My other mage is a necromancer

Martin hosted and Joe, Adam H, Katy, Ian and myself guested in this week's games night. Joe and I were late and got there just as Katy lost a game of L.A.M.A. Deliberately so, she assured us, so that Joe and I wouldn't be standing around waiting. How clever of her especially since she managed to lose just as we were walking into the kitchen.

Adam 7
Martin 12
Ian 16
Katy 42

We began with a period of chat, during which, Adam and Katy kept the games torch burning by flicking coasters across the table at each other.

There were six of us and so a 3-3 split seemed sensible. Adam, Joe and Martin chose Res Arcana while, after some struggling with indecision and my implacable refusal to play Discworld, Ian, Katy and I went for Azul.

It was a ding dong battle in Azul between Ian and I, swapping the lead while Katy insisted she was bad at this game. I lead after round four but collapsed in the final round while Ian racked up a major score. A score he took several attempts to calculate properly. "It IS important," he insisted, refusing to be satisfied with a rough approximation of his convincing win.

Ian 66
Katy 52
Andrew 51

Over on Res Arcana, things were still ticking along after Adam was introduced to the rules. Joe announced his intention to "tap my horn of plenty" to childish giggles around the table.

We three tried a game of Divinare, the game of being a Victorian psychic (and which takes up more table space than I remembered). Ian, though, found his energy levels waning and he was unable to get much of a grip on the game. He always seemed to be in the right place just before he was forced to move somewhere wrong. Katy did better, getting the hang of it after the first round, once she knew the rules.

Katy 25
Andrew 20
Ian 3

Res Arcana had ended during Divinare and Joe had managed to finish the game just before Martin could do his mega move.

Joe 11
Adam 7
Martin 5

While explaining his winning strategy, which mostly involved tapping his horn of plenty, Joe uttered those words now adorning the blog title but which would also make an amusing car windscreen sticker.

They squeezed in a quick game of Ticket to Ride London and Joe had the unique opportunity to play a TtR game against two players who hoard cards. "I'll just shuffle the discard pile, shall I?" he said, picking up the few cards lying there, which had mostly been played by himself.

Martin 36
Joe 31
Adam 19

Now we were all together so a rousing game of Team Play was suggested to shake Ian from his torpor. The teams were Adam and Katy, Joe and me, Martin and Ian. J&A went into an early lead while Martin got stuck on his opening mission card (is that what they're called?) of a full house. Katy, likewise, couldn't clear her "pair of ones, pair of sevens" and was not pleased to see Adam use those cards to finish the communal mission card instead of passing them to her.

In fact, that was Adam's tactic, as he focused entirely on the communal cards and never finished the mission he was dealt at the start of the game.

Then Joe finished our eighth mission card by drawing a card blind from the deck. A bit of luck but expertly managed luck, I like to think. Ian and Martin's collection of high scoring missions threatened to unseat us from first, but it was not to be.

Joe and Andrew 26
Ian and Martin 23
Adam and Katy 20

Martin then pushed for Karate Tomate, while Katy pined after 6nimmt. Joe was keen to see if Push was any good with six, so we chose that.

The dice were brutal, and Ian, Joe and I all banked but this time fortune favoured the brave as the non-banking Martin took first place.

Martin 53
Joe 43
Adam 42
Ian 36
Andrew 34
Katy 32

Finally we played the oft suggested Karate Tomate. It was a bit of a damp squib with six. It only took two players to decide they wanted to pick up cards and everyone else would instantly get to pick up trophies. And knives. This made for some very short rounds and a sudden ending when Adam revealed he'd scored twelve trophies. Joe, Katy and myself had not picked up any knives at all,

Adam 12
Martin 8
Ian 5
Joe, Katy, Andrew 0

And then we were done. Time to head home with the heady thrill of victory still coursing through our veins. Thanks all.

Punch, Kick, It's All In The Mind

This week's games night saw a steadily shifting number of players around Sam's kitchen table, all vying to be the best.

We (Martin, Katy, Joe, Stanley, Sam & Joe, Ian, Adam and I) began with a recent Knizia. What new ideas would he bring to the table this time? Well... ones that vaguely resemble his old ideas, truth be told. The game was Karate Tomate and is a trick taking game whose defining features are (a) a general lack of cards unless you drop out of a round early so you can pick some up and (b) player with least kitchen knives automatically loses.

It was pretty smart. Trying to judge when to not bet was interesting because if too many drop out at the same time, then those remaining can pick up trophies and knives for next to nothing.

The theme, though, barely made any sense. Something to do with tomatoes and needing knives to see off your opponents' vegetables? It kind of reminded me of Parappa the Rapper, the old PS1 game with an onion that sang martial arts advice to you (which explains the blog title), but otherwise it was pretty tenuous. I’m a little surprised they didn’t go for a Karate/Carrot-e pun, but maybe that had already been done.

Joe 13
Adam 12
Sam and Joe 9
Martin 8
Andrew 7
Ian 5
Katy and Stanley had joint fewest knives.

Then Joe junior went to bed and the rest of us split into two groups. Martin, Adam and Katy played Res Arcana, an engine building game with a kind of fantasy theme. (Why on earth was Martin playing it?) The rest of us (Stanley, Ian, Sam, Joe and me) played Down Force, the exciting game of betting and racing.

Stanley picked up two cars in the opening round. Would this be his undoing? The rest of us had one car each. Also, Stanley kept getting distracted by Res Arcana being played next to him. He even gave Katy some helpful advice.

On Down Force, Joe played a clever but frustrating game whereby he was twice able to put his car at the start of a chicane so the rest of us had to begrudgingly move it in order to get past. It was hardly in the spirit of F1, but was probably how the game is meant to be played: hitting those sweet spots to make everyone else move you along.

But Stanley's orange car sped off into the lead in the second half of the race, knocking Joe's blue car into second. My yellow came in third. Sam was slightly embarrassed by his betting choices pushing his score into negative numbers while Joe showed an admirable sense of confidence by betting only on himself. Meanwhile, Res Arcana hadn't been as much of a distraction for Stanley as we might have wanted.

Stanley 23
Joe 17
Andrew 7
Ian 5
Sam -1

Res Arcana was still ongoing so Joe introduced us to Nyet. This trick taking card game is a strange beast, with a slightly different set of rules each round and teams that are decided at the start of each round. Intriguing and a bit baffling as we got hung up on the definition of Super Trumps.

We only had time to play one round and it was much more straightforward once you started playing it. The teams were Ian and me against Sam and Joe and thanks to a flurry of loot cards in our tricks, Ian and I won.

Ian and me 48
Sam and Joe 36

Res Arcana finished after all that mucking about with Calm and Elan

Martin 10
Adam 7
Katy 3

Martin credited his victory with filling up the Catacombs of the Dead. Whatever that means.

At this point, Adam left too. A very early departure for someone who was generous enough to bring two different snacks and so early that he missed the BBQ Beef Hula Hoops. Now we were down to six so seats were swapped and groups reformed. Katy, Ian and Joe played Hit Z Road and Martin, Sam and I went back in time to the Roman Empire in a game of Senators.

We played with the support cards this time, little game breaking things that offer you an advantage but can be embezzled away by your opponents.

We played twice. In game one, Martin raced into an early lead and looked good for a strong game when a fourth war occurred and we were suddenly done. Not to be dissuaded, we cheekily shuffled that fourth war card back into the pack and kept playing. But Lady Luck will not be fooled and after barely a couple of turns, the fourth war card popped up again. This time we took the hint.

Martin 8
Sam 5
Andrew 4

We set up again for another try. This time we seeded one of the five war cards in the second half of the deck. Hopefully this would give us a decent amount of time.

Meanwhile, in post zombie apocalypse America, Ian was already down to his last two survivors.

In Senators Mark II, Sam had a support card that gave an extorter an additional five coins before extorting for the other players. So, obviously, Sam was a little Roman mafioso, taking full advantage of his power. Meanwhile Martin also extorted every round, trying to get the card off Sam. I didn't, since I needed resources (I even sung “dwindling resources” to the tune of “Waltzing Matilda”) so I could cash in but never got much luck.

And, yet again, the fourth war seemed to come round sooner than we were expecting. Martin was happy because he'd just cashed in and used a consul card to steal a senator from Sam, pushing him into first, when the game ended.

Martin 8
Sam 6
Andrew 5

With Katy, Joe and Ian still staggering through the landscape of the undead, we fired off a quick two round game of Maskmen. Finally a game I won, but I made no notes at all. I do remember Sam saying he knew he'd lost round one when he had a hand of mostly two colours and those were both played by Martin and I first, effectively making them the weakest suits.

Andrew 2
Martin 1
Sam 1

In Hit Z Road, Ian's valiant last stand against zombies ended as you might expect in a zombie film with another twenty minutes to run. Joe, on the other hand, had all of his survivors intact. Katy's last two survivors died and then she too ended up as nothing but a name in the final credits. This meant Joe, with his gang of zombie-proof friends, won instantly.

Joe, alive and kicking
Katy and Ian, kicked the bucket

It was late but enough time for a big friendly game for all of us. Perudo or Just One? Those were the choices. The voting went to two rounds before Just One was eliminated and old favourite Perudo was chosen.

Ian followed up his Hit Z Road storyline of dying young with a repeat performance in Perudo. After him, I was next to Palafiko (spelling? Still not sure) but didn’t go out. Instead I clung on while first Martin then Joe went out. Then finally I was vanquished so that the real battle could commence: Sam versus Katy, three dice each.

Katy lost two quickly but when it came to palafiko her bid of “one six” won: Sam had rolled himself three fives! Then Sam went down to one die but there’s not palafiko on 1 vs 1, so when Katy bid One Six, he knew he was doomed with his one five.

Katy wins!
Sam next,
Andrew next,
Joe next,
Martin next,
Ian last.

By now it was eleven and as we were packing up, Texas Jim came in from the next room. This old stalwart of pre-GNN poker nights was visiting and had come in to see what all the laughter and jollity was. Alas, the laughter was ending and I felt a pang of regret that we didn’t have enough in us for one last game.

But we really didn’t. Thanks to Sam for hosting and thanks to all for attending.