Green Bum

As I drove towards Greenbank Cemetery last night, the rain came lashing sideways in waves, ending a period of relative calm. I texted Adam suggesting he might want to abandon his plans to cycle, and he agreed: joining Martin as they both materialised out of the rainy night to climb into the car. We set off for Steve and Anja's, where our host was Louie. Now accustomed to nerds coming in with bags of games, he furnished us with drinks, glasses and bowls for snacks. Soon enough Anja appeared as well, and then Pete, and after a brief discussion of comics Louie chose our first game: Telestrations. 

Oddly Martin had never played this, but Louie talked us through the rules and we set off on a drawing and guessing spree. Notable highlights were Martin's drawing of a needle in a haystack being identified by Anja as 'pin' - she ignored the haystack - and Martin's guess for 'grilled cheese' which hopefully gave nobody else the bad dreams I had. 

The scoring is kind of a nonsense, but for what it's worth Louie, Anja and myself took a joint win with 1.5 points each. Steve joined us for the last round, so as we pivoted to the evening's main courses everyone was already at the table. Anja, Adam and Pete chose Thurn and Taxis and myself, Steve and Martin went to Ape Town. 

Pete was new to Thurn and Steve new to Ape Town, so there was some Rules Mumblings for a little while before we struck out establishing a postal service/menacing simians. As is my habit - sorry - I lost track of the other game as I was laser-focused on trying to be a mafia monkey, succeeding in making the early running but becoming increasingly concerned about my lack of lemurs. 

My worries were well-founded. Though we clung onto Martin's coat-tails - or actual tail - for the majority of the game, he pushed his way forward in the finale far enough to take a pretty convincing win. 

Martin 100
Sam 89
Steve 73

Germany's network of postboxes was still being developed, so we blasted through a quick game of Jungo. Martin won this too, in pretty short order. 

Then we embarked on a brutal game of Misfits, with all of us collapsing the tower at different points - most agonisingly for me, it happened placing my very last piece. 

And when that happened we all had around ten pieces of wood each - almost as if the last 15 minutes had been a complete waste of time. As Thurn and Taxis was now packing up, we declared it a draw. I'll have to leave the German drama to the comments, as I was distracted by being clumsy and don't really recall any of the rules. I know Adam won though.

Adam 30

Pete 24

Anja 16

Astonishingly it was now late enough that our next game was our last: So Clover, of course! And a triumphant So Clover at that. Martin's Spinal Tap was almost portabelloed by Movie coming out, and Anja's clue of Gallery had us foxed for a while as well until we connected to the underwater elements in zoo/tunnel. Most contentious turned out to be my clue of Battle Axe for Dungeon/Accessory, as Steve felt manacles would be a better clue, and I said not all dungeons are sex dungeons, Steve. Martin fleetingly thought one might go in fancy dress to a poetry party, before blinking in surprise at his own thought process in a way I haven't seen before. 

Regardless, look at this! 36 points. 

Adam had been first to finish, and whiled away his waiting time trying to draw an actual clover leaf on the back of his clover, before deciding it looked more like a bum. I"m presuming he added the hair afterwards. To be honest, there are a couple of other things it looks like now. 

 

On that physiological bombshell, we called it a night. 

Bloops in Hoops

Six of us assembled at Joe's house last night, or seven if you include Sybil, who stalked the table alternating between demanding Adam H's chips and barking at the cat in the garden/harrumphing at life. As well as Adam and the hosts there was myself (Sam), Ian, Katy and Martin. As we discussed Joe's baize-like tablecloth, I took a photo that made Martin look much smaller than usual. 

And then we began the night by extorting half of Adam's tea from him and playing Team Play. I apologised to Martin in advance as I have no knack for this game at all and spent most of it hoping a 1 would come out. Adam was similarly bereft - he didn't complete his own goal the entire game - and Katy and Joe made the early running, completing 3 goal cards before Martin and I had even done one. 

Martin did most of the work for our team and while Ian completed his own goals his partner went for the public ones. I finally grabbed a 1 and got involved, but it was too little too late: 

Katy and Joe 35
Ian and Adam 30

Martin and Sam 29

We split into two groups, with Joe Adam and Ian setting up Thurn and Taxis and Martin cajoling Katy and I into a game of Greed. 

Greed is a pretty simple and pretty feisty card-drafting game: everyone is dealt twelve cards and adds one to their hand, then adds one from the eleven they were passed and so on. From round three, everyone also plays a card from their hand: loosely speaking Holdings raise money, Actions do a thing and Thugs are a sort of combination of both. Holdings and Thugs also have symbols on them, which are way of generating revenue, something Martin seemed to be rather intent on, judging by the proliferating cash on all his holdings:

I only had two the entire game, but went heavy on a good Thug combination that showered me with cash every time I played an action. Katy found herself cash-bereft with a hand that demanded payment to play cards, and was also a little unfortunate with timing. It ended with a somewhat fortuitous debut win, as Martin slightly undid himself by misreading an action card in the penultimate round:

Sam $170k

Martin $150k

Katy $125k

Thurn was still taxi-ing (sorry) with Adam describing current events as 'subjectively shite' so we broke out Misfits. 

We ended up playing twice, as the Thurn trio eyed our structures nervously, aware that any collapse might have catastrophic consequences for the post offices of Bavaria. I cheekily began the first game, even though Misfits doesn't actually have one of those 'last person to x' starter rules. 

Martin tried some ambitious things and they didn't come off, and in short order I was down to my cubes - and a win. We reset and Martin started, quickly degenerating the idea of a tower into something less imposing...

Which we collapsed and built again, slightly more impressively at first before realising there was precious little to do with it. More collapses followed.

I was laughing so much I'm still not sure how I took this picture of Katy and Ian.

But I picked up another win and as they hit the closing stages of Thurn we bashed out a quick game of Panda Panda. This is a super-simple card-drafter where you win two rounds to win the game. To win a round you need to have any of the possible winning hands (there are ten, varying from two specific cards to seven) at the start of your turn, at which point you call out 'Panda Panda' and delight in Martin's disdain. 

On a turn you can either pick up - from the deck, or the top of another player's discard pile - or discard to your own discards. If anyone discards an A (the most common card) everyone passes a card to their left, a kind of sabotage/lottery combo you can use to screw over someone who looks like they're about to panda but also stumble on something useful.

Luck over judgement for sure, but I won again just as Thurn and Taxis wrapped up with some dramatic scores: 

Adam 32

Joe 10

Ian 7

Joe would have won had he played his last turn differently, it transpired, pulling Adam back a couple of points and catapulting himself forwards. But just like Martin in Greed, he came away with regret instead. "It wouldn't have made any difference to me" Ian piped cheerily as he raised his mug of beer "Because I was last either way".

As they packed away, Adam pointed out I was now on four wins - one away from the perfect five. I realised I also won Expeditions at the weekend - had I done it already? I didn't think so because I was a critical part of coming last in Team Play since then: a team game, but still a competitive one. No matter - I'd just have to win the next game too. Unfortunately the next game was Things in Rings. 

Joe was the Knower who knew the rules of the three Venn circles. Ian, Martin and Adam were the Keen Deductionists. Katy and I were the bewildered Starers in Bafflement. Only a few cards in, Martin murmured that he'd worked one of the rules out already and Ian and Adam mumbled assent. I could only see words and string, though in hindsight the yellow rule ('contains an o') was gettable. But that's the thing about hindsight... Adam won this one as Joe revealed the other rules were 'useful' (context) and 'flammable' (attribute). Flammable is quite a broad concept, we've found (it's appeared before) as so many things can burn if you put your mind to it. Or even if you don't, as my perfect five went up in smoke (sad face).

We played again, but this time trying the co-operative game. I demanded to be the Knower because I wasn't enjoying feeling stupid, and Martin said it can be even harder. I explained at least I would know why I was stupid, and Katy and I teamed up to respond to guesses as new cards appeared. Our rules were one syllable, often has spots or stripes, and you expect to find it at a school. 

The school was our flammable: there are a billion things at a school so we leant into the word 'expect' and tried to stick to that cognitive connection. The team worked out single syllable very quickly and Ian pointed out that underwear, skunk and kite (stripes/spots) all had a wind element. But shirt put paid to that theory - kind of a shame. However Joe spotted the reoccurring stripes and they figured out the last circle not by definition but by noticing a kind of logical pattern. It came down to the last card in the end - goggles - that Joe put in 'None' for no connection. It could have gone in 'expect to find at a school' - as Ian pointed out, there are goggles in a science lab - but Katy and I allowed it, reasoning that they looked more like pilots goggles: the rules do say if you're unsure you can use the images as a steer. So: a victory for everyone!

It was So Clover time. And what a clovering it was as we began with a couple of solid sixes and got excited about the prospect of a hall-of-famer. Then we hit Martin's clover and struggled with the amount of possibilities for Laughtrack, ultimately failing after two guesses to spot syrup/comedy and that glasses might go in a dresser. Martin was so disappointed he openly canvassed for more failures and had to be reminded that it's co-operative game. Maybe he was pleased when stumbled on the last clover - Joe's - as we were convinced that tea must go with his clue of 'scald', particularly as he has scalded his own hands numerous times. But it didn't. 

Still, 31/36 is not to be scoffed at. Some nice clues. We called it there and all - except Joe and Sybil - made our way out into the Bristol rain. Until next week!

Let them eat Cake

It was a winter of content as, not so long after Novocon, and just a few days after Laura's games day, a second festive get-together arrived. This time we were at Anja and Steve's: Joe drove myself and Katy over and we arrived just as they were finishing the first game of the session, with Steve coming a cropper in That's Not a Hat. Martin, Sarah and Effie were present and somewhere in the house Louie and Arthur were navigating pixel world. There was some chat and drinks prep and invasively-shaped breadsticks, and then Sarah and Effie made their way home and then remaining adults played Joe's recent acquisition, Awkward Family Photos. 

It's a party game where one player draws a card and chooses which demented photo they want the other players to provide a quote for. The quotes themselves are on cards, and drawn from movies, meaning there is fun to be had in the juxtaposition of lines we often know and strange people we don't, as well as the weirdness of the images themselves. I should have written some of these down but I didn't - anyway, the active player chooses which quote they thinks works best/is funniest/stupidest and the player who provided the quote gets the picture as a point. Katy cleaned up here, snagging three pics. The rest of us had one or none, but the highlight was no doubt Steve's enthusiastic embracing of reading the lines. 

We split into two groups, with Joe Katy and Hannah joining Martin in the perilous lands of Hold Your Ground and myself, Adam, Anja and Steve playing MLEM. 

Anja was concerned that her conservative approach was boring initially, but she warmed to the theme as serial explosions sent the rest of us into the ether whilst she watched from the warmth of a planet made of yarn. I missed all the fun of Hold Your Ground as I was too busy heckling her - to no avail. Steve and I tried to finish with a flourish making it into Deep Space, but only blew up again. 

Anja 27

Adam 25

Sam 21

Steve 15

Hold Your Ground had finished just before us, with Joe the victor on his debut play. There was some child-wrangling at this point, followed by some soup wrangling, and while we waited for the latter Joe introduced us to his game of counting from 1 to 20. It's always anyone's turn to say the next number, but if two or more people speak at the same time, you have to restart from one. We were all entertained by this - except Katy, who pronounced she couldn't stand it and left the room - but the furthest we got was 17 - unless you accept Joe and Martin's two-player version where they simply took turns. Steve, Martin and I also played a few rounds of Illusion at this point as well - but then the soup was ready! There was also home-made bread and cheese and a discussion about cheese between Louie, Arthur, Joe and I in the kitchen. But I forgot to take photos. When are you back, Andrew? 

After this lovely dinner Steve took some of us on a tour of the bouncy front room and we discussed such construction undertakings as joists and chasing. Then there was an amazing cake, the name of which I now forget but it's a bit like panottoni, and you - or Steve - can slice it into the shape of a Christmas tree. 

We broke into two groups again, with Joe, Adam and Katy playing Thurn and Taxis and the rest of us Mille Fiori. Louie was initially slated to build the German postal system as well, but the arrival of snow outside meant he was lost to the salad days of youth and cold hands. 

Meantime shit was getting slightly less real on the table. Anja's third or fourth turn was an early epic, as she triggered a bunch of bonus turns and catapulted herself into what looked like, to the uninitiated, an insurmountable lead. But we are all sadly initiated at this point, and Martin caught her up later on in the game as Steve and I took turns to make mournful little sounds with our mouths. With apologies, I missed the drama of Thurn and Taxis as a result, but my modest late-game surge in Mille Fiori was almost as pitiful as what came before it. 

Martin 238

Anja 210 

Sam 177

Steve 171

While they entered the final furlong in Thurn and Taxis, there was a lot of bodily movement around the house and I think at this point Steve showed me the upstairs, which I'd never seen before. It's huge! Then Martin and I played Hit! with Arthur and Louie. All of us regularly busted, but then endgame favoured Arthur and I somewhat.

Sam 84

Arthur 72

Martin 68

Louie 4

Thurn and Taxis wrapped up now, with Adam taking a convincing win:

Adam 24

Katy 16

Joe 10

And after some table shenanigans, I set up my Christmas gift Let's Go! To Japan with Adam and Joe, whilst the other end of the table played Agent Avenue. I had now completely abandoned my journalistic responsibilities, but fortunately Steve was on the case...

And here's some Let's Go! To Japanning from earlier times.

In this game we are planning our wonderful trip(s) to Japan by arranging three activities per day over six days - presuming, in my case, my travelling self has more energy than I do. When our final activity/card is placed, we then go on our trips, and each experience increases the holistic and cultural value of it by pushing the component aspects of the vacation (food, temples, unique experiences etc) up the track. If, at the end of the day, we have received enough of said aspect, then we can also score the Highlight of the Day as well. 

That's pretty much the game, save for a couple of wrinkles of your mood increasing (or not) overall, and the fact that your entire trip is based in Tokyo and Kyoto: any time you travel 'between' these cities, you must take the train. This was where Joe's planning fell down - he spent a lot of time whizzing between cities and without the tickets for it, he got hit with minus points. But for the activities themselves, Joe was having a grand old time, keeping costs low and enjoying a kind of thrift-store version of Japan. It was enough to win, though I inevitably made no note of the scores I think it was

Joe 115

Sam 111

Adam 109

But we all had a great trip. Katy's first play of Agent Avenue was less successful, as she and Anja came a cropper at the hands of Martin and Steve. But now it was getting on a bit - Louie had gone to bed, Hannah and Arthur had returned from the snow only to vanish again, and whenever the door opened I complained like an old man about the arctic wind that blew in. In other words, it was time for So Clover. I won't lie, I was smugly thinking about the fact I had a long record of sixes up until tonight when my clover - the first - blew up in my face: we scored three because apparently nobody sees Memory/Sky as poetically as I do (I wrote Dreamland: there were better matches). 

I was also responsible for harpooning Anja's clover when I said "This now looks insane" about the card placements and we started again only to subsequently discover they'd been in the right place. Katy's cake was a great clue for Fairy/Hole and Martin's deoxygenated for Summit/Heart was clever. Overall 35 from a possible 42 (using two sets of the game) wasn't too shabby. 

A fun way to end the evening, as always. Thanks to everyone, especially our hosts, and see you before too long I hope!

Ablazin' Saddoes

 This week I arrived at a shamefully late 8.20, havong already received photos of the group playing Cross Clues twice, scoring 19 and then 22. As I finally walked into Joe's kitchen, I found a place set for me at a game of San Francisco. I was up against Martin and Gareth - the same opponents I'd had last time I played. Meanwhile, Ian, Joe, Sam and Adam T sat at the other end of the table  playing Oriflamme Ablaze. I have no idea about what this game involves (or what the name means) except a lot of cards, and I forgot to take a photo. All I know is, towards the end, someone said “Joe played a trap!” and trapper Joe replied “So I get a coin.”

It was probably more exciting than that. For Ian, at least.

Ian 14

Adam 13

Joe 11

Sam 5 

Sam appeared to be distracted by the Prince’s expression, saying “he looks like a cross between John Cusack and a stupider John Cusack”

In San Francisco, Martin built an early skyscraper (on the harbourside. Very nice) and never looked back. The foundation cards came out fast, such that we were down to the last foundation and only a couple of rows had been completed. I didn’t finish any rows at all, so most of my points came from builders.

Martin 10

Andrew 8.5

Gareth 8

The game was over so fast that, when Oriflamme Ablaze ended and they were considering a game of So Clover, we insisted that we were only minutes from ending. Eventually, they chose Cross Clues which began with Joe giving a clue to the wrong space. Disaster was averted since luckily Adam was currently holding the card for that particular space.

Martin, Gareth and I joined in half way through, with the caution that they hadn’t made a mistake so far. However, Martin soon noticed that two cards had been put down in the wrong place. They insisted the right co-ordinates had been clued, though.

25 out of 25

A perfect score, if not a perfect way of getting there.

Then we split up again. Adam felt he could stay for one more and Mille Fiori seemed to be about the right duration. Martin, Sam and I agreed. Gareth expressed an interest in Thurn & Taxis with Joe and Ian joining him.

Joe 26

Ian 14

Gareth 12

As we began Mille Fiori, we contemplated Katy’s recent record-breaking score and if anyone would get close. In the end, no one did. After everyone scoring two points each on their first turn, Adam got off to a flyer, reaching 69 points at the end of round 2 while I was in second with 22.

But soon the deficit narrowed. I managed to do the move that Sam wanted, much to his dismay. Instead he did a multi-move mega-turn which made me very glad I stopped him doing what he had planned.

No one monopolised any area, leading to a close set of scores. When Martin suddenly ended the game Sam reacted with anguish because if he’d known the game was so close to finishing, he’d have played a different card and could have won the game.

Martin 178

Sam 176

Adam 167

Andrew 160

Then we ended with a quick hit of Hit. Martin was in a good situation as he finished the deck but he couldn’t resist drawing the final card. It made him go bust and gave me an unexpected win.

Andrew 84

Martin 75

Sam 66

Adam 55

Adam and Ian left and we reformed into a five-player group.

Then we sped through a game of Rapido. Sam led throughout, I chiselled my way into second, newcomer Gareth was behind me, ahead of Martin and Joe who would lose points almost as quickly as they gained them.

I should’ve bumped off Sam when he was within rolling a pair of twos for a win, but I thought he was more likely to go bust, so I got greedy and went for points. Sam then rolled a double three.

Sam 21

Andrew 14

Gareth 9

Joe/Martin 3

 

Then we ended with So Clover. Very close to a perfect score. Our bette noir was a clever clue from Joe. Too clever, it turns out. His clue was “Harvest” for “Nail/Young” which was actually had at one point, wondering if that’s the sort of thing Joe would write. Alas, we went with “Young/Heart” because “Heart of Gold” is on the album.

I struggled with mine, being the last to finish. I couldn’t think of a clue for “Ghost/Cookie” (although now I think “monster” might have worked) and instead went with “Crumbs” but luckily they got it, even though another clue “Garibaldi” could’ve matched with “Cookie”. I’d actually written it for “chocolate/soldier” leading Joe to pontificate “Garibaldis aren’t chocolate but maybe Andrew doesn’t know that.” I didn't. I'd been thinking of Bourbon. Got my European dynasties mixed up again. But they got it in the end.

28 out of 30

And then we were done. Thanks all. That was a joy.

Truly Madly Northleigh

FRIDAY

At long, long last, Novocon was finally upon us and Joe, Martin, Ian and I (Sam) celebrated by setting off literally five hours earlier than we needed to. The suspense was palpable as we waited for ages at the petrol station to fill the tyres with air. The gaminess was in the air as we invented crossword clues for each other on the M5. And the ambience was mysterious as we stopped at a bucolic country pub in the middle of a housing estate at Honiton. "Oh shit!" cried Martin. "It's Greene King!"
Martin's ill-feeling proved well-founded, as we discovered the bar itself was simply a door, and the pub - under renovations - was now a large side room with a single tiny window. Ian said he didn't find it that weird because he went lot of beer festivals, and they're often like that. Either way, it was the most incongruous pub and in some fashion, a Novocon-apt way of kicking things off.

At Tesco we filled two trolleys with cardiac-episode-adjacent snacks and booze, and then arrived at Farwood Barton - after Joe impressively reversed half a mile up a steep hill for a tractor - to find gambolling calves and a nice old lady called Mary, who steered us through the maze of farm buildings to our cottages. She asked Joe what sort of games we played, and he began explaining the nuances of medium-heavy euros, but, as Joe confessed later, "she started to glaze over" so he just said they were a bit like Monopoly. 

Katy chose well: a cluster of transformed stone outbuildings (underfloor heating! wifi!) made up our home for the weekend, and after some low-level pottering, we kicked off Novocon with the first game of an epic weekend: Letterstress. 

This is a card game using the Letterpress deck where you have a hand of cards, two communal cards, and on your turn you make a word with them. But you can also steal cards from other player's current words, meaning cards are changing hands quickly - or can do. If you've any cards from a previously-played word in front of you when your turn arrives, you bank them as points. It was a brow-puzzler to be sure, with, at points, so many letters out on the table that your choices felt exponential, and we did a lot of theft before we got through the deck. 

Sam wins!

Next up was Gift of Tulips, the game of giving flowers (or not) for points. Like Biblios or Hats, there's a kind of inscrutability to it that means it's hard to grasp exactly what's what at a given moment. Or, as Martin happily put it, "That was a fucking waste of time!" 

Joe 54

Ian 47

Sam 46

Martin 25

Then there was some investigation of lighting arrangements that included discovery of a mysterious turbine switch, that did apparently nothing. nothing visible anyway. Joe left on a high to collect Katy whilst we set up three-player Cabo, but we were only through the metaphorical door when several people came through the real one! Laura, Adam and Jon arrived at the same time and there was a round of hugs, high-fives and even the odd handshake. Explorations of the cottages were afoot and for a while it was almost like we weren't interested in games, before we all remembered we were and started playing Azul (Jon, Martin, Adam) and Kingdomino Origins, which is basically Kingdomino with a veneer of dickery.

I'm not sure what occurred in Azul except to say Jon's excited tones about a weekend of games had swiftly transformed into something slightly more mournful.

Martin 70

Adam 60

Jon 40

And in Kingdomino, Laura's domination of anything wheaty proved impressive (fifty points!) but she was punished for a lack of diversity:

Sam 99

Ian 94

Laura 79

However if that was a harsh introduction to an unfamiliar game, it was nothing compared to what Jon and Laura were about to experience at the hands of Martin in Babylonia. Despite my grave warnings about (Martin) making a large network of connections across the board, the three of us failed miserably at preventing his insidious grasp reaching greedily towards almost all available cities, and having got the bonus tile for pairs of cities, every time anyone scored points there was Martin, like a cheerfully despotic landlord, claiming his share. 

Jon's mournful tones turned to greivous and Laura admitted she didn't know what the fuck she was doing. Martin did:

Martin 179

Sam 133

Laura 123

Jon 105

At the other end of the vast table, they played Thurn and Taxis. Despite sharing some small characteristics, it seemed a far more gentle undertaking, and the losers ended in less existential despair. But there was still a little of it, at the postal hands of Adam:

\

Adam 28

Joe 17

Ian 12

We needed some serious cheering up now, and whilst Katy moved up the gears in the kitchen, Laura, Ian, Adam and I played Hammer Time: 

I ridiculed Ian for his habit of tapping off a single gem on each turn, but when the rest of us were doing impressions of intern miners on their first day in the office, it had a calculated diligence we lacked:

Ian - 4 carts full!

Sam - 3 carts full

Adam - 2 carts

Laura - 1 cart

Then we all broke for Katy's delicious stew, mainly notable - as I write this later - for Adam's constant muttering of 'butter' under his breath, and a fight over the accessibility of cheese, as our innate sense of competition took on a flavour of lactose. 

After Katy-fuelled sustenance, we broke out more games. Martin, Laura, Katy, Joe and I played HIT and sat appalled as Martin hauled in every single 10 card to spank us 126 to bugger-all for everyone else (Joe was second with 51). Jon meanwhile tried to teach Little Town in French to Adam, Ian and the freshly-arrived Louie and Lennon, who sensibly insisted on drafting in the English cards from my copy.

We had a rematch of Hit where Martin was hampered both by his absences to help new arrivals settle in, and - at one stage - Joe stacking the deck against him. So I'm not sure how seriously we can take my win, but I pipped Laura by a single point 67-66, with Martin way back on 9 points but with dignity intact. 

Then the evening hit a chaotic stage, possibly helped by various imbibements. Steve, Katy and I set up Arabian Nights, or started to, then abandoned it. We started playing Remember Our Trip but bailed on that too, as Steve went off to tuck children into bed whilst Katy and I gawped at the Milky Way, and a shooting star. When we finally reassembled, we could barely remember Remember Our Trip, and felt like something sillier, so set up Bandu, and Louie joined us. 

Louie was first out, which happily - or sadly, depending on your perspective, coincided with bedtime. With coins at a premium, Katy and I found ourselves screwed over by a lack of coins and whilst Katy defied physics for a while (I followed Louie out next) she couldn't defy Steve's iron grasp of the economy, and her tower collapsed. 

Next to us, they played the marginally more cerebral San Francisco, and Katy was very pleased to hear that Martin didn't win. I didn't take photos of it, but it was the freshly-arrived Adam T who proved triumphant. 

Adam T 10

Joe 8 and a half

Laura 6

Martin 5

And at the far end of the table, Ian utterly schooled Jon and Adam at First Rat. Somewhere in the midst of all the madness, Andrew arrived! After some shabby directions from me, he was redirected towards the cottages and arrived to take up the reins on our epic narrative....

*        *        *

After a journey which I'd planned to be the least twisty and turny as possible but was still rendered stressful by the appearance of a new warning light on my dashboard, I arrived at the cottage at about ten o'clock in the evening.

The long kitchen table was awash with cardboard excitement. I poured myself a beer and watched three games at once in a kind of sensory overload of board games. Steve, Katy and Sam were at one end of the table playing Bandu. Luckily it was a stoutly built table so that the rest of the activity wouldn’t move it. Steve won that game.

Adam T, Joe, Martin and Laura played San Francisco in the middle of the table. I’m pretty sure that Adam T won (he did, see above). I didn’t write down the final scores but I did note that Martin was appalled by ending the game with 3 minus one tokens.

At the other end of the table, Adam H, Ian, and Jon played First Rat. Adam told me that he’d had wine “at the wrong time.” “Breakfast?” I asked. Ian won First Rat by a huge margin: 

Ian 81

Adam H 46

Jon 42

After these games ended at roughly the same time, Jon complained about the dishwasher not doing its job, and Katy suggested Lords of Vegas. At one point it looked like she had enough players: herself, Laura, Ian and me but slowly we peeled away, unsure at the late hour (it was 10.30pm) and the fact it would have been Laura’s first game.

Instead, Joe, Adam T, Martin and I played Mille Fiore, which all of us were familiar with. Steve, Anja (back from putting Louie to bed), Laura, Adam H and Ian played Welcome To… And Katy, Sam and Jon played Spicy. Jon explained his poor showing by pointing out he needs an extra half a second to challenge Katy.

Sam 41

Katy 20

Jon 10

Don't have the results for Welcome to... Never mind...

As for Mille Fiori, I was remembering the rules as I played but it all comes back to me pretty fast. I remember that shipping was a waste of time, so I avoid it but everyone else goes in big and it becomes the place to be. I joined in far too late. But I did run out of tokens first, so I must have done something right.

Adam T 225

Joe 211

Andrew 192

Martin 185

Tiger and Dragon, played out on the coffee table at the far end of the room, finished with a loud cheer:

Sam 12

Jon 4

Katy 0

Then, while we finished Mille Fiore, everyone else played Just One. I didn’t catch any of the clues or replies, but I did hear Steve ask “Is everyone waiting for me?” thus reaffirming that his reputation as the thinkiest player in the group isn’t just confined to strategy games.

The four Mille Fiore players banged out a quick couple of games of Strike! Martin won the first and in the second Adam had to roll all six of his dice and he managed an amazing four 2s and two 6s. I think he won that one but I didn’t actually write it down.

Now it was midnight, so Midnight Party was brought out. I was the original non-Hugo-branded version, so Hugo the ghost did not get faster as the game progressed. It was so old that the rule book had bits missing where a slug had eaten it. Since there were eleven of us and only eight players, there were a few teams.

Steve was last to go out in round two after an epic chase between him and Hugo. Laura must have found it all too much since she went to bed halfway through the game. After round three, as I totted up the final scores I discovered that I’d completely forgotten about the Ian and Adam H team. We knew they’d gone clear in round two but no one could remember what they’d got in round one. “Just give them the average,” said Martin. But I couldn’t work out the average of seven negative numbers in my head, so I gave them zero. They still didn’t win.

Joe & Sam -8

Ian & Adam H -9

Jon -15

Adam T & Andrew -18

Martin -21

Katy & Laura -29

Anja -29

Steve -36

And that was it for day one. Joe and I shared a too-warm room and we were both up early after a fitful night’s sleep.

SATURDAY

Ian was awake before us and, after getting ourselves a coffee, we decided to play a board game. Dune Imperium was suggested. The words “Dune” and “Imperium” both imply an enormous burden of time and thought but since it was early I agreed. Joe insisted it wasn’t as bad as that. 

It was a deck builder, and the icons were clear enough that we knew what was going on pretty soon. Midway through the game I pick up three points in one move which doesn’t seem like much but was enough to win, beating Ian and his devious moves making us discard cards.

Andrew 12

Ian 9

Joe 7

Other people arose during the couple of hours we were playing this, and all were impressed by our commitment to the cause. At least, I like to think they were impressed.

Katy, Martin and Laura played Blue Lagoon. At the end, Katy said that her two opponents had been very kind to her.

Katy 205

Martin 198

Laura 150

And then they were joined by Adam T for a game of Brian Boru. 

Louie arrived and beat Adam and Sam at Llama Land, much to his delight (and surprise).

Louie 115

Adam 104

Sam 100

Anja and Sam bonded over their failing eyesight as they both beat Joe at Letter Press.

[Homer Simpson]"What am I supposed to do with these lousy letters?"[/Homer]

Anja 21

Sam 20

Joe 10

Ian, Jon, Adam H and I chose Castles of Burgundy. Maybe this was a mistake? We were all pretty rusty on the rules and Jon’s luxury version had different icons and a few expansion tiles mixed in to make it harder to remember. In the end I had to play the game app on my phone to see if players were able to block other people’s options by leaving dice on the board which Jon, Adam and I kind of remembered but weren’t sure about. You don’t.

Ian soon closed the curtains so the lovely sunlight didn't 

distract us.

During the game, Katy and Martin (and others too) went for a walk while Joe snoozed and Steve dropped off Lennon to his grandparents and did a quick shop for food.

Ian sped off at first, then I went into a decent lead. But then I had a fifteen minute phone call with my girlfriend and my mojo had gone after that. Jon’s early slow start in which he painstakingly put together six yellow bonus tiles had left him in last early on put paid dividends in the final stages as he overtook Adam right at the end.

Jon 227

Adam H 225

Ian 195

Andrew 158

Adam thought he could have scored more if he’d done his last turn a little differently and things could’ve been different. Then again, Jon thought the same about his last turn. I guess that after almost three hours they didn’t have the energy for one last bout of analysis paralysis.

On the coffee table Louie, Anja and Sam were finishing off an epic game of Northgard. Anja was ahead on points when Sam changed his tactic at the last minute. Instead of invading Louie, he went exploring instead and then but chance was able to build and somehow completed the criteria for an instant win. Amazing scenes.

Then we went for a walk. At least, Adam H, Ian, Steve, Jon, Louie and me set off for a potential walk along the river. Jon had an app that suggested a walk and we tried to follow it. At some point Jon started to suspect there was a missing bridge meaning the walk was now impossible without wading across the aforementioned river. When I got home, I did a bit of research and he was right.

Defeated by the impossible walk, Jon, Ian, Louie and Adam H returned to the cottage while Anja, Steve and I set off to walk a loop around a few country lanes back to the house. On our way we passed a sign promising “Free Aples” next to a table with some apples on it. A man in a nearby front garden said we could take a bagful, since he had more than he could deal with. We didn’t but we took one each to sample as we continued our walk and they were quite tasty.

Back at the cottage, 

Sam butts in: Joe beat me in game of snooker, 

and then...

(Andrew again:) Sam, Katy and Laura played Llama Land and Katy had all her llamas lined up, facing towards Laura who said it was quite intimidating. 

Sam 65.5 (wins tie breaker)

Laura 65.5

Katy 63

Joe, Adam T and Martin were playing Faiyum. “Settling the Nile delta… again,” explained Adam. Jon. Ian and Adam sat around the coffee table and played Avenue.

Ian 57 (wins tie breaker)

Adam H 57

Jon 41

Then Ian and Adam H had another game of Avenue where Ian’s strategy would either pay dividends or leave him broke…

Adam H 72

Ian 13

Katy then told everyone in detail about her plans for a bath and then a nap, while adding that they didn’t need to know any of this. Laura walked in with a laptop and asked Sam and I if we were doing anything, as if she wanted some help with a bit of admin.

Instead, Laura, Sam and I played Kingdomino. Laura scored on every possible kind of terrain which somehow seemed like it deserved bonus points. But it didn’t.

Andrew 68

Sam 64

Laura 53

Then Jon, Laura and I played Oltre Mare which Laura felt confident she could teach us, despite only having played it once. And she did. Impressive. At the end, Jon took a compass tile from the map that Laura was heading towards. She complained that there were others he could have taken and Jon put it back and took one of those, saying he hadn’t seen them. Actually, both Laura and I thought it had been a clever piece of strategy on his behalf.

Jon 87

Laura 62

Andrew 55

On the coffee table, a game of Marrakesh took place.

Ian & Louie 55

Sam 46

Anja 30

Adam H 22

And after Louie and Sam went to set up Flick Fleet, the remainers played Azul.

Ian 78

Anja 57

Adam H 56

Flick Fleet took place next to Oltre Mare and while I didn’t follow it too closely, it was clear that Steve’s massive ship with shields AND a hull was an early target.

I went for a nap, during which Martin won at Babylonia (of course)

Martin 128

Adam T 116

Ian 110

Anja 104

And Jon won at Little Town.

Jon 43

Steve 34

Sam 31

Katy 27

My final game, as it turned out, of the weekend was Cross Clues which started as a four player but then anyone passing just grabbed a card and joined in. Steve was standing nearby for a few minutes, watching impassively, when Jon invited him to take a card. “I already have done,” Steve explained.

24 out of 25

Then I went back to Bristol to look after my girlfriend. 

Plans on returning Sunday lunchtime were scuppered by the persistent warning light in my car and a shuddering feeling when accelerating. Not feeling confident about another lengthy journey, I sent apologies on Sunday morning. A real shame. But I look forward to the rest of the blog, though.

*        *        *

After Andrew left for Bristol, Martin won yet another game of Babylonia (beating Adam T, Ian and Anja) and Jon picked up a victory in Little Town. At this point my eyes and brain were starting to melt and I was happy to sit down for Joe's Saturday night meal, a tasty chickpea stew and salad. Lots of debate was had over what games would be played next, with some big hitters being mooted - Brass, Wallenstein, and so on. But eventually Joe, Jon, Anja and Adam T sat down to play Dune Imperium. 

Whilst Katy led Laura, Martin and Ian off to the strip for Lords of Vegas,  Adam H, Louie, Steve and I played Kingdomino Origins, twice. 

In the first, Adam humiliated us by constructing a desert that gave him more than double his closest competitor's points. In the second, Steve exacted revenge (and I was second!). Whilst Steve and Louie headed off to do bedtime ablutions, I exacted further revenge by taking a couple of games of Schnipp and Weg off him. Adam's capacity to flick himself off the board - at one stage into my neck and down my t-shirt - was something to behold. 

Then we literally bashed through a quick game of Hammer Time and shared the win in a nail-biting finale!

At which point Lords of Vegas finished, with Martin adding another feather to his considerable cap:

Martin 40

Ian and Katy 26 each

Laura 14

While Dune Imperium soldiered on, the rest of us had a very decent crack at So Clover, scoring 31 out of 36 after a faltering start where we missed Laura's mythical clue (FAUN) for fable/instrument. Martin's METALHEAD for bronze/advocate was nice, as was Ian's AFTERGLOW for memory/lamp. A satisfying jaunt to the lateral association world...

With nobody but like-minded gamers in earshot, we then broke out Ready Set Bet, with Martin handling the horses while the rest of us hurled down betting chips and curses in more or less equal measure. Whilst most of us ended off race one with a fairly paltry haul, Adam reeled in over 50 chips, and did rather well in race two as well. He looked like the guy to catch, and fortunately (for Katy and I) did rather less well in the latter races, as we caught and overhauled him in a dramatic final furlong. 

As Ian returned his final chips in disgust everyone took a deep breath - whilst not as high-voltage as the Ready Set Bet played at Joe's house - Martin agreed his not betting may have played a part - it was still a real-time tension-inducer and we all needed a change of speed. Somehow enough time had crept by that - despite Dune Imperium still being played - it was gone 11pm and people were making off-to-bed-soon noises. We sojourned to the sofas and played Bring Your Own Book. 

Scores are almost irrelevant here, but Ian did seem to have a knack of finding the best excerpt to BYOB's requests of something overheard at a zoo or a buddy movie title. He blithely sashayed to a win before half of us had a single point, and with midnight fast approaching I headed to bed as a game of Just One started up to round off the evening. 

*        *        *

SUNDAY

Sunday morning was slightly more groggy than Saturdays, as we supped coffee and compared the relative (lack of) merits of Musk and Trump. The gentle first-gear vibe only last a half hour or so though, as before Adam H had even had a shower Discworld was out on the table (Katy, Laura, Ian, Martin) and Brass Birmingham was being set up for the returning showeree by Joe and Jon. 

I wasn't quite ready for games yet, and went for a walk. I met a dog with a unique brand of friendliness, going from tail-wagging to attempted arm-biting in a matter of seconds.

Playful though he was, I quickly retreated from real life and back to the reassuringly untoothed world of meeples indoors. But things took a turn for the marginally surreal there too, with the discovery of the massive hole, directly beneath Ian's bed. 

Despite this momentous discovery (-the source of the turbine switch) there were games demanding to be played, and we set about playing them. Martin won Discworld, prompting me to wonder if Martin had failed to win any game he'd played thus far. He assured me Adam T had beaten him twice, so I was pleased Adam joined us for our five-player crack at Modern Art (Brass Birmingham continues behind). 

However whatever magic Adam had weaved over Martin in Millie Fiori evaporated in the down-and-dirty art world, where we haggled over prices and struggled to turn a profit. This was particularly tough on Ian, who pronounced himself shit at maths when he paid $121M for two paintings so he could sell them for slightly less. Must we put the scores in? Okay, then:

Martin $404m

Sam $347m

Adam T $329m

Katy $312m

Ian $293m

Despite Sunday being the most recent day, things are now hazy as to where Adam went, but the remaining quartet from Modern Art played Sea Salt and Paper, whilst other risers went to the shops (Steve) played with FlickFleet bits (Louie) and played Take it Easy near the Giant Hole. 

Meanwhile, Brass Birmingham was taking as long as the M5 past junction 3 on a Friday evening.

I think Steve must have returned in time for Take It Easy (or left after?) as he featured in the scores:

Steve 157

Anja 136

Laura 85

Or maybe this took place later? My notes suggest Steve played Millie Fiori before this finished, so who knows. Somewhere around here Katy made some egg sandwiches and capped it at four, as we'd agreed lunch today would be on a 'scavenging' basis. Puppy eyes made by players stuck in games were ignored by us egg-eaters as we brutally ate in close proximity before sojourning to another cottage to play Nokosu Dice.

After the third of four rounds Katy was in a vast lead, and Louie, watching, had heard a spectacular array of appalling language (sorry Steve and Anja), mostly from the points leader. I was in second and could only, maybe, catch her with a zero bid. I was dealt a low-scoring hand and added dice appropriately, ending with a single trump - if I could be rid of it, I was confident I could shed everything else with no tricks gained. But alas, it wasn't to be. 

Katy 75

Ian 38

Sam 32

Martin 31

My notes here say 'heavy crowing from Katy' and I should add it began before the game was even finished. (She later defended her bad language by clarifying that "I didn't say c**t", which while slightly tenuous is also factually true) Meantime the enigmatic Millie Fiori had finished too!

Adam 210

Steve 205

Anja 190

Laura 185

I've still not played this, and didn't witness any of it, but Adam T's status as reigning champ was upheld.  And some four and a half hours after it began, Brass Birmingham concluded!

Joe 140

Jon 120

Adam H 110

What tales will they tell? Watch the comments for details. As the final afternoon launched, we said fond farewells to Laura, Steve, Anja and Louie, who set off on - at this point - a reasonably unrainy trek to Bristol. Some people went for a walk, did they? Or maybe not. I think the sky darkened, but maybe that was just my mind as Novocon approached its 48th hour. Joe sat Adam H down for a two-player crack at Obsession and Adam T, Ian and played Northgard. People ate things, Martin (inevitably) won a game of Arboretum v Jon and Katy.

Northgard was a mini-epic, as Adam spent most of the game clear points leader, but found himself set upon in the finale by both Ian and I, who both had a chance of springing the insta-win condition of controlling three territories with large buildings in. Unfortunately Adam also had three large buildings, a fact I stupidly forgot when I claimed my third off Ian. Tie-breaker was points, and I'd not done enough to nab the win from under Adam's nose:

Adam T: Three cities, 76 points

Sam: Three cities, 69 points

Ian: Two cities, 65 points

We agreed that despite the KS-style leaning into aesthetic over-production (we swapped out minis for cubes) it was a solid game, and one of my weekend highlights. 

I don't know if Joe feels the same about Obsession, as he had his Victorian ass handed to him by Adam H after another epic concluded:

Adam 109

Joe 93

"I had some shitty house guests" he ruminated. From one bonkers theme to another, Ian and I perhaps optimistically took on Martin and Adam T at crossword-clueing game Montage. We began badly - awfully might be more apt - as our opponents serially beat us to the punch, and fell far behind. But then, like latter-day Turings, we staged a fantastic comeback to have the score tantalisingly poised at 4-3. Then we lost. 

Around now Katy and Adam beganYokohama, which was temporarily suspended as Jon presented a mushroom lasagne so astonishing in its tastiness that most of the meal conversation was about the meal itself. As Joe later summarised, a high bar for Novocon and a challenge for any future chefs. Unfortunately Jon then had some bad news and had to leave on the same evening, Before he left, however, he was able to join us for a blast at Cross Clues. 

I don't seem to have a record of the scores, but I think we did okay. In Yokohama, Katy's astonishing mid-game lead of 100+ points was significantly less humiliating at the end. She did win, though:

Katy 155

Adam H 126

I think Jon also played Just One before he left? It's a bit hazy now. I know Katy was insistent that Subway shouldn't be allowed to make up words, and at some point Joe said "Today's special is chrunch futtock". Reasons why now escape me. We scored 11/13. 

With numbers now dwindling slightly, Martin, Joe, Katy and Adam T began playing another epic, this time in the form of a trick-taker in Das Was Sticht?. At the other end of the table, there was the unusual case of a Babylonia game not won by Martin (because he wasn't playing it). Ian, Adam H and I played out a hard-fought battle that I edged by virtue of ending it before Adam could take another (game-winning) turn. 

Sam 139

Ian 132

Adam 122

Adam had some measure of revenge in Cabo, a 40 minute game that we played so badly it took about 15 minutes to end. 

Adam 62 (points are bad!)

Sam 87

Ian 119

I made a ludicrous Cabo call. Ian made a couple more reasonable ones that he still got fucked on by Hillmann's luck/shrewdness. Was Sticht? was continuing so we debated what to play before settling, perhaps a little optimistically, on Hansa Teutonica. Ian's fatigue hampered his enjoyment and, despite pursuing me up the scoretrack mid-game, his lack of a network saw him overhauled at the end. Just as in Babylonia, I won by virtue of preventing Adam having more turns. During this period, Joe won Was Sticht?...

Joe 5

Adam 4

Martin and Katy 3 each

And they began playing American Bookshop, which I didn't get a picture of. We three played Hammer Time, or as it's now christened, Dark Hammer, where the returning of gems to the box takes on a dickish perch-them-as-close-to-the-edge-as-possible dickishness. 

My inadvertent strategy of not playing games against Martin paid off again, as I filled my carts first for a win. Joe Martin won American Bookshop and we reconvened for another two bashes at Cross Clues, scoring 20 and then 23. There was another examination of the hole...

And then we found ourselves around the sofas for the final game of the night - Wavelength. I began taking notes but forgot as both tiredness and fascination with September 15th (Martin's clue for worst/best day of the year) overtook me. Martin's other clue (Craft gin for niche/mainstream) elicited Joe's thoughts that niche "Is dogging"and Ian regretted his choice of spectrum (Star Trek/Star Wars) before he even clued it. But his clue (JJ Abrams) worked well, as we hit the target. Overall, despite flagging limbs and minds, we limped over the line with 16 points.

And, apart from a swift game of Push It in the morning I know little of, that was Novocon for another year!!! On Monday Katy headed off to walk in the rain, Adam to train in the rain, and the rest of us to drive (or witness others driving) through horrendous weather on the way home. A slightly insane way to end a slightly insane weekend.

I hope we all slept the sleep of the just <played dozens of games> and awoke refreshed and ready for more of the same soon. Thanks all, it was something.

Blogger won't let me tag all the games! There are too many