calling

Christmas is time of cheer for many but, for boardgamers, trying to arrange a weekly event is fraught with difficulties. This week it looked like there would be hardly any attendees but in the end we were eight in total: Martin (the host), Katy, Hannah (a surprise late entrant), Andy, Ian, Sam (feeling ill but trying Ian’s “beer cure”), Ben and myself.

We split into two groups of four. At one end of the table Discworld: Ankh Morpock. This caught Ben’s eye as a fan of Terry Pratchett’s work and Martin was keen to get it to the table. Ian and Katy were recruited to complete the quartet.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the table we considered what to play. Nothing seemed to appeal to everyone, as various options were mooted and objected. We chose Oregon.

I’ve played Discworld once before, a long time ago, as a two-player game with Sam. It didn’t really grab me, but judging by the whoops of surprise (Katy) and melodramatic reading of various cards’ powers (Martin) they seemed to be having a rare old time of it.

Oregon, however, was proving to be a sterner task for our brain cells. Sam was a newcomer and had to learn a new set of rules at less than 100%. The other newcomer, Hannah, seemed to have no such issues and focused on mining, building up a large pile of gold and coal.

This proved to be pivotal as these meant she was able to overtake Andy in the final round of scoring. I got into third by going where Sam was about to go, thus ruining his chance of a 12-point move.

Hannah 69
Andy 68
Andrew 61
Sam 60

Over in Discworld, there was last-minute hilarity as a series of unexpected events ruined Martin’s strategy. “All my buildings fell down” he complained once the scores had been added up. No one seemed very sympathetic, though.

Ian 70
Katy 65
Ben 58
Martin 30

Happily, the two games ended at around the same time, so before Sam and Hannah called it a night, Martin went for the old faithful, Pairs, to tempt them into one more game.

The game had it’s usual round of coincidence-defying defeats. Katy and Andy went out in the same round with pairs of grapes, despite their being only four in the pack. And in one round, a desperate Ian (on 16 points) dealt a card to Sam (on 17 points) yelling “Lemon” as he did. And so it was, sending Sam crashing out of the round.

Three pumpkins in a row!

But despite getting so close, neither Ian nor Sam finished the game that round. There were two more rounds after that: enough for Martin to overtake and claim the win.

Martin 25
Ian 23
Hannah 22
Andrew 19
Sam 17
Katy 15
Andy 14
Ben 8

We should note Ben’s interesting tactic of never sticking, unless he’s in first. This man is goal-oriented. All of his eight points came from just one round.

Then Hannah and Sam left, so the remaining six of us played Colt Express. This 3D Robo Rally-ish game without the grim tedium and with a dash of Loony Tunes slapstick seemed like the perfect way to finish an evening.

Martin was a little put out that he wasn’t green for a change, but he was comforted by the fact that he was Belle: the character that is never shot if there is another legitimate target available. As he noted, he would always be chosen to be shot, if at all possible.

I was Doc, allowed a hand of seven cards instead of the usual six, and my coup de grace was to nip past the Marshall and grab the briefcase for $1000. For the rest of the game, Doc must have looked a bit odd as he ducked from roof to carriage, swinging punches at random in a desperate attempt at hanging onto his swag.

Everyone took turns shooting each other, with Andy mostly on the receiving end. The Marshall was also instrumental in shooting people up through the roof, thus spoiling the rest of their plans and they usually took out their frustration by shooting anyone within range.

Ian was the mysterious Ghost, whose first move is always a mystery. And his enigmatic ways worked best as he scooped up gem after gem, sack after sack of money. Ben’s ability to punch and steal at the same time didn’t do him much good, though.

Ian $2950
Andrew $2000
Katy $1800
Martin $1250
Andy $1250
Ben $750

And with that, we were on our way. Another evening done.

I noticed a couple of mistakes in my spreadsheet from last week, so this is definitely the proper standings at the moment. Not much has changed, though. And with one week of the season left, there’s not much left to play for.

Apart from fun, of course!

Saturday Night Clever

While the cat’s away, the mice will play. And when two cats are away, the mice all get together and play games until the early hours of the morning! The combined absence of Joe’s and Sam’s wives meant that a big sleep-over was arranged by the two husbands, with the clear aim of playing lots of board games once the little ones were in bed.

First, though, was the delicious meal of chili and burritos laid on by Joe. The six early arrivals (me, Joe, Sam, Martin, Adam and Hannah) all happily ate our way through Joe’s generous offerings. And it was his birthday recently! We should have been treating him! Maybe next year. At least Gonz was thoughtful enough to bring a cake when he arrived.

We discussed what to play and we soon split into two: Martin, Adam, Hannah and Sam chose Discworld:Ankh Morpock. Joe, Gonz and I chose Caverna, an Agricola variant which is apparently much easier to play despite coming in a far bigger and imposing box.

Both games needed rules explaining and, in the case of Discworld, some pieces added. Gonz had brought it in a Kingdom Builder box, and somehow while transferring the pieces across, some things got lost. As such, one player had to improvise with sheep from Agricola for their meeples. I’m sure Pratchett would approve.

I’m sure this only added to the fun. Meanwhile, we were making our way through the rules which was not so difficult thanks to our familiarity with Agricola. I was impressed with the wooden pieces, but it does take up a lot of space. I even took a photo of the game board, so I could look at it on my phone rather than leaning over the table, squinting off into the distance.

My strategy was single-minded and perhaps foolish. It was also the least Agricola-esque way to play the game. While Gonz bred animals and grew crops, I went on a rampage, giving both my farmers weapons and sending them out on expeditions every chance I got. Joe went for ruby farming, no doubt helped by the fact that neither Gonz nor I really bothered with them.

It’s a slow game. We sped through the first few rounds, but before long things started to slow down. Over on Discworld, things were slow but faster than us. They finished first.

Adam 100
Sam 92
Hannah 66
Martin 59

Martin clearly got a bad case of explainer’s curse. We on Caverna still had about half an hour to go, so the four of them played 6nimmt.

Sam 36
Martin 45
Adam 52
Hannah 79

By now, Hannah’s recent good form on Roll For The Soul was obviously at an end. After this we were still wading through the final stages of our game, so they were able to squeeze in one more game: No Thanks.

Adam 13
Sam 13
Martin 50
Hannah 78

By this time, Caverna had finished. In the end, while my tactics were solid, I was undone by not having any children. I still had the same two farmers/adventurers that I started with, while Gonz and Joe had four or five each. Joe really benefitted from his ruby monopoly, since he got about 20 points alone from his stash of jewels

Joe 88
Gonz 67
Anderw 49

Now that all seven of us were free at the same time, we chose a game we could all play. After some discussion and voting by pointing to our favourite choices, Incan Gold was chosen.

Hmph, "Incan Cold," more like. None of us had ever seen anything like it: zombie ladies, spiders and snakes were piled up against the entrances of each temple. You either got out quick or ended empty-handed. Sam did just that, and ranked a respectable third. I won, simply by fluke. With five of us eyeing up an artifact, four of us left in the same round to try and take it. Only I was left. I stayed for one more card (a lowly two) before I, too, ran away. It was enough to give me the win in a very low scoring game.

Andrew 18
Gonz 14
Sam 13
Hannah 8
Adam 5
Joe 4
Martin 4

Now, Adam and Hannah left and Sam went upstairs to take care of his kids. This left the four of us to discuss and debate almost endlessly over what to play next. Sigma File or Kingdom Builder? Africana or ten Days In Africa? 7 Wonders or Hab and Gut? Finally we took a secret ballot which at least narrowed it down to three. The first one we played was Dixit, the game of describing pictures so that only one person chooses it.

And what a controversial game it turned out to be. Joe tactic of saying something that only one person would understand was challenged by Gonz. The phrase in question was “It must be lunchtime.” And the target picture was a man with a newspaper. Martin chose it, because he and Joe sometimes met up at lunchtime to do the crossword. Gonz was not impressed, saying it was too exclusive and not everyone would have a chance. Joe agreed to drop this strategy.

It’s a great game. Another relaxing game, all about looking at pretty pictures and making connections. Another game we should play more often.

Gonz 31
Martin 29
Joe 28
Andew 26

Finally, the evening ended with Las Vegas. Dice! Casinos! Whiskey from a plastic bottle! IN other words: the perfect way to end a Saturday. Joe brought out a couple of dice arenas for the occasion. It’s always good to see Das Exclusive, even if it is so big it doesn’t leave much room for the game.

Las Vegas is a great game, full of excitement and crazy stories. Unfortunately, mostly of the “you had to be there” variety. Anecdotes about people rolling dice never impress. Although Joe rolling all ones, and thus prematurely ending his round still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

Gonz won on a tie-breaker. I never even knew Las Vegas had a tie-breaker.

Gonz 370,000 (won with more cards)
Andrew 370,000
Joe 260,000
Martin 220,000

And with that, it was heading toward one a.m. and we set off into the rain. A great evening. Thanks to Joe for hosting and feeding us.

Gonz rises to the top of the form table after a good performance. Sam climbs to second.

						Points
Gonz	1	1	2	2	1	7
Sam	3	1	1	2	1	8
Steve	1	3	3	1	5	13
Andrew	2	4	1	3	3	13
Adam	5	1	3	1	3	13
Martin	4	2	6	2	2	14
Anja	3	2	4	5	5	19
Joe	3	3	6	1	6	19
Hannah	4	3	4	3	5	19
Will	3	2	5	5	5	20
Matt	5	5	5	5	5	25