We don't need no regulation

Six gamers converged at Joe's table this evening; along with the host there was Stuart, Martin, Ian, Andy, and myself (Sam). Martin plonked Auf Teufel Komm Rass on the table so without further ado - apart from the mystery of the unheard door knocker (people were talking!) we started picking coal from the cauldron.

Ian began badly and slipped into sixth position whilst others surged ahead. I can't remember who now; my default was usually not-quite-last-place. Joe seemed to be doing rather well throughout, even taking a big hit in one round didn't throw him out of his stride. Ian's tactic - or by-product - of being last and getting paid worked out rather well, as he timed a run up the score track to near-perfection. The game's main drama (outside of Ian's struggle with numeracy) was Martin announcing in the final round he was going for something like 370, which is what he needed to end the game. He blew up, as Joe took the win with Andy claiming a noble second:

Joe 1610
Andy 1430
Ian 1180
Sam 1060
Stuart 840
Martin 450

A crazy game of swings and roundabouts. We stayed as a six for our next game - Flamme Rouge, with the additional water-stops and bidding for a breakaway at the start. Andy and I won that so placed our sprinters miles ahead of everyone else - but lost cards from our deck in order to do so.

We stayed ahead for about half (me) or three-quarters (Andy) of the track before the peloton arrived, breathing heavily down our necks. At this point both Andy and I had decks drowning in exhaustion cards, but we managed to stay competitive until the final furlong. But what an absolute bastard that last furlong was, as Martin surged into joint lead with Andy as my sprinter finally lagged.

With the finish line in sight I was sure I had a '9' somewhere in my deck, which would be enough to hopefully claim a win, assuming neither Andy nor Martin had the same. But the nine didn't show and my sprinter could only feebly cycle by Andy before being overtaken by both Ian and Stuart, who surged past Martin for a one-two finish! Back in the doldrums somewhat, Joe said he had no idea what he was doing. In the end, I felt the same.

1 Stuart
2 Ian
3 Martin
4 Sam
5 Andy
6 Joe

As if wanting to dissipate the tension, Sybil now embarked on what sounded like a protracted air guitar solo, using her throat for audio. Suitably inspired by this all-mates-here show of solidarity, we broke out Team Play with Joe and Martin, Ian and Stuart, and Andy and myself teaming up in pairs. The game was notable for how many times the objective cards got rejected, usually accompanied by some foul-mouthed disdain, or failing that more noise from Sybil under the table.

I thought Martin and Joe were running away with it as they seemed to be cashing in objective cards every round, but as it turned out Ian and Stuart scored the same, and Andy and I had the larger points haul:

Andy and Sam 21
Stuart and Ian/Joe and Martin 19

Next up was Perudo. New to Stuart but less confusing than Dead Man's Chest to explain, after a brief run-down of the rules we were away. Everyone got shafted whenever they called dudo at the start; it seemed there was always enough to meet the call. I began reverting to aces whenever I could, which Martin referred to as the "wanker's call". Joe still insists that all the dice can fit under the cap, which proved to be true. Sort of.

Ian and Stuart were first out in the fairly balanced six-way war of attrition , before I made what I thought were reasonable bids only to find the law of the dudo had been repealed. Andy went out on his own palafico round, leaving just Martin (one die) and Joe (two) in a face-off. Martin called one six. Joe called two. Martin called dudo, and Joe revealed his two sixes! Martin was harpooned by his own gun.

1 Joe
2 Martin
3 Andy
4 Sam
5 Stuart
6 Ian

For Sale was next. Martin again took the rules of explainer to newbie Stuart, although I added the unwritten rule that I always come last. The game began with high drama when Joe paid a lot of coins for a 28 (I think; it's a bit murky now).

Then Martin overpaid for the 26 (or something) before I paid top dollar for a 29. Andy was frugal with his cash, but that couldn't save him when Martin moved into action, defying the group-think of the moment. Three times in the bidding-for-checks round he picked up high value checks very cheaply. His guffaws of disbelief even blotted out Sybil momentarily, and it was a very convincing win:

Martin 54
Ian 49
Stuart 47
Andy/Sam 42
Joe 29

Not sure what happened to Joe, but he definitely broke a rule.

I nipped to the loo thinking I would probably head home now, but I came back to find some curious pieces on the table courtesy of Stuart, who had brought Die Mauer with him - The Wall. This is a simple game of table-reading and memory, as everyone tries to be the first to get rid of their pieces (a tower, a gate, and a few walls of varying length). Each player takes turns being the Master Builder, and chooses a piece to reveal in their hand. All the other players also choose a piece, and hope (or work out) that they are choosing the same piece as the Master Builder. If no-one guesses right, the Master Builder may place their piece on the growing wall on the table. If other players do, they get to place their pieces instead - with the caveat that the added pieces must meet building regulations: towers and gates can't go next to each other, or other towers/gates.

On top of that, the Master Builder can also reveal an empty hand in order to place any piece they like - unless someone else does the same, in which case they can give the Master Builder one of their pieces! (If more than two people have an empty hand, nothing happens)

It's a real mind-meld trying to guess what's going to be offered up, especially at the start.

As the game goes on, the more pieces down on the table and, in theory, your precise memory helps you narrow things down. When one person has gotten rid of all their pieces the round ends, and all other players score points (which are bad) for what they have left. I was appalling at it, but it was fun. Martin was very good:

Martin: all pieces down!
Joe/Stuart 5
Ian 7
Andy 16
Sam 19

I'd like to play again, if for no other reason than it looks rather lovely on the table.